He Shoots, She Scores: The Full Story
by WitchyVampireGirl
Summary: See how it all started. What did Bella do once she laid eyes on Edward Cullen to make sure he was hers. Watch as shy Bella stops at nothing to get her man. All Human, canon couples, a bit OOC.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey all.. I am back and I have Hockeyward. This is just a short litle prologue to get ya jucied for chapter one next week. I'll update weekly either on Tues or Wednesday.**

**Love to my beta: Itlnbrt for loving the prologue idea when I was on the fence. To my lovely pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress, fanficharcore and JoJo757..you ladies rock!**

**I don't own Twilight.. just a HEALTHY obsession with hockey! ENJOY!**

Prologue

When people hear what is said to be my story, whether it's from rumors or innuendos, there is only one of two ways they react. First they look at me like some money grubbing whore that slept her way to the top. I find that preposterous, but whatever. The second is that I'm crazy and a tad obsessed. I think those people are closer to the truth. But then they go and lay on the guilt trip and pity party. I need neither of those. I'm perfectly happy where I ended up in my life.

But the issue is that no one really knows the whole story. Only I do. Not even he knows it all. So it's time I lay it all straight. Ya want the nitty gritty details? Fine, I'll give them to you. I have nothing to hide because I regret not one thing I ever did to get where I am. Okay, so maybe there was this one thing I might regret. But in the greater scheme of things, it got me what I wanted, so I can't regret it too much. So get comfy, it's a long story.

But before I start, give me a second, Chuck Fletcher is at the podium, I want to remember this moment.

"With the sixth pick, the Minnesota Wild selects winger…"

**A/N; Hmm like I said.. short and sweet... thoughts.. are you excited for Hockeyward and Obsessella?**


	2. Summer Junior Year

**A/N: Hey all! Ready to get this party started? Well, let me take care of some business then we can get to it! First off.. a few have asked me if this will take place after the one shot- NO.. it starts from when Bella first arrived in Forks. It will cover all that the one shot did and beyond. Also, I know the one shot was in BPOV..and lots of you asked for this to be in EPOV- but once I outlined it.. I realized that I needed BPOV as well.. so I decided that each chapter will have both. One will be the more dominate POV..but you will hear from both!**

**Also, I have decided to break down each chapter by months.. so it will cover a month time period. It will bring us to the point in the one shot you are all waiting for! I will also be featuring songs for each POV.. most of the time it will capture what you will be reading or it will fit the tone... so enjoy that aspect.**

**By request of my beta and pre-readers- hockey lingo will be definded for ya.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... just hockeyward! ENJOY! This was the chapter that I donated to F4NHK.**

Summer Junior Year

BPOV

_Some boys take a beautiful girl  
And hide her away from the rest of the world  
I want to be the one to walk in the sun  
Oh girls they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have  
That's all they really want  
_Cyndi Lauper- Girls Just Want to have Fun

I looked out the window of the plane, high over the clouds and wondered what in the hell prompted me to turn my life upside down. I mean, was watching my mom, Renee, and her new husband, Phil, fuck like they were teenagers really _that_ bad?

Ok, so maybe I had walked in on them in the kitchen, the bathroom and in the laundry room. So what if I had seen my new step-fathers ass more than I had seen my own father's. Really, was that so bad? If you take that into context that this all happened in one day, yeah, maybe it is.

Plus, I hadn't really spent any time with my dad, Charlie. So, this would be good for me, for us, right? I sighed. It had to be. I really couldn't take all the sex going on in my house. They had been married for just a few months and they were honeymooning it all over the house. At night, I am lucky that my room is down the hall from theirs. However, there are nights when I can still hear them. I have learned to sleep with my ear buds.

In no time, the plane landed, Charlie was waiting for me in baggage claim and then we were home.

"Welcome home, Bella," said Charlie as he carried the last of my bags into my new room. "I'll let you get settled. I'll call for a pizza in an hour."

"Thanks, Charlie."

He gave me his best cop glare.

"Um, sorry, Dad." He hated that I called him Charlie. It wasn't my fault. That was all Renee ever called him around the house. He had never really felt like 'Dad' to me.

He nodded and closed my door. I went to my window and saw nothing but clouds. Welcome to sunless, dreary Forks, Bella. I dropped my forehead to the cool glass. This was going to be a long two years.

A few days later and I woke up to sun streaming through my windows. I looked outside and there wasn't a cloud to be seen. I opened my window and it felt warm, like real warmth. I was giddy.

_The sun! It has not forsaken me or this podunk town. _

I noticed that the front yard got lots of sun, perfect for lying out.

I grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and I scrambled downstairs. In the pantry, I grabbed a granola bar and a bottle of water from the fridge. The book I was reading last night was still on the coffee table and it joined the pile in my arms.

I sped out the door, fearful that the sun would fade away if I didn't hurry and get out there to enjoy it. I laid the blanket down flat, threw down the book, water and granola bar. I realized I forgot my iPod, so I sped back inside and went up to my room to find it. Once it was in my hands, I almost fell down the stairs in my haste to get back in the sun.

Once outside I lay on my back, popped in my ear buds and closed my eyes. The warmth of the sun felt like heaven on my skin. I pushed up the sleeves on my t-shirt and rolled up my capris as far as I could. I sighed in relief. Once my front was warm, I rolled over and opened my book. It didn't take me long to get pulled into my story. It was an awesome series of books about warrior vampires.

I wasn't sure how much time I had spent out there, but I had finished my water and the granola bar a long time ago. I was fully engrossed in a fight scene that I never noticed the shadow hovering over me. It wasn't until I realized it was moving that I looked up and screamed in shock.

There, standing a few feet from me was the tiniest girl I had ever seen. If it wasn't for her tits, I would have thought she was a middle school boy. I saw her lips moving but with my music blaring, I had no clue what she was saying. I also wondered why she was waving a wrench around.

I ripped my ear buds off, "Excuse me, who are you and why do you have a wrench in your hands." I slowly scooted back in case I needed to run from the wrench-wielding pixie.

She giggled this high pitch laugh that I was sure would be bringing every dog in a thirty mile radius over here ready to hump her leg.

"Sorry, didn't realize you had music on. I'm Alice." She then skipped, that's right; she fucking skipped over to me, still holding the wrench right up to me. It was so fast I wondered if she was part vampire.

"This," she held up the wrench, "belongs to the Chief. You must be his daughter, Isabella, right? He told me all about you. I am excited you're here. I'm dropping this off cuz my dad borrowed it and he forgot to bring it back."

My mouth gaped open, was she gonna breathe? Did she have gills that allowed her talk as if her mouth was powered by some invisible motor? Was she even human?

"Is the Chief home or do you know where this goes? Should I just put it on the steps so he can see it?" She looked down at me and saw my book, "What ya reading?"

She plopped down next to me, wrench thrown on the grass by the blanket and she grabbed my book. I have yet to say anything and if I did, I had no clue what I should say. She was unlike anyone I had ever met and I didn't know how to react to her.

"Is this any good?" She asked, still oblivious that I had yet to say a word to her.

I nodded mutely.

"Um, do you talk?" She slowed her words down and spoke real loud as if I was deaf or something.

"Yea, but um…you talk really fast and never allowed me to speak." I took some time to look at her.

She couldn't be any taller than I was, she was very skinny, but not in an anorexic way, she had jet black hair that was short and spiky. She had on a pink t-shirt with pink rhinestones that formed a heart with black capris and chunky wedge sandals.

"Sorry, I tend to do that when excited. Let's start over. Okay?"

I nodded.

She took a deep breath, "I'm Alice Brandon, your Isabella, right?" She extended her hand.

"I prefer Bella. Hello Alice. Nice to meet you." I smiled warmly at her; it _was_ nice to meet her. We shook hands and she gestured back to the book.

"So, any good? I've heard about them."

"Yea, I love them. I am rereading this one, as it's my favorite. Umm, you can put the wrench on the steps. I'm not sure where it goes." I kinda shrugged at the wrench. I would have felt much safer if it wasn't within her reach.

She skipped to the steps to put the wrench there and then came back to stand by the blanket. "Wanna hang out with me? I was going to my friend's house, you could come."

I bit my lip. Part of me wanted to go. I never had any real friends in Jacksonville. The girls all seemed so silly and obnoxious. I also didn't want to start school in a month and be friendless. That would be a crappy way to start my junior year. But, I also had no clue who this chick was or where she wanted to take me. The cop's kid in me was weary, even if part of me found her weird in a cool way.

"Let me tell my Dad, just so he knows. Who's your friend?" This way I could tell my dad and he would know where to start the search if I ended up missing.

"Rosalie Hale, she lives not too far. Your Dad will know where." I nodded, that was just what I wanted know.

I dialed my Dad's cell and got his voicemail. I left him a message telling him that I went with Alice to Rosalie's house and would be back by dinner. I put everything back inside the house and made sure I had my house keys and my phone. I didn't have a car yet, so I was a bit worried on how I would get home.

"Umm, Alice I told my Dad that I would be home for dinner, is that okay? I don't have a car yet, or I could have him pick me up or something?" I rambled on much longer than I cared to.

Alice let out another of those high pitched doggie laughs, "It's okay, Bellie, I can bring you home."

Bellie? She's already giving me a nickname when she had known me for all of ten minutes. This chick was weird, but I kinda liked her.

I turned and for the first time I saw what she drove, it was one hell of a car. It was the most adorable VW bug with a sunroof. It was a shiny blue that sparkled in the sun. I was still staring at it when Alice broke through my daze, "Get in!"

I shook my head and slid into the comfy seat. The sunroof was wide open and the music was pumping out Katy Perry's 'California Gurls'. I smiled, I loved that song! I barely had the door closed and my seatbelt buckled before Alice literally burned rubber towards Rosalie's house.

About ten terrifying minutes later, we pulled up to a nice yellow two-story house. The grounds were neatly kept and there were two cars in the driveway, a beat-up Chevy truck and a pristine vintage BMW. I could smell the money.

Alice strode up to the front door like she owned the place and knocked loudly. I heard heels clicking inside drawing closer to the door. A tall blond who just quirked an eyebrow at me but gave Alice a megawatt smile greeted us.

"Alliecat, what's shaking?"

"Hey Rose, came by to hang out, bored at my house, ya know." Alice gave her an impish shrug.

Rose just rolled her eyes, "Sure and my brother had nothing to do with it." With that Rose laughed and Alice blushed.

I was left feeling awkward and a bit insignificant. As if she remembered that I was standing there, Alice gestured to me. "This is Bella, the Chief's daughter. I ran across her and asked her come hang with us."

Rose snorted and then looked at me. I wasn't sure if I was being scrutinized to see if I would measure up but it sure pissed me off. I didn't care if this Malibu Barbie found my khaki capris and ratty t-shirt lacking, it was me.

When she still didn't say anything, my anger grew. Now, normally I'm a quiet gal, but when my buttons get pushed, I don't act like a doormat.

I looked Rose square in the face, "I don't care what your problem is, Malibu, but don't get all judgmental on me when ya don't even know me." I huffed and crossed my arms in front of me, never breaking eye contact. That was the key; never let them see you sweat. Or was that a deodorant commercial?

A few heartbeats passed and then Rose's face broke out in a brilliant smile, "I like you, Bella." With that she pushed the door open, turned and walked away.

_What the fuck just happened?_ I looked at Alice who shrugged.

"That's just Rose. But once she likes someone, you're her friend for life."

My mouth gaped open, "That was…she was _testing_ me to see if I was good enough to be her friend? That's fucked up."

Again, Alice just shrugged, "She's used to people being fake with her and liking her because her family has money, it's how she protects herself."

Well now, when she put it that way, I sort of understood why she did that, but still, crazy.

From that moment on, the three of us were inseparable; we were the female version of the three Musketeers. Except we didn't have swords and wear those funny hats. It was the best summer of my life.

It was then that I learned that Alice had a serious shopping problem and had a hard time not playing Bella Barbie. When it came time to shop for school clothes, I had to put my foot down and tell her she wasn't allowed to shop for me. She made me promise that if there ever came a time that I wanted to change up my style, I had to call her. It was an easy promise to make since I had no plans to change up my style. It suited me.

I also learned of Alice's mega crush on Jasper Whitlock, Rose's half brother. They had the same dad different moms. He had his mom's last name and when she died five years ago from cancer, he came to live with Rose. It seemed their dad sowed some wild oats before he settle down with Rose's mom.

I only met him a few times during the summer. He was a quiet guy, with soft blue eyes and an adorable southern drawl from living in Texas for most of his life. Whenever he was around, Alice would turn into this shy, bumbling person. It would be annoying if it wasn't so damn funny.

True to what Alice said, Rose was the most loyal friend I could have asked for. She was smart, funny, fierce and loyal. She had helped get Alice off my back more times than I could count. She didn't take any shit and she dished shit out just as well.

I loved her snarky, confident attitude and loved it when it rubbed off on me. She routinely dished the gossip on people she knew. She talked to me about the cliques I'd encounter when school started. She warned me who stay away from and who would smile to my face while they stabbed me in the back.

Like Alice, she harbored feelings for a guy named Emmett. She showed me his picture in her yearbook. He seemed like her type. He looked huge, built, and muscular with two cute dimples when he smiled. She said he was loud and boisterous.

Unlike Alice, she let him know that she was interested and was planning on the two of them being a couple-soon. Many nights I spent listening to her and Alice scheme and plan how Rose could snare him.

I didn't understand that, nor did I share their fascination with sex. Neither of them were virgins. Alice had lost her v-card back in April to some kid named Scott. He was a junior and they did it on the couch in his basement. She said it hurt and he wasn't any good.

Of course, that didn't stop her from continuing to sleep with him up until he moved shortly after the school year ended. That just baffled me. If it wasn't good, why keep doing it? I refrained from sharing my inner thoughts about what they were saying.

Rose on the other hand was our resident expert on sex, or at least that was how I saw it. She lost it at the end of her freshman year to some kid named Royce. She also said it hurt a lot the first time, but at least he knew what he was doing. Or so Rose said.

For hours, they would talk about positions, blow jobs, orgasms and masturbation. I felt lost, grossed out and clueless. When they asked about me, I stuttered that I was still a virgin. That was met with open mouth disbelief. When they asked if I had ever double clicked my mouse, I had to ask what they were talking about.

This started a completely separate conversation about vibrators and dildos. Suddenly I felt abnormal that I never had a sexual urge or thought. I mean I found guys hot, kinda. But so far the thought of boys never excited me or got my panties wet. Don't get me wrong, I found them attractive. But I never had the urge to dry hump someone or rub my kitty as Alice would say.

I listened and watched as my two best friends were excited and animated over sex and boys. It was like watching my very own teen version of Sex and the City, except mine would be called Virgin and the City. I was lucky that they never made fun of me or pressured me, but I still felt like there was something wrong with me.

The more they talked about sex, the more I began to wonder if I would ever feel like they did. Would I ever find some guy who would make me aroused and horny? I had a feeling I wouldn't, that I was just going to be defective in that area.

Problem was would I even know what I was missing?

EPOV

_At the time you couldn't tell me  
That one day I'd be glad  
That something that I thought was love was misinterpreted  
She had another lover - she emphatically denied  
But they were doin' me a favor  
A blessing in disguise_

Chicago- If She Would Have Been Faithful

Sweat poured down my face as I slid to a stop. My legs felt like jello and I was panting like a bitch in heat. I warily eyed the coaches, daring one of them to blow their whistle. I hated doing grinders and I was closing to puking.

Jasper sputtered up next to me and leaned over as he tried to catch his breath.

"Do you think the coaches watched 'Miracle' one too many times?" he panted.

I shook my head, "I have no fucking clue, but I am about ready to hurl chunks."

Jasper skated out of my line of fire, just to be safe.

It was the second to last day of hockey camp and I was ready for it to be over. It had been three weeks of workouts, drills, scrimmages and evaluations. It was a chance of a lifetime, though. We got to work with real NHL and college coaches and a few NHL players made short appearances.

My body was more toned than it had ever been. My game had improved, my stick handling was smoother and my shooting was more on target. I had been on the waiting list for the last two years to get into this thing. Jasper and I were grateful and excited to get invites together.

However, right now my body was full of aches and pains and all I wanted was a shower, a good rub down and some food. I looked at the other kids that were barely able to stand and knew that they felt the same as me.

My internal thoughts were broken up by two short blasts of the whistle, the signal that the coaches wanted us to gather up. You could hear the audible sighs of relief that there would be no more grinders. Tomorrow would be the last evaluation with the coaches and then we get on a plane to go home.

I barely listened to the coaches as they talked about what we learned and all that bullshit. My mind was focused on a shower and food. That was all I wanted right about now. After a rather long-winded speech, we were released and I scrambled to get to the locker room.

Music blared as we all stripped out of our gear. I made fast work of my pads and other shit and was able to secure one of the last free showers. I hated having to wait to shower. Once I smelled human again, I made my way over to the trainer's table and was treated to a nice leg rub down. He checked out my knees and ankles and when he found nothing of concern, he let me go.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" I asked Jasper as he came out of the shower.

"If you don't mind. I should be about fifteen minutes." He stated.

I nodded and waited out in the hallway for him. I busied myself with trying to play a few boards of Angry Birds. I was in the middle of trying to kill one of those nasty fuckers with the helmets when Jasper smacked my head.

"Let's go, I'm starving."

I glared at him, "Ok, fine. No need to get violent dude." I grabbed my hockey bag and we walked down to the dining hall.

The camp was on the campus of the University of British Columbia and hosted by the Vancouver Canucks. There was already a steady stream of guys headed in the direction of the dining hall. We dropped our bags at the entrance and piled food onto our trays.

We found a table set in the corner, in the back of the dining hall and dug in. For a few minutes, there was no talking between Jasper and I, both of us too hungry to do anything but eat. Once we got some food down, we talked about the camp and how excited we were to be going home.

Things were going well until he brought up _her_.

"So, have you heard from Bree lately?" He didn't look at me when he spoke, instead he mumbled into his fries.

I scowled at him. He knew better than to bring her up. "No," I growled at him. "Why would I?" I glared at him, daring him to say more.

He held up his hands, "Sorry dude. I was just figuring with the way things were left she would try to contact you."

I sighed but said nothing, there was nothing to say. We had been dating for almost a whole year. Just before school let out, rumors were flying that she was cheating on me with Mike Newton. Him of all people, I couldn't believe it. There was already bad blood between us. He hated that I made the team and he had to be the manager. We both went after Bree but I got her. Almost everything was a competition between us. The guy was a jerk and an asshole.

I confronted her, she denied it, and there was no proof so I let it go. About two weeks before I came here, I went over to her house to surprise her, I would have missed her birthday while I was here and I wanted to give her the birthday gift I bought her. It was a simple charm bracelet, but I knew she would love it.

It wasn't uncommon for me to walk right into her house. So I just let myself in, the door was unlocked and went up to her room. I could hear her music blaring and knew she wouldn't hear me. I silently opened her door, peaked in and saw her on her knees blowing some dude.

I couldn't tell you who he was. I just saw her sucking a dick that wasn't mine and I didn't bother looking at the details. I had seen enough. I left just as quietly as I came. Of course the pissed off teen boy in me couldn't let her off that easy. No, I whipped out my phone and fired off a nasty text.

_Hmm, thought you had a gag reflex? He must be smaller than me. Enjoy pencil dick.- E_

It was the last contact I had with her. Ok, that might have been because I spent a week in Chicago with my family right after it happened and I deleted her texts and voicemails without reading or listening to them. Once we got back I had a few days before I had to leave for hockey camp. I had nothing to say and there was nothing she could say that would have made what I saw fine by me.

I worried that the coming school year would be hard, having to face her every day. But, the heavens must have taken pity on me for I got a text from Emmett last night that they were moving. Her dad got a job on the East Coast or something. I didn't really care why she was leaving, just that she was.

"It's ok," I finally told Jasper, "maybe this year I'll focus more on hockey and less on the girls."

**A/N: Well there it is! We see why Bella came to Forks, how she became friends with Rose and Alice. ohh and Edward.. was cheated on.. ohh not good...**

**Hockey Lingo: Grinders: Done in practice to condition legs and increase stamina. Players start at one goal line and then skate to the blue line, back to the goal line they started at, then skate to the red line then back. They do this the whole length of the ice. Watch Miracle.. they do them in there.. they are murder on legs.**

**Ok.. so tell me what ya think! Also remember that with the new review system.. it is easier to leave unsigned reviews..which makes it harder for me to reply..and I love to do that! See ya next week! *mwah***


	3. September Junior Year

**A/N: Hey everyone! *looks out at the stands* I see we got lots of season ticket holders! Soo awesome to have you reading about hockeyward and obsessella! A lot of yo were ready to give Bree a stern "talking to".. I love your fiestiness! You all rock my world.**

**To my lovely beta- Itlnbrt you are a wonder lady, even with my comma issues. To my pre-readers JoJo757, CullensTwiMistress and fanfichardcore- I love you hard. You ladies give me all the support and love I could ever ask for!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or anything Twilight related: but I am excited that my hometown hockey team (Mn Wild) landed the 2 best free agents last week. We are soo gonna rock this year! Welcome Zach and Ryan!**

September Junior Year

**BPOV**

_The Police: Don't Stand So Close to Me_

_Don't stand, don't stand so_  
_Don't stand so close to me_  
_Don't stand, don't stand so_  
_Don't stand so close to me_

I pulled into the Forks High parking lot and I parked my Mellie. Ok, it was my car, but she had a name and a personality. She was a '97 Plymouth Neon. My dad had picked her up for me at a used car lot in Port Angeles. It was sort of a welcome home gift. She was the most adorable shade of watermelon red, hence the name Mellie. She drove well, was easy on the gas and she had a CD player. What more could a girl want?

I was a bit apprehensive for my first day at Forks High. I knew I would be a hot topic. Alice and Rose prepared me for that. I had never done well with tons of attention on me. It tended to bring out my inner klutz. The girls tried to get me to look at the positive side, no one knew me, and so I could be whomever I wanted. Trouble was I hardly knew how to be me.

I was saved from my internal panic as Alice and Rose came up to greet me.

"Ready?" asked Rose. She saw my panic. "It's going to be fine. You have us and we won't let you fail."

I gave her a tentative nod as the three of us linked arms. "I need to stop by the office to pick up my schedule."

Together we walked into the office where we were greeted by the receptionist, Mrs. Cope. She fawned all over me as the Chief's daughter, forgetting that she was supposed to be looking for my schedule. When Rose reminded her of what we wanted, she fluttered some more before she returned with it, my locker location and combination. Alice waved off the map of the school and said that they would help me get to my classes.

As soon as we were out of the office, they ripped my schedule out of my hands.

"Hey, would you two bitches at least let me look first?" I demanded.

"Why?" asked Rose, "It's not as if you would know if anything was good or bad. You don't know the teachers or if you have any classes with us."

I hated it when she used logic on me. "Well can you at least bring it down so we vertically challenged folks can look at it with you? You can give me an hour by hour commentary."

That seemed to appease her. She looked around and spotted a bench, "Let's go over there."

Without giving us time to agree, she strode purposefully over to the bench. Alice sat on one side and me on the other and she placed the schedule on her lap between us.

"Well, this isn't too bad. You have me for one class, Alice for another and then one with the boys, plus lunch. Pretty awesome," exclaims Rose. I was not sure why she was pleased I shared a class with Emmett and Jasper, I barely knew them.

My first day passed by in a blur and I found myself sitting in my room with my history book on my lap.

Forks was so different than Jacksonville and my old high school. There I was but one person in a sea of endless faces. But here, I was known, hell I was expected. The news that the Chief's daughter would be coming to their little school was cause for excitement.

It didn't bother me, but I didn't see the news in it all. Here everyone knew everyone else and all of their business. At times I felt as if I was in a fishbowl. Without Rose and Alice to help me navigate my way, I swear I would have hid. It was all too surreal for me.

The second day was better and worse. Better in that I knew where I was going, my locker worked each time I tried to open it and I started to like Emmett and Jasper. Once I got used to them. They were like polar opposites in the extreme. Whereas Emmett was all energy and fire, Jasper was a cool breath of air and calm. Emmett treated me like his kid sister and Jasper treated me like a friend he's known forever.

The worse part came in the form of Mike, Tyler and Eric or what I called them, the puppy pack. It seemed where ever I was; at least one of them was there. They had offered to carry my books as if we are in the 1950's. They accompanied me to my classes, even if they didn't share them with me. As I waited in the lunch line, Mike offered to carry my tray to my table. I quirked an unseen eyebrow at him. Did he think my arms did not work?

I tried to be nice and let them down easy over the next few days. That didn't seem to help. So then I figured if they were offering, why not take advantage of it? So I let them carry my books or walk me to class. Hell, for an entire week I didn't have to pay for lunch. But that just seemed to make them needier.

I was frustrated with the puppy pack, so one day I vented to both Rose and Alice when we were having a sleep over at Alice's for my birthday. Pizza boxes littered her floor as well as two liters of pop and numerous bags of chips.

"They are driving me up a wall. You guys have to help me!" I may have whined a little bit.

They both laughed as they looked at me. I had no idea what they found funny.

"Why are they doing this? I don't get it." I flopped back on Alice's queen bed, my eyes closed. Maybe if I just ignored them, they would leave me alone?

I felt Rose and Alice sit on the bed next to me.

"Girl, they are boys and you're a good looking single girl. They want what every guy their age wants, to get into your pants." Rose said that with such calm and nonchalance, but I was flabbergasted.

"But…but…ewww…no! I don't want that. I don't even like them." This made no sense! "Why? What did I do to make them act this way?" I looked from Rose to Alice and again. The smiles on their face aggravated me.

"Um, hunny, they are horny boys and you are a new girl in a pool of girls that don't get fresh meat often. You showed them attention and they are going to clamor around you until you make it clear that you're not interested." I looked at Alice as she was talking and wondered if she was even listening to herself.

"That's just wrong on so many levels. So you're telling me that by carrying my books and doing all that other shit that they think they have a chance to have… to…" I couldn't even think the words much less say them out loud. "They think I am gonna have…sex with them?" I whispered. I was sure the horror was written all over my face.

"They may not be thinking those exact words, but they hope that they will get the chance eventually." The smirk on Rose's face infuriated me. I wanted to smack her silly.

I was shaking my head vigorously, "Nope… no way… not gonna happen." I started to pace the confines of Alice's room. "I mean, that is just wrong and gross. They don't even know me! They act like lap dogs and they are just…ugh!" I whirled on my best friends. "You have to tell me how to make them stop." I fell to my knees, "Please!" I wasn't above begging.

I wasn't sure if it was the pleading look in my eyes, or the fact that the idea of sex with any of them repulsed me so thoroughly, but they both took pity on me and they nodded their consent. The rest of the night we forgot about my lap dogs and focused on just having fun.

We stuffed our faces full of pizza and chips. We danced to music. I even let Alice play with my hair and face. We watched Vampire Diaries and I puzzled over how they swooned over the Salvatore brothers. Alice's mom had gotten me an ice cream cake and we each had two pieces before we felt ready to explode.

They piled my lap with gifts and midway through them we heard noise from outside Alice's bedroom window. When we looked, there was both Emmett and Jasper lounging in the tree outside her window. I screamed in fright, Alice and Rose screamed in delight. They both scrambled to the window, excited to let the objects of their desire into the room.

When the window was wrenched open, I watched as my two best friends transformed before my eyes. Alice went from a ball of pure raw energy to shy and demure. She blushed and stammered each time Jasper looked or talked at her. She was nervous and weird. All because of a boy she liked.

Rose went from tough as nails to coy and flirty. She touched Emmett more than I touch myself when I shower. She bantered and complimented him for the dumbest shit. When the boys dug into our leftover food, they watched with gleeful gazes. It baffled me, but even as bad as my friends actions were, the boys were no better.

Emmett hung on every word Rose uttered. He smiled so wide I thought his face was stuck. He laughed so loud that I was sure Alice's parents would come busting in the room. Jasper made sure to stick by Alice's side like glue. She moved, he moved. If the stars in his eyes were anymore evident, they would light up the entire town.

It was obvious to me that they liked the girls just as much as I _knew_ the girls liked them. So if it was so fucking obvious to me, why not to them? But even more than that, why didn't any of them say anything? It was maddening trying to figure out. But more than that, it seemed incredibly stupid. If I ever got this bad, I hoped that someone would smack some sense into me.

Eventually, they remembered I was in the room and that this was supposed to be a celebration of my birthday. They four of them encouraged me to open my gifts. From Rose I got a rather cool vintage Beatles t-shirt and a brand new pair of black Vans. Alice found a cool silver necklace with a bunch of funky charms on it. She even found an awesome pair of jeans. They were a bit too tight for me, but I loved them. Jasper gave me an iTunes gift card and Emmett gave me a cool pair of fuzzy dice for Mellie.

It was a pretty good birthday, until I got home the next day.

I was unpacking my bag, putting things where they belonged when I spied a wrapped package at the bottom. The tag read that it was from both Alice and Rose. I put it back in the bag and threw in a load of clothes in the washer.

Back up in my room, I tossed the package on the bed and put my bag back up on the shelf in my closet. Like a kid I shook the box and when I heard nothing rattling, I looked at it puzzled. Why didn't they give this to me yesterday? I made a move to call one of them, when I just decided I would open it up and then call them.

I tore into the paper with reckless abandon; I mean who doesn't like to open presents. When the last of the paper was ripped off I flipped over the rather nondescript box and then just as quickly, threw it on my bed. I scampered off to the other side of my room. What the fuck?

There face up on the middle of my bed was a bright pink vibrator.

_I'm going to kill them both!_

When Monday rolled around, I had forgotten about the pink monstrosity. I buried it in the back of my bedside table. If I could lock that drawer I would have. Either way, I wasn't going to open the drawer again, nor would I even think of opening up the box that their cruel little joke resided in. Somehow I would find a way to get that thing out of my house.

I was about to demand that Alice and Rose come over and remove it themselves, but the boys were hanging around when I pulled into the school lot. There was no way I was going to talk about that thing with them anywhere in the vicinity.

"Oh, she arrives, finally. I thought we told you to get here early to put the plan into motion."

I blankly stared at Rose; I had no idea what she was babbling about.

"Plan?" I ask.

Alice laughs, "How did you forget the plan to get rid of the puppy pack?"

Oh…the plan! It seemed weeks ago that we talked about it instead of the two days that it was. My little surprise gift must have addled my brains. I was sure my face registered my regained memories as Jasper and Emmett both slid next to me.

"Ready Bellie?" His face split into a warm smile. It really was kind of him and Jasper to act as my muscle.

I nodded and Jasper spoke, "Remember one of us will walk you to your classes. Hopefully, by the end of the day the puppy pack will be no more."

The plan was rather simple. Emmett and Jasper would nicely tell the puppies that I was no longer in need of their attentions. I offered to refund the money they spent on me for lunch so I wouldn't be beholden to them. The girls quickly shot down that idea saying it was their loss. I wasn't too sure, but I deferred to their opinions on the matter. They were more adept at dealing with this whole horny boy thing.

The four of them surrounded me on our way to my first period class. The puppies tried to get close, but I ignored them and let the others deal with them. I breathed a sigh of relief when the door to the class closed and the teacher began to speak.

Emmett was waiting for me at the end of class, when Mike came up to talk to me; he put his arms around Mike and clapped on his shoulder hard. I watched as Mike swayed with the effort to stay upright.

"Mikey, my boy," boomed Emmett, "Bella has enjoyed your company, but feels it would be better if you stepped back." He spun Mike so that they were face to face. "You understand me?" If I didn't know how much of a teddy bear Emmett really was, the menacing glare he gave Mike would have had me shitting in my pants.

Mike nodded mutely and then scampered off. Emmett laughed at his retreating form.

"They will still try over the next few days, but by the end of the week, they will have gotten the hint." He winked at me as he opened the door to my second period class.

Jasper was a bit subtler in dealing with them, he appealed to their sense of respecting a lady and knowing that enough meant enough.

"You know that no means no right, Eric? I mean, you would never disrespect a lady who tells you no right?" Eric shook his head vigorously before Jasper pushed him away.

On Wednesday when Emmett walked me to the lunchroom, I finally got the nerve to ask him what had been weighing on my mind.

"Em, you know Rose likes you, right?" I looked right at him, watching his reactions.

"Yeah, she does?" His eyes had this strange light in them, as if I had just told him that he won the lottery. "Seriously?" The hope that emanated from him was blinding.

I huffed in confusion. "Of course," I stated exasperated. "It's pretty obvious that you both like each other. What I don't understand is why you don't tell her or she tells you."

He pulled me off to the side of the hallway to stand in the shadow of the stairs.

"Did she tell you to tell me this?" His face was serious, too serious.

"Um, no? I'm serious, I don't get it." I wanted to stomp my foot with impatience. Is he really trying to tell me that he had no clue?

"I don't know," he finally said, letting out a deep breath. "I guess neither of us wants to make the first move or something like that." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Well that seems stupid. If you like her and she likes you, what is the big deal?" I looked at him and hoped he would have an answer that would make this whole ridiculous thing make sense.

He could only stare at me in open mouthed astonishment. Well, he was a big help.

I rolled my eyes and stalked to the lunch room. By the end of the day they were a couple. Everyone seemed so happy and excited for them. I thought they were all making a big to-do about nothing. All I could think was that it was about time they became a couple.

By the second day that Rose and Emmett were together, I wanted to hurl. Never had I seen so much PDA, it was disgusting. I saw more of Emmett's tongue than I ever wanted. But I was the only one who was sickened by their little love fest. Everyone else treated it as if it was perfectly normal for them to be hoovering each other's face off.

I asked Alice a few days after they got together if it made her want to get together with Jasper. She looked at me and actually blushed.

"What do you mean?" She stammered. Did she really think I was an idiot?

"Oh come on Alice, I know you have a thing for Jasper. It's so obvious. Why don't you just tell him you like him?"

She looked at me as if I had suddenly grown two heads and spewed toxic vomit. Then she fucking shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't want to make the first move." She focused intently on a spot on the floor.

Was she serious?

"You know, that is so insane. I told Emmett when he said the same thing when I asked why he didn't tell Rose he liked her." I threw my hands up in exasperation.

"What did you say you did, Bella?" The look of horror on Alice's face had me cringing.

"I-I said that I told Emmett that Rose l-liked h-him?" It came out like a question because I was suddenly terrified of this pixie and worried she meant to do me bodily harm.

"Bella!" she shrieked and I covered my ears. "You don't do that unless Rose tells you to! Don't you know about the girl code?" The look of pure outrage on her face gave way to fear. "OMG, what if Rose finds out? She will be furious with you!"

"Me? Me? Why? She ended up with him. If anything she should thank me for finally helping them get their heads out of their asses. There is no reason for her to be angry at me!" I was fuming at the implication that I had done something wrong.

Alice crumbled to the floor of her room shaking her head. "Bella, Bella. That is not how it works. As her friend, you should never go behind her back and tell the guy she likes that she does. Not unless she tells you to."

She was talking to me as if I was a child and it seriously pissed me off.

"I didn't do anything wrong, Alice." I was whining and I hated it. I wasn't a whiner. "They are together. I did what they wouldn't or couldn't or whatever."

"You were lucky it turned out okay. What if he didn't like her?" She arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow at me and I had the urge to bitch slap her.

"But it was Emmett! We _all _knew that he liked her. It was beyond obvious." I looked at her, begging her to say I was wrong when we both knew I wasn't.

"That's not the point! The point is that you broke girl code and that could spell disaster. We just have to hope that she doesn't find out." She paused when she saw how perplexed I was.

She wrapped her arms around me, "Bella, you are going to have to trust me. What you did could have turned out horribly. Luck for you, it didn't." She put a finger to my lips to silence any protest that I was about to make.

"There is a code, you defend and protect your girlfriends. You stand by them and you never tell a guy that she likes him. It's just a no-no, a big one. Trust me."

It all seemed pretty stupid. Why did there need to be all these rules and codes? Were relationships just one huge game?

**EPOV**

_Lenny Kravitz: American Woman_

_American woman, stay away from me  
American woman, mama let me be  
Don't come hanging around my door  
I don't want to see your face no more  
I got more important things to do  
Than spend my time growin' old with you  
Now woman, stay away  
American woman, listen what I say_

I was thankful for the start of the school year. It was going to be a pivotal one for me. There was a lot riding on it. We had lost six seniors to graduation and therefore we had a younger squad as there would only be three seniors this year.

Coach made me an assistant captain and put me in charge of the freshman wannabes. That was fine by me. I saw the stares and heard the murmurs from everyone. They knew that something had happened to Bree and I. They knew that it was bad. They all wanted the story and they weren't going to get it.

So instead of going to lunch, I spent time with the freshman recruits. We went over their strength training regimen. I monitored their work outs as well. They all looked scrawny to me. Did I ever look that skinny? I looked at the nice six-pack that hockey camp had given me. I saw how the freshman admired it.

I talked to them about working hard and all that shit. We ran land drills that would help them with balance and coordination. We did stick and passing drills with tennis balls in the basement. I worked them hard and furious. We had something to prove this year. We didn't even make the playoffs last year and I was determined to make them this year.

Coach was amazed by how hard I was working them and commented on the progress they were making. I took it in stride. If we could gel as a team, it could mean good things. I knew that some college scouts may come check me and a few guys out. I had no delusions that I was NHL material, but I was gonna bust my ass to at least get noticed by at least some colleges.

My classes were pretty routine and nothing too strenuous. I was lucky that I had Emmett and Jasper in one of my classes. They kept things interesting to say the least.

What I didn't like were the hordes of girl clamoring around me. Now that I was single, it was declared open season on me and I fucking hated it. I was in no place to be dating another girl. Bree's betrayal was too fresh on my mind. But these hockey whores had a hard time staying off me.

Emmett laughed at my predicament when I complained to him one day.

"Dude, you could tap any of those asses with just a crook of your finger." He waggled his eyebrows and I threw a pillow at him.

We were in his basement and we were playing Halo with Jasper. We were beating up on a bunch of pussies from Seattle.

"Dude, I am not into random fuck buddies. They are always more trouble than they are worth." I gave him a pointed look. He knew what I was referring to.

Last summer Em was at a football camp and it was just his luck that it was also hosting a cheer camp. Em got the brilliant idea to fuck his way through some of the squads. Unfortunately, the second girl he fucked became this uber creepy, stalker like girl. She went ape shit when she saw he was trying to flirt with another girl. A massive cat fight broke out and creepy chick busted the other chick's nose.

It scared Emmett, especially when she tracked him down at his house. She called him at all hours of the day; she sent him letters and packages every day and even started to plan their wedding. His parents found out, they ended up getting a restraining order on her. Turned out she was bi-polar and off her meds.

Scared Em off pussy for several months.

Nope, there was no way I was gonna be some random whore and fuck anything with legs. That just wasn't me. I needed to feel a connection with whomever I fucked. Call it old fashioned or out dated, but, it was me.

But right now, my only focus was school and hockey. There was just no place for a girl. The holes Bree carved out needed to heal and that was going to take a while.

**A/N: Ok... so Bella's car.. that was mine.. *sigh* I loved my Mellie. She was the first ever brand new car I ever bought! Ohh what ya think of virginella? She is soo very clueless... but I love her! Edward..ohh Edward... can you avoid girls for long?**

**Would love to hear your thoughts! Now go... write your review.. please? Reviews are like watch Edward whip scranny freshman into shape...**


	4. October Junior Year

**A/N: Hey! Ohh I know I say this every time.. but its always true.. you guys rock! I want to answer a question that a few of you asked... how is it the B&E haven't met.. simple answer- he's hiding out.. when Em and Jazz are with the girls.. he somewhere else.. he's playing the outta sight outta mind kinda thing when it comes to girls. So I ask that you just go with the flow..okay? **

**Love to my beta- Itlnbrt who is patient- more than I deserve and to my pre-readers: JoJo757, CullensTwiMistress and fanfichardcore who laughed so hard when she read this chapter.. I should tell you.. the songs at the beginning should clue you in!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight- if I did.. well.. lets say Jake would had been killed off! lol ENJOY!**

October Junior Year

BPOV

_Cyndi Lauper- She Bop_

_Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar  
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more  
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine  
They say I better stop - or I'll go blind  
Oop - she bop - she bop_

I stared at the offending pink contraption with utter distain and maybe a healthy dose of fear. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was even contemplating using it. Then all the things Rose and Alice said to me came flooding back.

_It's no big deal. Everyone does it._

_You need learn how to satisfy yourself, you can't always rely on a guy._

_It's natural, healthy, and normal._

_Stop being such a baby and use the fucking thing!_

All of their talk was starting to make me feel as if I wasn't normal, that there was something wrong with me. I even spent half a night_ Googling_ female sexual dysfunctions. Let's just say that at the end of that little adventure I was even more thoroughly confused than when I started. I was no closer to trying to figure out if I was normal or not.

So that confusion led me to where I was, sitting on my bed by the headboard in my jammies with the vibrator at the end of my bed. We were engaged in a staring contest for quite some time while I decided if I had the courage and curiosity to use the damn thing. I figured I had the curiosity thing down it was the courage I wasn't sure I had.

I wasn't sure what I was afraid of if I tried it. Maybe I was scared that I would discover that I was incapable of having any sexual feelings whatsoever. That at the tender age of seventeen I would be labeled as frigid. Then there was the part of me that worried I would like it so much that I would turn into a raging nympho and end up on _Maury_.

Hmm, I think I learned more when I _Googled_ than I thought.

With a rather shaky hand, I picked it up and examined it. It wasn't really big compared to the ones that Alice and Rose had. It was slim and narrow with a nice rounded tip. The plastic was shiny and smooth. With a deep fortifying breath, I turned the base to turn it on. The buzz when it was on was so loud and unexpected that it practically jumped out of my hands. It landed on the floor with a thud and continued to buzz.

I watched as it moved with the buzzing. It was like it was alive and I was completely terrified of it. I was supposed to put that _in me_? No way, not in this lifetime. It slithered on my floor and I realized in horror that I needed to turn it off. I was sure that Charlie would hear it and come barging in here.

I scrambled off the bed and quickly turned it off and threw it back in the drawer I had it locked in since my birthday. There was just no way that I could use that thing. How in the hell was all that buzzing supposed to make me feel _good_?

Alice and Rose were crazy if they enjoyed all that buzzing and vibrating.

The following Monday Rose came to school looking positively glowing. When Alice saw her she squealed so loud, I swear I heard glass breaking. She rushed up to Rose, where they looked at each other with big goofy smiles, hugged and jumped up and down. I watched this, amazed and a bit perplexed.

What the hell was the big flipping deal?

I sighed and waited until my friends made their way to me.

"Hey guys," I greeted them when they made it to me. "What's with the jumping and hugging shit for?"

Alice clapped excitedly as she looked at Rose. I turned to look at Rose and she was grinning from ear to ear. She kind of reminded me Jack Nicholson's Joker in Batman. It was that freaky.

"We did it," she whispered and then sighed.

_Huh?_

I scrunched up my face, "Who did what?"

Rose got up in my face, grabbed my arms and looked me straight in the face. "Emmett and I had sex!" She kind of shook me as she said it and then let out a small squeak of delight.

"Oh, okay." I said.

A frown puckered her eyes, "Just okay? OKAY? You don't understand, Bella. . .EMMETT." She punctuated each word as if I was stupid.

"I heard you Rose. What do you want me to say?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Bella, this is big news. Great news," offered Alice.

"Why," I asked before I had time to filter my thoughts.

Both of my friends looked at me as if I was green and covered in warts. I watched as Alice's eyes narrowed into teeny tiny slits. I was waiting for her horns and tails to sprout, she was that pissed off at me.

"You chickened out, didn't you? You never tried your toy this weekend! Cuz if ya did, you would understand what we are talking about. You promised us, Bella." My hands had risen into a defensive posture. I wasn't sure what I was shielding myself from, but it seemed a good idea.

"Bella," growled Rose, "don't shit on my perfectly happy Monday by telling me that you backed out!"

I took an involuntary step backwards; my eyes scanned the area looking for avenues of possible escape. I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well, not one bit.

Alice jumped in between us. "Ok, let's calm down. This is what we are going to do. We will have a girl's night on Friday. We will find out from Bella what happened and if need be, help her out."

From her tone, I knew there would be no arguing this, so I didn't even try. I nodded the assent that was a given and Alice calmed considerably.

"Until then, we are going to enjoy Rose's big step with Emmett. Aren't we, Bella?" I looked at her giving me the look that told me I was to agree. So, I did.

"Oh…umm…of course. I am happy for you, Rose." I gave her my best smile which I am sure didn't fool her. She was too excited about what happened between her and Emmett to call me on it. When she turned away, I breathed a sigh of relief.

For the rest of the week, I watched Rose and Emmett, trying to understand the lure of having sex. They for sure seemed happy, deliriously so. It was borderline nauseating. They touched more than normal, but I sensed a more affectionate, almost reverence in their embraces. Even the way they regarded each other was gentler, softer somehow.

Then there were all the small things I observed. The way Emmett always held his hand on the small of her back or the way Rose would snuggle into his arm. Emmett held open doors and carried their lunch tray. Rose whispered into his ear more and touched his arm or his chest frequently. So maybe there was something to this intimacy shit.

About half way through the week, a rumor stated that Riley and Charlotte slept together. According to Rose, they had been dating since the end of summer. The day that the rumor came out, I watched the two them, curious to see if they would act like Rose and Em. I was shocked when that wasn't the case. Instead, they ignored each other. Riley was often found laughing and talking to his friends, while Charlotte looked sad and dejected.

_What the fuck was up with that?_

It made no sense to me. It wasn't until Friday night as I sat on the floor of Rose's room that we heard the story. According to Alice, Riley was saying that Charlotte wasn't any good and cried the whole time. It must have been her first time.

Rose shook her head and clucked her tongue, "Poor Charlotte, obviously Riley wasn't doing anything right. He's a douche anyways."

Alice looked sad as she spoke, "Charlotte's really broken up about it. She thought that he loved her."

This statement caused Rose to snort. "They had only been dating a few months. That isn't love, it's just lust."

Lust not love. Obviously, they were two different emotions, but I had the feeling that they could be inexplicitly wrapped up in each other, masking one for the other. At least that is what all the romance novels I read told me.

It just all seemed so unpredictable. There were no hard and fast rules; nothing seemed to follow a logical and rational progression. All this relationship stuff just appeared to be so haphazard. Whereas one couple can have sex and it makes everything better, while that may not ring true for another couple. So, if it's all hit or miss why do people even bother with it all?

There had to be something that I was missing.

Alice snapped me back to the present when she started to clap and giggle.

"Ok, Bella, let's get to the good stuff." I had an idea of what she was talking about and I was more than willing to do something else.

"In talking to Rose, we realize that maybe we haven't helped you become really comfortable with this vibrator and sex stuff. So, we are going to remedy that right now."

I started to shake my head, this wasn't needed or wanted. Rose looped her arm with mine.

"We will be gentle, but informative. Think of this as your very own private sex-ed tutoring!" Rose was grinning at me as if she was possessed and it was sorta creepy.

"Do you want to tell us about last weekend? Did ya even try to use your vibe?"

I blushed, as I thought about my pathetic attempt. I nodded and tried to under hide my hair. Why did they want to subject me to this embarrassing torture?

"Well that's a start," soothed Alice. "Come on, all we ask is that you listen and learn, okay? You don't have to say anything. I promise."

I could hear the sincerity in Alice's words. Plus, truth be told, I was curious. Knowledge was power and who knew, it might come in handy one day. So I let them lead me to Rose's bed where they pulled her laptop open and my sexual education began.

They talked to me about erogenous zones, showed pictures, both animated and real life stills, of female anatomy. They talked about g-spots and masturbation. They had me watch video upon video of people masturbating, having sex and even ones of girls squirting. That was bizarre and a little awe-inspiring. They brought out some of their toys, showed how they worked and had me touch them to my arm to feel the vibrations.

They explained that I should start with the lowest setting, to get used to it. Over time, they assured me that I would work up to the higher settings. I had to admit that the low setting was far less scary and kind of tickled. Most of all they reminded me to take it slow. They said that things might feel better if I was worked up over something. They sent me links to _YouPorn_, erotic stories and even sexy fanfic stories.

By the time we went to bed, my mind was filled to the brim with images and pictures. They made it all seem normal and not dirty in the least. They both shared their first attempts at using a toy or having sex. Most of all, they gave me hope. Hope that maybe I wasn't abnormal or frigid, but that I was a late bloomer. They assured me that I would find some guy that would get me all hot and bothered and I could thank them later.

The last thought that I had before sleep claimed me was that come hell or high water, I was going to try and embrace my sexuality, once I figured out where the hell it was.

It was a few weeks later when Alice announced to our lunch table that she wanted to have a Halloween Party. Everyone seemed excited, except me. I worried that it was going to be one drunken orgy and I was going to be the only one left standing.

She saw my less than enthused response and narrowed her eyes in my direction.

"It will be fun," she snarled, "my parties always are. Plus, I already know what our costumes are going to be."

My eyes went wide at that little announcement. "Costumes? We have to wear costumes?" I was starting to freak out.

Rose looked giddy as she pumped Alice for information. "What do you have in mind?"

"After school, we're all coming to my place and I can show you." Alice beamed while Rose was busy speculating what they could be.

Nothing she thought up was even close to what awaited us when we got to Alice's house later that day. Alice practically flew up the steps to her room and tore into her closet. She pulled out three black garment bags that had our names on tags hanging from the hangers.

She handed them to us and on three, we all pulled the zippers down to get a look at what laid inside. My eyes bugged out as I took in the glittery, shimmering and I swear see through creation.

"Are we going as exploding glitter?" I couldn't make heads or tails out of what I was looking at. It was very…um…shiny.

Alice laughed, "No, silly. We are going as fairies." With that, she took out her costume and we did the same.

They were each a different color, but shimmery and sparkly. Alice's was the most beautiful shade of lavender I had ever seen. The whole dress was flowy and very soft and pinned to it was the most delicate looking pair of wings. Rose's was a deep dust rose and mine was spring green.

We tried them on and they were as soft as they looked. Mine fell to just below my knees, and it shimmered in the sun. The wings actually had armbands that held them in place. She even had tights that looked to be embedded with glitter and ballet shoes to match.

Maybe this party wasn't going to be too bad.

It turned out the party was kinda fun. There was no drinking as Mr. and Mrs. Brandon were home to chaperone, which also meant there was no orgy as well. There was a fair amount of making out in the dark corners. However, once I figured that out, I just ignored those places and stuck to the main rooms.

I danced with my girls and even Jasper and Emmett joined every once in a while. The puppy pack stood back, but I would catch their eyes on me from time to time. When I mentioned it to Rose she nonchalantly commented, "You look hot tonight, Bella. Can ya blame them for wanting to look? I am sure you are giving them plenty of spank bank material."

I felt dirty after that. I didn't like the idea that they would be jerking to images of me. It seemed kinda crass. I shrugged it off.

That night as I lay in bed I got the nerve to try my vibe, yet again. The other times I tried, nothing happened. I rubbed it around my clit and it felt it okay, but nothing that was earth shattering. I wasn't about to give up.

I stripped down to my bra and panties; I was still a bit too apprehensive in getting all the way naked to do this. I turned the vibe on and ran it over the swell of my breasts, nothing. I circled it close to my nipples before finally running it over them. A small tingle maybe? I wasn't too sure. I forged on. Slowly I trailed it down my stomach, inching closer to my clit. I swirled the tip of the vibe over my clit and even rubbed it up and down my slit. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

I sighed and turned the thing off before I chucked it into my nightstand. I burrowed under the covers and wished that I were normal.

EPOV

_The All-American Rejects- Gives You Hell_

_Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself  
Where'd it all go wrong?  
But the list goes on and on  
And truth be told I miss you  
And truth be told I'm lying_

When you see my face  
Hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell

I watched the practice from the sideboards. Our first game was about a month away and coach was chomping at the bit to get us in game form. A group of freshman did passing drills as Jasper and I kicked a puck between us. We both groaned when one freshman missed a relatively easy pass. Coach blew his whistle and closed his eyes in frustration.

"Boys, you can't miss those. That is a missed scoring chance. Jasper, Edward and James come show them how it's done."

I snickered and fist bumped Jasper as we adjusted our helmets and shields. We started the drill in our zone. James fed it to Jasper who started up the middle with me behind him and to his right. James skated off to his left.

Jasper took the puck across the blue line and I was a step behind him so he dropped it off for me as I skated to the side and passed it towards a streaking James who crossed with Jasper and was flying down center. My pass landed right on his stick and a then James flicked his wrist and into the net it went.

Tic-tac-toe. Pass-shoot-score.

It was really _that_ simple.

We spent another ninety minutes on the ice, most of the time spent showing the freshman the plays, the way to cover players and lanes. We worked more on stick handling, passing and shooting. It was back to the basics, but it could only help, right?

It felt great to be on the ice again. My mind was on automatic. My legs just took me where I wanted. I found that I relaxed into the repetition. There were parts of hockey that were just unconscious on my part. The way I skated, the way my body responded to the ever-changing ice. My body relished the fluid motion of pass and shoot, skate and pass, defend and block.

Once coach blew the whistle at the end of practice, I continued with my laps of the rink. This was nothing new. Everyone knew that I stayed on the ice even after practice was over. I liked the solitude that I found on the ice. At those times, I could just focus on one thing. Today it was shooting.

I emptied the bucket that held the pucks and just mindlessly started shooting. I constantly checked my form; squaring my hips, feet planted, and smooth shooting motion. Over and over I shot the puck. When I ran through all the pucks, I gathered them and started it all over again.

Thirty minutes later and I filed into the locker room. As methodically as I put my pads and gear on, I took them off. I made sure that my dirty stuff was on top so my mom could find it easily when I got home.

My days and evenings found me back in the hockey routine. Morning I would run or skate, school during the day and practice right after. Weekends found me, Jasper and Emmett in the gym; strength training, cardio, flexibility. We did it all.

By the third week in October, I was in the zone, locked into my routine. It was comforting and safe. I didn't focus on the outside shit. I knew that I couldn't completely avoid the hockey hoes once the season started, but until then, I flew under the radar.

One Sunday afternoon I was pulling my hair out in frustration over math when my phone rang. I blame math for the fact that I was so hard up for a distraction that I answered my phone without looking at the number. If I had, I knew there was no way in hell I would have answered.

"Hello," I said as I closed my eyes.

"Umm, hey, Edward. It's me, Bree." Her voice was soft and tentative.

I froze the instant I heard her voice. Rage flowed through me and I longed to throw my phone against the wall.

"What do you want?" I didn't bother with pleasantries, there was no need.

I heard noise on the other line and I hoped she was squirming.

She gave a deep sigh, "I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I cut her off, "Forget it. There is nothing you can say right now to make it okay."

"I know that, but I still wanted to tell you that I am sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." She whispered and I was pissed.

_What was she trying to do?_

"Ok, fine I get that you're sorry. Is there anything else you want? I have homework to get to." At that point math looked far better than talking to her.

"Umm, I guess not. I just wanted to apologize. Really, Edward, I am truly sorry." She gasped as if she was crying.

"Yeah, well I don't buy it Bree. Honestly, if you thought a sorry could fix things, well, you're pretty delusional. It's done, it's over, we've both moved on. Forget about. I have already forgotten you."

With that, I hung up on her. I was pissed that she had the gall to call me and tell me she was sorry. What she did was beyond an apology but I really had no time or need for her or her words. With my concentration shot, I decided to go for a run. I laughed when my iPod played All-American Rejects; it was too perfect.

As my feet pounded on the pavement, I sang along in my head.

_That's right, go to hell, Bree._

**A/N: Hmm.. soo the adventures of Bella and her vibe continue. Do you have a funny vibe story? And Bree.. the nerve of her calling Edward.. how do you think he handled it? If you read the oneshot.. I think you know whats coming up in the next chapter... hehe**

**Soo.. your thoughts... let me hear them! See ya next week! *mwah***


	5. November Junior Year

**A/N: I am soo excited for this chapter.. becasue if you've read the one shot.. you kow whats coming next! *sigh* Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, faves and alerts. You make me soo happy!**

**To my lovely beta: Itlnbrt who makes hockeyward shine. To my pre-readers: fanfichardcore, CullensTwiMistress and JoJo757 your comments on each chapter make me laugh.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight just a need to see Edward play hockey! ENJOY!**

November Junior Year

**BPOV**

_Bonnie Tyler: Holding out for a Hero_

_Somewhere after midnight  
In my wildest fantasy  
Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's someone reaching back for me  
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat  
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet_

It appeared that hockey was a big fucking thing in Forks. Who would have figured that? I mean we didn't have months of snow and cold like in the Midwest. As far as I knew Washington didn't have a professional hockey team. But as November rolled around, Alice was giddy for hockey season to start. I was sure it had nothing to do with the fact that Jasper played. No, none at all.

She had already cornered me and made me promise to go to all the games with her. I agreed to it if only to get her off my back. I knew nothing of the game and from the snippets I caught on TV when Charlie watched it looked confusing and a bit brutal. It was nothing that I was remotely interested in.

So, it was with some trepidation and a small dose of boredom that I journeyed with Alice and Rose to the ice rink. Alice was wearing a Forks Hockey shirt that she had embroidered Jasper's number onto it. She had FHS in green paint on her cheek. I sported one as well, although, it wasn't by choice.

We were a few rows from ice level. I perused the rink and did some people watching. The student section we were in was filled with green and white shirts. I wasn't the only one sporting paint on my face. The arena was filling quickly and it surprised me that there was such a turnout. Rose explained that most of the town showed up for home games. Seeing as it was the first game of the season, the atmosphere was buzzing with excitement.

I was wondering how long a hockey game would last as all I wanted was to go home and sleep, when the students began to boo. The opposing team had come out on the ice to begin warming up. Alice informed me that we were playing Sequim. They supposedly knocked us out of the playoffs last season so there was some bad blood between the two teams.

Just then our Spartans came out onto the ice and my friends stood up with everyone else hooting and hollering. I stood only because I didn't want to seem like I didn't support my school. When the last player walked onto the ice, I watched them warm up. I would have to say I was impressed. Maybe there was more to hockey than I first thought.

Just the way they could skate was impressive, but then I watched them handle their sticks and the little black puck thing, I was mesmerized. I was fascinated by it all; these kids had some serious skills. Just then my eyes were drawn to a Forks player standing by the glass nearest us when another player came skating up. He flipped off his helmet and I stopped breathing.

_Oh, my fucking god, who is that gorgeous creature?_

He had a strong profile, hard jaw, straight nose, high cheekbones. His hair was the craziest shade of bronze, copper maybe. It was hard to tell, his helmet had flattened his hair and the sweat he had worked up made it look darker. When he turned more towards us I saw that he had the most stunning green eyes and a lopsided smirk that was cocky and sexy.

I shifted slightly in my seat unsure of the dull ache that now resided between my thighs. If I moved in just the right way, the friction from my jeans was almost pleasurable. Holy shit! I was turned on by a complete stranger. My eyes hungrily devoured the sight of him, taking in the casual way he moved his skates back and forth on the ice and the absolute ease in which he projected himself. The back of his jersey read CULLEN with the number 13 blazoned in black lettering.

Suddenly, I was roused from my blatant eye fuck of a guy named Cullen when Alice jerked my arm to get my attention.

"Spacing out there, Bella?"

Of course I blushed, certain that she knew what I was staring at. If she did, I would be mortified.

"Um, yeah a little. Kinda tired. What did ya want?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go get something to eat before the game started."

"Umm, sure that would be fine."

We went to grab hot dogs and drinks and made it back to our seats in time for the start of the game. I, of course, bought a game program so I could learn a bit more about Mr. Cullen. The rest of the night I never took my eyes off of him. It didn't matter if he was on or off the ice; my eyes were glued to his every movement. From the program I learned his name was Edward Cullen and he was a junior at Forks and I was a bit surprised I never saw him in school. Was it possible that I had overlooked this amazing creature? It felt like blasphemy.

The way home I thought long and hard about my reaction to him. It was all so new and uncertain. I felt a bit crazy that I could be turned on by a complete stranger. But I knew that is what was happening to me. The one time I went to the bathroom, I realized my panties were wet. I was aroused, turned on, horny all because of some insanely sexy kid.

But it also gave me confidence. I kind of liked the feeling of my heart pounding, my pulse racing and my faster breathing. So, when I got home, I raced upstairs, locked the door to my room and got out the vibe. Some primal instinct in me told me this time it would be different.

The first touch on my clit had me moaning. Experimentally, I moved the vibe all around my pussy, searching for what made me feel good. Just like my friends taught me. I liked it better when it was more in the middle and when I pushed it in, just a little bit, my eyes rolled back. I felt fluttering feelings in my stomach and when I moved the tip back and forth over my clit they grew stronger.

I found that one side felt better than the other and as I moved it around the feelings in my body grew stronger to the point when I felt as if I was strung on a very tight rope. My other hand moved restlessly over my body which felt very sensitive. When I grazed my nipple, I felt a direct connection to my pussy. A low whimper escaped.

I moved the vibe directly over my clit and pushed down hard. My backed arched and my whole body stiffened as I screamed out, while I was hit with my very first orgasm. I ground the vibe harder on my clit and felt the pulses of my orgasm lengthen. My body shook with the intense waves that rocked my body. Never had I felt anything remotely close to the sensations that were coursing through my body. My body trembled with little aftershocks and I could feel my pussy as it still pulsed.

When I finally calmed down, a goofy, silly smile broke out across my face. I understood why Alice and Rose made such a fuss. Orgasms fucking rocked! I stretched my body, feeling satisfied and a little worn out. I snuggled deep into my covers with my last thoughts being of a green-eyed hockey player.

By Monday morning, I was a bit obsessed by Edward. I was insanely curious about him and why I hadn't seen him around. So like the weirdo I was, I looked for him in school. I knew he wasn't in any of my classes, so I took new routes to my classes to see if could spot him. I had no such luck. I wanted to ask Alice and Rose, but I worried that they would go a bit crazy if they knew I was showing any interest in a boy. Plus I had no idea what to make of my new found obsession. Maybe it wouldn't be as intense a few days removed from seeing him.

By lunch I had worked myself into a huge frenzy. I was sure that I dreamt up Edward and everything that happened afterwards. My eyes darted all over the place, trying, in vain to catch a glimpse of him. I had just sat down at our usual table when out of the corner of my eye I saw something coppery. I swung my head around and there he was. He was standing with Jasper in the lunch line and immediately, my clit started to throb. He was even more perfect close up.

Without the jersey, pads, and other equipment I was able to appreciate his tall, lean and slightly lanky build. The ease he had on the ice was just as present off. His face was still as angular and chiseled. But his hair, it was sexy and cute as fuck. It was a messy array of auburn, bronze and light brown. I watched his strong hands as they ran through his hair and I swear I swallowed a moan.

My eyes were glued on his every movement, as he walked from the lunch line to a table. I kept him in my line of sight as I ate lunch. The entire lunch period I was rubbing my thighs together in a sad attempt for friction for my throbbing clit. I had no shame, it seemed.

That reaction to Edward puzzled me. It seemed so out of character for me. I mean, hello, I barely noticed boys before. To me they were loud, obnoxious and kind of smelly. But now, with Edward, it was like my hormones kicked in. Now, I saw the sexiness of his jaw, or how adorable it was when he ran his hands through his hair.

Could it be that my long dormant sexual awareness was waking up? No longer was I to be the sexually repressed girl. Instead, I had taken my first steps towards being a sex crazed teen girl. If so, could I get a shout out or a 'hell yeah'! Because it was about fucking time.

Over the next several weeks, I went to another home game and one that was held in Port Angeles. I started to learn about hockey. I understood the basic premise of the game and the positions of the players. I even watched a professional game when Charlie had it on. He looked at me strangely when I asked questions. But he answered them all. By the time I went to bed, I was sure Charlie was worried I was ill or something as I told him it was a good game to watch.

I even got the nerve up to ask Rose and Alice about Edward and how come I hadn't seen him around prior to that first game. They of course laughed at me, but they dropped some tasty nuggets of information about him.

"So, why do you want to know about Edward anyways?" asked Alice as she was touching up the paint on her nails.

I gave her a shrug, even though she couldn't see, "Dunno. Just I never saw him until the hockey game and I'm curious. For such a small school, ya think I would have seen him before."

I gave myself a mental pat on the back for my quick thinking.

"He was hiding out for a while. He had a nasty break up over the summer. I think his girlfriend cheated on him. So he laid low for a while. He concentrated on getting ready for hockey."

I worked hard to project calm at Rose's words, but inside I was seething. The idea that some other bimbo actually cheated on him, was repugnant. I mean, hello, did she not see how good looking he was? Why cheat on him? Made no sense to me.

"He's a cool guy. Hangs out with Jasper a lot. I am sure that he will be snatched up by some girl soon. Guys like Edward don't stay alone and single for very long."

My stomach dropped at Rose's words. But I knew how true they were. Edward was gorgeous. Any girl would be lucky to be seen with him. I knew there wasn't much to me that would attract him. Or at least I didn't think I had much to attract him. Hell, I wasn't even sure that I wanted him to notice me. But there were sure parts of me that noticed him. Anytime he was even in the vicinity of my body, nipples got hard and my panties got wet. Everything I was feeling was so new and so fucking confusing.

I longed to talk to Alice and Rose, but there was this little insecure voice deep inside that wanted me to figure this out on my own. Until I had a better handle on the crazy inner workings of my mind and my body, I was on my own.

Of course, it didn't help my confusion when at night my vibe and I were best friends. I would replay my favorite moments of the day that featured Edward and they would help curb whatever ache I had in my crotch.

Once the distraction was taken care of, it allowed me time to ponder my fascination with Edward. Problem was, I had no clue why or how it started. It was like an instant attraction to him. Some gut level reaction to the sight of him. On some level it was an understandable reaction, Edward Cullen was straight up hot. But did that explain why he was always on my mind?

If I took a look at how Alice and Rose act, then I was on par with someone who is attracted to another. It was just my pheromones reacting to his on a basic biological level. It was nothing more than science. But that didn't explain how in a few short weeks I was able to discern his schedule and my sudden interest in all things hockey. I couldn't blame that on pheromones.

So what was it that had me all in a tizzy when it came to Edward?

**EPOV**

_Survivor: Eye of the Tiger_

_It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight_

_Risin' up to the challenge of our rival _

_And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night_

_And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger_

My eyes went from the bench to the clock hovering over the ice to the action on the ice. Over and over my eyes made the trek as the last thirty seconds were counted down in my tripping penalty. The coach had already signaled that I was to stay on the ice. It made sense, as my penalty came only a few seconds into my shift.

I was antsy to get back on the ice. We were down by one goal, and there was less than ten minutes left in the third period. We were riding high on the first two wins of the season and we were all itching to make it three. But this was Olympia. They were the reigning state champs for our division, and they played a tough game.

The penalty box dude stood up and got ready to open the door when my time was up. My mind was going a million miles a minute. I could hear the opposing team goalie slapping his stick on the ice letting his team know the penalty was up. I was watching, as my team held on for a few more seconds until I could join them.

The door was opened, and I shot onto the ice. I immediately went to provide some back-up and to get the puck out of our zone and down to the other end of the ice. Two of my teammates were battling in the corner for control of the puck and I positioned myself high on the blue line hoping for a long pass. As the puck got freed, I worked to keep myself and a passing lane open. Jasper was scanning the ice and when he saw me, he flicked the puck to me and I corralled it on the rebound from the boards.

I propelled myself as fast as I could. I had only one defender to beat as the other had lost an edge and fell down. I was quickly joined on the other wing by Peter and we had a slick two-on-one going. The defender was leaning toward Peter as he was the bigger and stronger player. He was also our top scorer last year as well. But that was last year. This year I planned to be number one now.

Peter passed it back to me but the defender stayed tight to him, he edged closer to block any further passes. I made a move to look like I was going to try and thread the pass between his legs and when both the defender and the goalie bought it; I flicked a quick wrist shot towards the net. The goalie realized his error and tried to throw out his glove but he was too late. The light went off and the ref signaled goal.

I threw my hand in the air and in seconds I was surrounded by my teammates pounding me on my head, and my back, there were even a few butt slaps as well. I skated over to my bench and slapped hands with my other teammates before I slipped over the boards and let the next line out.

We ended up tying the game, which all things considered, wasn't too fucking bad. I'd take it because when all was said and done, it wasn't a loss. Which was fine by me.

A few days later I realized being back out in the general population of school wasn't nearly as horrible as I thought it was. Almost everyone knew I was no longer with Bree and the scuttlebutt about how and why we broke up had pretty much died down. I was thankful for that. There was still a part of me that was hurt that she cheated on me. Oh well, she's a fucking bitch in my mind.

I dragged my sorry ass into the locker room to change for gym when I heard Newton's irritating little voice spouting shit off.

"She was totally checking me out between classes. I think she's into me."

I rolled my eyes that any girl would be into Newton, he was a complete fucktard.

"Who was checking you out?" asked Ben.

"Bella, of course. I want to wrap her brown hair around my hand and pound her from behind." I heard raucous laughter and I could guarantee that Mike was trying to imitate fucking a girl from behind. I hid my laughter because I was pretty sure he's a virgin and he wouldn't know what to do with a pussy if one fell on his dick.

I briefly wondered if the girl he is talking about is the new chick in the school. I heard from my parents that the Chief's teenage daughter was coming to live with him. She wasn't in any of my classes and even though I was out mingling with the school crowd, I wasn't paying attention to the chicks. It didn't really matter who she was, all I was concerned about the hockey. Plus, I think I needed to lay off the brunettes, they reminded me too much of Bree.

**A/N: Ohh Obsessella is born! And she got her first O! Aww.. *sniff* she's growing up! Hockey season is upon us! Plus, Edward has heard Bella's name.. but it was from Mike... he may be disinterested for now... but.. maybe later!**

**Please leave me your thoughts... but please sign in so I can respond. I got a lot of guest reviews for the last chapter and it bummed me out I couldn't reply! Until next week! Toodles!**


	6. December Junior Year

**A/N: Hey there! Sorry this is a bit late in coming today. I have been feeling like crap, summer colds are running through my house and we are all pretty sick! I want to say thanks to all who alerted, faved and reviewed this story... you all make me smile!**

**Love to Itlnbrt, my awesome beta and to my kick butt pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress, fanfichardcore and JoJo757! You ladies rock my world!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters, I do own a pile of snotty kleenex! ENJOY!**

December Junior Year

BPOV

_Animotion: Obsesion_

_My fantasy has turned to madness _  
_And all my goodness _  
_Has turned to badness _  
_My need to possess you _  
_Has consumed my soul _  
_My life is trembling _  
_I have no control_

Did ya ever have the feeling that your world has spun wildly out of control and you had no idea where the brakes are located? I was all too familiar with those sensations. It was how I was feeling since I laid eyes on Edward Cullen. There were days when I didn't recognize myself or my actions.

Case in point there was the day when I finally nailed down Edward's class schedule and I found a perverse pleasure in knowing where he was. It wasn't as if I would go and track him down to start a conversation with him. But I got it in my brain that I wanted to know what classes he had and when. Don't try and dissect my reasoning's. I tried and nothing held up. I think I was just pure crazy.

I had liked to say the craziness stopped there, but no, I went much further. See there was also this wonderful thing I made that I dubbed the Edward Book. It started all so innocently. There was a beautiful picture of Edward in the sports section of the paper. It seemed wrong to throw it away. So I cut it out. Of course the article that went along with it was pretty flattering and framed his picture so well, so I cut that out as well.

Well, it snowballed from there and since then I have cut out every picture of his that has appeared in any paper, be it the school or local one. I even went so far as to cut out his picture and accompanying information sheet from the game programs. With all those precious scraps of paper, I needed a place to put them all. So, I went to a craft store in Port Angeles and bought myself a scrapbook.

So, every little nugget of information I had ever gleamed about him was in that book. A copy of his schedule was in there as well as some observations I made about him. Like the fact he was right handed, the color and brand of car he drove as well as the license plate number. I even had a little blurb about Bree in there. Alice and Rose dished the good on her. All I can say is that if she ever crossed my path, that bitch had better watch out.

I found myself fascinated by everything that had to do with him. I wanted to know more about him as a person, not just as the personal sex god he was in my dreams. He left me feeling out of sorts, confused, aroused and flustered. Part of me hated it. Hated that I was this simpering, boy crazed teenage girl. But then I would see his bright green eyes, my heart would race and my panties would instantly become damp. I was hopeless and so fucking far gone. So I just went with it. I mean, why the fuck not.

But there was a pretty cool side effect to this new sexual awakening I was experiencing. Confidence. Confidence in me and in who I was. I was a woman, hear me roar or some shit like that. Rose once told me that women could get men to do just about anything if we wielded our sexual prowess. I wasn't sure if I had prowess, but the fuck awesome feelings I got after giving myself an orgasm left me feeling pretty powerful.

I'd like to say that my craziness about Edward ended with the book and the slight stalking I did of him at school. But shamefully I couldn't, because it went even further. But in my defense, I really blamed Alice. It all started one morning a few weeks before the Christmas break. Alice had come up to Rose and me bounding like a little puppy with her eyes all aglow.

"You get laid?" asked Rose as she eyed Alice rather excitable face.

Alice's response was just a hip check to us both and a wink. She continued on her merry way into school leaving me and Rose slack jawed with surprise. Never would Alice not dish on whatever made her look like she had a glowworm up her snatch. Luckily for me I was able to corner her after class in the bathroom.

"Alice, spill your little pixie guts. NOW!" I even bitch browed her.

She took a deep breath. "I spent some time with Jasper. I mean it was only for our assignment in History, but still, it was time, alone, with him! I even got to catch the tail end of hockey practice and seeing him on the ice was pretty sexy."

I'm sure she went on to talk about what it was like being alone with Jasper even if all they did was schoolwork. I couldn't be sure, because all of my thought processes were hanging on her inadvertent nugget of information, hockey practice. She watched the team's hockey practice. For the rest of the day all I could think about was watching as Edward glided across the ice or standing tall and firing puck after puck at the net.

One would think that this information wouldn't catch me off guard. It's not as if they just got on the ice and knew how to play hockey. Like any other sport, it took practice. But because it took place away from school grounds it was like a case of out of sight out of mind. It just never occurred to me to find out where he practiced.

That night my dreams were filled with erotic images of Edward and me overlapping with hockey. Weird and very arousing at the same time. It also made sure that I woke up pretty frustrated and horny. I was able to take care of that in the shower, but the images from my dream wouldn't leave me alone.

I wasn't really sure how the knowledge that Mike was the student manager for the hockey team reached my awareness. All I knew was that I was made aware of it and the second I was, the plans in my head were going full steam ahead. My newest obsession was getting to watch Edward during practice. I could have asked my besties for help but I was trying to keep my borderline stalker-ish tendencies from my friends. Once again, I was on my own.

I'm sure if they were to have helped me, the plan would have had more class. But I didn't care about class, just a single-minded determination to get close to Edward, by any means possible. The tricky part of the hare-brained idea that I cooked up, was that I had to get Mike back into my good graces. After Em and Jazz scared him off earlier in the school year, he carefully kept his distance. It was then I decided to see if Rose was right. It was time to see if I wielded any sexual power whatsoever.

As luck would have it, I was able to get Mike alone after school. I had to make a pit stop at the library and he was coming out of the gym. Again, by pure luck, we ran into each other. Bags and papers went flying as we collided in a tangle of arms and legs.

"Shit, so sorry Bella. I didn't see you." He started to work on collecting the scattered papers.

"It's ok, Mike." I gave him a wide smile and a quick toss of my hair. His eyes grew wide and he gulped as he looked at me. "Here, let me help you."

In silence we worked on collecting the mess from the floor. It was time to put my plan into motion. So, I made sure to touch his hand a few times and I smiled whenever he looked my way. I had no idea if I was getting to him or not. Out of the corner of my eye one of the papers in my hand caught my attention. When I looked at it, I saw it was a stats page for the hockey team.

I held it up to him, "Oh wow you're with the hockey team?" I made my voice all excited about the idea that he was with the team and I threw in a shy smile.

Mike's chest puffed out with importance and he gave me a huge smirk. "Yea, I'm the student manager. I'm in pretty tight with the team."

I acted all impressed and excited about this information. "Oh, wow. That is so cool. So, what do you do for the team?" I twirled a small section of my hair around my finger and shyly bit my lip.

His eyes were transfixed on my lips and internally I did a little fist pump. Slowly I licked my lips and watched as he swallowed and his eyes went wide. I handed him some more papers. That time I made sure my entire hand made contact. Mike began to tremble.

_This was so fucking easy!_

"W-well, I help out a-a-at practice," he finally managed to stutter out. I drew his attention back up to my eyes. It was starting to creep me out the way he looked at me. He must have seen something on my face that encouraged him to continue.

"I help keep stats and help out with the equipment as well." He threw a beaming smile my way. I wanted to vomit.

"Oh that sounds cool." I gave him a huge smile. "It would be interesting to see you in action."

Inwardly I cringed at my words, praying that he didn't take them the wrong way.

"Would you like to come with me and hang out during practice?"

_Yes! Pay dirt._

"Umm, I don't want to get you in any trouble or anything."

He waved me off with a shrug. "You'd be with me. It's fine."

I repressed the shudder that threatened to erupt at the thought of being with Mike. I mean, seriously, he was no Edward. Not by a long shot.

"Well then, count me in. I can't wait." I gave him another smile and we finished with the last of the papers.

"There is a practice in ten minutes, we can go now."

I had to remind myself not to shout yes right away. Instead, I waited a second or two pretending to think about it. What I was really thinking about was whether I could ditch him once we got there. I would have to play it by ear.

"Sure, I would love to. I'll follow you." There was no way I was relying on him and his piece of shit Toyota to take me anywhere.

"Great. Meet outside in like five minutes?"

I nodded and headed out to my car. The entire drive over there, my mind was going a million miles a minute. I really didn't want to spend the entire time with Mike glued to my side. I wanted to watch Edward practice, maybe sneak into the locker room, see his stuff. I knew it would come off all stalker-ish, but really, it wasn't. I was just curious, that's all.

When we arrived, Mike took me on a tour of the bottom of the arena. I saw where the zamboni was kept; he brought me to the scorekeeper's box, which was real cool. My eyes were glued onto the ice where the coach was running them through skating drills. All too soon, Mike pulled me away from the ice to show me where the locker rooms were. Now we were getting somewhere.

First, he showed me the visiting team room. It was painted a drab brown and had a real funky odor. It smelled like sweat and sour milk. My nose wrinkled at the scent.

"Where's our locker room?" I asked with as much innocence as I could muster. He got this weird look in his eyes and I immediately started to run through self-defense moves in my head. You know, just in case he got handsy.

"Follow me," he replied and we walked across the hallway and through another set of doors.

This was a bit more spacious. Right as you enter there was a small waiting area, it had a table and a few chairs. Once you got past that, the main locker room veered off to the right while the coach's office was on the left. In the main locker room, lockers spanned the entire back wall of the room. There was a single bench that ran the length of the room and was situated in front of the lockers. The short wall held a white board with a representation of the ice surface on it, I was sure this was where plays were mapped out. The wall opposite the lockers housed several glassed in display cases, where various trophies were housed.

I heard Mike shuffling behind me; reluctantly I turned around to face him.

"Um, I need to do some stuff. I can walk you back out to the arena to watch the practice." He eyed me as if I was a piece of meat and I wanted to junk punch him.

"Is it okay if I look around for a bit? I promise I won't touch anything?" I looked at him shyly in the hopes that it looked like I was flirting with him. I even added in a lip bite for good measure.

He nodded, "S-sure. "

"Thanks, Mike!" I smiled at him as I walked away leaving him behind. When I heard the door to the locker room close, I breathed out in relief. I nosed around the room, taking in everything when I spotted the Holy Grail, Edward's locker. I walked up to it slowly, taking in everything. From the sight of his pants hanging up, to his open hockey bag, heck even some balled up socks made me smile.

I was just reaching out to touch his shirt when I heard a noise. I feared that I would get caught so I scampered out and back up rink side. I watched the practice for a few a while until I heard Mike calling for me.

"Hey, there you are. I was wondering if you wanted to go get a bite to eat."

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes, but just barely. "Thanks for the offer, but no can do. I have lots of homework. See you later and thanks for the tour." I walked away before he had time to call out to me.

When I got home, even more treasures awaited me; my books from Amazon had arrived. Shortly after my first hockey game I went onto Amazon to order a few books on the subject. I ran them up to my room, knowing that I wouldn't be able to start them until later. Back downstairs I flipped to ESPN to see that a game was on. Curious, I left it on as I started to work on dinner.

When Charlie came home about thirty minutes later, he was very surprised to see the game on, but even more so to see me on the couch.

"Um, Bella, are you okay? Why are you watching hockey?" I heard concern in his voice, but I didn't have much time to address it, Chicago was on a 3-on-5 power play and it was fucking exciting. When they scored with about five seconds left in the power play, I jumped up in excitement.

"Did ya see that Dad? It was wicked cool!" His only answer was a wide open mouth and a look of astonishment. The timer dinged and I went into the kitchen to pull out the casserole I made.

"Seriously, Bella, when did you start to watch hockey?" Charlie's voice was a bit squeaky, so I tore my eyes away from the game.

I gave him a shrug. I knew that I couldn't tell him it was because of a boy. But I knew I had to tell him something. So I went with a half assed version of the truth. "Going to all the games with Alice and Rose made it kinda interesting. Is that wrong?"

He didn't reply for a few minutes as he searched me for something; fever, alien invasion, or brain transplant. "No, it isn't wrong. Just unusual for you."

Another shrug was all I gave him. "We could watch it together."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Charlie smiled and nodded.

A few days later and it was the last practice before Christmas break and I was freaking out. I was facing close to two weeks with no Edward sightings. I had heard through the grapevine that he was going to Chicago for a few days over the break so my plan to try and run into him was a no go.

So, when I found myself back at the arena the Wednesday before break started, I knew I was a bit insane to consider what I was thinking. I tried to rationalize that is was to keep me from stalking Edward to the point where my dad would have to arrest me. But I knew deep inside I just wanted a piece of Edward with me.

With all the stealth I could muster, I snuck into the locker room as they skated on the ice. With a grace I never knew I possessed I crept to Edward's locker. There I spotted two t-shirts. Both of them were Forks Hockey shirts. I grabbed the grey one and brought it to my nose.

Edward's scent assaulted my senses and I knew I had found gold. Before I had time to grow a conscious, I stuffed it into my purse and went back to the arena to watch the end of practice. I hid in the shadows as they skated up and down the ice, going over drill after drill.

When at last the coach called a stop to practice I watched in silent admiration as Edward stayed on the ice. He grabbed a bucket of pucks, skated to the top of the circle, dumped the pucks and rapidly fired pucks at the net. His dedication to his sport surprised me. It was just one more piece in the puzzle of Edward that I was slowly putting together.

EPOV

_John Parr: St. Elmo's Fire_

_Burnin' up_  
_Don't know just how far that I can go_  
_(Just how far I go)_  
_Soon be home_  
_Only just a few miles down the road_  
_I can make it_  
_I know I can_  
_You broke the boy in me_  
_But you won't break the man_

I slammed my locker shut and saw Jessica Stanley as she stood next to me looking like a waste of space. Her too bright lips curved to form a smile but it looked weird to me.

"Hey there, Edward. What ya doing?" her voice was nasally and I wondered if she had a cold. If so, I needed to keep her germs far away from me. I didn't have time to get sick.

"Putting books in my locker." I didn't bother saying anything more. If I actually spoke to her it would have made her believe that I was interested. There was no way I was interested in Jessica. I was certain she had a standing order for penicillin at the pharmacy.

She started to twirl her too blond hair while she batted eyes at me. I swear I saw huge chunks of mascara flake off.

"So, there is gonna be, like, a party at my house after the game this week. I want you to come." She thrust out her chest to show me her cleavage. I stopped the eye roll that wanted to bust out.

"Sorry, no can do. Leaving bright and early to head to Chicago." Never was I so excited to be heading back to Chicago.

She continued to bat her eyes at me and then pouted. "That sucks. Well, maybe we can hang when you get back. Ya know, just the two of us." She slinked closer and ran a fake nail down my arm. I had an urge to scrub my body with disinfectant. "Bree was stupid to cheat on you. I won't, you know."

Words momentarily escaped me as her words rolled around in my head. The need to vomit rose and I swallowed nervously. I moved my arm away from her and leaned back while taking a half step backwards.

"No, thanks. Not interested, Jess."

Quick like a snake she had her talons on my arm. "I would be good to you, Edward. Keep you satisfied." She licked her lips and continued with the funky eye batting thing.

I twisted my arm away from her, "Sorry, not gonna happen." I moved away from her and called over my shoulder. "You may want get that eye twitch looked at, or wear less were mascara."

I saw her scowl as I turned away from her and made my way to the lunch room. A bunch of guys from the team were already eating when I made my way to them with my tray.

"What took you so long, Cullen?" asked our goalie Matt.

A visible shudder coursed through me. "I got sidetracked by a hockey whore. Tried to ask me out."

"Who was it?" asked Jasper.

"Stanley." A snicker ran through the group.

We all knew she was the worst of the worst. There was a small group of girls that followed the athletes. During football season we called them the floozies, and in the spring during baseball they were the bimbos. They made their rounds looking for someone to latch onto. I was positive they thought we were their ticket out of Forks. It wasn't as if most of us would ever play beyond the college level. Hell, most of the players would never get far. So, I was still perplexed about their motives. I just stayed far away from them.

Days later I found myself lost in the rhythmic motions of shooting pucks after practice. There was something calming to me in the motions, wind up, flick wrist, and let it fly. Most of the time, I never look to see if the puck went in. I just liked to work on my movements. I honed them to the point that they were automatic and fluid.

Since I had a game the next day; I limited my extra after practice activities. When I finally made it into the locker room I wished I would had stayed out longer. Newton was there helping the equipment manager gather up shit to check and fix. But it was the smirk on his face that I wanted to punch.

"Heard that Jess wants you. Trying to take Bree's place, I see."

I rolled my eyes at him as I made my way to my locker. I stripped down to my t-shirt and compression shorts. I wiped down my skates as Mike kept spouting off about Jessica and me being the next big thing at Forks High.

"Mike, back the fuck off. I wouldn't wet my dick in Stanley if she was the last pussy on earth. But, hey, you are welcome to sample her. I am sure she wouldn't mind slumming it with a non- athlete."

"Fuck you, Cullen." He threw me a scowl before he ducked tail out of the locker room.

I snickered at his lame ass come back, what a fuck-wad. I turned back to my locker and rummaged around for my clothes.

_Now where in the fuck was my grey t-shirt?_

**A/N: Ohhh... Bella is getting gutsy! What do you all think?**

**See ya next week! *mwah***


	7. January Junior Year

**A/N: Ok.. can I just say that you guys are a freaking TRIP! The way you are all over Bella and her.. umm stalker-ish tendancies.. I love it! I heart you all.. hard! This marks the first time that Edward gets the main POV.. and that means hockey and lots of it! There will be a glossary of terms at the end of the chapter...**

**Ohh before I forget.. when I posted the last chapter.. I forgot to add the lyrics.. I have added them now.. check it out!**

**To my lovely beta- Itlnbrt... ohh girl... words alone can't express how greatful I am that you are there for me.. *mwah* To my lovely pre-readers: JoJo757. fanfichardcore and CullensTwiMistress- you ladie smake me laugh with your support and funny commentary on each chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.. *whispers* and I don't want to.. my Edward and Bella are way cooler! *winks* ENJOY!**

January Junior Year

**EPOV**

_Soulfly- Bleed_

_I got my pride and that's all I need_  
_I'll make you bleed with another blow without the radio _  
_Don't take advantage of this process _  
_You might have to digest a blade made for your ass to fade _  
_I'm living on instinct _  
_Never think when I'm rushin bones crushin _  
_When I put your sorry ass in a package _  
_You piece of shit sealed and delivered from a savage _  
_And now you sweat because you're goin down _  
_You envious clown fuckin bleed_

"The new season starts this week boys. What you did before doesn't mean anything. Now is the time to dig deep and show everyone what you got. We never made it this far last year, let's see if we can get further."

Coach's voice dragged on in the video room as the light dimmed, and he started to break down our opponent for the upcoming game in the first round of the playoffs. I tuned him out. It wasn't that I thought I didn't need to prepare it's just that, I didn't need to listen to his babble. My focus was on the screen as we broke down their offense and defense.

As coach droned on about something, I was busy writing down information about a few of their defensemen who liked to play with some wide-open lanes. Quickly, I jotted down some things that could be tried to open the ice even more if they were going to play the zones loose.

We were playing Olympia in the first round. They had made it to the quarterfinals last year and had six seniors returning. They were strong skaters and from the film I was seeing, they beat their opponent by simply being able to last longer. For me, that would be something easy to overcome. I was in the best condition of my life and I had no doubts I could skate with them.

As coach played the film of their goalie, I scribbled down how he had a fast glove, but he was a tad slower with his blocker. He had good lateral movement, but his butterfly was sloppy and he never made it all the way down. I shook my head at that. If you were going to be a goalie worth anything, you had better have the flexibility required.

I became alert as the coach started to map out some plays that we were going to be practicing. I was scribbling notes, when I heard my name.

"Cullen, they are going to try and keep #44 on you all game. He's a fast skater, but lacks good stick handling. You need to work on out maneuvering him. Plus, with the goalies fast glove, we are going to need your slap shot to be on target."

"Will do, Coach," I replied and tried to hide my smirk. It was all shit I already knew. He gave me a terse nod and went back to the board filling it with X's and dashes.

I was ready for this and I wanted it to be game time already. I could feel that this year was going to be different. Less than twenty minutes later and coach released us to get our gear on and head out to the ice.

"You've got fifteen minutes to suit up boys."

As I sat on the bench lacing up my skates, I relayed everything that I noticed about the defense to Jasper as he busied himself with his pads.

"I saw almost every play, Jazz. One likes to play tight to the boards, and the other more towards the middle. Now, if they were fast skaters…"

"They could cover the gaps quickly." He nodded his eyes thoughtful. "So, I assume they are not fast, so what do they do? I can't imagine their coach would let them go on like that if they didn't have the speed."

"One of them, #56, has speed, and tends to play the middle, but he is a hack and doesn't play aggressive. He relies on his speed too much. If you can beat him with speed, or get him going the wrong way, it's just you versus the goalie. He tends to rely a little on his partner to come and provide some pinching in, but I bet you could take him out."

He sat next to me and started on his skates, "So, you want to practice getting them going in two different directions, maybe even splitting the D. Plus if we could get to the blocker side, we have a fighting chance."

This was why I loved to play with Jasper; he got what I was thinking. It came from years of playing with each other from the streets on roller blades and a street net, and to the frozen pond behind my house when we got the urge to skate. We practiced and made up our own plays. I could feel where Jasper was if he was on the ice with me, he was an extension of my own body. It was rare we weren't on the ice at the same time.

"Exactly. Ready to go?"

He nodded and we headed out to the ice.

A week later and it was game day. The school was in a tizzy. There was a sea of green and white wherever I looked. People I never knew were coming up to me to wish me good luck. I had to admit that I loved it all. I didn't mind the attention I was getting. Okay, so maybe that was a lie, I hated that the hoes were out in full force.

I had to shake my head in disbelief when I saw how they massacred a hockey jersey. In the dead of winter they cut it up to make it a midriff and skin tight to boot. A few even had my number painted on their stomachs. It was enough to make me want to vomit. To make matters worse Jess tried a few times to corner me and offer me a good luck kiss. I tried to be polite as I declined her but all the hairspray she used must have killed off brain cells which made her comprehension a little slow.

I was walking outside the library when Jess literally came out of thin air, which only supported my belief that she was some evil troll. She invaded my personal space so violently that I stumbled backwards in my haste to get some space between us.

"Hey, Edward." Her hands were twirling her overly bleached blond hair and fluttering her eyes heavy with mascara. "Big game coming up for you."

I wanted to tell her "duh" but figured if I didn't engage her, she may get the hint.

"I just know that you will do well. You are the best player on the team." She simpered at me and tried to look coy. It came out looking all cross-eyed. "I would love to give you a kiss for good luck." She slowly walked toward me, the look in her eyes was pure predatory.

My heart beat frantically trying to find a way to escape. With each step closer she took, I stepped back until my back hit a wall.

_How in the fuck do I get out of this?_

Jess smiled at me, and I just knew she was going to kiss me. I was seriously thinking that I may have to rethink my promise to never hit a girl when she spoke, "You want to kiss me?"

My eyelashes curled at her noxious breath and I said the first thing that came to mind, "No, not really. I don't know whose dick that mouth has been wrapped around, but I would like to stay disease free. Now back off, Jess."

Her face flushed with embarrassment, but I couldn't find it in me to care. She stumbled back and I used the small opening as my gateway to get the hell out of there. Once I was in another hallway, I stopped to catch my breath and shudder with the icky feelings of having Jess so close to me.

A day later the incident was far from my mind as I sat on the bench, chewing on my mouth guard. The crowd was loud and it was a sea of blue and white as we were playing on Olympia's home ice. There were pockets of green and white and chants of "Go Spartans" could be heard in sporadic bursts.

I looked up to see we had five minutes remaining in the second period and it was still tied with two goals apiece, one of them from me. Their goalie came into the game on a hot streak, but I could tell we had gotten to him with the two goals on his blocker side. He was now using his body to help compensate for his lack of quickness with his stick. I knew if we could wear him down we had a chance to pull out a win.

"Cullen, Whitlock, and Biers, next shift."

I nodded to the coach and waited for the puck to be controlled by us to facilitate a shift change. We were in their zone, peppering the goal with pucks, and in a moment of frustration one of their d-men flung the puck down ice for an automatic icing call. The whistle was blown and our o-line skated to the bench, bumped gloves with us three, and we took off onto the ice.

As we skated around, waiting for the signal that they were going to drop the puck, I talked to both Jazz and Riley. I told them to try getting the goalie moving around and make him think that we were going stick side.

"If we can get him moving and deke him to his stick, he will want to bring most of his body there. Then we can quick pass and hope to have a fairly open net." Both nodded as the ref blew the whistle and Riley squared off to take the puck.

The puck dropped and I moved the defender out of the way and waited for Riley to pull it back to me, but the forward he was facing off against, slipped his stick I between Riley's skates and yanked causing Riley to fall, hard.

The whistle blew and the signal for penalty was giving. The ref escorted the Olympia player to the penalty box while Jasper and I checked on Riley who was still down on the ice. The look of pain on his face was evident.

"Fuck, my ankle, need Doc, Cullen." I looked over to our bench and motioned for Doc, our trainer. Jazz was half way over to the bench to help him cross the ice without falling. When he reached Riley he asked for space and we backed up, creating a circle around him, keeping the Olympia players away.

What felt like hours, but in reality was only minutes, Doc called us over.

"Help me take him to the bench boys." Our d-men took our sticks and we helped Riley up, he held his right leg up. He placed his arms around our shoulders and we slowly moved him to the bench while soft clapping filled the arena along with the clicks of our team's sticks against the boards.

I was pissed. Riley was a great player. Our line had great chemistry and we had scored a majority of the goals this season. I tried to catch Doc's eye to get a read on the extent of Riley's injury, but he was busy focusing on Riley. Once at the bench, a few other players took him from us and helped him down the tunnel and into the locker room. I watched as he slowly made his way down the tunnel.

Coach's voice broke thru the red haze that was starting to seep into my mind.

"Huddle up boys. We can't let what just happened to Riley cause us to lose our focus. We have two minutes to inflict real damage where it counts." Then he pointed up to the giant scoreboard. "There is where we can hurt them, by getting a goal. We use this power play to our advantage and we have the upper hand, not them."

He then turned his penetrating blue eyes to me, "Head in the game, Cullen. Do what you do best, which is scoring. Don't go for blood on the ice, make them bleed by scoring."

The red haze ebbed away with his words. He was right. Now wasn't the time to be stupid. This was the playoffs; it was time to play smart, play our game our way. I nodded to let him know that I heard him. He pulled out his little white board and started talking strategy and plays.

"Craig, you're with Cullen's line. Get out there boys."

Craig joined us and we just looked at each other, our intent was written in each other's eyes, we were going to make the next two minutes count.

We went out and did just that. We kept the puck in the offensive zone for most of the power play and with thirty seconds left, Jasper tapped in a screen shot just under the goalies legs. The Forks fans went nuts and the Olympia fans grew hushed. A few ticks later and the horn blew for the end of the second period.

In the locker room coach was waiting and so was Riley, in his warm ups and his ankle heavily bandaged. We all looked to coach who told us it was likely he had a high ankle sprain. Several eyes closed and faces grimaced. Riley was most likely out for the remainder of the playoffs. The look on his face was thunderous, I couldn't blame him. I would be too. This was his senior year and no one wanted to watch your team win from the bench. The coach spoke, but I couldn't tell you what he said. All I could think about was how fucking unfair this was and how badly I wanted to stick a loss to these Olympian punks.

Fire burned in my veins and determination steeled my nerves and resolve, we were going to win this game if it was the last motherfucking thing I ever did. We got the warning that there was five minutes left in intermission, coach wrapped up his speech, but I made my way to Riley.

"I will get the win, Ri, I promise you that." I tapped his head and made my way out to the ice. This was my show.

Twenty minutes later we had the win and I had my second ever hat trick. The guys piled all around me as the horn ended the game. Our equipment littered the ice along with more hats that rained down from the stands. But all I could do was fight my way over to Riley. He was on the bench with his crutches screaming for us.

When I made it over to him, he pulled me in close. "Thank you, Cullen." The emotion was thick in his voice. I gripped him tight.

"Just doing my duty."

He clapped me on the back and we pulled apart. He shoved me away, "Go celebrate Mr. Hat Trick." The smile on his face was genuine, and I skated back to the organized chaos going on behind me. It felt good to finally have something to celebrate.

A few days later, the celebration was over and I was knee deep in studying. Finals for the semester were coming up and with all the extra hockey practices, I had to study whenever I had a free moment or two. Right now, I was busy brushing up on the circulatory system for Biology and failing miserably.

My concentration was shit, I constantly worried about our upcoming game with Queets. I was obsessively watching game film and my inability to find a single weakness to exploit had me extremely worried. Even the way coach acted during practice alluded to the fact that going into this game we were the underdogs.

As if that wasn't enough, I had been having the feeling of being watched lately. I swore during one of my extra practice sessions I saw someone in the bleachers. But when I looked again, there was no one there. It had left me feeling paranoid and just a little creeped out. The truly fucked up thing was that I felt that way all the time. So much so that I asked Alec, the zamboni guy, if anyone was hanging out in the stands.

"Don't think so, Edward, but I'll go take a look around for you."

"Thanks man, I appreciate it. I am sure I am on edge due to the Queets game." I tried to give him a smile, but I was sure it came out all wonky.

He waved me off and went to take a look around. I didn't see him before I left the rink so I never thought anything more of it until I got to my locker and it looked as if someone had rummaged around in it.

My tired and over active brain started thinking up all sorts of scenarios in which someone would jump out from the showers and start hacking up my body. I tried to ignore the rising fear I felt and took an inventory of my locker. My street clothes were in my bag which was still closed, the undershirt I changed out of after coach called an end to our practice was still hanging up, but it was on the wrong peg. I knew I had it on the first one, as it would get better air and hopefully dry out faster.

After a few minutes I realized I was missing a pair of socks and a towel that I used to wipe sweat with during practice. After the feeling of violation slithered down my spine, my very next thought was how nasty it was that someone took used socks and a disgusting sweat soaked towel.

Instantly my thoughts turned to the fact that it looked like I had a stalker, one who appeared mentally imbalanced enough to want some of my foulest smelling stuff. Of course automatically I surmised that Jess was behind it all. She was stalking me not only at school, but she has now followed me to practices and sneaking into the locker room and stealing my stuff. I began to wonder if I had enough evidence for a restraining order and whether I should talk to Chief Swan.

My phone broke me from my internal panic attack. Snatching it from the shelf in my locker, I answered it gruffly.

"What?"

"Dude, what crawled up your ass and died?" Retorted Jasper.

"Sorry man, I…" My brain scrambled to come up with a suitable excuse for my surly tone. "I'm just on edge about the game. Sorry. What did you want?"

"I thought we had a study session planned for tonight and was wondering where you were?"

I looked at my watch sitting on the shelf in my locker; I had been sitting here contemplating Jess as my stalker for over thirty minutes. "Oh shit, Jazz I'm sorry. I guess I got wrapped up in my extra reps after practice. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"It's okay, see you in a few."

I ended the call and shook myself out of my crazy little funk. I needed to keep my head in the game and eye on the prize. We had the second round of the playoffs next week and I couldn't afford to be sidetracked, even if I had a psycho stalker. I would just have to hope they waited till after the playoffs to hack me up.

**BPOV**

_Rihanna- S.O.S. (Rescue Me)_

_I'm obsessive when just one thought of you comes up_  
_And I'm aggressive just one thought of close enough_  
_You got me stressing, incessantly pressing the issue_  
_'Cause every moment gone you know I miss you_  
_I'm the question and you're of course the answer_  
_Just hold me close boy 'cause I'm your tiny dancer_  
_You make me shaken up, never mistaken_  
_But I can't control myself, got me calling out for help_

A few weeks after Mike showed me around the rink, I realized one little problem with my stellar plan to stalk… er… watch Edward.

Mike.

He took my flirting and attention as an invitation to glue himself to my side. I had taken to bolting from classrooms in order to avoid him. But soon that wasn't working as well as I hoped. I tried to be distant and ignore him. Either he was a glutton for punishment or he was a few crayons short of a full box, and he just didn't get the clue that I didn't want him hanging around me.

I was so desperate, I had even considered going and asking for Jasper and Emmett's help. But I quickly discarded that idea because I feared that they would find out I encouraged Mike by seeking him out. So I was on my own once again. It was getting pretty tiring keeping all this shit away from my friends. But, as my luck would have it, they managed to help me out, even if it was indirectly.

I listened to Rose talking about how she laid the verbal smack down on a sophomore boy who thought he could get a little fresh with her and pinch her ass.

"I gave that little twerp the evil eye and I got all up in his personal space and told him in no uncertain terms that he better learn to keep his hands to himself, because the next time he tries to touch me I'll be getting all up in his junk and not in a good way." She then made a squeezing motion with her hand and the message was clear. She would squeeze his nuts until they'd burst.

Alice was high fiving Rose as I questioned her, "Wasn't that a little harsh, Rose? I mean, I am sure he didn't mean anything by it."

Both Alice and Rose looked at me as if I had sprouted two heads with horns.

"That's not the point, Bella. If we let little snot nosed boys get away with that shit now, they will think that they have the right to touch us and give a little pinch here or a grope there as they get older. I will not encourage any boy getting all up in my space unless I want him there." Her eyes flashed in fierceness. I admired her self confidence and self-assuredness.

Alice stood next to her nodding her head emphatically. "She's right, Bella. If we don't set boundaries and let boys know we won't allow them to manhandle us, they will just keep at it."

"Ok, I get that." And I did, because it made sense, "But couldn't you have done it nicer?"

Rose shrugged. "Maybe, but it got the point across the first time. He won't cross me again." Her voice held no apology for her actions.

"Sometimes nice doesn't always work Bella and you need to be a little more forceful." Alice's tone held no smidgen of concern or remorse.

Maybe they were onto something. I had tried to be nice with Mike, letting him know that his attentions were not welcome. Obviously he hadn't gotten the messages I was sending. So, maybe it was time for me to get forceful.

I didn't have long to wait for him to attempt another move on me. Unfortunately, for him I think he picked a really bad day to approach me. I was dealing with a migraine that wouldn't go away and I was starting to get my period so I had cramps on top of it all. I was feeling crappy.

So when I saw him outside my math class a dull roar of frustration built up as he sauntered over to me. He flashed a smile I was sure most girls would giggle over; I just wanted to punch out his teeth. I prayed that he wouldn't speak, but there was no higher power listening.

"What's up, Bells?" he asked as he hip checked me. The tiny trolls that were beating on steel drums in my head rattled around so much it made my teeth ache.

I whirled to face him, and I got all up in his face. "What the fuck, Newton? Get away from me. Can't ya take a hint? LEAVE. ME. ALONE!" I seethed as my breaths came out in little pants.

Mike's eyes went wide in confusion then a smarmy smile slowly spread across his face, "What's your damage, Bella?" He even had the nerve to roll his eyes at me as if I was joking around. The idea that he didn't take me seriously pissed me off.

"My damage is that you can't take a hint to save your life. While I have been ignoring your pathetic attempts to talk to me and ask me out you've been following after me like a lost puppy." My voice had gone shrill and was laced with heavy sarcasm. I looked him over from head to toe with a sneer curling my lip, "I mean there is nothing about you that remotely turns me on."

With that said I gave him an honest to goodness hair flip, turned on my heel, and walked with purpose away from him and the crowd of onlookers that witnessed my little verbal assault. I noticed a few appreciative glances and my ego inflated just a little bit.

_Oh yeah, I am all woman now. Now I need an Advil._

A few days later found me back at the rink. Coach had just called an end to regular practice and I was waiting anxiously for Edward to re-emerge back onto the ice. I was trying to make my way closer to the ice so I could be closer to him as he practiced when he walked out of the tunnel and glided smoothly onto the ice.

My eyes were glued to the perfect rhythm of his movements; the way he pushed off with ease, the sure-footed way he did his crossovers, and turns and the sounds of his blades on the ice. It was all magic to me. He went through his familiar routine and I just sat entranced.

After he had been on the ice for a while, I had the urge to check out his locker and I hastily made my way down to the locker room. As I was rounding the corner to the door way that would take me to the locker room I ran into a very hard body.

Large, warm hands reached out to steady me and kept me from falling.

"Whoa, little lady." I looked up at the deep voice to find an older gentleman with twinkling blue eyes and wavy brown hair.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," I mumbled, my heart was racing a million miles a minute. I wasn't sure if it was okay for me to still be in here.

He laughed, "It's okay. I'm just surprised to see you. Although, Edward thought he saw someone in the stands."

My blood turned to ice with the realization that Edward had possibly seen me. "I was just leaving. Sorry, I stayed. I like to watch the team practice and I was surprised to see someone come back out. I got curious." The lie slipped surprisingly easy through my lips.

The man waved me off. "No big deal. The doors aren't even locked. I'm Alec, one of the rink managers." He held out his hand.

"I'm Bella," I told him as I shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."

**A/N: Hockey Glossary:**

**Butterfly- It's when a goalie goes down to the ice with their lower legs spread to cover more of the goal area- forces shooters to aim higer**

**Splitting the D- A move in which an offensive player literally goes between 2 defensive players and is able to get past them**

**Icing- When a team on defense shoots the puck all the from their end of the ice to the other end. In High School hockey this is an automatic call..in the NHL, they can race for the puck.**

**O- Line- Offensive line consisting of a forward and two wingers**

**Deke-A fake out**

**Screen Play- When a player is in front of the goalie creating a screen- its hard for the goalie to see where the puck is coming from.**

**Hat trick- When one player scores three goals in a game. It is then traditionally followed by spectators throwing their hats onto the ice when the 3rd goal is scored..its kinda cool...**

**Ok... so.. what did ya think? Don't ya just love hockey aggressive Edward? Grrr**

**And now Bella and Alec have met... It's a start of a beautiful friendship! *winks***

**And Bella putting Mike in his place.. BOOYA!**

**Ok.. now.. write in that box *points down* let me hear it!**

**Until next week! *mwah***


	8. February Junior Year

**A/N: Hey all! I have to say that I love you all. Your reviews over Bella and the stinky socks made me snicker! Yes.. she is straddling that crazy line! I told ya she would... and people.. you have seen NOTHING yet!**

**I want to give a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY shout out to one of my fabulous readers sholtsclaw! This one is for you sweets!**

**To my fabulous beta, Itlnbrt, who I love inspite of all the red on my chapters.. I am sure I'll learn a thing or two! To my team of pre-readers: fanfichardcore, JoJo757 and CullensTwiMistress- you ladies make me smile with all your comments. I slipped in a Might Ducks reference in this chapter... can you spot it!?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just a count down calendar to hockey season! ENJOY!**

February Junior Year

**EPOV**

_Breaking Benjamin- Blow Me Away_

_There's nothing left_  
_So save your breath_  
_Lying in wait_  
_(Caught inside this tidal wave)_  
_Your cover's blown_  
_No where to go_  
_Holding your fate_  
_(Loaded I will walk alone)_

I stormed into the locker room, ripped my helmet off, and flung it to parts unknown.

"Fuck!" I wanted to throw something else, or break something, anything to let loose this torrent of anger built inside me.

"Motherfucker!" I threw my gloves and let loose a scream of frustration. This just couldn't be happening to me. It was complete and utter bullshit.

I had never gotten a five-minute major penalty. NEVER! Elbowing… my ass! How in the hell was I supposed to be throwing an elbow when I was shooting a goddamned puck?

Without thinking, I slammed my fists onto the wall next to the lockers. Then I kicked the table that held the white board coach used to draw up plays. The loud crash it made as it tumbled down satisfied me for mere seconds before the rage drained away leaving me feel tired and disappointed.

I should have known better. The refs had been making bullshit calls all night. But for me to be called on elbowing with less than four minutes left in a tied playoff game, it was inexcusable. Even when deep down, I knew I hadn't done it.

My attention was hyper focused on the offensive play we were trying to run. We had James down low, screening the goalie, while a Queets defensive player was trying to clear him out. Jasper and I were passing the puck around, trying to set up a shot. I just received a pass from Ben, when James had the perfect block on the goalie and he moved too far over looking for the puck.

I knew it was the best shot I was going to get. My hope was that if my shot didn't go in, James could tap in any rebounds that may bounce his way. I remember drawing back my arm to let loose a wrist shot when I felt the hard impact of my arm hitting something. My arm completed its automatic follow through even though the impact messed up my ability to send the puck in the direction I wanted it to go.

Simultaneously, several things happened, a whistle blew, the goal lights flashed, and the goal judge was waving off the point. I turned to look behind me and the ref was making the motion for an elbowing penalty. When he pointed to me and made it again, I was fucking flabbergasted.

I looked at him, incredulously. There was no way in hell he just called me for an elbow. I could hear my coach screaming at the ref as he went over to the player that was down on the ice. When I looked down and saw blood trickling down, the pit of my stomach gave out.

"Number 13, green team, five minutes for elbowing."

A line judge plucked at my jersey and started to lead me towards the penalty box. The ref caught his attention, motioned to the time, and pointed to the bench.

"Send him to the locker room. Less than five left in the game."

I yanked my arm away from the line ref, "I need to talk to my coach." The ref nodded, and I skated over while the crowd screamed at me. Coach was screaming at the ref over the lousy call.

"He was shooting the damn puck; he never once looked back behind him! It was incidental contact and you know it, Aberman."

"Coach, I swear I never saw him there, I was focusing on the screen." I implored to the coach.

He looked at me briefly, "I know, Cullen. That's what I'm trying to make the zebra understand." He pegged the head ref with a scathing glare.

"The other player is bleeding, and I saw the elbow hit the face. It's a clear cut penalty." The ref gave an unapologetic shrug. "Send your player to the locker room coach." With that he skated off. I heard coach utter 'jackass' under his breath.

"Sorry, Cullen. You better head back." He gave me a look that told me he knew how I felt and then turned to face the rest of the team. "Huddle up boys, we have some work head of us."

As I came out of my shower, I heard the rest of the team, since there were no shouts of joy I knew right away we lost. Never had I felt so low and like a failure. The feeling of letting my team down churned within me, and I didn't want to face them. But it was the least I could do; they deserved to express how much I failed them.

As I walked in, the coach was talking about how much we had accomplished and that we should be proud of how far we made it. Empty and useless words wasted on the graduating players. A few noticed me entering the room and gave me nods of acknowledgement. Not once did I see condemnation or censure in their eyes. As coach wrapped up his speech and the rest of the team began to clean up, I finished dressing.

Jasper was sitting by his locker, putting his equipment away. The silence hung heavy between us, making me feel uncomfortable.

I made to speak, when Jasper cut me off. "Stop it, Cullen. It's not your fault. Everyone and I mean _everyone_ knows it was a bogus call. So stop beating yourself up. You didn't let the team down. We just got beat by a better team. End of story."

He looked up at me then, his blues eyes peering deep into soul, making me see the truth of his words. I knew he was right. There was nothing I could do. The crappy refs railroaded me and as a result we lost the game.

I gave him a terse nod and he held my gaze for a few seconds, looking to see if I was being honest with him. Satisfied with what he saw, he nodded back and went back to cleaning up. The heavy air around us dissipated and I could breathe deeply once more.

The silver lining of us not making it out of the second round of playoffs was that I had more time to study for the finals that were upon us. So I threw myself into studying, as it gave me a way to avoid almost everyone. I just kept my face in my books and ignored the outside world.

By the time our short little mid-winter break came, I was more than ready for some mindless fun. Luckily, Jasper was more than willing to indulge me as he was trying to escape the female invasion over at his house. His sister, Rose had her friends over and they were driving him crazy.

"Seriously, Edward, count your lucky stars that you are an only child. The smells in my house are noxious." He shuddered and I laughed at him.

"How bad can it be?" I kept my focus on the Grand Theft Auto game we were playing.

"Dude, they are painting nails, mud masks, which are scary as fuck, hair tinting, and all kinds of other shit. Makes me glad I'm a guy." He then reached down to adjust his dick. For a brief second I wondered if he did that to remind himself that he still had one.

"But you should have seen Bella's face as I was leaving. She must had thought I was already gone because she was singing at the top of her lungs, with this nasty green mud mask on, waving her hands, and trying to do this duck dance thing. She screamed when she noticed I was watching her and fell to the floor."

As he was telling me that, he was imitating the moves he saw her doing, wildly waving his arms over his head, and dancing while on the heels of his foot. I motioned to his feet, "Why was she dancing like that?"

He plopped down next to me and picked up his game remote, "Some weird toe spacer thing on her feet. I think she had polish on them."

Then a strange thought occurred to me. "Who is Bella?" It seemed strange that he knew someone that I didn't.

Jasper gave me a weird side eyed look. "Duh, Bella, Bella Swan. The Chief's daughter, moved here late in the summer? How can you not know her?"

I shrugged. "I never had any classes with her and never ran into her. I guess that's how."

He thought about that for a moment, "Yeah, makes sense. She's nice, quiet, and keeps to herself. She isn't like the hoes, that's for sure. You'd like her."

I sniggered internally at that. There was no way I wanted to get involved with another girl, they were still more trouble than they were worth in my book. To get us off that line of thinking I punched his arm and made him focus on the game.

"Come on slacker, let's annihilate those losers from La Push." We put our game headsets on and engaged in full out war and all talk about girls was soon forgotten.

A few blissfully lazy days later and mid-winter break was over and school was back in swing. With it being the first day of a new semester, we had all new classes. My homeroom teacher had just handed me my new schedule when I felt my phone vibrate.

I snuck a glance, as the teacher was busy, to see that it was Emmett.

**Man, I have math first period. Isn't that cruel and unusual? **

I chuckled at his hate of math.

_**Bright side, you get it out of the way first thing. **_

I scanned my schedule to see that I had Spanish first period, I rolled my eyes, I'd rather have math. Another cursory glance at my schedule tells me that the rest of my classes were just fine, so I started another round of Angry Birds.

Second period I had History with Jasper, who told me all about Emmett's whining all through Math. All I could do was shake my head and chuckle. I compared schedules with Jasper to find that we had lunch together, but that was it.

"Kinda sucks, man. But I think that you have gym with Emmett," he said to me as he put his schedule away.

"That's good. What about his lunch, he with us?"

Jasper nodded, "Yeah, we got the same lunch." Just then, the teacher started the class and I focused on what was being said.

As I entered the room for English, I noticed that Jess and Tanya were both in the class. They smiled and tried to motion me to the empty chair that was next to them. I repressed a shudder at the idea of enduring months of sitting next to either one of them. There was no telling what kind of diseases I would catch from being in such close proximity to them.

I hastily scanned the room only to find two empty seats was one up front, which I passed on and one that was next to a small brunette. I looked back at Jess and Tanya who looked at me eagerly and I promptly sat next to the brunette.

I looked at her from the corner of my eye and wondered if she was the Bella that Jasper mentioned. I was going to introduce myself, when the teacher began roll call. I only had to wait a minute or two, but when I heard Bella Swan called out and she raised her hand, I knew I was right.

The class began with an overview of the first couple of weeks of class, which would be focused on Shakespeare and his sonnets then moving into his plays, starting with Romeo and Juliet. Most of the males, myself included, groaned at that announcement. I heard Jess' enthusiastic giggling and couldn't help but notice that Bella had a small smile going as well. Before anarchy could break out in class, we were directed to the handouts on the sonnets that were being passed out, and I gave the tragic love story no further thought.

I made it through the first half of my classes unscathed. But it should have come as no surprise when Emmett plopped down his food-laden tray still complaining that he had Math in the morning.

"Dude, stop your bitching. I have Spanish, wanna trade?" I asked him as I shoveled in some fries. Em whipped his head back and forth so fast I worried it would spin right off.

"No way," he breathed.

I snickered to myself. If there was something Emmett hated worse than Math, it was Spanish. All talk of classes ended as Riley and a few other hockey boys sat down. Soon the table was loud and full of smack talk. As I watched Riley, Emmett, and Tyler as they had a heated discussion about the latest level of Assassin's Creed, I noticed that Jasper kept looking over at another table.

When I glanced to where he was sneaking glances, I realized he was looking over at a table filled with girls. I kicked his foot under the table and tipped my head over to the girls.

"So, who ya looking at?" I gave him a wink to tell him that I wasn't going to razz him too hard about it.

"No one," he mumbled while looking down at his tray. Of course, he tried to be all stealthy and steal another glance, but failed miserably.

Figuring I would have to draw it out of him, I turned to look at who was all sitting there. There was Rose and I knew he wasn't looking at her. Next to her was Angela, but I ruled her out; she was too mousey for Jazz. Sitting next to her was Bella. I paused at her, really looking at her.

She had long, wavy brown hair. I knew from sitting next to her, she wasn't all that tall. She had a nice smile and from over here, I could hear her laugh, which wasn't annoying or irritating. She didn't fawn all over me in class. In fact she kinda ignored me. Which was different. It could be that he was looking at her, but I wasn't sure.

Lastly, there was Alice. Like most of the kids in this town, we all grew up knowing each other. Alice was a bubbly little thing that always seemed to be hopped up on speed. She was cute, I guess, in a way. She didn't have warts or misshaped body parts, which was a plus.

Carefully, I watched Jasper and when I heard Alice laugh, he turned his head, ever so slightly towards her.

_Bingo!_

"It's Alice, isn't it Jasper?" I kept my voice soft as to keep others at the table from listening in.

He gave me a short nod. He lifted his eyes and I gave him an encouraging smile. I nodded over toward her and then mouthed, "_What's the deal?"_

He shrugged. The bell sounded and it saved him from having to explain anything else. I watched as he gave one last lingering gaze over at their table. I just had to say something. He was my best friend.

"If you like her tell her, you've got nothing to lose." With that, I clapped him on the back and made my way to Biology.

As I walked in the door, I was greeted by Mr. Banner. "Nice to have you in my class, Mr. Cullen."

I smiled. "Pleasure is all mine, Sir." I started to look at the room, to pick my seat, when Mr. Banner spoke up.

"I am doing assigned seating this semester. You're first row, third table back." He motioned to where I was to sit.

I was a bit surprised that he was assigning seats, but shrugged it off. The table was empty when I arrived and I wondered if it was too much to ask that I didn't have a lab partner. I had no problems doing all the work by myself. It beat having someone sponge off me.

So focused on the drawing I was doodling in the margins of my notebook, that the scrape of the chair made me flinch in surprise.

"Holy shit, you scared me!" I stated as I looked to see who made the noise.

"I am so sorry that I scared you." Came a soft voice.

I looked up to see that my partner was none other than Bella Swan. She was blushing furiously and chewing so hard on her lip I worried that she would tear it right off. Her eyes were wide and full surprise and concern.

"You okay?" Her eyes began a slow look over my body and when she looked up at me and caught me watching her, her blushed deepened. I never knew someone could blush that much.

I waved her off. "No blood, no foul." Knowing my mother would beat me senseless if I didn't use some manners. I gave her my trademark smile, as I formally introduced myself. "We've never met before. I'm Edward Cullen. Nice to meet you."

"Bella Swan. Nice to meet you, too." She gave me a gentle smile. A few awkward silent moments passed while we waited for class to begin. I was in the motion of turning in my seat to face forward, when Bella unleashed a word vomit unlike I had ever witnessed.

"I have to say that losing that playoff game sucked. I mean, the penalty was so fucking bogus, a blind man could have seen it. I felt so bad for you, well for the whole team really. My dad was so pissed at the refs he was spitting nails, and it was kinda funny to see that."

Her hands were gesturing all over the place and her face light up with a strange sort of animation. I wanted to ignore her and her word vomit, but it kind of had me entranced and I couldn't look away.

"I bet you were pissed. I know I would have been. I mean, what a way to lose a game. But I hope you know that you shouldn't feel bad, it wasn't your fault. You were a victim of shoddy play calling. I even defended you when I overheard Austin trying to pin the loss on your shoulders."

She shook her dark brown hair as she recounted her valiant defense of me.

"I even told him that Queets was a tough team and that their power play percentage was ranked in the top five of the state. That's some impressive firepower to overcome. Plus, you were our best penalty killer, so that horrible call was bound to be the game breaker. People really need to look up their facts when trying to hold a discussion. I mean, does he know nothing of hockey."

Mr. Banner called the class to order and like a switch her word vomit ended and she faced the front of the classroom. It was at that moment I knew three things.

Bella knew hockey, she was weird, and she was unlike any girl I had ever known.

**BPOV**

_Adele- Chasing Pavememts_

_Should I give up,_  
_Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?_  
_Even if it leads nowhere_  
_Or would it be a waste_  
_Even if I knew my place_  
_Should I leave it there_  
_Should I give up,_  
_Or should I just keep chasin' pavements_  
_Even if it leads nowhere_

I'm not sure where I got the crazy idea that seeing and being close to Edward everyday would lessen the pull I felt toward him. It didn't, it only made it worse. In both classes, I sat next to him. Close enough to know that he smelled fucking amazing, that he had long fingers I dreamed about, and lips that I wanted to kiss.

So I would plead temporary insanity when it came to Edward. His nearness did things to my body and my brain. I was scrambled, frazzled, and it only fueled my obsession with him. So much so that I started scheming to find ways to see him more. Two classes and lunch wasn't nearly enough time to be in his presence.

So it was with that in mind that I decided to capitalize on Alice's infatuation with Jasper. In my lust addled brain I surmised that if Alice and Jasper got together, Edward would hang with us. It made perfect sense to me.

One night when I was staying the night at her house because Charlie had the night shift, I broached the topic of Jasper.

"Alice, can I ask you a question?" I whispered as we lay in her huge fluffy bed.

"You just did," she replied with a snort. I slapped her arm. "Smartass."

"Ask away."

I took a deep breath, "You like Jasper, right?" I knew the answer, I was just looking for confirmation.

There was a heavy silence for a few seconds. "Yes," she replied softly.

"Why don't you act on it? You like him, I know he likes you. What's stopping you?"

I felt her take a stuttering breath next to me. "Oh, Bella." She wrapped her skinny arms around me and I felt the wet drips of her tears.

I pulled us up to a sitting position and I held her tight, rocking her gently. I had no idea what was going on, but it didn't matter. Alice was in pain. Guilt that my selfish desires could have been the cause of her pain consumed me.

"Ali, tell me what's wrong, please." She sniffled a few times before she pulled away.

"I want him, so, so much. But…what…if…" She broke down again, and buried her head in my shoulder once more. But not before I saw her face etched with pain and longing.

"But what? You know that he likes you. Come on Alice, talk to me."

"I am worried that it will ruin everything." I had no clue what she meant so I replied with an intelligent, "Huh?"

"He's Rose's brother. What if we don't work out, then everything will be strained and I could lose him as a friend and Rose as well. It's just so fucking scary. It could change everything if we got together."

She looked up at me with fear in her eyes. Her grip on my arms was tight and bordered on painful. I could tell that this had been eating her up. The guilt kicked up another notch. I smoothed her hair trying to be comforting.

"Alice, honey. You can't worry about what might happen. I am sure that if you talked to Rose, she would understand."

"Do you really think so?" I could hear the hope in her voice, so I threw her the biggest life preserver I could.

"I do. Talk to her, hun." She sniffled and nodded her head as we burrowed back under the blankets and fell asleep.

A few days later, I was sitting with Rose outside of school, waiting for Alice to arrive. It was odd that she hadn't driven in with Rose, but when I asked her about it, she merely shrugged. She had no clue as to what was going on either.

We both got our answer when Jasper's car drove into the lot and when the passenger door opened Alice unfurled herself with a beaming smile. It grew bigger when Jasper twined their hands together and kissed her forehead.

Rose and I both "awed" at the same time. We watched as they walked into the school together, oblivious to the looks and stares they received. They made a very cute couple.

"So I take it that she talked to you?" I asked Rose as the door closed behind them.

She nodded. "Yeah. You should have seen her. She was shaking and crying. I thought she was trying to tell me she was dying." She shook her long blond hair and smiled. "When she finally spilled about Jasper, I busted out laughing. I couldn't help myself."

"Rose, it took a lot of guts for her to talk to you. She was worried sick over this."

She waved me off with a dismissive air. "Oh, I know."

"So what did you tell her? Because she took it to heart by this morning's display." My curiosity was running rampant, but I wasn't exactly sure why.

A soft smile graced Rose's face, as if she was remembering her conversation with Alice. "I simply told her that life was too short to live by "what-ifs". If she liked my brother as much as I thought she did, she should go for it. If and when there's ever a break up, we'll deal with it then. Until then, go after your heart's desire, otherwise why desire it?"

With that she rose and walked over to Emmett's jeep that had just parked. Me, I sat there, stunned, because in that moment, several thoughts crashed inside my brain. What in the hell was my obsession with Edward all about? Did I want to date him, become a couple? What was the point of all my scheming to get closer to him? What did I want to happen between us?

**A/N: Ohhh Bella is starting to ask questions! Did you ever have that WTF am I doing moment? We now have Edward and Bella in 2 classes and they have talked.. but I don't think she made a good first impression.. or did she? Would love to hear your thoughts. Until next week! *mwah***


	9. March Junior Year

**A/N: Hello all! I have to say that you guys blow me out of the water with all of your reviews and faves! THANK YOU! Really pay attention to the songs.. I think they give you huge clues to the chapter!**

**To my wonderful beta- Itlnbrt- who is patient and a great person! Plus she makes hockeyward look good! To my awesome pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress, fanfichardcore and JoJo757- your support makes my day!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own the idea of Edward on skates and Bella loving some smelling socks.. ENJOY!**

March Junior Year

BPOV

_Gloria Estefan- I See Your Smile_

_I, get a little tongue twisted  
Every time I talk to you  
When I see you  
And I'm so glad that you just missed it  
The way I stared to memorize your face  
To kiss you in my mind  
Love you all the time  
'cause when I close my eyes  
I still can see your smile_

The problem with self-reflection was that it didn't work unless you were honest with yourself. I wasn't quite prepared to be honest, just yet. It's a scary thing, honesty. It makes you look deep inside yourself to those dark, dank places you pretend don't exist. It forces you to take stock of your life and find room for improvement. In my case, it forced me to finally confront my obsession over Edward. Like I said it made me look at those dark, scary places.

Rose's words resonated far longer than I thought they would. They seemed to be the magical words that set Alice free, and allowed her to pursue Jasper. The happiness she exuded was blinding. I mean, Alice was a pretty happy person. But now, it shone out of her so brightly I had to wear sunglasses.

And that whole honesty thing, it made me admit that there was a small part of me that wanted what she had. Hell, even what Em and Rose had as well. For all the Lifetime movies and After School Specials about teenage love gone wrong, my friends were sure doing something right.

But the crux of my issue was did I want that with Edward? Or was my obsession nothing more than a fascination due in part of the awakening of my sexuality? I mean it was because of Edward that I now knew the way an orgasm could put a girl right to sleep. Or how images of him all-powerful and graceful on the ice had fueled more than a dozen fantasies. Edward woke up my vag, and for that I was grateful. He had made me into a normal girl.

But did that mean that I wanted to _be _with him? I wasn't so sure. Okay, so maybe I wasn't entirely sure what in the hell I wanted. So I Googled it. Well, I really Googled relationship advice. Let me tell you there was a boatload full of shit to wade through. After a few fruitless hours I gave up, and slammed my laptop shut.

So I went to logic. I knew a relationship couldn't just be based off the fact that Edward woke up my vagina. That was kind of one-sided. There had to be more. There was the fact that I found Edward insanely gorgeous. I couldn't also forget that he was a talented hockey player. I knew the basics about him, like about his family, his stats, and some of his favorite things. Okay, so maybe that part was a stretch. I only knew those things because the student paper did an article on him. When I lined it up like that, there wasn't much to build a relationship on. My stomach clenched at that thought.

I spent a few days watching Rose and Alice. It was obvious that mutual attraction was an important key. Emmett and Jasper looked at the girls with the same lovey-dovey look as they did them. But I could tell there was more. There was a sense of admiration and respect. They shared common likes and dislikes. But there was a balance between them as well. Jasper was calm where Alice was bouncy, and Emmett was tender where Rose was hard. There appeared to be no tried and true method to this relationship madness.

Because when I looked at others, I saw something different. Lauren hung all over Riley, simpered at everything he said. The gossip mills stated they were all about sex. Never did he place his hand on her lower back as they walked to class like Jasper did to Alice. Nor did Irina and Peter sit and whisper to each other, lost in their own little bubble like Em and Rose were prone to do. I wanted to say that those other couples were happy, but if they were, then why was Irina always looking at Craig or Scott when Peter wasn't looking?

The more I observed, the more confused I became, and I hated it. Like sex, there were no hard and fast rules to all this shit. Even my own parents were no help. Their marriage didn't last very long. Renee and Phil were so nauseating now that it was hard to even think about their relationship. To me they seemed such polar opposites, but it worked for them.

So for the time being I switched my focus from trying to find what made other relationships tick and gel and looked more at what I wanted. I was back to more of that dreaded self-evaluation. I was honest with myself in that my fascination with Edward at first had all been about the feelings he evoked in me.

They were new, crazy, and scary, and for once I felt like a normal girl and not a freak. So it was understandable that I would want to keep experiencing those feelings. But there had to be a point in which my feelings transformed from ones of gratefulness into something more. I had a deeper attraction to Edward, and it had morphed and grew to its current obsessive levels.

I realized I was obsessed with Edward, because honestly what did I really know about him? I didn't know enough about him to have any true feelings for him yet. So I needed to know more, it was simple logic. Of course this revelation happened during lunch when I was spacing out. My loud cry of "fuck me" drew curious stares from my table mates. One of whom was Edward. When I was suddenly faced with ten pairs of curious eyes, I could only mumble, "Figured out a math problem I was having trouble with."

I didn't wait to hear what they had to say. I flew out of the lunch room and out the front doors. I sat down on the low wall, my mind a whirling vortex of enlightenment. I had to look past Edward Cullen, demi-god, walking sex on a stick and the cause for making my kitty purr. I had to really _see _him as a person. To get to know him and what made him tick. There was a good chance that I wouldn't like what I found out.

I snorted out loud at that idea, as if that would ever happen. I shook my head free of those thoughts. I needed to go about this the right way if it was going to work. I wanted to see if I felt any other sort of attraction to Edward I had to set aside my overwhelming lust and desire for him and focus on other things.

And that is exactly what I did. Well, at least I tried at first. I kept getting distracted by his insanely good looks. It was hard to look past those piercing green eyes, or the way his lips looked after he licked them. Then there was the sound of his laughter, deep and melodious, that made my vag tingle just from the sound. Edward Cullen was an extremely distracting man.

But once I saw him with my mind and not my lust fueled vagina, I was pleasantly surprised. He was very intelligent as evident by his patience with me over a frustrating biology lab. Mr. Banner had us identifying the stages of mitosis from slides. I kept getting hung up on anaphase and prophase. To me they both looked the same. But Edward patiently showed me explaining how they differed from each other and key things to look for when identifying them. By the end of the lab I could correctly identify each slide. Even in English, he had some interesting ideas when we were breaking down Shakespeare's sonnets.

I overheard him helping Emmett in the library with math. I assumed that he had to have pretty decent grades to be able to help me and Emmett. So when I coupled that with the fact that he played hockey, well, I was impressed by not only his brains but also his dedication to working hard. Although, it shouldn't have surprised me, I mean his work ethic towards hockey should have clued me in.

I definitely found his brains to be sexy, so I marked that in the plus column. I didn't think I could be with someone who was stupid. The very idea of that made me shudder, so it was a good thing Edward had brains.

He had a great sense of humor. He was able to dish shit out as well as take it. Since Jasper and he liked rival professional hockey teams, they were constantly harping on each other about their respective teams. He and Em always seemed to be jiving each other about one thing or another. Mostly Edward gave him hell over being pussy whipped with Rose, although he was smart enough not to say that in front of Rose. Emmett was constantly ribbing him over his hair. I liked that he could laugh at himself, he didn't take stuff too seriously.

Once again another checkmark in the plus column. Things were looking good and I was getting excited.

I was very curious about his relationship with Bree, but talking about her was a huge no-no. From the bit of information I had I determined that they had been together for a while, at least in high school terms. The whispered bits I got from the skank brigade told me that he was faithful because none of them were able to sway him to have some fun with them on the side.

He was obviously very upset over Bree's cheating on him. I heard Jasper talking to Alice about how he refused to talk about her after it happened and just shut out the rest of the world. I found it funny that he was more upset about her cheating rather than the end of their relationship. But even though that had to hurt, he wasn't off being a man-whore either.

From what I could tell he hadn't dated nor randomly hooked up since then. But if Rose was to be believed, he wasn't a random hook up kind of guy. Hearing her say that made me admire him all that much more. All around me was evidence of how he was outside the norm in terms of relationships.

I was also starting to learn the little things about him from just talking to him. He had a secret desire to play professional hockey, but was trying to stay realistic about it. He knew what he wanted to study and was trying to get hockey recruiters from those colleges to come and watch him play. He was loyal to the Chicago Blackhawks and always tried to go see a game when he visited his Nana in Chicago.

He loved computer games to an almost obsessive level. I swear that at least one conversation per day with the other boys was about some game or another. His eyes got this excited, little boy look when he talked about a new game being released. While it bored me and the girls to tears, there was no mistaking his obvious glee about the subject.

But the most important thing I learned about him came in the most unusual way. I was walking to my class late because I had a dentist appointment in the morning and when I rounded the corner I saw Edward talking to this cute little freshman girl. I could tell she had been crying, as I could hear her sniffles. I was curious as to what was going on so I snuck closer and ducked underneath the stairwell. I had a pretty good view of Edward and the girl.

I held my breath as he began talking to her.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" His voice was soft and gentle.

The girl shook her head.

"I'm a good listener. I have found that it helps to talk when you're feeling low." She looked at him through tear soaked lashes.

"I-it's kinda emb-b-barassing." Her stuttered words were making my heart break.

Edward chuckled a little. "Well I've been there before. When I was a freshman my belt broke and my pants fell down in the hallway. I didn't want to come back." He then shrugged as to say "I survived."

Her eyes got huge as she listened to Edward tell his tale. "Really? That happened to you?" He nodded and I saw her mouth open in astonishment.

"My friend told this guy that I liked him and he laughed. I didn't want her to, but she didn't listen to me." She sounded so forlorn.

Edward had a thoughtful look on his face as he considered his words. The girl, whose name I finally remembered was Lucy, watched him carefully. I was sure she was waiting for him to ridicule or laugh at her.

"Sounds like your friend isn't a very good friend if she didn't listen to what you wanted. As for the guy, well, I can speak from experience, freshman boys are kinda stupid." She chuckled at him. His head bobbed rapidly. "They are. We still think girls have cooties." He turned to face her, "Forget about him. If he can't see how nice you are now, he never will. You don't need him."

As he spoke, Lucy absorbed each word as if it was gospel. By the end of his speech Lucy had a new determination in her eyes. Edward saw her transformation and smiled brightly. "There ya go, you just leave that dude in the dust. One day I promise you he'll come crawling to _you_!"

"Really?"

"For sure. You'll knock his socks off, I guarantee it." He looked around and I ducked back further into the shadows hoping that he didn't spy me. "But I think we both need to get to class. So I need you to do something for me."

Lucy eagerly nodded her head.

"I want you to hold your head up high, show him that he can't keep you down. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah," was her whispered reply. Edward gave her a mock stern glare.

"Fuck yeah!" She clamped her hand over her mouth when she swore. Edward just laughed.

"That's more like it!" He held her bag out to her. "What class do you have? I'll walk you."

"Spanish with Mrs. Goff." Edward simply nodded and started walking with Lucy.

When they had rounded the other corner, I sank down on the floor, trying to process what I just witnessed. He was so very kind and gentle to her. It blew me out of the water. He could have made fun of her, and added to her misery. But instead he took time to talk to her and cheer her up. He was sweet, honest, and funny. He treated Lucy like a real person with real emotions and never once made her feel less because of them.

If there was ever a doubt that there was more to Edward, it was erased right then and there. My heart ached at the tender way he treated her and it made my head spin with a need to hug the ever living shit out of him. There was so much more to Edward than I ever knew.

Before I delved any further into this new insight, the bell rang to signal the end of class. I ducked out of my little hidey hole and seamlessly joined the throng of students walking to their next class. My mind was buzzing over everything that I saw that I almost walked right past my classroom.

Luckily for me, Alice saw me and grabbed my shirt before I went too far. "Um, Bella, we are in here. Spacey much?"

"Oh, sorry Alice. Just have a lot on my mind that's all." She gave me a curious look and I gave her the best smile I could muster. I prayed she would just drop it; I wasn't ready to talk about what I witnessed, not just yet.

I spent the next week or so, still watching Edward, trying to figure out if he was too good to be true. Because knowing that he was smart, kind, sweet, and downright sexy, well it was a bit daunting. Not to mention that I felt he would be so far out of my league it wasn't even funny.

But after watching a person long enough, you'd start to see the less savory aspects of their character. Like Edward had an issue with chewing with his mouth full, which was gross depending on what he was eating. He also had the worst writing I had ever seen. I had to borrow his notes once and I spent more time deciphering them than using them for studying.

He also had this compulsion to tap his pencil during English; I had many a thought about snapping his pencil in two. But that was nothing over his insane need to always let us know when he needs to use the bathroom. Especially when we were in the lunchroom. He'd always say, "laters, dude, I gotta take a leak." As if I gave a flying fuck.

But even with all that, I couldn't deny that Edward Cullen was the full package, the real fucking deal. Thoughts of being with him, having him act sweet and tender with me had my body zinging with that familiar hum. Wondering how his lips would feel pressed up against mine made my panties wet.

But I couldn't shake the little thoughts that maybe I wasn't his type. From what I gathered, Bree was pretty, well-liked and obviously knew her way around a penis. I wasn't like her. I had no sexual experience, I mean… fuck… I had only just started to masturbate and I was sure I was in the minor leagues at that. I had no clue what type of woman Edward went for and I sure in hell didn't know if I fit the bill.

"Ya know your constant staring at him is kinda pathetic Bella." Jessica's whiny nasally voice jackhammered through my rather intense musings.

Of course it took me a split second to realize that I had been caught staring at Edward and not by someone I cared to have that information. My mind raced frantically trying to figure out how to respond to her.

Luckily, in some ways, Jess took care of my predicament. "It's not as if he would ever notice you. You're not his type. You're too…" she paused as her eyes raked over me. I felt violated in a hundred different ways and none of them felt good.

She gave off a smirk that looked half evil and half like she was constipated. "You're just not woman enough for him."

Anger at her words flared hot and fast and my mouth moved before my brain figured it out.

"What's that supposed to mean? You don't even know me!" I had the sudden urge to get violent, but I pushed it down; instead I gave her a proper sneer.

She sniffed and turned her nose up at me. "You're mousey, not really pretty and you've got virgin written on your forehead." I resisted the urge to scrub my forehead with my hands. "Edward needs a girl with experience and looks."

She moved away from me but before she got more than a few steps she turned back to hurl one last insult. "You know what they say Bella, some people got it, other people don't. I am sure you know which one you are." She cackled as she walked away.

I snuck a glance over where I last saw Edward across the library, but he was gone. I slumped in my chair, Jess' words rolled around far more than I wanted them to. I couldn't help but wonder if I was even close to the girls he dated. Was I pretty enough and enough of a woman to keep a man like Edward?

But more importantly, did I have what it took to make him notice me, or was I just another face in the crowd?

EPOV

_Daughtry- Crashed_

_Well, I was moving at the speed of sound _

_Head spinning, couldn't find my way around and _

_Didn't know that I was going down, yeah, yeah _

_Where I've been, well, it's all a blur _

_What I was looking for, I'm not sure _

_Too late and didn't see you coming, yeah, yeah_

Ever had one of those moments where you think something or someone is too good to be true? Most times I would chalk it up to not being real and moved along. But I found that I was having a hard time doing that with Bella. She was unlike any girl I had ever known and I had no idea how to deal with that.

It was more than she knew hockey enough to have intelligent conversations, or that she was smart and wasn't afraid of me knowing it. She seemed to be a decent human being, and I knew that Alice and Rose liked hanging around her. So that was all good in my book. The unbelievable part was that she treated me like a person, not Edward Cullen, hockey star of Forks High.

It wasn't as if I didn't like the attention for my hockey skills, it was that I felt that there was more to me than hockey. I didn't think many people gave much thought to the amount of time and energy it took me to balance hockey and schoolwork to the point that I carried a pretty decent GPA. No one except Bella. She was the first one to notice and compliment me on it. I had no clue how to respond to that.

At times, with the way that she joked and kidded around with Jasper and Emmett, you'd think she was just another one of the boys. But then I would swear that I saw her look at me with this weird look. Like she wanted to eat me. But then I would blink and it would be gone. So I was never really sure.

Like, this one time, we were discussing the recent Blackhawks loss to Detroit, a team that I loathe with every fiber of my being. We were locked in a heated discussion about the disallowed goal in the second period. She was passionate, hands were wildly gesturing, it was a remarkable sight.

"I thought you were a Blackhawks fan, Bella. How could say that there was contact? It was a pretty clear-cut goal. Or did ya defect to the Wings?"

For a brief second I thought I saw fear or maybe confusion in her eyes. Her brow furrowed, like she had to make a fast choice and when she finally looked at me, it was almost like what I saw on the hoes, the desire to please me. But just as fast as it was there, it was gone.

She shook her hair and the familiar scent of vanilla and strawberries surrounded me. "I can still be a Hawks fan, but admit when the refs made a good call, even when that call goes against my team."

The emphasis she placed on my team seemed laced with hidden meaning, but before I could speak, Emmett cut in. "Enough of the hockey talk, the Hawks lost Edward, move on."

The conversation changed, but I watched Bella out of the corner of my eyes, she seemed nervous, and didn't look my way once. I scratched my head as I had no idea what to make of her behavior. If she was just another one of the hockey whores, I would know she wanted me, or more specifically, she wanted my dick.

But Bella was a complete enigma to me. If this was what most guys had to deal with when it came to girls, no wonder they were a frustrated mess. I was still undecided as to how I felt about her. She was the first girl I could relax around and I kind of liked it. It felt weird having a girl as a friend. I mean, yeah, there was Alice and Rose, but I never really talked to them like I talked to Bella. There seemed to be something that felt like it connected with Bella. But then again, I wasn't really sure what I felt; everything just seemed new and weird.

Of course a few weeks later, I still had no clue how I felt. Although, that could have been because I brushed it all away. I didn't really need the hassle of girls and relationships. Plus, why would I want to ruin a good friendship when there was no need. She treated me no differently than she treated Em and Jazz. To her, we were like her brothers. But then, that very idea made me feel squicky.

But one day, everything got more muddled than it already was. It started in English and it was our turn to do our little scene. We had gotten stuck with Romeo and Juliet, but we opted to be different. Instead of the infamous balcony scene, we picked the scene just after they were married, when they had spent the night in Juliet's room.

Things were going good, Juliet was whining that she didn't want Romeo to leave just yet; Romeo was being all dramatic and swoony. It was all very straightforward. That was until we got to close to the end of the scene when Bella spoke Juliet's parting words.

_Art thou gone so? Love, lord, ay, husband, friend!  
I must hear from thee every day in the hour,  
For in a minute there are many days:  
O, by this count I shall be much in years  
Ere I again behold my Romeo!_

Bella's voice grew soft and sweet with each word uttered. When I looked, her eyes were shinning and bright. My mind was spinning out of control, but a clearing of the throat from Mr. Bertie reminded me I needed to continue.

_Farewell!  
I will omit no opportunity  
That may convey my greetings, love, to thee._

The smile she gave me made me give one in return. Then she continued on.

_O think'st thou we shall ever meet again?_

I felt odd, as if the question was from Bella to Edward, not Juliet to Romeo.

_I doubt it not; and all these woes shall serve  
For sweet discourses in our time to come._

I swear I spotted the glimmering of tears in the corner of her eyes. What the fuck? But Bella carried on and I felt swept away.

_O God, I have an ill-divining soul!  
Methinks I see thee, now thou art below,  
As one dead in the bottom of a tomb:  
Either my eyesight fails, or thou look'st pale._

Something deep inside me stirred and I barely looked at my page as I uttered the final lines of the scene.

_And trust me, love, in my eye so do you:  
Dry sorrow drinks our blood. Adieu, adieu!_

The bell rang with my last word and faster than I ever thought possible, Bella gathered her stuff and sped away. I could have sworn I heard her sniffle. My mind was a mess. What the fuck just happened? I was so confused that it was all I thought about.

A voice deep inside me started to wonder if Bella liked me as more than just a friend. I didn't know the answer but worse than that, I didn't know which answer I wanted to be true. A war erupted inside me in which I vacillated between not wanting anything more than friendship from Bella to feeling as if I wished she did. It addled my brain, left me unable to focus and concentrate on anything other than the millions of questions floating in my head.

As I walked to my car at the end of the day, Emmett barged in front of and stopped me cold.

"Yo, Edward, what's up with you today?"

I looked at him, utterly perplexed.

"You've been staring at Bella all day. So, what's the story? You got the hots for her?"

All I could think was, I had no fucking clue.

**A/N: Awww.. we have a mixed up Edward and Bella! Crazy kids! Did you ever have that someone that once you really looked at them, you were shocked with what ya found?**

**Would like to take some time and spread the word about a little contest I have entered: Taste of the Forbidden. There are over 20 entries-one of them mine! Please check them out, read and leave the authors some love. Voting will begin Sept. 2 you can find the stories on the contest FF page: www dot fanfiction dot net/u/4076435/**

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	10. April Junior Year

**A/N: Well... another week.. another chapter..and I think you are going to love this one... The songs alone set the mood..check them out! Love to all the ladies in Sweetward's Mistresses who beg me me for teasers... I love you all! Some of you will find stuff from the one shot in this chapter. Love to all who alert, fave and review! *mwah***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just this story which has a sweaty Edward! ENJOY!**

April Junior Year

**EPOV**

_The Civil Twilight- Perfect Stranger_

_Tonight I feel something over me_  
_Something I can't change _  
_Many nights I have spent sailing_  
_With many reasons to be brave_  
_But, Tonight I feel my heart begin to fail me _  
_And my head begin to fall _  
_Like two ships crossing their paths_  
_I see you like a new dawn_

Have you ever had one of those moments where you wondered what in the fuck you were thinking? I had one of those and it made me all sorts of uncomfortable. You see, it all started with my mom, who I can't tell no for shit. I tried, but she just gave me the mom look and the guilt mounted and I caved like a sissy boy.

"Edward, honey I want to talk to you." I threw my head back and closed my eyes. From the tone of her voice I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Coming," I replied and shoved away from the history homework I was slaving away on. I stomped down the stairs displaying my displeasure at being summoned for something I knew I was going to hate.

"Don't be like that Edward," admonished my mom. She was in the kitchen chopping up veggies for tonight's stir-fry. I fought the desire to roll my eyes and instead decided to kill her with kindness and flashed my lopsided grin.

She smiled back and shook her head. "You are as bad as your father." I watched as she cut bell peppers into thin strips with ease.

"What did you need?" I asked trying to get her back on track and the unpleasantness over.

"You know that the annual Spring Fling is coming up in a few weeks, right?" I nodded my head. The dance was one of the biggest charities that she was involved in. It was hosted by the hospital. It raised money to help families stay close to their loved ones who were in the hospital for long periods of time.

"Well, you know the Jensen's daughter, Makenna?" Again I nodded and a huge ball of dread filled my gut. Makenna was a senior and who dated a Fork's alum that played ball for UCLA. "Well, it seems her boyfriend can't make it back to escort her to the Spring Fling and well, she doesn't want to go alone. So I was wondering if you would take her."

"Ahh, fu…" Her glare made me stop mid swear word. "Ahh, heck. Do I have to? I mean why doesn't she go alone?" I gave her my best pouting lips. I really didn't want to dress in a monkey suit and attend some stuffy charity event.

"Now, Edward. You know that this is a cause that means a lot to them. Makenna is helping her mom plan the event and her boyfriend injured himself and can't travel to be her date. You would be going as friends." She gave me her best puppy dog eyes and I tried so hard to resist. "Please, for me?" But once she said those words, I felt my resolve crumble like stale cookies.

"I'm not staying for the whole thing." I crossed my arms over my chest in annoyance. I was going to stay firm on this point. "I'll dance one dance with her and then I am outta there."

She patted me on my head. "That's fine. I don't thinks she wants to stay too late either." With that she turned back to her veggies and I was dismissed. Being the moody seventeen-year-old boy that I was, I stomped back up to my room, one last display of my displeasure.

Of course all mom did was chuckle. I swore she was evil.

The next day at school I was cornered by Makenna before lunch.

"Edward, thank you for doing this for me. I really didn't want to go alone." Her blue eyes were soft and pleading. I could tell she was really grateful for my assistance.

"It's okay. How long did you want to be there?" I sent her mental messages to say that we wouldn't stay long.

"Um… just till the dancing starts. Could we do one dance and then leave?"

I nodded emphatically. "Sounds good to me. It's this weekend, right?"

"Yeah," she replied. "I can't thank you enough for doing this for me." She leaned over and I was caught in a swirling mist of roses and vanilla. She placed a feather soft kiss on my cheek. "You really are a sweetheart. You didn't deserve what Bree did to you." With that, she left.

I turned to head into the lunchroom when I saw Bella down the hall, her eyes wide and full of shock, or was it something else. Before I could call out to her, she had turned and ran the other direction. As I stood there debating whether I should go after her, Emmett slapped me on the back and propelled me into the lunchroom.

That was just the start of the weirdness that came from Bella. The following week Makenna and I were talking about the dance and laughing over the waiter that showed up drunk and dropped a huge tray of appetizers all over the head table. We were walking towards our classrooms and when we arrived, I bent down to kiss her cheek.

"Tell Dylan he missed one hell of a party." She laughed and gave me another peck on my cheek.

"Don't worry, I will." She winked at me and then was gone.

When I faced the door of the room, there was Bella again with a look of confusion on her face. For some odd reason I felt guilty that she was confused, which made absolutely no sense whatsoever. An eerie silence developed between us, which I hated.

"Hey Bella," I finally said when the silence got to be too much.

"Edward," was all she replied before she ducked down and hid behind her hair. She took off for her class, and I was left feeling bewildered and confused. But even more than that, I didn't understand why I felt the way I did. I still wasn't sure if I liked her as more than a friend. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to even go in that direction. I pushed back my annoyance and circular thinking and decided to deal with it another day.

A few days later, it was if nothing weird had ever happened between us, as if nothing had changed. Except, that for me things did feel different, or maybe I was reading too much into everything. Because I swear Bella was flirting with me.

Problem was it wasn't anything really obvious. Nothing like what the whores did. There was no touching my arms or rubbing against my body. There were no suggestive innuendos or blatant requests to meet in the janitor's closet for a quick blowjob. Hell, once Irina even offered to fuck me in there.

No, everything with Bella was so subtle that I wasn't even sure it could be considered flirting. She smiled at me a lot more. I even thought she was brushing her hands casually against mine during a lab in Biology. There was even one time during lunch, she was sitting across from me and when I looked up at her, her face was flushed; her eyes were wide and she looked like she was breathing harder. For one brief second, I knew I saw lust in her gaze. But when I blinked it was gone. She wasn't looking at me and she started talking to Rose.

That was the first night that I dreamt of Bella.

But I couldn't make any sense of it. There was her hair swirling around me, creating a haze of strawberry and vanilla. Then I was sitting on a zamboni that she drove during the Stanley Cup finals. It switched to us driving in my car and we were singing every song that came on the radio. Lastly, it ended by a beach, as waves crashed over our feet and us looking into each other's eyes. Just when I thought that maybe we were gonna kiss, I ended up barfing into the ocean.

I woke up soon after I barfed. The fleeting images of being with Bella floated in my mind, getting hazier by the second. I tried to concentrate on the last part, trying to determine how I felt, but I could remember nothing. It was frustrating. So, I gave up trying to dissect my weird ass dream, flopped over and went back to sleep.

When I woke in the morning I had resolved myself to just forgetting about Bella as anything more than a friend. It was cool having a girl as a friend. No pressure no worries about anything. I could just be myself. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the sound of it all. Why did I have to assume that just because she was a girl that she would be into me or that I would have to be into her?

By the time I arrived at school, I convinced myself that everything was cool with Bella and me. I wasn't going to read into every little thing that she did. I was just going to treat her like I would any of my other friends. The idea lifted my mood considerably and I was even smiling when I walked to my locker.

I was able to last a few weeks with my newfound attitude on Bella. It was a good few weeks. I was able to relax and enjoy just hanging out with my friends without the pressure of making it into something that it wasn't. I was able to debate hockey with her without reading into every little thing she said and did. It was awesome.

That all changed when I was in the locker room one day after gym. I was minding my own business when Eric and Craig started talking. I swear I wasn't trying to listen in but when they started talking about Bella, I couldn't help but tune into them.

"Did you see her ass? It was all tight and curvy in those jeans. Fuck, I wanted to smack it." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Craig make a smacking motion with his hand. Eric laughed loudly.

"Are you talking about Bella, again?" He shook his head. Again? What did he mean, again? Did Craig have some weird fascination with Bella that I was unaware of?

"Hell yeah." He groaned. "Man, I just want to grab her ass and bite it."

"Why don't you just ask her out?" asked Eric. "I mean she is single and shit."

For some reason I stopped everything I was doing and listened intently. I think I even stopped breathing, afraid that I would miss even one word they were speaking.

"No real reason. I guess I was hoping she would show some interest in me or some shit before I went and made a fool of myself."

"Dude, she hasn't shown an interest in anyone. Doesn't mean you can't be the first to sample her goods. She's got virgin written all over her." Eric voice was heavy with lust and it was ticking me off.

"Oh man I know. I so want to pop that cherry."

Sudden rage flooded my body and I had to stifle the urge to plow Craig into the lockers. My body was shaking and I didn't understand why. I had to get out of there, and quickly. So, I threw my clothes on not caring that my shirt was inside out and stormed out of the locker room to my car.

I sat there for several minutes trying to get my breathing under control and my desire to cause Craig bodily harm out of my system. But most of all I was trying to figure out why it mattered that they were talking about her like that. I was the one who decided that I was only to be her friend. So, that meant there was going to come a time when she would show interest in some guy.

Hell, it also meant that someone was going to show interest in her. Bella was pretty, in a way that was rare. She didn't make herself up with lots of make-up or tease her hair to make it look like she just was fucked. She had a natural sweetness and freshness that was sexy in its own way. It was almost like she didn't realize that she was pretty, so she didn't feel the need to enhance it.

So entranced I was in thinking of Bella and her looks that when my phone buzzed with an incoming text, I actually jumped. With my heart racing and my hand shaking, I picked up my phone to see I had a text from Jasper.

_Going over to Em's for some Halo. You in? J_

The thought of being able to channel my aggression into something that was much more appropriate than bashing in Craig's skull was welcomed. A few hours of gaming would help me forget that I ever overheard those two talking about Bella. Then things could go back to normal.

Hastily I typed in my reply.

_I'm in. See you there in a few. E_

About fifteen minute later, I was pulling up into Emmett's driveway. I made my way around to the back where I took the stairs down into Emmett's basement. I heard the sounds of them playing already.

"Started without me, fuckers?" I smacked Emmett's head because he was the closest.

"Don't get your undies in a bunch, Eddie boy. I'm about to wipe the floor with Jasper." Emmett cackled and I tried not to bristle at him calling me Eddie.

"You wish, ass wipe," retorted Jasper. The room was silent except the sounds of furious button pushing. It was hilarious to watch those two play. Jasper sat all hunched over staring intently at the TV, while Emmett moved his body in time with his character with his tongue always hanging out.

All of a sudden, Em jumped up with a shout as his character delivered a deathblow to Jasper's guy.

"Now, that's how it's done boys. BOOYA!" He let out a loud victory cry and threw down the remote. I laughed. This was exactly what I needed to get my mind off earlier.

"Let's get another game going guys, so I can wipe the floor with both of your sorry asses." I taunted them both.

"You're on," replied Jasper.

Over an hour and a half later, we were chowing down on some snacks in between games when they started talking about the girls. I tuned them out, as I wasn't in the mood to listen to Em get graphic about what he did with Rose or watch as Jasper tripped all over himself talking about Alice. So, I started to read a _Sports Illustrated_ that was sitting on the table and kept eating my chips.

I was reading an article about the possible NHL playoff match ups and how teams were faring when I heard Bella's name again.

I looked up from the magazine and looked at who was speaking. It was Emmett and without even thinking first, I interrupted him. "What did you say about Bella?"

Emmett smirked at me before he answered, "Just that out of the three girls, she has the best ass. Of course, don't tell Rosie, but she has the best bubble butt ever. Kinda makes ya want to smack it."

I tried to school my features into neutrality, but I wasn't sure I succeeded.

"What are you doing looking at a girl's ass that isn't your girl's?" I prayed he couldn't hear the fear in my voice.

He snorted and gave me a look that said he couldn't believe I even asked that question. "Dude, just because I got a girl doesn't mean I can't look. I mean, are you telling me you never compared the girls?"

Honestly, not lately. I had been so wrapped up in my head over what was or wasn't going on between Bella and I that I never really gave comparing them a thought.

I shrugged my shoulder, instinctively feeling that I didn't like the turn this conversation was taking. "No, not really. I mean Alice and Rose are your girls. I don't look at them like that."

Jasper snorted and rolled his eyes. "Ok, fine. Then tell me that you haven't checked Bella out? You have to admit that she is pretty good looking."

I floundered for a bit, not knowing what to say. I thought I had spent far too much time checking out Bella. But I couldn't lie to these guys, they would know in a heartbeat. So, I went with the semi-truth.

"A little bit. She's okay." I tried to turn back to the article that I was reading, but Emmett snatched it and threw it across the room.

"I knew it!" crowed Emmett. "You so like that sexy girl next door vibe she has going on. I so bet you wish you could tap that, to see if she really is as innocent as she looks. Girls like that are usually the hot kinky ones."

I couldn't help but explode at his remarks; it was just too much hearing another person talk about Bella like that. It was too much for me to take in one day.

"You know Em, you really are an ass. How can you talk about her like that? I mean she is your girlfriend's best friend. What would Rose say if she heard you speak about her like that? She'd fuck you over so bad." I stood up from my chair and walked away from him. I was afraid that I would punch his smirking face.

"She's a girl for crying out loud. She's not a thing or an object. She is a real person. You can be such a fucking pig, Em." I was worked up. I knew that they were thinking I had gone crazy, but I just couldn't hold it in.

"Edward, calm the fuck down. You know Em didn't mean anything by it." Jasper's voice was soft and he meant it to sound comforting. "Why are you getting all bent out of shape? It's not like we haven't discussed girls like this before."

"Yeah, well maybe I've realized how wrong it is." I had no idea where that came from, but it seemed to shock them into silence. Their mouths were open in astonishment. But I couldn't care less what they were thinking. I couldn't stay there any longer. All I could think about was Bella and it pissed me off.

"I got to get out of here. See ya later." I waved at them, as I walked out the door. I didn't even wait for them to say goodbye back.

The entire ride home my mind was filled with Bella, her ass, and wondering if she was a virgin. It frustrated me that I was right back where I didn't want to be, wondering if Bella was more than just a friend.

**BPOV**

_Kesha- Your Love is My Drug_

_Maybe I need some rehab,_  
_Or maybe just need some sleep_  
_I've got a sick obsession,_  
_I'm seeing it in my dreams_

_I'm looking down every alley,_  
_I'm making those desperate calls_  
_I'm staying up all night hoping,_  
_Hit my head against the walls_

_What you've got boy is hard to find_  
_Think about it all about it all the time_  
_I'm all strung up my heart is fried_  
_I just can't get you off my mind_

There were certain moments that stood out in stark clarity in my life. The day I rode my bike without training wheels, when my driver's license arrived in the mail, and my mom's wedding were all ones I would always remember. But there was a seemingly innocuous day at school that would forever stand out to me.

I was in need of an Edward fix. The everyday interactions weren't doing it for me anymore. I needed something sexy and hot. I was still unsure if I was going to make a play for Edward. Part of me was hoping for some type of sign from him that he had just a smidgen of interest in me. But so far he was running pretty hot and cold.

Plus, I was still reeling from the kisses I saw him give Makenna. I was vacillating between jealousy and envy. Even when I heard through the grapevine, it was nothing more than a friend thing, part of me still seethed with jealousy every time I thought of him kissing her.

I was heavy in my thoughts at the end of the day, when Mrs. Cope caught me passing by the office. "Oh, Bella could you do me a huge favor?"

I startled slightly. "Um, sure Mrs. Cope. What did you need?"

"I need you to find Coach Clapp. I think he is in the basement storage room and the intercom isn't working. Can you tell him to come to the office?"

"Not a problem." I smiled at her.

"Thank you dear."

So I meandered downstairs surprised that we even had a basement, much less what was down there. It had only taken me a few minutes to find him.

"Oh, hey Coach, Mrs. Cope asked me to find you and send you to the office."

"Thanks, Bella." He started to walk away when I stopped him.

"Um, Coach, what's the fastest way out of here? I am a bit turned around." I smiled sheepishly at him.

He smiled kindly and gave me directions to the parking lot. Once I had the directions, I headed to find the exit. I was a bit curious about what was down there, so I was snooping in open doors that I passed. That was when I saw him.

The path I had been directed to took me past the weight room, which I gave a cursory glance. Boy was I glad I did. For there he was, Edward, in all his shirtless glory, bench pressing. But it gets better. Once he was done, he sat up, and I fucking groaned inwardly. I watched as a small bead of sweat dripped off his chin, splashed onto his chest, and continued on its merry way down to the waist band of his gym shorts. All I could think was that I wanted to trace the same path with my tongue. To most women, a sweaty guy doesn't equal attraction. But for me, there was something primal that sparked deep in me.

Suddenly my mind was flooded with erotic, sexy images of a sweaty, sexy Edward and my panties were saturated. My nipples hardened under my bra and my mouth was dry. I could feel my heart and pulse quicken, as I stood there fascinated by the sight of a sweaty, hot, and completely ripped Edward. I had to get out of there fast before I ripped my clothes off and begged him to fuck me. Of course, that thought caused another flood of arousal to soak my panties.

Once home I tore up to my room, locked the door, and found my trusty vibrator. I made sure there were fresh batteries and ripped my clothes off. As soon as I was naked, I had that thing buried in my pussy. I closed my eyes and replayed all the images that flooded my brain earlier.

There was Edward and me fucking hard and wild on the bench press. I was riding him for all he was worth, using the weight bar for leverage, his hands gripping my ass. Then I imagined us at the rink, on the player's bench and he was ramming me from behind. His thrusts were hard and fast as I leaned over the sideboards. Next, we were in the penalty box, and he was telling me how much of a bad girl I was while smacking my ass.

As the images flashed over and over, I was drilling my vibrator for all it was worth into my dripping pussy. I could feel the beginning of my orgasm low in my stomach, slowly building. Faster and faster, I cycled my way through the images, adding to them, and expanding them. I rolled one of my aching nipples in my free hand, tugging and pulling on it, and causing me to moan aloud. I moved the clit stimulator back and forth, harder and faster over my achy clit, desperate for a release. My body was shaking with my pending orgasm. Finally, with one last pinch of my nipple and direct clit pressure I screamed out Edward's name as my orgasm ripped through me. I slowly stroked my clit as the last few waves passed through me, and I struggled to slow my breathing.

Later that night I had to have another round to deal with my aching pussy. I had woken up after having the best dream of Edward fucking me all over the locker room, up against the wall, in the shower, and the coach's office. By the time I was finished I had to change my sheets because I had come so hard I drenched my bed. My legs were jello; I had little strength to move. Once I had clean sheets I collapsed into bed, the rest of the night was dreamless.

Thus was born my new routine. Spend the day talking with Edward and the night fucking myself silly with my vibrator, sometimes more than once. The locker room fantasies were always the strongest. So much so that I had developed a whole scene that would play out.

Somehow, I would end up in the locker room; and it could have been after a game or a practice, it didn't really matter. Edward would be sitting on the bench in front of his locker, in various states of undress, but always sweating. The sweat was a must. Sometimes it would start out sweet, a few touches here, and few kisses there. Other times he would rip my clothes off and fuck me into oblivion. I wasn't picky about what we did, just along as he fucked me.

I tried to play it cool at school, and most days I managed to do so. But there was one day where we were all sitting at the lunch table, and I was trying hard not to stare at Edward. But he was eating an apple and the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing up and down had me mesmerized. I watched, transfixed as a few dribbles of apple juice trailed down his jaw. I had to keep my thighs tightly clenched and my hands were white knuckled, as I worked to keep from vaulting across the table and licking them off.

It was that day that I realized I couldn't wait for Edward to give me a signal. Somehow I was going to find the courage within me and get me Edward.

**A/N: Ohhh DAYUM! Edward is in denial and he's in it bad..don't ya think? As for Bella...she is one determined chica. Which one of her fanatasies did ya like? Mine? Lets just say I've been a bad girl.. I may need a penalty! Would love to hear what you thought of Edward and Bella... leave me some love?**

**See ya next week!**


	11. May Junior Year

**A/N: Hey all! I hope you had a wonderful week. My kiddos are back in school.. thank the heavens! Things are starting to heat up with our couple! Hold on tight!**

**I forgot to give much love to the team of fabulous ladies that help me and hockeyward last chapter: Itlnbrt my awesome beta who loves me despite my many comma issues- to my pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress, JoJo757 & fanfichardcore... you ladies ROCK!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twiligt, just this story and an every hopful desire that the NHL Hockey season starts on time!**

May Junior Year

**BPOV**

_Kelly Clarkson- Miss Independent _

_Misguided heart  
Miss play it smart  
Miss if you want to use that line you better not start, no  
But she miscalculated  
She didn't want to end up jaded  
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love  
So, by changing her misconceptions  
She went in a new direction  
And found inside she felt a connection  
She fell in love._

He surrounded me. Not just with his sweaty arms pressing me hard against his equally sweaty body, but with his lips as they licked and nibbled every inch of my body. My fingers kneaded and scraped at his back with each flick of his tongue and suckle of his lips.

"You taste so sweet, Bella," he whispered against my heated flesh just before he took one hardened nipple into his mouth. The pressure of his mouth sucking caused my back to arch, just to get closer to him. His hand was busy plucking and rolling my other nipple until I thought I was going to go insane from lust.

My legs moved constantly, trying to relieve the persistent ache between them. If I could have, I would have snaked my hand between us and given attention to my needy nub. But Edward was so tightly pressed to me, there was no room. Plus, my hands were busy memorizing every muscle, every ridge, and every hard plane of his back. I felt it flex as he moved all over my body.

"More, please Edward," I panted. I gripped the sheets beneath me, fearful that I would float away; he was making me feel so good.

I felt him chuckle against my skin as he blazed a fiery trail from my nipples to my belly button. He swirled the tip of his tongue into it, making me squirm and moan. But before I could protest too much, he continued his path down. The second I felt just the ghost of his breath on my sex, I shivered and splayed my legs as wide as they could. My fingers itched to fist his hair and shove him onto my clit.

As if he sensed the warring desires in me, one of his arms laid heavily on my lower body pinning me to the bed, as I heard him inhale deeply. Some part of my brain wanted to be embarrassed at him sniffing my cooch, but when I felt the flat of his tongue slide up my slit, all rational thought escaped me.

"Fuck, yes." I hissed. "Fuck, Edward. More!" This time I couldn't stifle the urge to grab fistfuls of his hair. I twined my fingers through his silken locks and crushed his face harder to my leaking pussy. That was all the encouragement he needed, as he began licking and sucking every inch of my slit. When his fingers joined the party, I started moaning like a porn star. My head thrashed from side to side as he plunged first one, then two fingers deep inside me.

With the combination of his tongue and lips attacking my clit with a ferocious intensity and his long, skillful fingers thrusting rapidly into my pussy, it was no surprise that my orgasm threatened to consume me. But when he crooked his fingers and hit that magical spot I only dreamed existed, there was no stopping myself from falling into pieces.

The fingers I had in his hair I grasped even tighter when my orgasm started. I crushed his face to my pussy and rode it for all I was worth. Moans and groans fell from my lips making the room sound like a porn set. My legs clamped his head tight as my body bowed off the bed, and my grunts of pleasure turned to screams of delight.

When the last shivers left my body, my arms and legs slumped to the bed beneath me. My breathing was ragged as he placed feather light kisses on the inside of my thigh, before popping his head up.

His face was beaming and covered in my juices and I couldn't help but give him an exhausted but silly grin back.

"How was that, Bella?" he asked, with an adorable lopsided grin. I tried to reply, but my mouth couldn't form the words. Instead I kept hear him say my name.

"Bella. Bella? BELLA!"

I woke with a start when I felt my entire body being shoved. When I finally processed what was happening, two things became clear, it was all a dream, and my hand was shoved down my panties with my dad in the room. Thank fuck, I had blankets covering my body

"About damn time you woke up, your alarm has been going off for over half an hour. You better hurry or you're going to be late for school." With that he unceremoniously slammed his hand on my alarm, finally turning it off. "I'm off to bed. I work overnights this week."

My scrambled and slightly mortified brain cleared enough to realize that my alarm woke my dad. "I'm sorry, Daddy. Didn't mean to sleep through it."

He gave me the stink eye for using Daddy to soften him up. He grunted and then made his way back to his room. When I heard his door shut, I pulled out the hand that was still buried in my panties. It was covered in my juices.

I replayed the dream, getting lost in a lusty haze of arousal and need. They were getting worse as days went by. This was the first time I woke to find my hand stuffed in my panties. I was sure I was trying to masturbate in my sleep. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Although, I tried to rationalize, boys did have wet dreams and would wake up with crusty boxers. So, it would only make sense that girls could do something similar.

I rolled my eyes at my lame attempt at making this all just peachy keen. When my eyes looked over at the clock and I realized I had wasted another fifteen minutes stuck in my head, I scrambled to get ready for the day. I sped through a fast shower, threw my hair up into a ponytail and grabbed a granola bar as I rushed to my car.

But on the way to school, I finally gave my thoughts some freedom. The first, the dreams while erotic and sexy as hell, only served to frustrate me. It was like they were taunting me, waving Edward in front of me like a carrot on a stick. Only to come to school and see the object of my desire in flesh and blood, adding another layer of torment. This of course lent itself to thought number two; I really should make a play for Edward. Which gave way to the last thought, how in the hell do I do that?

It wasn't like my situation was anything like my friends. For them it was apparent that they all liked each other. They were either too scared or stupid to do anything about it. But with Edward and me, it was a completely different story. I had no clue how he felt. He never gave me the long simmering glances that Emmett would give Rose. He never went out of his way to find innocent ways to touch me like Jasper would do for Alice.

No, instead he appeared to treat me just like he did all his friends. There was not one iota of a clue or hint that he thought of me as anything other than a friend. In fact, I swore there were even times when he seemed to avoid me at all costs. This hurt my ego and my pride. I wasn't confident enough in myself to be able to suck it up and make the first move. Not when all the signs pointed to the fact that he wasn't into me like I was him.

But that didn't mean I was giving up. No, I needed a new plan off attack and for that, I needed my girls. Of course that meant I needed to ask for their help without giving away my reason for it. I wasn't quite ready to let them in on my little obsession or maybe I should call it infatuation with Edward. Only because I needed to get things figured out in my own head before I could share it with them. Because once I told them, there would be no stopping them from doing whatever they could to get us together.

A few days later, we were all sitting in my room, my dad was working and we were doing a True Blood marathon. We were taking a break to get more snacks when Alice and Rose started discussing a double date with them and the boys. I felt it was the best opening I was going to get.

"So, um, guys, I was, um wondering something." I was twisting my hands in my shirt, trying to quell a sudden rush of nerves. They both turned to look at me to show they were listening. "How long did it take you guys to finally realize you like Jasper and Emmett?"

I prayed that they wouldn't delve deeper into the reasoning behind my question, but they both narrowed their gaze and I felt like a deer trapped in headlights.

"Any reason in particular you were wondering that?" asked Rose with a perfectly arched brow.

"Um, no…?" My voice cracked and I knew I was dead in the water. All that was left now was damage control. Alice giggled and Rose smirked. I was in deep shit.

"Right," drawled Alice. She shared some silent look with Rose for a few seconds and then turned their prefatory gaze onto me. "Here's the deal Bella, we dish, you dish. Got it?"

I swallowed nervously. I cleared my throat a few times to make sure it wouldn't squeak. "How about I tell you what I am willing for now with the promise that you will know more soon." I could tell Rose wasn't hip on that, so I kept pleading my case. "Only because there are a few more things I need to figure out before I let you guys know. I was always going to tell you guys. I promise." I gave them my puppy dog look, complete with pouty lips.

I saw Alice soften, but Rose still appeared skeptical. I knew I had to win her over. "Rose, I promise I will. This is all so new to me and you know I like to overthink shit to death. Let me try and figure some of this stuff out for myself first."

For a few heartbeats there was no sound, just me looking at Rose, pleading for her to understand. Eventually she gave me a terse nod. "You better tell us everything eventually and not the day you get with this guy. You tell us before. Got it?"

I smiled at her. "Deal."

Alice clapped now that everyone had made nice and patted the seat between her and Rose. "Come, let's talk." With a great deal of apprehension, I sat down and we began to talk.

And what a talk it was. It opened my eyes to so much. Namely, Rose and Alice had been in my situation before they got with their men. Unsure, apprehension and a whole lot of fear that the one they liked didn't like them back. For Alice, she became his friend, in the hopes that one day she would have the nerve to talk to him or he would make the first move.

Rose, was a bit more direct with Emmett. She flirted with him, but never singled him out. In her mind, she wanted him to know she liked him, but she wasn't going to wait for him. She wasn't a stingy flirt, limiting it to just flirting with Em and no one else. She spread out her flirts, making sure he saw her do it. She felt that it made a boy figure out quickly how he felt about a girl.

They dispensed valuable information like it could take a boy longer to figure out how he felt about a girl. Most of the time they swore boys needed to be slapped upside the head before they realized they liked a girl. They cautioned me not to come on too strong, but not to fade into the shadows either. It was a carefully crafted mix of the two dichotomies. It made my head spin.

When it came time for me to give them small tidbits of who I was fascinated with, I had to choose my words just right. I didn't want them to figure it out and hound me until I caved and confirmed they were right. They looked at me with such expectation, I hated to disappoint them.

"First let me ask that you let me get out all I'm willing to divulge. Also, please respect that even if you have questions I may not answer them. Again it's not because I don't want to tell you, it's just that for now I'm keeping some stuff to myself. Okay?"

Both girls nodded, crossed their hearts and held out their pinkies. We did a three-way pinkie shake, and I began my tale. I told them I had noticed him a few months back, but only recently realized I liked him. That I have talked to him, and I shared a class with him. I didn't see the need to tell them that I shared two classes with Edward. I was worried it would make it too easy for them to determine who I was talking about.

I said he was a sweet guy and I felt a connection to him, but not sure that he felt the same way, which was why I asked them about their relationship with the guys. They tried to ask if they knew him, was he an athlete, and would they approve of him. As much as I wanted to tell them everything and answer their questions I could only tell them that I would tell them soon.

It barely pacified them, but when I reminded we pinkie shook, they scowled and we were able to turn back to the True Blood marathon. I breathed a sigh of relief and snuggled down to watch hunky vampires vie for Sookie's attention. For just that night, I didn't want to worry about Edward and what I was going to do.

Of course that only lasted for that night. After that, it was always on my mind. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became, because there didn't seem to a simple solution that wouldn't cause me to be the one laying all my cards on the table. If there was only some way to increase my odds that he would like me.

And just like that, inspiration finally struck! Why couldn't I do just that, try and make him like me. Ok, so I knew I couldn't force him. But I could make him notice me. Show him that I could and should be more than a friend. I could show him that I was prime girlfriend material.

And what better time to do it than in the summer. That way I wouldn't have to compete with half of the female population of Forks High. I could work some magic in a more relaxed and casual atmosphere. I would get Alice and Rose on board. Hell, I would take Alice up on her offer of a makeover. I was getting excited just thinking about it. I was bound to spend lots of time with Edward, as he was friends with the boys. I knew that Alice and Rose would be spending time with them.

It all worked out just so fucking perfect that I couldn't sleep some nights, I was too busy making plans. I had dreams of all the time we would spend together over the summer: movies at Rose's, cook-outs at First Beach, hanging out in Em's basement. Fuck, maybe Edward and I could even hang out by ourselves. That idea alone fueled plenty of vibe ready fantasies.

But before I could implement any of my plans, there was one little problem I needed to take care. I knew what my end goal was and I wanted to make it the best that it could be and well, my little issue was standing in my way. If I was going to do something, I had to be careful; word could not make it back to Edward, which limited my choices. But I wasn't going to let it deter me.

But you know that saying about having good intentions and they go to hell or something like that. Well, I lived it. Just days after I came up with my brilliant summer plan of Operation Edward, my fucking father goes and ruins it all. With one fucking sentence over dinner he wrecked not only my appetite but my beautiful plan.

I was scouting the Cosmo website for the top ten ways to let your crush know you like him or something similar when Charlie came home with the pizza he promised for dinner. I had more important things to do than cook. I had a plan to develop.

"Bells, I'm home and I got the pizza."

"Be right down, Dad." I bookmarked what I was reading and headed downstairs.

Charlie was getting plates out of the cabinet, so I went and grabbed a can of beer for him and a can of Cherry Coke for me. We dug into the deep dish meat lover's pizza. I had a mouthful of it when Charlie reached into his back pocket and slid a rectangular envelope next to me. I wiped my hands, curious as to what he was giving me.

I looked up at him and he smiled as he took a bite. He motioned for me to open it up. For some reason I stopped chewing, like my body couldn't chew and open the envelope at the same time. I flipped the lid and saw a plane ticket. I scanned closer to see it was for Jacksonville leaving a couple of days after school let out with a return date of three weeks later.

I started to choke on the pizza as shock and anger flooded my body. My hands flew to my mouth as I tried to choke back up the lump of pizza that had lodged in my throat. Charlie flew to my side and began to pound on my back. A few good thumps and the mushy ball of food landed on my plate.

Of course, all that thumping had turned off my brain filter as my first words were not ones of gratitude, for either saving my life or the ticket.

"What the fuck is this?" My hand held the offensive piece of paper. Charlie's eyes bugged out of their sockets and his mouth opened and closed like a fish needing oxygen.

"Language, Bella!" roared Charlie. All I could muster up in response was a dramatic eye roll. He gave me the stink eye, I huffed and took a few calming breaths.

"What is this ticket all about?" I asked as calmly as I could. Charlie looked at me warily before he sat back down and spilled his guts.

It seemed him and my mom were talking and they decided it would be a good idea for me visit seeing as I never went down during my breaks. Together they purchased the ticket. They picked the three weeks right after school so that I would still have most of my summer break to spend with my friends.

But how could I make them understand being away those three weeks put a kink in all my plans. It allowed too much time for some other chick to swoop in and steal Edward away. But no matter how much I cried, ranted, and pouted, my parents were both resolute. I was going to Jacksonville and nothing would change that.

One night, as I lay in my bed, trying to re-arrange my plans to make the most of the time I would have left in the summer if by some miracle Edward wasn't snatched up by a skank, a devious idea came to me. Maybe, just, maybe I could use this trip to my advantage. What better place to take care of my little problem than hundreds of miles away from Edward. After all, what happened in Jacksonville stayed in Jacksonville.

**EPOV**

_Hedley- Trip_

_What are you doing to me?  
I'm so into you  
And the hardest part is knowing  
That I'll never follow through  
You're slowly killing me  
And I wish it wasn't true  
Cause I'm so into you_

I was glad May was busy. It allowed me little time to spend torturing myself over Bella. I honestly didn't want to think about her or anything related to her. I just wanted to make it through the end of the school year and start out the summer with a bang. Bella and all these strange and rather annoying feelings I had for her was a complication I did want to bother with.

Trouble was, I wasn't sure how successful I was in trying to ignore her. I shared two classes with her; lunch, friends, and even when she wasn't near me she lingered in my mind. I could pick out the smell of her shampoo anywhere and her laugh always made me look at her.

In the deep places of my brain I knew that I liked her and more than a friend. I just wasn't ready to admit it and I wasn't ready to be with her, or any girl. It was more than just what Bree did to me by cheating. It was everything that being in a relationship entailed. I just wasn't sure if I was ready for it all, to put myself out there, vulnerable and exposed. So I did what I did best. I pushed all those thoughts away, stuffed them deep, and focused on anything else, but how much I really liked being near her.

Luckily, Emmett gave me a great distraction when we had less than three weeks left of school. We were all piled in my room trying to finish last minute projects, and I was trying to help Emmett with math. He was in danger of failing and if he wanted to play his senior year of football he needed to pass. Jasper was on my computer typing up a history paper.

"Yo, jerk off's. What are we gonna do next month? Eddie's turning eighteen. Ya know what that means!" He waggled his brows and we both rolled our eyes at him. I was the last of the three of us to turn eighteen. We had always said we would go do something epic to celebrate our new found freedom.

Emmett was going full speed, throwing out ideas left and right. "We could go bungee jumping, skydiving, or we could go get tattoo's!" He eyes were lit with some crazy light with all the fucked up ideas in his head.

Jasper and I looked at him in horror. We both knew we had to rein him in before he went off half-cocked. Jasper spun to look at Emmett who was pacing in front of my window. "Dude, chill. I'm not doing any of that. Are you nuts? Why can't we do something that won't end up with one or more of us in the hospital?"

Em spun on his heel. "Come on Jasper, live a little." I could see he was gearing up for a fight; I had to diffuse things fast.

"Um, hey, it's my birthday. Why can't I pick?" Jasper was nodding emphatically.

"He's right Em, let Edward decide what he wants to do." We both watch as Em warred with the need to do something extreme and being a good friend.

"Ok, fine," He pouted. "What do you want to do Edward?" I could practically see him begging me to pick one of his ideas. It was written all over his face.

"Let me think about it and I'll get back to you guys." I saw Emmett was gearing up for a huge hissy fit; he could be such a pussy. "We really need to get this shit done," I gestured to the books and papers that littered my room. "Don't worry Em, I won't make any decisions without talking to you first. I promise."

That seemed to pacify him and we returned to studying. But he had planted the seeds of wanting to do something epic, just not life threatening. To me there was a big difference. Plus, the more rational it was, the more likely it was the parents would be okay with it. Emmett tended to forget that part.

A week later, Jasper cornered me before I walked into the lunchroom.

"Hey, Edward. I got an idea for this summer." He was scratching the back of his head, telling me he was nervous.

"Sure, what you got in mind?" We walked off down the hall to talk without being overheard.

"Well, I got some relatives in California. What about a road trip."

I had to admit, the idea had some real potential. The thought of cruising through California had appeal. There were some great ballparks we could visit, the ocean, and great cities to see. I could feel a smile creep across my face.

"You know, Jasper that sounds like one hell of an idea. Let me do some thinking and searching and I'll let you know." He nodded and we went into lunch.

The idea of a road trip rolled through my mind. I loved the thought of just getting away, letting the ocean breezes just take me away. There were plenty of things we could do and see, even some with enough thrill for Emmett's need for adrenaline.

Just then Bella laughed along with the girls over something Emmett did. My eyes drifted over to her and I couldn't help but think maybe time away from her would help clear my mind. While there was more of me that was ready to admit I was into her, I just wasn't ready to follow through with it.

**A/N: Hmmm... any ideas what Bella is planning? What do you think about Edward? Is he still swimming in denial or confusion?**

**Real quick.. voting for the Taste of the Forbidden Contest is now going on thru Sept. 7th.. both CullensTwiMistress and I have something entered.. will you please take some time to read the fuck hot entries and vote?! Go here- link is there for voting: www dot fanfiction dot net/u/4076435/ THANK YOU!**

**Ok..so leave me some love and I'll be back next week! *mwah***


	12. June Summer Break

**A/N: Ok..ok... *takes deep breath* I hope you are all reading this! This chapter is going to be hard for some of you.. but I ask that you take a giant step back and try and understand why it HAD to happen like this. This was always in my mind as part of the story.. even when I wrote the one shot... listen to why this happened... and I'll explain more at the end.**

**To Nikki, Mandi & Carmen- enjoy your little cameo's.. I love you all!**

**To my kick ass girls- the 4 of you held my hand when I wrote this chapter.. you gave me strength and support when I worried that this wouldn't work. You told me you supported me and would stand up for me come hell or highwater. I love you all! Itlnbrt, my sweet beta- your warm words of encouragement was a balm for my spirit. To the pre-readers: JoJo757, fanfichardore and CullensTwiMistress- you all told me you loved it and supported me in doing it this way. *mwah***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.. its ok.. cuz I do own Hockeywrd ENJOY! *runs and hides***

June: Summer Break

**BPOV**

_Honeyhoney- Thursday Night_

_It's just me and you tonight..  
I got no bark and I got no bite  
unless of course that's what you like..  
'might not get much sleep tonight.  
It's not that I'm just using you -  
you just look like you need it too.  
And when that sun comes rolling through,  
we'll have done what we came to do._

I watched the skies grow brighter and sunnier as my plane flew east towards Jacksonville. I was leaving behind dreary Forks for the sunshine and heat of Florida. I wasn't happy about it, not by a long shot. But life handed me lemons and I was doing my best to make lemonade. I was going to make the best of the next three weeks. I was going down there a virgin and if I had anything to say about it, I wasn't coming back one.

There was a part of me that thought my plan didn't make much sense, I didn't listen to it. I didn't understand the hype surrounding giving up the v-card. To me it was a hindrance. In my mind, when I got together with Edward, I didn't want to worry about first times and discomfort. It would be great from the start. Yeah, I'm sure my reasoning was a bit convoluted, but to me it made sense. Plus, it was better than losing it in Forks, where the chance of Edward finding out was too great. In Florida, it would all stay there.

I really blamed this weird idea on my friends. All their talk about how painful it was and how they got no pleasure whatsoever. Could you blame me for not wanting to go through that with Edward? Why wouldn't I want our first time to be spectacular right from the get go? If losing my v-card was the price I needed to pay to make sure that happened, I'd certainly pay it. Like I said, it was no big deal.

My biggest problem was finding someone to lose it to. I knew a few guys I went to school with, but I wasn't sure if any of them would fit the bill. Granted it had been nearly a year since I saw anyone from school, a lot could've changed in that time. Hell, I was living proof of that. I was nowhere near the shy and awkward girl I was when I left Florida. Okay, so maybe I was still a little shy, but I also had some extra confidence and pussy power.

I let out a snicker at that thought. I definitely had some confidence in my womanly wiles. Maybe I could play around with them, hone my skills as I'd try and get rid of my cherry. Again what a better place to do than thousands of miles away from Washington and Edward.

The first several days back in Florida were a whirlwind of outings with my mom and dinner with her and Phil. He had taken a few days off from work to spend time with me, which I appreciated. We went bike riding on old familiar walking trails, down to the beach to try and get a start on a tan, to the movies, and lastly to the mall.

Secretly, I was excited to be at the mall or more specifically, Victoria's Secret. If I had plans to lose my virginity, I wasn't going to do it in bikini undies from Target. No, I was going to need something a bit more mature and far sexier. After all, Rose was always telling me that sexy lingerie only adds a confidence boost. I was going to need as many of those as possible.

My mom seemed thrilled I wasn't pitching a fit at stopping to look at lace and satin. In fact, after a rather bizarre and convoluted discussion, she ended up helping me pick out several pairs of sexy boy short panties. I loved the way they felt against my skin and they sure looked cute on me. The bras were easier; I just went for those that were full of lace, bows, and helped define my cleavage. I couldn't wait to get home and throw away my plain old bras. Already I could feel the confidence coursing through my body. This was a good thing, because two days later, I was going to need it.

My mom was out with some friends and I decided to head down to the park closest to the house. It was a quiet, peaceful place to chill and relax. I was lying on a blanket, reading when a loud and high-pitched squeak burst my eardrum. Looking up from my book, I saw a tall willowy girl barreling down on me.

"BELLA!" She screamed as her thin arms wrapped around me squeezing the life right out of me. When she pulled back, I was able to see who attacked me like a rapid dog.

"Carmen?" I asked the stunning girl in front of me. She nodded and did a little twirl. Gone was the emo goth girl who wore all black and bemoaned the consumerism of life. Instead, she was replaced with a girl in a flowing skirt, loose peasant top, dangling bracelets decorated her wrists, and hair jet black. Her caramel skin glowed and her smile was dazzling. I didn't ever remember seeing her smile when I knew her.

We did the girly squealing thing, which was odd as I had never had the desire to do that before, but the situation called for it. We hugged and looked each other over. After catching up on what was new and how I liked my new life in 'bum-fucked nowhere' she grabbed my arms tightly while her eyes flashed with a mischievous glint.

"You must come down to the Pit! Everyone will freak at seeing you!" She jumped up and down a few times. "Please, Bella. For me?" She unleashed a pouty look that I was helpless against.

I was trying to decide if I wanted to go when she threw in the deal clincher. "I'm sure there will be boys there."

My ears perked up. In order to put my plan into motion, I needed to find the other part of the equation. I needed a guy. "Sure, sounds like fun. When and where?"

She squealed and looked down to her phone. "How about I pick you up at seven? How late do you think your mom will let you stay out?"

I knew Renee would be lenient about curfew. I shrugged, "Not sure, midnight maybe?"

"Perfect, because the real fun starts at sunset." She winked and waved as she walked away. "See you later, Bella."

A few hours later, I was in front of the mirror desperately trying to find an outfit for tonight. I had a skirt that was comfortable with but I worried it would be too much. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the skirt and threw it on before I could talk myself out of it. It was time for the new Bella to come out, stretch her wings, and try to fly. If I wanted to end up with Edward, doing the same old shit wasn't going to work.

By the time Carmen picked me up, I was feeling confident and sexy. I could so do this. I watched the scenery fly by as she drove. I had only been to the Pit a few times before. It was mainly an upper classman hangout. During the day, it was filled with kids playing on the beach, skateboarders, bikers, and the people who came out to watch them. I had never been there at night so I was just a bit anxious as to what would happen. But I had no time to worry about it, because as soon as Carmen parked the car, she was screaming out.

"Look who I have everyone?" Several heads whipped over to look at Carmen. Suddenly the parking lot was filled with noises and screaming. I found myself swarmed by several girls and even a few boys. I felt overwhelmed, but I swallowed my nerves and flashed a confident smile.

I heard people clamoring my name, asking me how I had been, hugging me, and telling me I had been missed. I was surprised by the attention. I never thought I had that many friends here, but all the smiling cheerful faces made me feel at ease.

"Bella-boo!" I knew that voice and whipped my head to see one of my dearest friends scrambling to make her way to me.

"Nikki?" I exclaimed, sure that the girl in front of me couldn't be the preppy chick I left behind.

"The one and only." She winked and stepped back so I could get a good look at her. Gone were the polo shirts, jeans, and carefully straightened hair. Instead, her once light brown hair was dyed midnight black with a few streaks of neon green, orange and pink. Her clothes were all black except her sparkly pink rhinestone studded belt and chucks. Her nose has been pierced, as had her ears, several times over. In one hand, she held a cigarette and the other a skateboard decked out in stickers of zombies, Hello Kitty, and glittered unicorns. She was smiling from ear to ear and the familiar hum of her excitable energy poured over me. She reminded me a lot of Alice. If Alice was one rocking skateboard chick.

I couldn't help but smile in approval before she hugged me close. Tears threatened my eyes. I had missed her so much. When we pulled away we tried to discreetly wipe our watery eyes, she looped her arm on one side while Carmen got the other and we made our way over to where everyone else was congregated.

There I ran into my other two friends; Mandi, who looked the same, tanned, toned and athletic, and Missy. We called them the M&M twins, as wherever one was, the other was sure to be around. The funny thing was that they were polar opposites. Missy was fair skinned, light auburn hair, striking green eyes, and quiet. Mandi on the other hand had sparkling hazel eyes and dark blonde hair and you could hear her a mile away.

We hugged, squealed, and talked as we caught each other up on our lives. Once that was done, we sat on one of the picnic benches and watched the action around us. Nikki went off to show me some tricks, and there was bunch of guys kicking around a hacky sack and a group on the beach playing volleyball.

"So," drawled Mandi. "Tell us all about the guys up there? Any hot ones?" She nudged my shoulder and I couldn't help but blush.

"Yeah, there are some hot ones, ugly ones, and the ones to stay away from." I rolled my eyes as I thought about Mike and his little puppy pack.

"Ohh, that looks means there is a story," exclaimed Carmen. "Spill your guts."

So I told them all about Mike and his group of friends. I told them about Alice and Rose, the guys and what they were like. When they tried to ask if I liked someone, I was quick to shut down that line of talk. I didn't intend to tell them about Edward, not when I was hoping they would help me find someone to take care of my problem.

"No, not really." I shrugged. Wanting to get their focus off the guys in Forks, I asked about the guys all around. "So, what's new with all the guys here?" There were only a few guys I knew more than on a first name basis when I left for Forks. From what I remembered, they wouldn't have had a clue what to do with my virginity. Chances were, they still had theirs.

"Ohh, there is some juicy shit going down," said Missy. Her green eyes twinkled as she started to talk about the guys around us.

She talked about Hayden and how he finally came out of the closet and how he was now dating Chris. She pointed to them over in the skate park. I was surprised to say the least. I had a thought Hayden might be gay, but I had no idea about Chris. She then pointed to one of the groups playing hacky sack. "Brandon supposedly had this girlfriend he met online, but Mack hacked into his computer and found out she was some forty year old woman with two kids."

The table busted up laughing at that. I looked at Brandon and giggled. He hadn't changed much since I last saw him, tall, wiry, thick glasses, and no real fashion sense. I internally giggled at that, Rose would have been so proud of me.

On and on the girls brought me up to speed, but so far no one caught my attention. I was starting to little freak out a little that my plan was over before it started. That was until some of the guys playing volleyball walked over to the skate area to hang out.

My eyes were immediately drawn to a tanned back with broad shoulders. He was turned away from me and the form wasn't familiar. I nudged Nikki who by now had joined our little group of gossips. "Who's that?"

She followed my gaze and finger and her face broke out in a huge smile. "That's Jason." Her voice ended with a small sigh and I bit back a giggle.

The name didn't ring any bells. "A new kid?"

"Oh no, Bella," whispered Missy, shaking her head gently. "That's Jason Bradson." It took a few seconds before the name sunk in.

Then us five girls all whispered, "Aussie boy." As if he had heard us, he turned to face our way and I swear my pussy throbbed.

Hello gorgeous.

The last I remembered Jason was a painfully skinny and tall kid. He was shy and very awkward. Of course, that could have been due to his entire family moving from Australia to Jacksonville at the end of 7th grade. His dad was some bigwig in an international corporation and moved here to take over. His accent was very pronounced and well, I didn't think it helped matters. But the guy I saw was nothing like the boy I remembered.

He was still tall, but it looked sexy on him. He had filled out his frame and while he wasn't rippling with muscles, he had a lean and supple look about him. His shorts hung low on his hips and his shirt was tucked into his pocket allowing my eyes to drink in the sight of his tanned chest. The sun glinted off his sweat soaked skin and I felt my body react to him.

Ladies and gentlemen, we had a winner.

It wasn't for another two days before I finally got a chance to get close to Jason. We were back at the pit, but it was after dark. Someone had started a fire on the beach and we were all clustered together in small groups. I was sitting with Mandi, Carmen, and Nikki, while Jason was a blanket away. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. His brown hair had a casual shaggy look and his bright blue eyes shone every time he laughed.

I was trying to find a way to talk to him, when I noticed that he was walking toward the coolers. Seeing that as my chance, I bolted up and sprinted over towards him. I slowed down as I got close so I wasn't panting like a dog in heat when I got to him.

Up close, he took my breath away and I was momentarily speechless. He spun to face me as he got his drink and we collided. His hands grasped my arms as he kept me from falling.

"Whoa, didn't see ya there." My body tried not to shiver at sound of his accent. No longer did it sound funny. In fact, it was downright sexy and it made my girlie bits take notice.

"Sorry, didn't expect you to turn so suddenly." I flashed what I hoped was a sexy smile. "It's been a long time since we talked. Nice to see you again." My hands, which had gone to his arms when he caught me, squeezed his gently.

"It's Bella, right?" Again, another shiver made its way down my spine as my name rolled off his tongue, I could feel my nipples pebble.

"Guilty as charged." I smiled and looked at him through lowered lashes. I slowly lowered my hands from his body, trailing them as I tried to keep contact with him for as long as possible. It thrilled me to realize he kept his hands on my body.

"Would you like something to drink?" He held up his bottle of water. My mouth was suddenly dry and I had to lick my lips to wet them. I watched as his eyes flicked to my lips as I licked them. I almost groaned when he finally let go of me. My body immediately missed the warmth of his hands.

"Yes, that would be great." He handed me the bottle in his hands, allowing contact between us again. This time I knew I felt arousal trickle out of me. He was sex personified and I had to fight my desire to drag him into some dark corner and have my wicked way with him.

When he turned around to bend down to gather another drink, I couldn't help but check out his ass and I had to bite my lip to stifle a moan. His ass looked good enough to pinch or bite. Or maybe I'd get a chance to do both. I quickly averted my eyes back up to him and that was when I really took in how tall he was.

I actually had to tilt my head up to look at his face instead of his chest. Although there was nothing wrong with staring at his chest, except it was a little rude. I was just under five and half feet tall, but Jason had to be at least six-two, maybe six-three.

"How fucking tall are you?" I cringed at my word vomit and blushed profusely. I ducked my head down and let my hair fall like a curtain around my face. I shift nervously as I heard his deep-throated laugh at my inane question.

I snuck a look through my hair to see his blue eyes twinkling at me. "Don't worry, I get that a lot. I'm just around six-two."

"Damn," I whispered in awe. He chuckled and I shook myself from the lust fog that surrounded me.

We started to walk and it wasn't until water crashed over my feet that I realized we hadn't returned to our friends. We spent most of the night talking and I did my best to flirt with him. There were small touches and brushes of my body against his. I used flirty language, and lots of slow, seductive looks and glances. I prayed it was working, because I was wound as tight as a spring. My body was practically vibrating with need.

Over the next few days, it was a lot of flirty talk and touches but no real action. My vibe, which I thankfully remembered to bring, was getting a nightly workout. I was going mad trying to move things to the next level between us. So I was more than willing to talk to the girls one night as we were getting ready for a day out.

Jason and a few of the other guys were part of a summer soccer league and we were going to watch them play and then hang out afterwards. The idea of a sweaty Jason was making my panties wet and my clit throb.

"So," drawled Missy who was touching up her lipstick in Carmen's room, "what's the deal with you and Jason. You guys are awfully close." She winked and turned back to the mirror. Right next her Mandi was doing her own make-up and nodding profusely.

"Yeah, you guys have been stuck like glue. Looking for a little summer fling?" The other girls stopped what they were doing and starred at me.

I could feel a blush wash across my face. There was no time like the present to get some guidance. I had to be fully committed to this plan and this was "make it or break it" time. Taking a deep breath, I summoned the inner vixen that I knew was in there and let her free.

I nodded shyly at first and then gushed like a crazy girl. "He is so fucking hot. I can't pass up a chance for a little summer fling, now can I?" All around me, the girls squealed. I reveled in the excitement around me. When the clamor had died down, I was able to continue. "There's a problem ladies." They quieted down instantly. "I don't think he's getting the hints I'm laying down. Could he not be into me?"

Nikki was the first to shake her head no. "Nope, no way. I've seen how he looks at you, like he want to eat you up."

"Or at least eat something." Carmen joked with a wink and a smile. The room exploded into laughter and screams. "Okay, okay, calm down." Nikki shouted over the noise. "We need to help Bella make sure Jason notices her and only her."

This caught the girl's attention and within minutes, I was being mobbed. There were discussions and debates over what kind of look to sport and after much debate, a final look was chosen. I was borrowing a cute pair of tight jean capri pants from Carmen and it was paired with layered spaghetti strapped tank tops. Missy pulled my hair up into a sexy mess of curls on top of my head and Mandi completed the look with dark eyes and lips.

Looking in the mirror, I almost didn't recognize myself. I looked and felt sexy and it gave my confidence a huge boost. _Look out Jason, because here I come._

The game was fun and entertaining. Jason was an amazing athlete. It was fascinating to watch him, a fierce look of concentration on his face as he handled the ball to the look of happiness when his team scored. It reminded me a lot of Edward and his love of hockey. You could see Jason's love for the game.

Later that night, as we all sat by the fire, I was able to get Jason alone. With all the time we had spent together, it was getting easier and easier to talk to him. In the back of my mind, there was a running dialogue of all the tips and tricks Alice read to me from Cosmo on how to get your man. I was trying to make my way as close as I could without straddling his lap; I wanted to at least get a kiss out of him tonight.

My chance came sooner rather than later when he saved my head from a wayward Frisbee. In his haste to block my head and deflect the Frisbee, he knocked me down, flat on my back. He hovered over me, to make sure I was fine. For a few moments, we just starred at each other. I could hear my heartbeat in my chest.

Without thinking, I pulled him close to me and kissed him. His body froze for a second before his warm body melted into mine. Soon, his mouth parted and his tongue swiped across my lower lip and I happily parted my own lips. Soon, we were engaged in an all-out lip lock fest. Our lips moved against each other tasting, teasing. He nipped at my upper lip as I sucked in his lower one. Our tongues danced and darted in and around each other. It was fucking amazing.

Just as I was starting to get excited over the feel of his erection pressed into my thigh, our make-out session was interrupted by loud boisterous catcalls and whistles. Reluctantly we pulled away, I took a chance and looked up at him, his eyes were hooded, desire clearly written in them. In an unspoken moment, we both realize what was going on between us. With a small nod, I kissed his lips chastely and we unwound ourselves from each other.

Thus began our little summer fling. Over the next several days, our kisses gave way to heavy petting, and then to full make-out sessions. The first time his long fingers slid inside me, I was a goner. The orgasm he coaxed out of me was so much more intense than what I gave myself. He was patient when I went down on him the first time. Using soft, gentle words to teach me what felt good to him. He allowed me to hone my skills to the point I felt fairly confident that I knew what I was doing.

The night of the boat party was when he went down on me for the first time. My body shook as he kissed his way down, anxiety like I had never felt coursed through me. But once again his gentle, calming demeanor lowered my panic levels and I was able to enjoy his ministrations. And believe me, the boy had skills. My wildest dreams couldn't have begun to conjure up the way it felt to have his tongue lick my slit, the feel of his lips as they wrapped around my clit and his fingers as they pumped inside of me. The reality of being eaten out far surpassed the dream.

When there was less than four days before I had to return to Washington, I had a small moment of panic. Somewhere inside me I was wondering if what I was doing was completely fucked up, that I had stepped over that imaginary line between sanity and crazy. It felt like I had. But a bigger part of me just brushed it aside. There was a bigger goal I had to keep in mind. In the end, that was all that should matter.

A day later and I was at my going away party being thrown at Nikki's house. Her parents were gone for the night on some boat cruise and she took the opportunity to throw me a party. There were people everywhere, some that I had never met. But that didn't matter to me. This was going to be my last chance to lose my v-card. Jason was going to Australia in a few days and I was leaving. It was now or never.

Later that night, when most of the crowd had thinned out, I was able to maneuver us into an empty bedroom. The girls all knew what I hoped to accomplish tonight so they would be on the lookout to make sure our time was uninterrupted.

I didn't want to lead him on. I was pretty sure we were on the same page. I wanted him to be the one to do this for me, and I needed to be clear with him. Over the last few days, I'd battled internally about whether or not I should tell him my v-card status beforehand. I was worried that if I did, he'd refuse me. But another part of me, a larger part, felt I owed him some honesty. If I wasn't going to tell him _why _I wanted to lose my virginity, I should at least tell him I was one.

"Can we talk first? I need to tell you something."

We sat side by side on the bed and I came clean with him. I told him of my virgin status, to which he smiled a cocky grin, knowing that he'd be my first. I also let him know that this would be the only time for us. That I'd be going home with no illusions of being together.

He seemed okay with everything. He agreed that he wasn't looking for a relationship and especially not a long-distance one. Being his sweet self, he even asked if this was what I really wanted to do. When I nodded, he smiled and leaned over to kiss me.

We started out slow, with gentle kisses, and soft caresses. The feel of his warm hands were familiar to my body by now. My hands buried themselves in his hair as his tongue flicked over my nipples. A slow tingly feeling erupted deep in my belly as his fingers and tongue played my body.

Clothes were rapidly being removed and tossed aside as we both became wrapped up in lust and desire. Everything was a mix of sounds and feelings, and I felt overwhelmed by it all. Somewhere I heard the crinkle of foil and felt him shift as he rolled the condom down his length. He shifted between my splayed legs and his fingers slid through my wet center. His fingers pumped as he brought me closer to another orgasm. Just as I started to clench down on his fingers, he pulled them out and replaced them with his cock.

I felt a slight pinch and an uncomfortable burn in my opening, and I whimpered. He stilled above me. He made to speak but I placed my fingers over his lips and shook my head. "It's okay. Keep going."

I could sense his eyes on me, but I didn't want to look at him. I shifted my hips and he groaned at the movement.

"You okay, Bella." The concern in his voice warmed me. I responded by pulling him back down for a kiss and wiggling my body. The dull ache had faded leaving me only feeling full and tingly.

It was all the encouragement he needed. He began to pull out and then thrust back in, picking up speed with each motion. I could feel his breath on my shoulder and my legs wound themselves tighter around his waist, urging him on. We both knew I wouldn't come, but it was still pleasurable to know we were both in it for something. I'd lose the v-card, and he'd get laid. Win-win for both of us.

I felt his movements grow faster and more erratic. With one last groan, I felt him shudder above me and grind himself deeper into me. His body slumped down on the bed as I pushed his hair away from his eyes.

I kissed his lips, silently thanking him for doing this for me. He rolled off me and cleaned himself up as I lay there, wondering if I'd done the right thing. But the deed was done; I was no longer a virgin. I'd accomplished my task.

Jason sat by my side and calmly ran his hand through my hair. "Are you feeling okay?" His brow furrowed and I smoothed it away with my fingers.

"I'm fine. Thank you." I smiled at him, letting him see that I was truly fine with all that had happened. Satisfied with what he saw, he grinned and kissed me chastely.

I sat up, still smiling; knowing that I'd picked the right person. Jason was sweet and understanding, the perfect person for this kind of endeavor.

We both got dressed, awkwardly searching the room for our discarded clothing and silently made our way out of the house.

I hugged him again once outside and watched him walk away. Somewhere deep inside I felt an ache, but I ignored it as I headed back home.

**EPOV**

_John Waite- Missing You_

_I ain't missing you at all  
Since you've been gone away  
No I ain't missing you no matter what my friends say  
I ain't missing you  
I ain't missing you  
I can lie to myself.  
And there's a storm that's raging  
Through my frozen heart tonight.  
I ain't missing you at all  
Since you've been gone away_

Emmett flopped down on the couch in my room with a dramatic sigh. I rolled my eyes at his theatrics.

"What's your damage, Em? Got your period?" His response was to flip me off.

"Fuck off. It's just that Rose wants to go shopping and see a movie in Port A tonight and I am done with that shit." He heaved another dramatic sigh.

I chuckled at him he was so pussy-whipped. "That's what you get for having a girlfriend."

"No, it's what I get when my girlfriend's best friend is gone for weeks. I have to do all the shit she would have done with Bella. I can't wait for her to get back."

I stayed silent and kept my opinions to myself about Bella being gone. I would admit to feeling her absence. It was hard not to when the five of us got together and hung out. I was always the odd man out and it didn't bother me, much. But having Bella around eased the feelings of being left out. Not that I saw us as a couple, more like friends.

I scoffed internally at that thought. A friend, as if it could be that fucking simple. Nothing was simple when it came to Bella. I tried to be just friends and she was in every thought. I tried to ignore her and it nearly drove me crazy to hear others talk to about her. I never knew if I was coming or going with her. She flustered me unlike any other girl I had ever known. I hated that.

Luckily for me, Jasper came into the room, breaking me from the dark train of thoughts I was on. That afternoon we were meeting to discuss our summer plans. We had gotten the parents approval, now we just needed to plan the stupid thing.

"Hey, Jazz. So did you hear from your Aunt and Uncle?" They were the missing piece to our puzzle. We had a majority of our Californian road trip planned out, we just needed to know where we were starting out and adjust things accordingly.

Jazz walked over to the bed and flopped down. "Sure did. They are ok with us making their house the start and finish of the trip."

Em hooted with excitement. He was eager to get the show on the road. We were going to be gone for most of the month of July. We would fly from Seattle to California in early July and head to see Jazz's family. Then we were borrowing one of their cars and cruising down the California coast. We would arrive back to Jazz's family around July 25th or so and fly back to Washington a few days after that.

We were all looking forward to it. With the okay from Jazz's family, we pulled out our map and itinerary and adjusted our route and the things we wanted to do. Close to two hours later, we had the route mapped out and itinerary set.

We decided to celebrate getting everything squared away with some video games. While Jasper and Emmett were busy trying to shoot up armies, I was trying my best to keep my thoughts off Bella and the fact that I wouldn't even get to say goodbye.

Yea, I wasn't missing her at all.

**A/N Ok..ok.. before you flame me.. listen... This was always something Bella was going to do... to her.. her virginity was not something special. To her the prize of being with Edward was bigger. Plus, remember she is a teen girl.. we do dumb shit.. but in her mind.. this was no big deal... I also want you to remember the prologue as well... *hint* **

**We see that Edward is starting to come around... slightly...**

**I would love to hear your thoughts.. but please.. if you HAVE to express your displeasure at this chapter.. I ask that you do it with respect and civility.. and I will treat you the same way.. flame me.. all bets are off... Till next week!**


	13. July Summer Break

**A/N: *sits down in wonder* You guys are AMAZING! I really was flored by the reactions from last chapter.. you blew me away! A majority of you actually understood what Bella was doing and why... There were a few that were a bit upset.. but I was expecting that! But how well the chapter was received.. now.. that I was not prepared for! What tickled me even more was how many of you would not be as understanding had EDWARD done the same thing.. made me laugh!**

**Much love and appreciate to my lovely beta- Itlnbrt and my pre-reading team of wonder: fanfichardcore, CullensTwiMistress and JoJo757**

**Special shout out to JR Durham for all things California! All places in this chapter are for real! TiffanyRN and JR- enjoy your cameo's love you both!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.. and by golly I don't want to.. I want Hockeyward! ENJOY!**

July- Summer Break

**EPOV**

_Red Hot Chili Peppers- Road Trippin'_

_Road trippin' with my two favorite allies  
Fully loaded we got snacks and supplies  
It's time to leave this town  
It's time to steal away  
Let's go get lost  
Anywhere in the U.S.A.  
Let's go get lost  
Let's go get lost_

"It's nice of you to have us for a visit Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock." I gave Jasper's aunt and uncle my charming smile. I'm sure having three teenage boys invade their house for a few days was enough to qualify them for sainthood. Mrs. Whitlock smiled back as I walked past her.

"Please call me Diddy, Edward. " She placed a warm hand on my arm.

I turned to face Mr. Whitlock and put out my hand to shake it. "Call me Marcus," he insisted as he shook my hand.

They were an older couple, in their mid-fifties if I had to guess. They never had kids of their own, according to Jasper, so they doted on him and Rose a lot. Marcus was a professor of History at Berkeley and Diddy owned her own accounting firm. Their stylish, but huge house attested that they did well in their professions.

"You boys must be tired from taking such an early morning flight, let me show you to your rooms." We hefted our bags and followed her through the foyer, living room, and down a flight of stairs where we walked into a sweet looking family room. There was a huge flat screen TV, with a Wii, Blu-Ray, and X-box all connected. The entertainment center that housed it was filled with DVD's and games. Deep leather couches were situated in front of it all. A pool table and bar completed the room.

She walked passed it all and into a hallway. "This is the bathroom. I'm afraid that you boys will have to share. Here is one room. Why don't you take it Emmett?"

"Thanks," he replied and shuffled in. She opened a door across the hall from his. "Edward, you can have this one." I peeked in and was pleasantly surprised to see it was rather nice. A twin bed with a dresser and small TV attached to the wall.

"Thanks, Diddy." She continued to the end of the hall where she placed Jasper in another room.

"Why don't you boys rest for a little bit, nap or hang out in the family room. Lunch will be at twelve-thirty."

"Thanks Aunt Dee." Jasper gave her a wet-sloppy kiss and she ruffled his hair. When she was out of sight, we quickly placed our bags in our rooms and met back in the main room. Emmett was already rifling through the games. Jasper and I gravitated towards the pool table.

"Want to play a game?" he asked. I nodded and we busied ourselves with choosing cues and racking up the balls.

"So, can I ask why your aunt and uncle have such a huge house for the two of them?" I watched as Jasper made sure the balls were locked tight in the triangle before he removed it. He gestured for me to break.

I lined up my shot as he began to tell me that when they realized they couldn't have kids, they decided to become foster parents. Diddy quit her job to stay at home and take care of the kids that were placed with them.

"How come they never adopted any of them?" I asked, genuinely curious. Jasper walked around the table eyeing up a shot.

"I'm not sure. I think Aunt Dee liked being a foster mom. Anyways, they built this house so that they would have enough room for the kids." I was impressed by their dedication to helping out troubled kids.

We lounged around the house for most of the day. Diddy fed us well and we hung out with Marcus who was a funny guy. The next day, Marcus took us to the Oakland Coliseum to see the A's play the Mariners from a wicked cool skybox. The box was owned by Marcus' close friend. The three of us got lots of ribbing for being Mariners fans. It only got worse as the game wore on and the Mariners were losing.

At the end, the Mariners got whipped and the three of us had to listen as Marcus went on and on about it. I let it roll off me, but Emmett was such a homer that he just couldn't let it go. He and Marcus trash talked the entire way home. Jasper and I just sat and watched it.

Later that night, we all sat down with Marcus and showed him our itinerary and game plan. He made a few suggestions for more scenic routes we could take. He then helped us pack his Cherokee. We weren't old enough to rent a car, so Diddy and Marcus offered the use of their Jeep. We turned in early so we could get an early start.

Our first stop was less than an hour drive from Berkeley. As we drove over the Bay Bridge that brought us from Berkeley to San Francisco, Emmett's face was pressed against the glass. If he was going to act like a doofus the entire time this was going to be one long trip. We checked into our hotel and then went out to explore. We toured the marina, taking pictures of some of the huge boats. We took the trolley cars all over the place, and even stopped in a few shops.

Both Jasper and Emmett were on a mission to find something for the girls in each city we visited. I had fleeting thoughts of maybe getting something for Bella, but quickly discarded the idea. I reminded myself that I wasn't going to think about her during this trip. I would worry about her when I got back. With that resolved, I went back to window shopping and trying to keep Em from breaking anything too valuable.

We ate in a café close to Golden Gate Park and then took pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge. Up close and personal that structure made you feel small and pretty insignificant. Feeling tired we turned in early, and I doubled checked our reservations for the Alcatraz tour. The next day Emmett woke us up by jumping on the bed. He interrupted a dream in which Bella was watching me from the penalty box naked. I was so upset he disrupted my dream; I took a swing at him. Too bad I was half asleep, as I missed him by a mile.

As Jasper gave him a verbal lashing, I showered and tried to wake up. My cock had other ideas as it was still hard as a rock from the dream. With a muttered curse, I took matters into my own hands, and imagined fucking Bella in the box. I swore as I came. So much for not thinking of her the entire trip.

Touring Alcatraz started out interesting but as it went on it turned boring. The jail was cool and spooky. Jasper listened with rapt attention to the tour guide while Emmett touched anything he could. I half listened to the guide and just soaked up the atmosphere. As time went by I kept feeling as if I was being watched. Like I said-spooky.

A day later and we were on the road to Santa Cruz. This was Jasper's pick as he wanted to go to surf school. I had to say, I was looking forward to that. The drive down was pretty; it was close to the ocean so it was filled with sun and the smell of salt. I relaxed in the back seat as Jasper drove. When we finally arrived, we just chilled in the hotel as it was late at night.

Early the next day, we headed over to Cowell Beach where one of the surf schools was located. There we talked to a dude who looked as if he lived his life on the beach. They had a spot for all three of us in the class that would start in an hour. We signed up and lounged around on the beach. I let the warmth of the sun lull me into a relaxed state of mind. It was peaceful not thinking about anything or anyone. It was, however, a short-lived feeling as Emmett roused me back to reality with a kick to my right shoulder.

"Fuck, Emmett. Be careful with my arm, I need it for hockey, asswipe." I scowled at him, but all he did was laugh.

"It's time, bro. Let's get our surf on." We made our way back to Cowell Beach where we met back up with surfer dude whose name was really Biff. We all tried not to laugh. He helped us pick out some rental boards and walked us thru attaching the leash to our foot. Next he brought us to a section of beach where other beginners were gathered.

He got everyone's attention and started teaching us the proper way to pop up on our boards. He demoed the correct way to align our body and the fluid movements to keep us center and upright on the board. Let me tell you, it's not as fucking easy as it looks. I mean, I prided myself on having good balance, being a hockey player kind of demanded it, but the first couple of times I tried to pop up I looked a bit spastic.

At least I managed to stay on my board, Emmett actually popped right off his. It was fucking hilarious to see. Leave it to him to fall off his board when we were on dry land. Jasper seemed to pick up the technique quickly, and I sort of hated him for that. What could I say; I was a competitive fucker.

After working on it for about thirty minutes we moved onto learning how to paddle. For this we went into the water. Even though it was before noon, the temps were already in the high 70's and climbing fast, making the water a welcome relief. Again, leave it to Emmett to make an ass of himself. Somehow he managed to paddle himself off his board.

We moved on and tried popping up in the water, which was nothing like trying to do it on land. My only consolation was that I picked it up faster than Jasper and Em. I felt smug. For those who felt comfortable we learned how to turn and speed up the board.

All in all it was a fun day learning how to surf. I fell down more times than I actually stayed up on the board, but I never laughed and had as much fun as I did that day. Even after our lesson was over, Biff allowed us to hang around and continue to pseudo-surf. By the time we called it quits, I was tired and hungry. After dinner, we decided to stick around an extra day to hang out at the beach again, and continue to learn how to surf.

That extra day turned into two and they were the best. We spent them down on the beach. We hung out with Biff and some of his friends and watched as surfer chicks schooled us in surfing. At night, we stayed on the beach as they built a bonfire and just chilled. For a brief bit, I could understand the appeal of just being a beach bum. There was a sense of freedom in not rushing through life.

With much reluctance, we said goodbye to our friends, and continued with our trip. We had a few things left to see in Santa Cruz before we left. The next day was spent on the boardwalk with all the rides and food. I watched as Emmett consumed nearly triple his weight in food. I was completely fascinated and utterly horrified. So much so, that Jasper and I took turns sitting next to him on the rides convinced he was going to spew chucks eventually. Luckily, we were wrong.

The next day we headed out to this place called the mystery spot. It was suggested by the hotel clerk. It was just outside Santa Cruz, among towering redwoods. There you took a forty-five minute tour which showed us a place where gravity didn't work. It was out of whack. It was a force that tilted everyone Southwest. Jasper was excited about watching the guide roll a billiard ball down a plank coming out one of the windows on the outside of the building. The ball rolled down until it stopped mid roll and started to roll up the board. We were in complete awe. When we went inside there were blocks against the wall. Emmett stood on one and began tilting and actually stood at an odd angle. He was almost sideways so it looked like he was climbing the wall. No one could figure out what was going on, but whatever it was, it was cool.

I was playing around with the swinging weight that only moved in one direction. It was so freaking weird. We took a ton of pictures of us acting like complete morons. Jazz and I had to pull Em away when our tour ended. He tried to get us to purchase another set of tickets so we could go back. Luckily for us, the tours for the rest of the day were sold out.

With a pouting Em, we checked out of our hotel and started on our way to Big Sur. This time it was my turn to drive. Since Monterey and Carmel were on the way, we decided to take a day to spend in each city. In Monterey we spent time walking around, seeing the aquarium and Cannery Row. Then the rest of the day was spent kayaking in Monterey Bay. The best was watching Em attempt an Eskimo roll in his kayak. He kept getting stuck upside down.

Early the next day we arrived in Carmel where Emmett had to see everything and anything that was related to Clint Eastwood. I think he had a bit of a boy crush on him. We spent some time walking around and the rest of the day on the beach surfing. It was there that I finally felt as if I got the hang of it.

After lunch they went off to call and talk to their girls which left me alone for a while. It was also the first time Bella entered my mind after a week. I let my mind drift to thoughts to her. She was a great person, sweet, kind, smart, funny, passionate and if I had to be honest, pretty. Okay, fine, she was beautiful and the cool thing was that I didn't think she knew it. That was so fucking refreshing to see. She didn't go around trying to flaunt her beauty. She didn't worry if her nails were chipped or if her hair got mussed up. She was a complete enigma to me.

She was also a really good friend. That brought me to my problem. I didn't want to lose that with her. I was finally in a place where I could admit I liked her and more than a friend. But I knew she didn't see me like that. I mean, if she did, there would have been some sort of sign. Right? I sighed as I hung my head and let the sun warm my back.

I felt well and truly stuck. The one girl that I think would be perfect and she doesn't see me like that. I sighed loudly and cursed my luck. Maybe I should swear off girls completely and focus on hockey. I snorted internally at that thought. Who was I kidding? I loved the feel of a girl's soft skin, the sounds they make, and the taste of their pussy. Yeah, there was no way I could go the rest of my life only relying on my hand and lotion.

Yes, I could go and make the first move. But see, I was a scared little pussy. I _never _had to make the first move without knowing if the girl was into me. I knew that made me sound like a douche, but I thought it was just being smart. With Bella, I had no clue how to even approach her. She evoked all these thoughts and feelings in me that scared the shit out of me. I scrubbed my face. I wouldn't find answers right now. I put her back in the locked part of my brain and went in search of my friends.

The short drive from Carmel to Big Sur passed in silence. I was sure the phone calls to their girls weighed on their minds. I could have made fun of them for being whipped. But in all honesty, I wished I had someone to miss me like Alice and Rose missed them. Hell, I even wondered if Bella even missed me a small bit.

I abandoned that train of thought as we pulled into our campground. We had decided to stay at one campground and then drive to the various trails and other sites that we wanted to see. It took us under two hours to get our campsite set up. We had all been camping together many times over the years. Although I insisted that we get a tent big enough that we each had our own space. If you'd ever slept next to Emmett, you would understand.

The whole week we were busy. We went hiking nearly every day. The scenery was amazing; it was filled with vast panoramas of ageless trees and forest surrounded by cliffs and hills. It was easy to feel small but then in the same breath feel as if you were connected to a greater thing. We spent some time down at Jade Beach looking for actual jade stones. Unfortunately, we came too late in the day and there was not much worth finding.

We also spent time at one of the public hot springs. The day we went, it was a bit dreary so we had the springs to ourselves for almost two hours before others came along. Toward the end of our stay we headed to Molera State Park. We completed the eight mile loop trail where we biked some of it and hiked the rest. I was sure that at the end of this I wouldn't have to worry about my legs being out of shape. I would be more than ready to go for hockey in the fall.

By the end of the week, we were looking forward to leaving Big Sur and head to San Luis Obispo. We were in need of showers badly and I longed for the feel of a bed and food that didn't have to be cooked over a fire. So it was no surprise that our first day in San Luis Obispo all we did was shower, eat, and lie around watching movies. We had no energy for anything else.

The next day we woke early to take a hot air balloon ride. It was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced. Seeing the Californian coastline line from the air was amazing. It no longer looked like a bustling city, but more like untamed wilderness. Both Jasper and I were busy snapping photos like mad while Emmett chatted up the pilot about how to operate a balloon.

Next we hit up a popular rock climbing spot called Seven Sisters. There were a few easy places for us beginners to hit up. Of course, even if it was for beginners, my arms and legs felt like jello when we were done. Even Emmett was exhausted. We checked out the next morning and after getting a bite to eat, we drove to this place that Jasper heard about from the internet.

It was a small little alleyway called Bubblegum Alley and it was literally an alley where the walls were covered in gum. It was disgusting and sort of cool in a bizarre way. I could see why some artsy fartsy people might see it as something exciting. You could see the creativity. People created pictures and sculptures on the wall with different colored gum instead of just adding another glob like everyone else.

Of course, both Jasper and Em couldn't leave without adding their own gum to the mix. They tried to get me to do it as well, but I just shuddered. All I could see was a wall teeming with germs and bacteria. I think it came with the territory of having a doctor for a dad. Instead I documented their contributions with a little mini video clip.

After that, we faced our longest stretch of driving to date, a three and half hour drive to Los Angeles. I, of course, made the wrong choice by sitting in the back while Em drove. He had beans with breakfast and they were making themselves known. I spent most of the trip with my head out the window.

We decided not to stay in L.A. proper, but more on the outskirts. We hoped to spend a few days there and I was looking forward to seeing the sights and having fun. I failed to take into account that Emmett was with us and he had a habit of opening his mouth at the wrong times.

We had been in L.A. for over a day and it had been a blast. That morning we decided to head to Venice Beach and do some surfing, little did I know that things were going to go downhill and fast. We had been surfing for just a little over an hour when I began looking around for Emmett. I spotted him down the beach surrounded by a group of guys with surf boards. The look on their faces was not welcoming.

"Jazz, look over there. That doesn't look good to you, does it?" He looked where I pointed and his eyes widened in alarm.

"Fuck," he muttered softly. "What the hell has he gotten himself into?" He was shaking his head.

I chuckled. "I have no idea. Do you think we should at least head over there to make sure he doesn't get his face messed up? Rose would kill us if he came back all broken and battered."

Jasper closed his eyes in resignation. "I guess we should." I felt the same way. I wasn't looking forward to getting into a fight.

By the time we made it over there, Em was standing toe to toe with one tall fucker. He stood above Em by at least three inches although Em outweighed him by at least twenty-five pounds. He had three of his friends behind him. Their wet suits were unzipped to their waists and their boards were standing like guards in the sand.

I kept my eyes on the other dudes as I sidled up to Em's side, Jasper took the other side.

"What's up Em?" I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes just briefly before going back to eyeballing the other guys. If it came down to a fight, I knew it was going to be close.

Emmett smiled. "I was just being 'schooled' about how this beach belonged to him and his goonies." I could hear the quote marks on the word schooled. "I was trying to explain that he and his little surfer flunkies could take their asses somewhere else and let us surf in peace." I watched as Em rolled his eyes.

I got a feeling in the pit of my gut that things were going to get out of hand quickly, something just didn't add up. The guy staring at Em scoffed.

"Surfer flunkies? Is that what we are?" All around him, his buddies snickered and laughed. "Why don't you put your board where your mouth is? That will solve this. Don't you think?" he had issued a challenge and there was no way Emmett was going to back down.

Em gave him a cocky smirk. "Sounds good to me."

Details were hashed out about the upcoming surf off between Em and the other dude, whose name was Bryce. I watched as Em tried hard not to laugh at his name. If he did, I was prepared to let him know that Emmett wasn't all that hot either. They agreed that each would do three rides, the one who rode their wave the longest won.

Jasper and I made our way over to where everyone was congregating. A large crowd had gathered and from what I could tell, they all knew Bryce, which made that uneasy feeling grow. Jasper surveyed the crowd and started to laugh. I looked at him and cocked my brow in confusion.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head and smiled. "I have a feeling that Em would have an easier time beating a girl than this dude. Somehow I think he's gonna get screwed."

Before I could respond, a voice behind us spoke.

"That was a pretty sexist comment ya made there cowboy. Care to test that theory?"

We both whipped around to see two girls smirking at us.

"What?" replied Jasper.

The tall blonde rolled her eyes and looked at her friend who was a petite girl with wild black hair. "Not only is cowboy stupid he must be deaf as well." They both giggled before the blonde walked up to Jasper. "I said that you were being a little sexist with your comment and asked if you cared to back up those words. You know, with a little surfing."

Jasper was wide eyed as he took in this girl who wasn't afraid to go toe-to-toe with him. He opened his mouth a few times, trying to speak but nothing came out. I started to laugh at him, which made him turn my way to glare.

"He would so love to show you his mad surfing skills." I threw him a wink. "He's Jasper and I'm Edward and you two nice ladies are?"

The blonde giggled. "I'm Jen and this is Tiffany. Got your board Jasper? I'll show you that a girl can out surf any guy."

Jasper still looked like a fish out of water as if he was having difficulty processing what was happening.

"He's got his board right over there." I clapped him on the back which seemed to break the mute spell he was under.

"Edward, what the fuck did you get me into?" He seethed as he stalked over to his board.

"Oh, have some fun." I pushed him toward Jen who was waiting for him patiently. I turned to face Tiffany. "Shall we find a place where I can watch both my friends make fools of themselves?"

Tiffany smiled at me her dark brown eyes were sparkling. "You don't want to challenge me to a surf off?" She winked.

I shook my head vigorously. "Oh hell no. I know I suck." She giggled and I tried in vain not to compare her eyes and laugh to Bella's.

We found a good spot to watch them both. Tiffany was easy to hang with, just like Bella, but I wasn't thinking about her at all.

Yeah, right.

Jasper's little duel with Jen was over before it really got started. Both times he got up on the board, he fell within seconds. His last attempt he couldn't stand up. On the other hand, Jen was a phenomenal surfer. I was in awe watching her.

Beside me Tiffany was yelling and cheering Jen on. She turned to me. "That's my girl!" I held up my hand for a high five and we slapped hands.

"She's really good. I am sure it will teach Jasper to think twice before making a comment like that again." Tiffany nodded her head in agreement and we turned to watch Em's showdown with Bryce.

Once again, Em was no match for Bryce. But what Em lacked in skill he made up in pure undiluted excitement. After he crashed he would jump up from the water hooting and hollering making it look like he was all crazy. His last attempt he even crashed in style, doing a flip in the air before landing in the water.

The crowd went crazy and when he popped up, he fucking bowed to the cheering crowd. Bryce came up to him and I watched as they talked, a smile slowly spread across Em's face. They fist pumped and Bryce threw his arm around Em as they made their way out of the water. I later learned that Bruce invited Em and us to their bonfire that night.

We had blast and Tiffany shared with us that in that part of California, surf gangs were common and could get very territorial. Bryce and his guys held court in that part of Venice beach. There I learned that two years ago he won the World Surfing Championship held in Hawaii. Em never stood a chance against him. When Em heard that, he took it all in stride.

Jasper talked most of the night with Jen and found out that she was well known in that part of California as a world class surfer in her own right. He apologized for his crass remark and used his smooth southern charm to earn her forgiveness. We spent most the night with them all and didn't make it to our hotel until after dawn.

We spent a few more days in L.A. hitting up all the touristy places just so we could say we saw them. Jasper took a picture of himself outside the Gucci store on Rodeo Drive while Em took one in front of Coach. They sent them to the girls who drooled over the pictures.

We spent the rest of our trip hitting the amusement parks: Disneyland, Six Flags, and even Knots Berry. We took the five highway all the way from L.A. to Berkeley deciding to spend our last day on the road so we had a few days to rest before we had to catch our plane back home.

As I lay in bed back at Diddy and Marcus' house, my thoughts turned to Bella. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I did like her as more than a friend. But on the other hand, I conceded I was too chicken to make a move. I pounded my head against my pillow at that thought. I hated that Bree reduced me to this guy who second guessed everything. Yet, Bella added an air of mystery to everything I felt. I had no read on her.

Yeah it was a bit cowardly to only make a move when I knew a girl liked me. But deep down I was still a teen boy trying to navigate the minefield called dating. I didn't relish the idea of being rejected, so if I could avoid it, why wouldn't I?

Taking a deep breath I decided that if Bella showed me that she was interested, I would be all over that. If not, I was just going to stay her friend. As sleep claimed me, I felt a knot of tension in my gut. I had thought making my choice would ease it. My last conscious thought was wondering if I had made the _right_ choice.

**BPOV**

_Britney Spears- Brave New Girl_

_She wants a good time  
No need to rewind  
She needs to really really find what she wants  
She lands on both feet  
Won't take a back seat  
There's a brave new girl  
And she's comin' out tonight_

_She's gonna step outside_  
_Uncover her eyes_  
_Who knew she could feel so alive_  
_Her M.O.'s changed_  
_She don't wanna behave_  
_Ain't it good to be a brave girl tonight_

The news that Edward and the boys took off for California bummed me out. I was all gung-ho to spend time with Edward and show him that he was mine or at least work toward making him mine. But like I had done countless other times, I decided to make the best of a not so good situation. Hence the reason why I was pacing in my room waiting for Alice and Rose to come over. It was time for part two of my plan.

I sat on my bed with my two best friends, while they looked at me with curious stares.

"Well, what was the emergency Bella? You said it was important." Rose's tone was impatient, but kind.

I was wringing my hands, my nerves on high alert. I wasn't sure where my sudden hesitancy was coming from. Maybe it was because I kept my fascination with Edward a secret for so long that it was hard to let it go. But I needed their help. I was at a complete loss as to how to go about getting Edward to notice me.

Luckily, Alice helped me out. "Is this about the boy you like?"

I swallowed nervously. "Yes. I want a completely new look for the rest of the summer and school. I want him to notice me. I want him," I said the last part with all the conviction I had.

Both Rose's and Alice's eyes were wide with surprise. Then a slow, mischievous smile spread across Alice's face. "You are calling in my make-over aren't you? The one you said I could do if you ever decided to change up your style."

I nodded. "Yes, I want to be a sexier Bella, but I still want to be comfortable. I don't want to look like the whores." I lowered my head, trying to find the courage in me to tell them everything, or at least almost everything; I didn't think they would understand my obsession with Edward.

"So, are you going to tell us who this guy is?" Rose looked at me with a cocked brow.

With one last breath, I mumbled out, "Edward." I closed my eyes waiting for their condemnation. Instead all I heard were their screams of delight.

"I knew it!" crowed Alice as she jumped up and down. Rose was clapping her hands with a smug look on her face.

"About fucking time you admitted to liking him!" exclaimed Rose. Alice nodded her head in agreement.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked, bewildered. Was I not as careful as I thought in my lusting of him? What did they know?

They both looked at me with "don't fuck with us" looks.

"I had a feeling it was him. You guys always seemed to get along great. I think you two would make a cute couple," said Alice with a shit eating grin on her face.

I looked over at Rose, waiting for her spill what she knew. We stared each other down, before she finally spoke. "I caught a few of the glances you threw his way. I had a suspicion but I wasn't real sure. Alice is right you guys would be cute together." She shrugged as if it was no big deal.

Relieved at their acceptance of my pursuing Edward, I focused on the game plan. I sat down by them, needing the comfort of my girls. I couldn't help but frown at the idea that this scheming could result in me not getting together with Edward.

"What's wrong, Bells?" asked Alice in a soothing manner.

I huffed in frustration. "While it's all cool you think we would make a cute couple, it means nothing if Edward doesn't like me back. I have no clue how to go about getting him." I looked at them both. "I need your help girls. Can you help me get Edward?"

Alice and Rose looked at each other with, calculating smiles on their faces. "Oh yeah we can," replied Rose while Alice nodded her head enthusiastically.

So while the boys were away in the land of the sun. I was being made over by Alice and Rose. I was lucky that Renee and Phil sent me back with some money for school clothes. Alice made good use of that and then supplemented my new wardrobe with items from their closets they didn't want or need. Gone were the baggy jeans and sweat pants, in place came tight jeans, skirts and leggings. Gone were my t-shirts and hoodies, to be replaced with tight fitted shirts, tanks and sweaters. Alice threw out my Converse shoes and replaced them with ankle boots with low heels and cute ballet flats.

Rose took charge of my physical make over. She took me to her stylist and my hair was given a new style, something more dramatic and sexier. They enhanced my natural highlights so they popped more. She then took me to get waxed. When I complained about the pain, she told me that was the price we had to pay to be beautiful. I wasn't so sure if I agreed with her about that. Although I would admit, I loved the feeling of being smooth.

They both helped with make-up seeing as I never wore much to begin with. I didn't want to look like a hooker or obviously made up. I wanted something subtle and understated. They both agreed with me and showed me how a little make-up could go a long way.

Lastly, we brain stormed on how to get Edward to notice me. My biggest fear was that he saw me only as a friend. They both felt that Edward needed to see me as Bella, the girl he could fuck, not Bella, the good friend. After hashing it out and going over countless ideas, they decided on something simple but effective.

When the boys got back there were two parties scheduled before school started. That was when we would set our plan into motion. The only down side was that I wasn't allowed to hang out with the boys, including Jasper and Emmett. To make it work, the new Bella had to make an entrance and a big one at that.

**A/N: Hmmm.. soo much going on... Edward has pretty much admitted he likes Bella.. and well.. Bella is stepping up her game and now her ladies are in on it! I will caution you that the next 3 chapters are filled with nothing but UST.. strap yourself in people.. its gonna be one hell of a ride!**

**If you want teasers.. come find me on FB in our group: Sweetward's Mistresses... I give out teasers on Fridays!**

**Leave me some love... come on.. you know you want to! *mwah* See ya next week!**


	14. August Summer Break

**A/N: I am back! LOL... You guys are just about ready to throw Edward and Bella in a locked room.. hehe! Well.. all I can say is that the next 3 chapters are soo filled with UST.. you may need to strap yourself in!**

**Love like always to my fabulous beta- Itlnbrt- who loves me even if she hates all the UST! To my pre-readers who showers me with support: CullensTwiMistress, JoJo757 and fanfichardcore! *mwah* And this chapter is for all the ladies in the Sweetwards group- especially Mid Night-Cougar- who plies with me with Robporn to post!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just make Edward wear skates. ENJOY!**

August- Summer Break

**EPOV**

_Josh Groban-My Confession_

_I have been wrong about you.  
Thought I was strong without you.  
For so long nothing could move me.  
For so long nothing could change me.  
Now I feel myself surrender  
Each time I see your face.  
I am captured by your beauty,  
Your unassuming grace.  
And I feel my heart is turning,  
Falling into place.  
I can't hide it  
Now hear my confession._

Being back at home was a godsend. Not only because I no longer had to deal with Emmett's snoring or Jasper hogging all the water, but I got to sleep in my own bed. I missed my bed. That's not to say I didn't love the road trip, I did. I was just glad it was over as well. The sucky thing was that I only had a month to decompress and get myself ready for senior year.

The first few days, I did nothing but sleep. I knew it drove my mom crazy, but I had tons of sleep to catch up on. I made sure to help her out in between my naps to show her what a good kid I was. I didn't think she bought it, but hey, it was worth a try.

With Jazz and Em making up for lost time with their girls, it left me a lot of alone time. That was never a good thing. Even though I resolved to let Bella make the first move, it didn't stop the amount of time I spent thinking about her. For a fleeting few seconds, I wished that we were together and that we were making up for lost time right now.

Of course, those kinds of thoughts never did me any good. They usually left me feeling horny. So I tried to shut down those thoughts quickly. But that day, I couldn't stop thinking of her like that. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't jacked off properly in over a month, or maybe it was that I was missing the feel of a pussy wrapped around my dick. I refused to believe it was because I wanted Bella in that way.

Whatever the reason, my cock was hard and leaking while images of Bella naked danced in my mind. Almost without my consent, my hands gripped my hard dick and slowly started to stroke it up and down, swiping my thumb across the leaking slit. Shivers of lust raced down my spine as my eyes closed and let the images play out.

_I was in the workout room at school I was sweaty and tired. As I placed the weight bar back in the cradle, I felt her presence. Looking up I saw Bella, standing in the doorway, her lower lip caught between her teeth. Slowly she walked over to me, silently stripping off her clothes. When she stood before me, she was naked. _

_Her tits were firm and just right, capped with perfect rosy nipples that were standing at attention. My mouth watered with the desire to suck on them. My eyes traveled down from her chest to her waist, and then to her hips, which flared out nicely. There was more than enough hip for me to grab onto to fuck her silly._

_Suddenly my clothes were off me and Bella was staring at my rock hard cock. It throbbed and twitched under her scrutiny. Slowly I gripped my cock and stroked it lightly up and down. My eyes were glued to her eyes as she watched me jack off. It turned me on so much I was leaking all over my aching cock._

_Bella licked her lips and I wanted to feel them around my dick._

"_Suck me, Bella."_

_She smirked and then fell to her knees as her warm wet mouth engulfed my cock in one smooth motion. She started to hoover my cock, sucking hard and fast. Her hands joined her mouth and in tandem, they worked over my dick. I felt the familiar tightening in my gut letting me know that if she kept moving on me I was going to jizz in her mouth. It wasn't as if I didn't want to do that, but I wanted to feel her pussy. I pulled her off me._

_My hands traced her body, so soft and supple. Her nipples were hard and pointy, begging me to lick them. So I did and then sucked them in deep and flicked them repeatedly with my tongue. Bella's soft sighs and moans of pleasure spurred me on. I was so close to her, I could smell her lust. I wanted to drink from her. I kissed my way from her perky tits down her soft stomach and then to her promise land. I inhaled deeply, she smelled even better up close and personal._

_When my tongue found her clit, her hands grabbed my hair to keep her steady. My hands spanned her waist as I delved even deeper into her pussy. I licked and nibbled at her soft folds, tasting her sweet juices on my tongue. I looked up at her and smiled. Her head was thrown back, her eyes tightly closed, mouth parted slightly, and the moans … they were driving me wild._

_I started to increase my motions; my lips and tongue were all over her pussy and clit. She was leaking like a sieve and I wanted to make sure that I never wasted a drop. Faster and faster I worked her over, her pants had turned into porn star moans, and my cock was rock hard and leaking all over the place. _

_I felt her pussy begin to flutter; her hands had turned into claws against my head. Her juices were a steady drip against my tongue. Bella's cries grew louder and louder, her cries turning into a keening wail that suddenly morphed into a shrill ringing._

_I pulled away from her pussy and the ringing continued. I looked around the room and I couldn't find the source of the sound, it drove me crazy. Then I heard a disembodied voice speaking._

"You have reached the Cullen's. Please leave a message at the tone and …"

I bolted up once I realized it was the answering machine. My cock was still hard and leaking, but the feelings from the daydream were slowly subsiding. The tone sounded and I heard the doctor's office reminding me that I had my sports physical appointment the next day. I listened while they left their message and I scrambled up to my shower. I had to get rid of this hard on before I did anything else. As I jacked off, I made myself think of Jennifer Lawrence who looked the complete opposite of Bella. As I came, her name was on the tip of my tongue, but I bit down to keep from shouting it out.

It was then I realize how absolutely fucked I was in terms of Bella and I had no clue what I was going to do about it.

I tried to stay as busy as I could to keep my mind off Bella. I wasn't always successful, but I tried. I restarted my hockey workout routine once again trying to lose the few pounds I put on during the road trip. I hoped that by the time school started I would be back to running over eight miles. My goal was when hockey season started I would be up over ten.

Jasper and I started weight training and whenever he would start talking about the girls, I would ignore him. Eventually, he got the message and he never brought them up again. Emmett was not so easy to dissuade. He constantly talked to me about Bella and tried to figure out if I had a thing for her. It got to the point that I would let him ramble on and on and never said anything back. He took my silence as proof that I was into Bella, I wanted my silence to mean that I refused to tell him shit.

In all honesty, I was scared and confused. I knew that I liked Bella more than I let on. But getting back into a relationship just scared me to no end. I didn't want to hand a girl the power to break me and I knew if I got involved with Bella, it would happen. I could see myself falling for her and falling hard.

About two weeks before school started Em flew into my room with a shit-eating grin.

"Dude we are going to a party tomorrow. Mike is throwing it and we are going. We are seniors this year and we are going to start it with a bang." He flopped on my bed and looked at me, daring me to refuse his decree.

As much as I disliked Newton, he did throw a mean party. Chances were I could avoid him for most of the night and still have some fun.

"I'm in," I replied.

He threw me a huge smile. "It's going to be epic, I can feel it!"

The next night found me in Em's car as we drove to the party. Jasper was meeting us there. There were cars all over the place and you could hear the bass pumping houses away. Em was bouncing in his seat like a little kid, as we got closer. As soon as he parked the car, he was out and bounding towards the door.

"Come on slow poke, there is a party waiting for us."

I smiled and made my way over to him. As we entered the house, it was wall-to-wall bodies. The main floor had been converted into a dance floor and people were already dancing and gyrating against each other. We made our way along the perimeter of the floor looking for Jazz or even the girls. As we passed the beverage area, both Em and I grabbed Cokes. With the potential of athletic scholarships on the line, neither of us was willing to jeopardize them with an underage drinking citation.

I scanned the room as I sipped from the can, when I saw Jazz waving us over from the other side.

"Em, I see Jazz on the other side." I nodded toward where I saw his hand and we carefully made our way over. He was standing there with Alice and Rose, both of whom smiled widely when they saw me. I looked away as Em and Rose kissed their hellos, not needing to be privy to their suck face fest.

As I returned to scanning the room, my eyes caught fell on a sight I never thought I would see. Bella was standing with a group of people talking and smiling. The thing that was unusual was the way she looked. Gone were the familiar worn jeans and t-shirts and instead she was in a pair of skintight jeans that hugged her every curve and hung low on her hips. The tank top she was wearing was just as tight, showing off the cleavage that starred in so many of my fantasies. Her hair was styled with a massive array of curls that framed her face. My cock hardened immediately. When our eyes met, I couldn't help the gasp that escaped. She was absolutely beautiful. It was like she blossomed into this sexy girl overnight.

She smiled softly at me and I felt my mouth returning the favor but then she turned away and I was left feeling cold. It was as if she saw right past me. I couldn't stop the small spasm of pain that flared in my gut. Yet, even with that twinge of pain, my eyes were glued to her every move.

The more I watched her, the more I realized I was seeing a brand new Bella. Gone was the timid shy girl and in its place was a confident, sexy woman. With ease she would flirt with the gaggle of guys that surrounded her. Mike touched her arm and she graced him with a smile, Ben sidled up next to her and snaked his arm around her and she relaxed into his touch. When Eric leaned down to whisper in her ear over the roar of the music, I could hear her laugh as clear as a bell.

Anger and loathing coursed through my body as she flirted with every guy that came to talk to her. My body shook with an un-named emotion and a desire to push them all away from her. I tried not to look at her, but no matter how many times I looked away, my eyes eventually found their way back to her. The few times our eyes met, I longed for her to throw a flirty smile my way. Instead, I got the soft smiles I had always gotten from her. It felt as if she had doused me with ice-cold water.

I nearly launched myself across the room when I saw Mike kiss her cheek. I wanted to bust his face and scrub her face with bleach to erase all evidence that he touched her. My eyes drank in the sensual way she moved to the music as she danced or how she swayed her hips with her dance partner. I wanted it to be my hands on her hips as we danced. Jealously and longing slammed my body full force as I watched her flirt with everyone but me.

Gone was the Bella who I thought was my friend and it was replaced with the sexy Bella of my dreams. This was how I thought of her when I dreamt of fucking her hard and fast in the weight room. This confident and seductive Bella was the one I pictured on her knees sucking me off.

As the night wore on, I worked harder and harder not to watch her, fearful I would start a scene, and haul her off somewhere, and make her want me like I wanted her. But with stark clarity I remembered my oath from California. If she didn't show any interest in me, I wasn't going to make a fool of myself and make a play for her.

But even with that resolution firmly imbedded my mind, it didn't stop me from watching her as she made her way over to where I was standing. My eyes drank her in and memorized the curves of her body. Desire to skim my hands over them flooded my body and I prayed that she didn't notice my cock's reaction to her.

I wanted to greet her, but my tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth. Luckily Emmett saved me from embarrassment.

"Looking good, Bella." Emmett appraised her and gifted her with a dazzling smile.

"Thanks, Emmett." I watched as she did a little flirty turn. "I am glad you like what you see." Then she gave him a wink.

His booming laugh made her smile along with him. Everyone around us nodded in agreement that they also liked what they saw. I wanted to rip all of their eyes out. I could feel my body shudder with barely repressed desires.

"Quite the minx you've become. The summer has been good to you," commented Emmett as he waved a hand towards Bella's new look.

She waved a hand at him, dismissively. "The minx was always there, she just decided it was time to come out and play."

At her words, I couldn't help the quick intake of breath at the thought of Bella and me playing sexy games. My cock throbbed and strained against my zipper. I couldn't help staring at her, my breathing was slightly erratic, and my brow furrowed in frustration that I couldn't have her. She turned to look at me and my body wanted to lurch forward and draw her even closer.

"Hey, Edward. Did you have a good summer?" Her tone was calm, nowhere in the vicinity of being flirty, and I wondered what it was about me that she didn't find appealing. What did all those other guys have that I didn't?

"Umm, yea, it was okay. How was yours?" My voice was raspy and rough; I hoped no one could hear the lust that was dripping from every word.

"Not bad, thanks for asking." Just then, a song began to play, and I watched as she grabbed James' hand. "I love this song, dance with me?" She lowered her lashes and gave him a coy smile. A low grumble settled in my chest and I wanted to separate her from James. He was nothing more than a man whore and Bella was far too good for him. He should be kissing her feet, not leering at her like she was his next conquest.

"Sure thing. Lead the way," he replied and Bella giggled at him. She walked backwards towards the dance floor holding both his hands, her hips already starting to sway to the music. I had no idea what song was playing. Instead, I had to watch them for the next few minutes as they danced and sang with music. I could feel the scowl on my face grow deeper. For a brief moment all I wanted to do was possess her, bend her to my will, and make her ache for me like I was.

When the song was over, she walked back over to where the rest of us were standing. I found myself hoping that she would look my way that she could see me, and see the desire I had for her. But she ignored me as if I was nothing more than just another face in the crowd.

"Thanks James, I will dance with you again anytime." She gave him a small kiss on the cheek and a wink. Another growl threatened to erupt. She turned towards Alice and Rose, "I have to go you two, see you later. See ya Emmett, Jasper. Next time you both owe me a dance. Bye, Edward."

I felt like a pussy as my heart quickened at the sound of my name falling from her lips. But the tone of her voice showed all she thought of me as was her friend. But if I had held any hope that she could look at me as more, it was dashed with her next actions. As she made her way out the door, she laughed, touched, and hugged almost everyone who came near her.

It was obvious to me; she only wanted me as a friend.

Of course, that didn't stop me from joining in when everyone around us exploded in conversation about Bella. I tried to keep quiet, not let the others see how much I wanted her. But when they all looked at me when I was too quiet, I couldn't help the rush of words that tumbled out.

"She looked amazing. Everyone wanted her. She morphed into a fine looking girl. Although, if James had gotten any more handsy with her, I might have stepped in. Did you see the way he looked at her, like he wanted to eat her?"

If I had looked at my friends closely after my tirade, I might have seen their smug faces; instead, I stared at the ground and willed myself not to go after her. Later that night my dreams were filled with Bella. They were wild, frantic, and needy. Even though it was all a dream, I could sense my need to possess her, to consume her. I wanted her to be mine.

About two weeks later we found ourselves back at Jess' house, this time for the last party before school began in a few days. When I arrived with Jasper, we found a scene similar to Mike's party. The music was blaring, the couches had been pushed to the walls where people were sitting and talking. The main areas had been turned into a dance floor and there were bodies grinding and moving to the beat.

Although I didn't want to admit it, my eyes immediately scanned the room for Bella. I hoped she would be here. But after scanning the room a few times, I had to admit she hadn't arrived yet. Jasper found Emmett sitting with James and a few other guys. We sat and talked about school and the upcoming football and hockey seasons.

A few minutes later, the air grew heavy and charged. I knew deep in my bones, Bella had arrived. My entire body thrummed with anticipation as my eyes sought her out. When I did, I nearly wept tears of pure sexual frustration. Bella was sex on a mother fucking stick.

Her hair was piled on her head, it was supposed to look messy, but to me it looked sexy, her make-up understated, but alluring. But it was what she was wearing that made my cock harden in my jeans. It started with the choker she wore, that encircled her throat; it made me want to trace it with my nose. Her shirt hugged her body and ended above her belly button. The shimmery material made sure that everyone took notice of her, and I could feel the desire to cart her away begin to grow. It didn't end there, because she had on a tight jean skirt that ended above the knee, allowing my eyes to drink in her long legs encased in crisscrossing ribbons attached to high-heeled shoes.

There was exposed skin all over her body and all I wanted to do was mark it up. My eyes roamed all over her and I didn't care that anyone could see me looking at her. As she drew closer, I licked my lips, almost imagining the taste of her on my tongue. My cock throbbed and I wouldn't have been surprised if it was leaking. All I could think of was that I had to have her.

She wasn't with our group for long before she flitted off. Unconsciously I followed her. First, it was with my eyes, and then I found myself trying to stay close to her. The need I had to touch her and keep her close was clouding my thoughts. As the night wore on, I felt as if Bella was playing with me. She would let me get just so close to her before she took off. I felt as if she was being dangled in front of me on a stick and I was being lead around by my cock. It was maddening, it was enticing, and it was fucking frustrating.

By the end of the night, I was a mess, my nerves were shot to shit, my cock was glued to my boxers from leaking so much, and Bella was proving to be a successful cock tease. But when I saw her walking toward me with her eyes trapping me in her gaze, my body stilled. My mouth, which had been filled with drool, was suddenly a barren wasteland and my heart threatened to bust out of my chest.

She said her goodbyes to those around us, and she was so close I could smell her so I inhaled deeply, taking her into me. But when she stopped in front of me, all sounds and sights vanished. There was just her and me in this small bubble. I never wanted to leave. Her soulful brown eyes peered deep into mine and I wondered what she saw. I watched as she leaned toward my ear, her breath ghosted over my body and I fought to keep my body from erupting in shivers. Silently she placed her hand on my arm, the warmth from her touch scorching my skin.

"See you later, Edward. I hope we get to see each other a lot at school." With that, she pulled away while trailing her fingers down my arm. Her eyes were hooded and she looked at me through lowered lashes. My brain was still trying to compute her words as she gave me a wink and pulled her fingers off me at last and turned away to leave.

I showed no shame as my fingers reflexively grasped at the empty air she stirred in her wake. I knew with stark clarity, I was completely fucked.

**BPOV**

_Maroon 5: Moves Like Jagger_

_You wanna know how to make me smile  
Take control, own me just for the night  
And if I share my secret  
You're gonna have to keep it  
Nobody else can see this_

_So watch and learn_  
_I won't show you twice_  
_Head to toe, oooh baby rub me right_  
_But if I share my secret_  
_You're gonna have to keep it_  
_Nobody else can see this_

"Bella?" I heard Alice call from downstairs. I was busy getting dressed.

"Up here," I shouted. I heard her stomping up the stairs like a herd of elephants as she raced to my room.

"Oh my god, Bella! You should have seen Edward after you left!"

It was the day after Mike's party and I was a nervous wreck. I went a few rounds with my vibe before I fell asleep. But once I woke up, the nerves were back. I knew Alice would be over and she would tell me what happened afterwards.

I was surprised when Rose followed right behind her.

"Oh, yeah, Bells. He was all about you last night." There was a wicked smirk on her face. "He so wanted a piece of you. Fuck, he wanted _all _of you!" She giggled and Alice joined her.

I just looked at them, trying to comprehend their words. When they finally calmed down, they gave me the rundown of what happened after I left. By the time they were done, I was feeling much better. So much so, I asked them whether we needed to continue with the plan. He liked me, I liked him, I could make my move, and all would be good. We could be a couple before school even started.

They looked at me and reminded me of the grand master plan.

"Bella, it's not enough for him to _like_ you, he needs to _want _you." Reminded Rose, her tone a tad patronizing.

While deep down I agreed with them, I just wanted Edward and I wanted him now. Alice came to stand before me, and her hands were on my shoulders.

"Keep your eye on the prize, Bella. He sees you, as more than a friend, now we need him to want you. Trust us, this will work, okay." Her eyes peered deep into mine. Her presence was calming and I felt myself relax bit by bit.

I nodded my head. "Okay, eye on the prize."

Alice hugged me and just like that, I knew it would work out. It had too.

We spent the rest of the day at First Beach talking about the party and the one that Jess was throwing in a few weeks. That was our last chance to put the next part of the plan in motion. I tried not thinking about it too much. If I did, it made me feel nauseous.

Alice and Rose helped me stay busy so I didn't think too long about Edward and what we were doing. But I was growing impatient. I could almost taste his kisses on my lips and I wanted to feel his arms around me. But their ever calming and rational words went a long way to soothe my restless spirit.

By the time Jess's party came and went, I was wound tighter than a spring. I could still feel the heat from Edward's gaze all over my body. I could feel the tension between us, as it vibrated and shook me to my core. How I ever found the willpower to leave that night, I'll never know. But I did.

When the girls came over, they were all smiles as they recounted how Edward looked as I left. They explained that his eyes never left me and that he even took a few steps toward me, like he was going to go after me. Luckily Jasper, called his name and he turned back around.

"Luckily?" I questioned. "Why is it lucky that Jazz stopped him from coming after me? Isn't that what we wanted him to do?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Yes it is, but not right away. We want him to stew in his juices." She gave us both a wink telling us she meant that figuratively as well. The idea that I had Edward so horny that his cock leaked had my panties wet.

As my friends babbled around me, all I could think was that I wasn't sure how patient I would be once school started. Being that close to Edward was going to be insane. I knew I wasn't going to wait long to make him mine, no matter what anyone said.

_Watch out, Edward, I'm coming for you._

**A/N; Ohh SNAP... *waves hand around* The UST is thick in here people! So... what did ya think? If you are fans of the one shot, you know that we got to see the parties from Bella POV.. so.. this is what was going through Edward's mind!**

**Leave me some love and I'll be back next week! *waves* Toodles!**


	15. September Senior Year

**A/N: Hey all! *waves* I have to say right off the bat.. WELCOME to all the new people in the stands! Mid Night-Cougar write a beautiful review of hockeyard for her blog and sent many new folks on over! I am happy to have you here! Find a seat, grab some hot chocolate and settle on in. Also, you all might want to strap on in... the UST is getting thick!**

**To my lovely beta Itlnbrt who makes me giggle and love her for her never ending patience with my comma issues! To my pre-readers of awesomeness: JoJo757, fanfichardcore and CullensTwiMistress- I love you and thanks for all the support!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just play in her ice arena! (get it?!) ENJOY!**

September Senior Year

**BPOV**

_Sky Ferreria: Obsession_

_Listen up I'm gonna' tell you bit about myself  
I got a situation, ain't concerning nobody else  
Just you and what you can do for me_

_I had the life of ordinary, I spat it out_  
_Now my condition's kind of scary, I need you now_  
_Not love but I need something else_

_So here's my confession_  
_This time, this time_  
_Don't just want you to love me_  
_I want to be your obsession_

I had a vague idea of how I wanted the start of my senior year to go. I was supposed to have Edward, the whores would know that he was mine, and we would have every class together. The very first fucking day of school, all my dreams were dashed. I didn't have Edward, in fact it seemed I had only driven him further away, I had no classes with him, and the whores buzzed around him like he was road kill. Something had to give before I snapped.

The only redeeming thing about my schedule was I had Rose and Alice in math and history. So we filled our time in between class with plans on how to get Edward and me together. Too bad, it seemed as if fate was conspiring against me. Even though I shared the same lunch period as Edward, for the first week or so of school, he never joined us. He spent a lot of time with the other hockey players at another table.

I was still able to watch him from afar, but I was so sick and tired of it. I wanted him next to me, touching me, and kissing me. I tried to keep calm at school, but once I was at home the frustration and disappointment washed through me. I couldn't help the tears that leaked out. It felt good to release those pent up emotions, but it brought me no closer to Edward.

So I once again found myself making do with what circumstances gave me. I tried to be friendly the times that I did see and speak to Edward. The first couple of times, he ignored me or only responded with monosyllabic answers. I even tried to brush up next to him when we were talking outside one day after school. His brow furrowed as he looked down at me. I didn't understand if he was upset or repulsed by me.

I expressed my frustration to Rose and Alice one day after school. We were all huddled up in Rose's room after saying goodbye to the boys, they were on their way to play basketball. I had tried to strike up a conversation with Edward about how the first week and a half of school went for him. He gave me a perplexed look, before he turned away and replied, "Fine."

There was no polite question back at me. Instead, he shuffled from foot to foot, looking as if he'd rather be anywhere but standing next to me. When the three of them left, I stomped up to Rose's room, threw myself down on her bed, and tried hard to keep from crying.

When Alice sat down next to me and asked me what was wrong, I couldn't help the few tears that managed to escape. She rubbed my back, as I felt Rose settle in next to me.

"I'm just so confused," I wailed. "He acts as if he doesn't even like me, even as a friend. What am I doing wrong?"

My question was greeted with silence for a few moments before Rose spoke, "Hun, I think it's him and not you."

I opened my eyes and looked at her, my brow cocked. "Care to explain that?" My tone was acidic.

She took a deep breath before she spoke, holding my gaze the whole time. "I just think that he's not sure what to make of you. I mean, for how many months you guys talked and stuff and then this summer you are like wham bam, hottie and all flirty." She shrugged her shoulders. "Like I said, boys take a long time to work things out and they are usually wrong."

Alice piped in. "She is right. I think you just need to keep giving him little hints that you are into him. Maybe, you could even work up the nerve to tell him you like him." She was biting her lips when she said that and I could feel my eyes go wide in fear and surprise. My head was already shaking.

"Oh no, I'm not that brave, Alice." I whipped my head to look at Rose who had a speculative look on her face.

"Never say never, Bella. Who knows maybe the perfect opportunity will present itself for you make a move. The question is, will you?"

The question haunted me for quite some time. Did I have the courage to tell Edward how I felt? Most days the answer was a resounding no. But then there were days when I swore I caught him looking at me and there was such tenderness or maybe it was longing in his eyes. It was on those days that I wished I had the nerve to tell him.

So while I hoped that my courage would find me, I kept trying to let Edward know that I liked him. Of course I had no way of knowing if he got the subtle hints, he was awfully quiet. But I tried to stay positive, reminding myself that I put lot of time and effort into trying to get Edward to notice me.

As the days wore on it seemed to be working. The grimaces and scowls I saw on his face were replaced with small tentative smiles; I even got a few little waves. It went a long way to bolster my self-esteem and courage, almost to the point where I contemplated talking to him.

I was getting so desperate that when Alice and Rose talked to me about a birthday party for me, I jumped at the chance. Maybe in a smaller intimate venue, I could pull him aside and talk to him. They asked to take care of everything and I relented under two conditions. The first was that it not be some insanely wild party and second that Edward be invited. I even told them to invite Jazz and Em just so he wouldn't feel alone.

They both agreed with wicked glints in their eyes. I tried to give them my best stink eye to remind them not to make a spectacle of my birthday, but they laughed, kissed my cheek, and sauntered off. I sent a silent plea to the heavens that I wouldn't regret allowing them plan this out.

When the day of the party arrived, I was a nervous wreck. I drove Alice crazy second-guessing her wardrobe choices. I was sure that Rose was about to gag me to quell my never ending rambling and endless questions. When they both deemed that I was ready, I wanted to vomit.

The party was a game theme and being held in Rose's basement. The pool table and dartboard was all set-up and ready to go. Another table was loaded with several types of board games. On the other side of the room a table was laden with all kinds of food with several coolers holding water and pop on the floor.

Jasper was over by the sound system setting up a playlist. I walked over to him, looking over his shoulder. "I hope you have decent music on there and light on the rap." He chuckled at me.

"Yeah, I went light on the rap. I added several of the bands you suggested. Some of them were pretty good." His surprised tone made me laugh at him.

"See, trust in me and my music and I'll convert you from country hick to slick city boy." I ruffled his hair. Before he could fire back a retort, the doorbell rang and then seconds later pounding feet could be heard. People were arriving; it was time to get this party started.

Hours later and things were still in full swing. Emmett, Rose, Ben, and Angela were wrapped up in a heated pool game. Angela was taking everyone by surprise with her mad pool skills. Ben and her had yet to lose a game. Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Layla were involved in a rather intense game of darts. I had tried to play earlier, but when one of my darts nearly ended up in Rose's ass, I stopped playing.

Instead, I was across the room from Edward playing Clue. Don't judge me, it's my favorite game and I always win. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He had warmed up considerably towards me, even giving me his trademark smirk when he started to razz me about my lack of dart skills. With every smile and word he bestowed upon me, I was gathering up the courage to talk to him.

Just as I was making an accusation of whodunit, a large cheer erupted over by the pool table and all eyes moved to see Emmett and Rose high-fiving each other. Emmett of course, seeing that all eyes were on him took advantage of the situation to shout out his exuberance.

"We won! We beat your sorry assess!" He jumped up and down, hugging and twirling Rose while rubbing the victory in Angela's face, as she looked absolutely dumbstruck that she lost. Looking at Ben I could see that he was trying to console her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward walk away from the dart game and head upstairs. I figured if I was going to make my move, the timing wasn't going to get much better. When I bounded up the stairs I didn't see him, but the light for the bathroom was on. I busied myself in the kitchen, which had a perfect sightline of the bathroom for me to wait for him.

When the door opened, I called out to him. "Um, hey Edward, can you help me?" I hastily pulled some stuff out of the fridge.

He turned and headed my way while he looked at the stuff I got from the refrigerator. My body shook with nerves and anticipation. The reality hit me like a ton of bricks; everything I had done so far was riding on this moment. I felt my pulse soar and my chest tighten the closer that Edward got to me.

"What can I help you with Bella?" The sound of my name rolling off his tongue did things to my girlie bits. They throbbed and got all excited.

With his intense green eyes boring into me, my courage evaporated and I meekly squeaked out, "Um.. c-can you h-help me carry this stuff?" I could feel a blush break out across my face as I stammered my way through the question.

If he noticed anything unusual in my behavior her said nothing, instead he started to pick up some of the containers I laid out. "Sure, no problem." He gave me a mega-watt smile and I nearly swooned.

The rest of the night I mentally berated myself for chickening out when I had the chance to talk to him. I tried to call up the sexy little vixen I unleashed at the summer parties, but she was nowhere to be found. When it was time to say good night, I could barely look Edward in the eyes, so sure my epic failure was written in neon across my forehead.

But when he stood in front of me, I could feel the pull, the need to look at him. Through lowered lashes, I saw his tentative smile. He looked nervous, maybe even bashful, and for the first time I allowed myself to feel hope that he could like me.

"I had a great time Bella. I hope you had a great birthday." His smile nearly drove me to my knees.

Instead, I smiled back and bit my lip, nerves causing me to gnaw on it. "Thanks, Edward. It was great that you came and I had fun spending time with you."

He licked his lips and I wanted to press mine to his. Instead, I stopped breathing as his hand clasped mine and squeezed it briefly. All too soon, the pressure and warmth from his hand was gone and I wanted to cry from the loss.

It was only days later that I was able to find something that allowed me to look at my party as a semi-successful venture, even if I chickened out. I had overheard Jasper and Edward talking about college hockey scouts. Now while on the surface it didn't sound like much, it did bring to light something I had neglected to think out.

Life after high school.

I spent so much time concentrating on getting Edward that I failed to focus on life after we graduate. I wanted to go to college and I knew Edward was good enough to get a scholarship for hockey. And if I was serious about us being a couple together, and I was, then I needed to plan further ahead.

So, instead of dwelling on the rather spectacular failure that was my birthday, I put all my time and energies into researching the colleges that were going to be scouting Edward. Again, luck was on my side, as I ran into Alec at the grocery store and we got to talking. I asked him if he knew much about the scouting process and he directed me to a couple of websites to help me out. That was all the push I needed.

It was there that I learned that Edward ranked in the top one hundred high school hockey players to watch. I also discovered that since hockey wasn't common in the Pacific Northwest that feat was even greater. After a little more digging I found a list of the colleges that were going to be scouting him: Denver, Colorado College, Nebraska, Wisconsin, and several in Minnesota. I wrote down each school and began my own research. I even requested an application for each of them. I was going to be prepared no matter who offered Edward a scholarship.

I knew that some would see this as obsessive stalker behavior, but I knew deep down I was going to get Edward and I wasn't planning on this to be a high school fling. No way. I was going to keep him as long as I could.

By the end of my little adventure, I had the lists of schools down in order of my preference, in order based off the scouting reports, and by lists of possible majors for me. I was as prepared as I could be, right now. I still had one little problem. Edward and I still weren't together.

So with a newfound sense of confidence, I figured I would make another attempt at talking to Edward, and I had the perfect reason. I still had to thank him for the lovely bracelet he gave me for my birthday. It was silver and had small blue butterflies and flowers all around it. It was stunning. I also knew he remembered that I told him how much I loved butterflies. That had to mean something, right? That he remembered some off-handed comment I made months ago.

So when I saw him leave the lunchroom early, I snuck out and followed him to his locker. I slowed as I approached him, trying to settle the nerves in my stomach. I fingered the bracelet, reminding myself he was whom I wanted.

Before I was completely calm, he turned and saw me walking towards him. He smiled and my heart melted. As I walked forward, I kept repeating to myself I could do this, and I had to do this.

"Hey Bella," he greeted me, his warm smile so open and friendly.

"Um, hey Edward." I shifted nervously from foot to foot, trying to find the words. The coolness of the bracelet as it moved across my wrist reminded me of my excuse to talk to him. "Um, thanks so much for the bracelet." I held up my arm. "I love it. It's beautiful."

Edward blushed slightly and my heart did summersaults. "Yeah, I … um, knew you liked butterflies so when I saw it …" He trailed off slightly and I strained to hear him speak. "It ... um made me think of you." He all but whispered this last bit and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"I really like it Edward. Thank you." I touched his covered arm and I longed to feel his skin on mine. Looking into his deep green eyes, feeling the energy zing between us, I knew I was never going to get another chance to tell him.

"I …I wanted to tell you that I …" I paused, the words caught in my throat like I felt caught in his gaze. I lowered my eyes, sure there was no way I could tell him how I felt if I had to look at him.

"You what, Bella?" His soft words washed over my body and I had to repress the shiver of desire that wanted to slide down my spine.

I licked my lips several times, cleared my throat before I could even begin to speak again. I looked up at Edward through my lashes and he was watching me so intently. It gave me the strength to admit my feelings.

I smiled at him and looked at my feet. "I wanted to tell you that I like you." That was how it was supposed to go but the fucking fire alarm cut me off as I said the crucial words. So instead of him smiling and professing his mutual admiration for me, he was covering his ears and grimacing.

The hallway filled with students making their way outside. Stupid-mother-fucking-cock-blocking-fire-alarm! Edward and I made our way outside with the rest of the students. My ears were ringing from standing under the alarm. I lost Edward in the crowd of people rushing out of school. I felt a hand on my arm and when I looked it was Alice and Rose. They were directing me toward my car. My eyes tried to scan for Edward, but he was nowhere to be found.

"We saw you follow Edward out. Did you tell him that you liked him?" Alice's eyes were wide and hopeful. I hated to crush her romantic spirit.

"Yes and no," I answered cryptically.

"What kind of fucked up answer is that?" Snarled Rose.

"The kind of answer you give when you tell the boy you like him but the fire alarm cock blocks you. He never heard me tell him." With that I let loose the tears that I was holding.

**EPOV**

_Evan and Jaron- Crazy For this Girl_

_Would you look at her  
She looks at me  
She's got me thinking about her constantly  
But she don't know how I feel  
And as she carries on without a doubt  
I wonder if she's figured out  
I'm crazy for this girl  
Yea I'm crazy for this girl_

"Cullen, in my office now." I nodded to Coach and followed him to his office. When we were both seated, I watched as he took a few sheets of paper off his desk and held them up.

"Do you know what these are?"

The sarcastic response of paper was on the tip on my tongue, but I knew that Coach would not be pleased with me. So I took a more respectful route.

"No, Coach." I gave him a wide smile.

He returned my smile with an all-knowing smirk. "Scouting requests." He let that knowledge hang in the air.

My heart had stopped and I wasn't breathing, the implications of what this meant thickened the air with tension.

"Scouting requests all for you." His smile grew wide and smug. I still hadn't started breathing again. "Breathe Cullen. This is a good thing." He passed the sheets to me to look over.

Most of the schools were in the Midwest, which didn't surprise me. I knew that if I was going to be scouted, it wasn't going to be by the East Coast powerhouses like Maine, Boston College, Boston University, and Cornell. But looking over the names of the ones that wanted to come see me play, well there were still a few good hockey schools namely Denver, Wisconsin, and two Minnesota schools.

"Are these for real?" I had to ask, I was still too shocked to fully comprehend how close my dream of playing college hockey really was.

Coach smiled and nodded, "They are serious, kid. Plus, in the national rankings you are in the top one hundred. One scout placed you in the top twenty five for offensive wingers." He leaned back in his chair. "Work hard, play even harder and you will be playing college hockey kid."

Air whooshed out of me in one long gust as his words penetrated my brain. I looked up at him hoping for some words to quell the anxiety that I felt was creeping up.

Coach leaned forward across his desk. "We won't get advance warning, but they will announce themselves once they are in the building. Don't change a thing you do, Edward. Don't let this distract you."

I nodded my head at his words because I knew they were all true. It was just the reality of them hitting me pretty hard. So much so that even after I left his office, I was in my own little world. I was highly distracted trying to wrap my brain around what it all meant. I hardly knew what was going on around me.

So much so that the few times I caught Bella's eye, she was looking at me perplexed. I wasn't making a good impression on her, but for the time being, I had other things to worry about rather than her and whether she liked me. I found that thought rather ironic since she was all I could think about for months and now I couldn't be bothered.

A few days after speaking to coach, I told my parents. They were thrilled with the news and the looks of pride and love helped me focus on the advice coach gave me. I had already done most of the work, I only had to keep it up, and the rest was out of my hands. My parents reminded me that they would support whatever choice I made regarding playing college hockey. However, they wanted me to remember that an education was just as important.

I agreed with them, even if in the back of mind I knew playing college hockey was another step closer to possibly being drafted by the NHL. My only real worry was if I was going to regret not playing either Major Juniors in Canada or at the USHL levels before college. Once I was done with college, my only real option was waiting to see if I got drafted. All the life choices before me made my head hurt.

About a week after the start of school, Emmett approached me with a sly little smile.

"What's up Eddie boy?"

I glared at his nickname. "Nothing Emmy bear. What the fuck do you want?"

"Now, now, no need to get testy. I just wanted to let you know that next Saturday we are having a little party for Bella's eighteenth birthday at Rose's. The girls wanted me to make sure you knew you were invited."

At the sound of her name, my heart sped up and I couldn't help but smile. Since I decided not to worry about the scouting thing until I had to, I went back to watching Bella. The transformation over the summer had made everyone take notice. She was getting looks wherever she went. I also couldn't help but see the looks she threw my way.

It was starting to make me think she liked me. Maybe her party would give me a chance to see if she gave off any other signals. I knew she was starring in more of my nighttime fantasies, ever since that last party of the summer. But I also couldn't forget that she treated me so differently then as well. She never flirted with me or turned her eyes hooded with passion on me. So I was still trying to figure out the contradiction in my head.

"Thanks, Em I'll be there." He walked away with a small shake of his head. I didn't have time to ask him about it as Bella was walking toward me and I had caught her eye. I gave her a small smile and she returned it. Maybe I could show her at the party how I felt.

I spent a week trying to figure out what to get her, nothing I came up with felt right. Either it was too personal and would give away too much or it wasn't personal enough. So, the day of the party I found myself in a little boutique in Port Angeles still looking for a gift for Bella. Nothing was jumping out at me, I had decided to leave when a sales lady offered me help. Feeling desperate, I told her what I needed and she led me to a small display of handcrafted jewelry.

She showed me several necklaces, but nothing screamed Bella. I was about to thank her for her help, when I remembered Bella telling me she liked butterflies.

"Do you have something with a butterfly on it?"

The sales lady looked thoughtful, before she smiled and turned back to the display case. She looked around for a few long tense moments before she let out a little exclaim of happiness.

"Found it. I think this would be perfect for your friend." She held out her hand and in it was a delicate bracelet with butterflies and flowers.

It was perfect. "I'll take it. Can you wrap it for me?"

The party was a success. I had never seen Bella so happy and carefree. I also caught several stares and gazes from Bella that made me think she liked me. Every time I looked at her, I made sure to smile. Her smiles in return were heart stopping.

There was one time I thought that maybe we were going to kiss. It was later that night, we were alone in the kitchen and the way she looked at me, all I wanted to do was kiss. Instead, she asked me to help her bring some more snacks to the basement. I gladly helped, but felt sad that she didn't want more from me.

It was that night I realized I did want to be with Bella, but just so confused as to if she liked me or not. I considered talking to Emmett and Jasper to see if they knew anything, but I didn't want to take the ribbing, they were sure to give me.

Instead, I was stuck just watching for some sort of sign from Bella that she did like me. She seemed nervous and shy, which was different from the way she acted at the summer parties. But there was also a confidence that I found sexy as hell. Maybe it was the new clothes or hair, maybe she just came into her own while I was in California. Whatever it was, it sure made her exude sex appeal.

I cursed the fact that we shared no classes together and only had lunch to check for signs, which wasn't a whole lot of time. So I was fairly surprised when one day I found her coming toward me. I was at my locker looking for my math homework, as I wanted to go over a few questions before class later on.

To hear her talk about how much she loved the bracelet had me soaring. To see it on her wrist made me feel as if I had claimed her, she was wearing my mark. I had to shift to keep her from seeing the start of my erection.

But it was when she got all bashful and quiet that it raged harder than ever. She looked at me through lowered lashes, licked her lips, and bit that plump lower one and it was all I could do to keep from kissing her. I tried to encourage her to tell me whatever it was she wanted to say. If she wanted to go for a quickie in the janitor's closet, I was for it.

I cursed when she bowed her head; I lost the ability to look into those soft brown eyes. I heard her start talking but the shrill sound of the fire alarm directly above us had me covering my ears. Fuck that thing was loud. We were soon swept up in the tide of students trying to exit the school. I lost sight of her and as I was swallowed by the crowd I wondered what it was she wanted to tell me.

**A/N: *shakes head* Man.. she tried soo hard! Stupid fire alarm! But Bella has another plan... college.. ohhhh Just so ya know.. all the college I mentioned.. HUGE hockey powerhouses! WOOT!**

**Edward.. got good news... being scouted is a huge thing! Now.. where will he end up? Don't throw those seatbelts away... more UST coming next week. But the week after... let's say.. start collecting sham wows now...**

**Leave me some love? Please? Until next week! *mwah***


	16. October Senior Year

**A/N: Ohh my my.. you are all chomping at the bit and ready for the UST to end. Well my dear readers.. this is the last UST chapter.. for now...**

**Much love as always goes to my fuck awesome beta- Itlnbrt- who never hesitates to make me smile! To my pre-readers who stand by me.. no matter what- fanfichardcore, CullensTwiMistress and JoJo757! LOVE YOU LADIES!**

**Disclaimer; I don't own Twilight.. just Edward on skates and a Bella that likes dirty socks! *giggles* ENJOY!**

October- Senior Year

**EPOV**

_Lifehouse- You and Me_

_One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping on words  
You've got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do_  
_Nothing to prove_  
_And it's you and me and all other people_  
_And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you_

"Hustle! Show me some hustle boys. You need to dig the puck out. Chris, watch your man. Steve, get down closer. Get the rebound."

Coach barked out directions and reminders as we ran through our drills over and over. Practice had finally started and it felt good to get back on the ice. We had a huge crop of seniors this year so anticipation ran high for us to go far.

The sound of the whistle ended the offensive drill we were running. We all skated over to coach who had a sour look on his face. He ripped into the four freshmen that had made the team. They looked as if they were going to shit bricks at being called out in front of the whole team. When coach was done with his tirade, he sent us back out to run the drill again. I pulled the four kids over to the side.

The expression on their faces was one of pure fear.

"Relax, I'm not going to rip into you. All I want you to do is relax. Remember this is just a drill; we are just working on the basics. Concentrate on what you need to accomplish for each drill. Can you guys do that?"

All four of them nodded their heads. I slapped them on their helmets. "Let's go before coach has a coronary." That caused them to crack a smile.

Over the next ten minutes, we ran the drill over and over and they got progressively better with each repetition. On the last one, it worked like a dream and coach was ecstatic. The four freshmen looked at ease and were smiling.

"Team meeting in twenty," shouted coach. We all traipsed into the locker room and changed out of our practice gear. A few of us upper classmen hit the showers. I loved the fact that we got first dibs on the showers. By the time we were done, the freshmen only had lukewarm water left. I didn't miss those days in the least.

Twenty minutes later found the whole team in the video room where the coach sat waiting for us. Once we were all settled, coach began to talk.

"I don't have to tell you that last year we didn't accomplish all we set out to do. While we made great strides making it into the second round of play-offs, we failed to bring home a state title. This year we have even more seniors and I'm sure it goes without saying that they want a title."

There were plenty of nods going on, me included. I wanted a state title just as much as I wanted to play college hockey. A state title was the ultimate goal for any high school athlete. Plus, I was selfish enough to admit that the longer we stayed in the play-offs the more chances scouts had to watch me play.

"In order to win a championship we need three things: hard work, determination, and leaders. We will work on the first two, but the last one we can take care of today." He then held up a C and two A's, they were the captain and alternate letters.

The room fell dead silent. Everyone in there knew the significance of being selected to be team leaders. It wasn't an easy position to be in. I felt eyes on me as the coach talked about the importance of having good team leaders. Everyone knew that the captain would most likely be a senior, which meant that I had a one in five chance in being named. I never gave being the captain much thought. All I ever wanted to do was play hockey. That was it, end of story.

"Our alternates will be Jasper Whitlock and Alec Gianno." The room erupted in applause and I looked over at Jasper who was shocked and surprised. I clapped him on his back as he stood to get his A. As he made his way back to his seat, he bent down to whisper in my ear.

"Get ready for the C!" He winked and I just shook my head. It honestly didn't matter if I got the C or not. Out of the remaining three seniors, I thought Craig or Peter had a better chance for the C than I did.

"Now, I would like to introduce your captain for this year, Edward Cullen."

The room became a loud mix of clapping and cheering. The entire team stood up, as I made my way to coach. I was shocked; I didn't understand why they picked me. When I walked to the front of the room, coach was smiling. He motioned for quiet and the room fell silent.

"Edward you were picked not only for your dedication and drive for the game, but for your passion, your hard work, and leadership. You provide leadership through your actions and focus. You are a natural leader, Edward." He handed me the C. My hands were shaking as I took it.

The whole school soon learned of me being made captain. I received congrats from other athletes and random kids in the hall. Both Jasper and Emmett were proud as peacocks with it all. My parents were over the moon with the news. My mom made me all my favorite foods for a week. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'd have to work out harder to make up for all the extra rich calories.

But I couldn't wait to see what Bella thought of it all. Well, no, I was nervous as hell to see what she thought. As I made my way to the lunchroom, I felt the nerves churning in my stomach. I was sure that by now she had heard through the grapevine about me being made captain, at the very least I was certain that the girls would've said something.

As I was making my way through the food line, I searched the room for Bella. As I waited to pay for my lunch, I spotted her sitting with everyone else. I hadn't eaten a single thing on my tray, but my stomach felt as if I had consumed a lead sandwich.

I alternated between looking at the floor and staring a hole into the back of Bella's head. The tray was shaking and I held it closer to my body as to not betray my nerves. I felt silly. I already made captain, but it seemed liked it wasn't real or worth anything until Bella acknowledged it.

"Hey, Edward," greeted Jasper. We did the manly fist bump, as I put my tray on the table. I slid into the spot next to Bella and looked at her out of the corner of my eye. She was chatting with Alice, so I messed with the food sitting before me.

Of course just as I took a bite of the burger, Bella turned to look at me and smile.

"Hi, Edward. I hear congrats are in order." She smiled so sweetly at me, there was no way I could stop the little blush that crept over my face. "It's a prestigious honor. I mean you are right up there with Toews, Chelios, and Sutter."

Hearing Bella rattle off past captains of the Hawks like it was common knowledge only served to make me all hot and bothered. My cock stiffened and pressed hard against my jeans. I shifted in my seat in attempt to get comfortable.

"Um, thanks Bella. I'm nowhere near the level of those guys." She laughed and I couldn't help but snicker with her.

"I know that silly." She bumped me with her shoulder and my skin burned from her touch. "I'm just saying that it's an important role on any team. Your leadership will be crucial. People will be looking to you for guidance. I'm really proud of you."

Hearing those words affected me more than any of the congratulatory words I'd received up till then. I felt as if I could conquer the world. Her words struck a chord deep within me and suddenly I felt the weight of my responsibilities.

"Still, thanks. I just hope I don't let anyone down." I spoke so softly, I wasn't sure she heard me. But when her hand slid over mine and squeezed gently, I knew she had.

"Look at me Edward." She waited until I faced her. Our eyes locked, spring green wrapped up in chocolate brown. "You will be a great captain. You do what you do best, which is to play the game with your heart. You're good not because you're some hockey phenom, but because you play with joy, spirit, and passion. You lead by example. Don't do anything different, Edward. Just be you."

At that moment, I felt as if I could fly right out of my skin. My heart was pounding, my breathing was bordering on panting, and my cock throbbed. Somehow, I had to let her know how I felt. Unable to speak after her incredibly sweet words, I squeezed her hand back and smiled. The little bubble that surrounded us was broken by Emmett's loud booming voice.

"Yo, Edward, you gonna eat that?" He pointed to the fries I had yet to touch next to the burger I had only taken a bite out of.

I shook my head. "No, if you want them, take them." He wasted no time in reaching across the table and shoving a handful in.

"Em, you are such a pig," said Rose with disgust in her voice.

His reply was to give her a huge grin complete with masticated fries. The table erupted in cries of disbelief.

"Ewww."

"Gross."

"Nasty."

Days later and I was no closer to figuring out how to tell Bella that I liked her. There was never any time in which we were ever alone. There was always someone around. It sucked ass. That was until a few weeks into October and we decided as a group to head to the Port Angeles Fall Fair.

It was basically a street fair that took place over three days. It was part carnival and art show. Emmett made us go every year because of the food. Jasper and I loved to go for the rides. This would be Bella's first time going and I was excited to show her around. I was also hoping that maybe I could get her alone so we could talk.

As soon as we arrived, Emmett took off for some cheese curds and a foot long hotdog. The rest of us walked around and looked at the various artists and their wares. The girls had to stop at every jewelry vendor there was to ohh and ahh over everything. I noticed how different Bella was compared to Alice and Rosalie.

While they tried things on and made a big production about it, Bella was quieter, more subtle, with her shopping. She often spent time talking to the artist and gravitated towards more simplistic pieces. She never bought anything, but I did observe as she spent a lot of time admiring a simple silver necklace. When she put it down with a wistful sigh when Rose called her to check something out, I had to investigate what made her sound like that.

When I asked the vendor to show me what she was looking at, she pointed out a necklace that was much more delicate than I realized. It was a simple rope style chain, but when I saw what was hanging from it, I knew why Bella wanted it. Attached to the necklace was a beautiful charm of a swan ready to take flight. The body of the bird was set with shimmering stones and the wingtips sprinkled with glitter. It shined and gleamed.

Without any hesitation, I whipped out some money and bought it. She placed it in a black velvet bag and handed it to me. I stuffed it in my pocket where it felt as if it was burning a hole in my jeans. I knew I couldn't just whip it out and give it to her. So, I held onto it, waiting for that special time when it would be perfect to give it to her.

Three hours later found us wondering around all the rides. Most of them were lame and geared toward little kids, but there were a few that looked cool enough to go on. Of course, those were the ones with the long lines. Bella, Jasper, and I had just gotten off the flying swings and we decided to go wait in line for a ride called the Zipper. When we got to the back of the line, Jasper took off for the bathrooms while Bella and I held our place. It was the first time that we had been alone and I was going to try to take advantage of it.

"So, are you having fun Bella?" I watched her face light up with a huge smile.

"Yes! This is so much fun. Thank you for letting me come with you guys." It humbled me how she sometimes acted as if she wasn't part of our group, like we would ever leave her out of something.

"Why wouldn't you come? We like hanging out with you." I watched as a slight blush spread across her face. "I like hanging out with you." I looked down, uncomfortable with letting her see how much she affected me.

"Thanks, Edward. I like hanging out with you, too. Oh, and everyone else as well." Her blush deepened and I swallowed a groan. She looked far too tempting.

I started to fidget, nerves suddenly causing me to lose what calmness I thought I had. My hands scratched at the back of my neck as I fumbled for the right words to say.

"I, ahh … um, Bella … I wanted to, um …" But that was all I managed before I felt my knees buckle as someone slammed into me.

"Hey Edward, I thought you were going to ride my zipper?" Emmett's poorly timed bad joke shattered what little confidence I had to tell Bella how I felt.

I watched as Bella tried not to laugh at Emmett and his crude joke. But, like the others that had suddenly surrounded us, resistance was futile and she busted out in a full out belly laugh. I stood off to the side as Emmett guffawed and brayed over his crude and highly unfunny joke. In that moment, I never wanted to put a muzzle on Emmett as badly as I did then.

The rest of my night was shot to hell. I was quiet, moody, and sullen. Or as Emmett put it as he drove us home, acting all emo. I had to sit on my hands to keep from making his forehead meet the windshield. I was so pissed, I didn't speak to him for a few days. Em never noticed, but Jasper sure did.

"Care to tell me why your bromance with Em is on a break?" I glared at Jazz for a few seconds, but he just stared back at me all calm and shit. It pissed me off. But in the very next breath, I chilled out and realized that if there was one person I could talk to, it was Jasper.

So, I told him about Bella and all the conflicting feelings I've had for her over the last few months, to how I felt about her over the summer till now. By the end, I had unloaded a bunch of emotional garbage on him and I felt better.

Jasper looked at me, a smile creeping on his face. "Dude, you got it so bad. You want Bella."

"Well duh, that's just what I told you." I wondered whether he had taken a puck to the head in practice recently.

"No, I mean that you've liked her all this time and now you're scared shitless to make a move." I was about to smack his head when he continued. "You really like her, Edward, as a friend, as a girl. It's stronger than how you felt for Bree and you are scared you'll fuck it up."

I wanted to deny every single word he said, but I couldn't because he was right. I liked Bella as a friend; I really liked her as more and wanted to show it to her. But I was also so goddamned nervous that one wrong move and I'd send her into someone else's arms. I saw the way she flirted and teased the other guys, hell I saw how she turned heads. Eventually, someone was going to snatch up Bella Swan and I really wanted it to be me.

So all I did was nod. "That's why I'm pissed at Em. I had just gotten the guts to tell Bella I liked her and dipshit came barging in ruining the moment. Part of me feels as if she does like me, I'm just not 100% sure she likes me." I threw my head back against the couch. "I don't know if I'll ever get the nerve to talk to her again."

Jasper chuckled. "Don't you think you are being just a tad melodramatic? Do you want me to talk to Alice? I'm sure she would know something."

"NO! Don't do that please. I would be mortified if she told you that Bella doesn't like me that way. If I have to find out, I'd rather it be a private intimate affair where only Bella witnesses my humiliation." I closed my eyes at the thought of Bella not liking me; shudders wracked my body at how horrible it would be for her to turn me down.

"Dude, stick your hand down your pants and make sure you haven't grown a vagina. You're acting like a pussy."

I flipped Jazz off as I threw a pillow at him. "Fuck off."

"Come on, let's go do something manly, like play X-Box and blow shit up." I jumped up from the couch at his suggestion, it was just the type of distraction I needed right then.

A week before Halloween, I found myself outside of school all alone with Bella. There were other people milling around, but not our friends. There was no one to cock block me if I decided to tell Bella I liked her. We were discussing last night's Hawks and Wild hockey game when I realized if I didn't take advantage of us being somewhat alone, I was going to regret it.

I faced Bella, listening to her talk, and just watching how animated she got when talking hockey.

"I mean, it was a total garbage goal, one of those weird bounces and shit. But you know what they say." She then just shrugged her shoulders and smiled at me.

I shook my head at her. "No, what do they say?" Knowing Bella and her unique thoughts, it could be anything.

She smiled at me. "At the end of the game it doesn't matter how the goal was scored just that you got more than the other guys."

I laughed. It was just like her to come up with some weird shit like that. She joined me in laughing and when we settled down, I watched as she tilted up her face to the weak October sun.

I wanted to just sit there and look at her. She was so beautiful, with the sun hitting her hair, bringing out the reddish highlights and the way her skin took on an almost translucent glow when bathed by the sun. She was simply stunning. I almost didn't want to disturb her.

"So, um, Bella there was, um something I wanted to talk, erhm … to you about." Inwardly I cursed my fumbling bumbling self. But all Bella did was smile and nod for me to continue while she soaked up the rays.

I rubbed my hands on my pants, fidgeted to get comfortable, and prayed that I wouldn't fuck this up. My hand went to my hair, tugging and pulling on it in agitation. I didn't understand why this was so fucking hard.

"Spit it out Cullen." In my silence, Bella had opened her eyes and was looking right at me. My mouth ran dry and I wanted to vomit.

"I wanted to tell you that, um …"

"Hello, Edward." Came a sugary sweet voice behind me. I felt my balls shrivel up as I turn to see Tanya smirking right at me. She sauntered up to where I was sitting with Bella and moved in between us, causing Bella to move or be sat on.

Before I could harp on her rather rude behavior, Bella's voice rang out. "Um, excuse me where are your manners?"

Tanya flicked a look over her and laughed. "Oops, my bad. Didn't see you there, Belinda."

"It's Bella." We both corrected. Tanya turned back to me, laughed, and placed her hand on my arm and started stroking it.

"So sorry." Although she should have said those words to Bella, she said them to me. "I didn't mean to interrupt but I wanted to congratulate you on making captain and to ask you out tonight. You know," she started to lean close and get all up in my personal space, "to celebrate and have fun."

She then cupped my crotch and I let out a sound somewhere between a shriek and a squeak. But she wasn't done there, no, then she started to rub, no, mash her hand on my dick. I tried to scoot away from her hand but it was like she had my nuts in a vice grip and I was worried she'd walk away with them.

I looked over her shoulder, trying to plead help from Bella. What I saw was a furious looking angel. With my eyes I implored that she interfere, that she just do _something _to get Tanya off my jock.

"Um, Tiffany. I think you should take your hands off his crotch." I could hear the pure venom in Bella's voice.

Tanya heard it as well and I watched her eyes narrow into little slits. Her hand slackened off balls and I moved as far back as I could. She whipped her head around and glared at Bella who was now standing up.

"It's Tanya, bitch. And why are you still even around? You think you have a chance with him? You wouldn't know the first thing about how to handle a guy like Edward. While you may have finally gotten the right clothes, it's nothing more than slapping lipstick on a pig."

I watched as Bella's face recoiled in pain and horror at Tanya's harsh words, each one cutting her deeper and deeper. But to her credit, she didn't let Tanya truly know how she felt, she stiffened her spine, spun on her heel and walked away.

I scrambled up and away from Tanya, anger making my hands shake. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to quell the desire to hit this poor excuse of a human being.

"You really are a cold bitch. That was uncalled for, Tanya."

She actually had the gall to roll her eyes and look surprised at my words. Then she fucking shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Edward, she had to learn sooner or later that she's not like us. I mean some people have it and some don't. She needed to know her place."

She looked up at me as if that should have made perfect sense. I scoffed at her words.

"From where I stand, you don't have anything that I want Tanya. But, I have a few words of advice for you. You may want to close your legs that tuna smell is getting nasty." With that, I stormed off. I wanted to scream to the skies that another chance with Bella was blown.

Later that night as I lay in bed, I gave serious thought to the idea that maybe the universe was interfering because Bella and I were never going to happen. That it was fate's way of saying cut your losses and move on. But if that was true, why did such an idea make my chest feel tight and heavy?

**BPOV**

_Adele- To Make you Feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
No doubt in my mind where you belong  
I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
Know there's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

"It looked like you and Edward were getting pretty cozy yesterday at the Fair." Alice waggled her brows and I busted out laughing.

"You look so silly when you do that, kind of pervy." I grew quiet as I reflected on her words. "I guess we were cozy. He seemed nervous and on edge most of the night, then after the Zipper, he was almost angry."

"I'm sure it had nothing to do with you. I wouldn't worry too much." Placated Rose.

I shrugged. "I have no clue. I mean we were talking- sort of. I think he was trying to tell me something, or at least that was the impression I got. But then once Em came over and interrupted, he closed off."

I sighed as I drew my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. "Maybe I'm reading into nothing." I closed my eyes and laid my head on my knees.

I felt my girls come around me. "Do you want us to talk to Jazz and Em, feel them out, see what they know?"

My head snapped up. "No!" I shook my head vehemently. "Don't do that!" Just the thought of the girls talking to them made me want to vomit. "Just, please, don't. Let me figure this out guys." I looked at them both, begging them to understand.

They both nodded their heads. "We just want you to be happy. We want you _both _to be happy."

I hugged them both, grateful that I had my girls to help me out. Now that they knew how I felt about Edward, it felt good to confide in them and seek their advice.

As the days passed, I watched Edward even more, trying to find some clue that he liked me just a smidge. I found him looking at me. He sought me out at lunch and we talked. I was immensely proud that he made captain and I couldn't wait to see him in a game with the C on his sweater.

The more time that passed, the more frustrated I became. There were some days, when I was just going to say fuck the fear and unknown and just tell him. No, better yet, show him how I felt. But then I'd have a bad day and I'd go back to being a scared girl who had no clue what to do.

One day found me sitting with Edward on a low wall outside of school. I was waiting for Rose who was talking to a teacher. Edward and I were discussing the game from the night before and once again, Edward was full of sour grapes over a goal. He was really a homer when it came to the Hawks and he didn't like it when they lost.

But he was even more adorable when he was sitting next to me looking all flustered. He was yanking on his hair and I wanted to pull his hand out and thread our fingers together. Of course, just as he looked like he was starting to spit out whatever was on his mind we were interrupted.

I was seriously starting to wonder if I had some karmic debt that I was working off.

The irritating voice of Tanya grated my nerves raw. She was nothing but a flake and a royal bitch. But when she used her fat ass to push me out of the way, my gut clenched in anger. I saw her eyes flick over to me; she knew I was there. I wanted to rip her bottle blonde hair right out.

My heart skipped a beat when Edward pointed out that she was being rude, way too politely in my opinion. But when I heard her call me Belinda, I was seriously looking for a rumble. She knew who I was, I mean, I had her in two of my classes.

The old Bella would have scampered off, but I was too pissed and she was messing with my man. When we both corrected her with my correct name, I saw her eyes narrow slightly as she turned to look at me and laugh. I knew she was trying to size me up. I drew myself up as tall as I could; she wasn't going to intimidate me.

Her saccharine and completely false apology washed over me like her bad breath. Her smile was too forced, her eyes too calculating, and her words too crafted. If she was sincere, I had swamp land that housed gold mines in New York to sell you.

With no tact, she tossed her hair, and faced Edward. She tried to get him to go out and I wanted to roll my eyes at her less than subtle come on. But then I heard him squeak and peeked around her shoulders to see her fondling the goods. She was mauling his crotch as if it was a scratch and sniff sticker and Edward didn't look tickled pink.

I caught his pleading eyes and spoke without even thinking first, Edward needed me.

"Um, Tiffany. I think you should take your hands off his crotch." I gave her my best bitch face and laced my words with as much malice as I could.

Her eyes narrow into little slits making her look constipated. I breathed in relief when I noticed her hand released Edward's jewels. He scrambled out of her reach. Tanya's face contorted into something I would have seen in a horror flick, a mix of rage, shock, and indignation.

"It's Tanya, bitch." She spat her words at me as if she was talking to child. I wanted to slap her silly. "And why are you still even around? You think you have a chance with him? You wouldn't know the first thing about how to handle a guy like Edward. While you may have finally gotten the right clothes, it's nothing more than slapping lipstick on a pig."

With each word, I felt tiny lashes tear into my confidence. Every doubt and fear she laid out and stomped on them, reminding me that I was nothing more than an imposter trying to play dress up. Yet, no matter what she said, I wasn't giving her the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I wouldn't throw a tantrum or start a fight she wasn't worth it.

But I had to get out of there before Edward saw me cry. It was harsh to have Tanya call me out, but it was downright painful, and humiliating to have it done in front of the boy I was crazy about. I held my head up high, showed no outward emotion as I spun around, and walked away.

The wind carried Edward's words of defense of me and I smiled. Right there I vowed no more pussyfooting around. I was going to do everything in my power to get Edward. The gloves were coming off and I wasn't going to wait any more. I was going to show the Tanya's of the world I deserved Edward. He deserved a girl who would treat him like a person and not an object. He deserved me.

**A/N; Soo much going on this chapter! *fans self* Is it me.. or is it hot in here? Ok.. first thing.. go to youtube and look up the Adele song that was for Bella this chapter.. it is an amazing cover that she did... I am still partial to the version Garth Brooks did.. but this will work as well.**

**Next... *taps chin* hmm.. this is Ocober and next is Novemeber...hmm I wonder what that could mean? *sniffs air* Ohh that's right... LEMON TIME! People.. heed this warning.. next chapater I don't just squeeze a lemon.. I demolish an entire lemon grove! Next week will not be suitable for work reading.. you will need to hydrate AND sham wows are MANDATORY!**

**Come find me on Facebook as Joey Witchyvampgirl Masen and ask to join the group I share with CullensTwiMistress- Sweetwards Mistresses.. I post teasers every Friday and in honor of next week.. there is a special teaser on Wednesday coming!**

**Now.. hit that review button... come on... make my day! Please?! I'll see you on FB or here next week!**


	17. November Senior Year

**A/N: *tires squealing and a huge crash into the lemon grove* Hmm dayum.. there is lemon juice everywhere! *licks fingers* hmm tasty!**

**Love to all my ladies: Itlnbrt, CullensTwiMistress, JoJo757 & fanfichardcore- are any of you recovered yet?**

**SHAMWOW'S NEEDED! PANTY WARNING... TAKE THEM OFF! ENJOY!**

November- Senior Year

**EPOV**

_Keith Sweat- Nobody_

_I want to tease you  
I want to please you  
I want to show you baby  
That I need you_

I want your body  
'Till the very last drop  
I want you to holler  
When you want me to stop

And who can love you like me (nobody)  
Who can sex you like me (nobody)  
Who can treat you like me now, baby (nobody)  
Nobody, baby (nobody)  
And who can do it like me (nobody)  
And who can give you what you need (nobody)  
Who can do you all night long (nobody)  
Nobody, baby (nobody)

As much as I wanted Bella, hockey season was starting and I needed to focus on that. Being the captain meant that I couldn't ask my teammates to do anything I wouldn't do. I asked them for 100% and I gave 110%. That didn't mean that I wasn't thinking of her, I was, all the fucking time. I just got very good at compartmentalizing her and everything else that was going on around me.

It was the day before our first game and I was full of nerves. I was always like this before the first game of the season. I was juiced up on anxiety, anticipation, and a touch of fear. I felt as if everything was bigger, more intense, and weighed more heavily on my shoulders. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I was captain, it was senior year or the idea of being watched by scouts. Maybe it was a mixture of all of that. Whatever it was, I felt the jitters course through me, even after we had finished a ninety minute practice.

"I'm staying out Coach." He looked at me, and I was sure everything I felt was written across my body.

"Not too long, need you to get your rest." He patted me on my helmet before I skated away.

I dragged out the huge bucket of pucks and dumped them on center ice. I took a bunch to each circle and then left some in front of the goal. I worked on wrist shots, hard slap shots, and low screen shots. I practiced high and low angles, imaging myself trying to slip a puck under or over a goalies pads. The simplistic motions felt good to me, burning the residual energy and nerves that had flooded my body. The ritual feel of it all, soothed my nerves, reminded me that there was only so much I could control.

To cool down I worked on basic skating moves; crossovers, backwards, starting, and stopping. I pretended to chase down opponents or out skate the defense. My entire body felt tired and achy, but it was the best kind to have. I methodically rounded up the pucks, deposited them on the bench, and waved to Alec who was waiting with the zamboni as I exited down to the locker room.

As I made my way to the locker room, I was looking forward to the solitude it granted. I re-played our practice in my head, making mental checklists of players to watch during the game. We were playing Port A and on paper, it looked as if we had them beat in every facet of the game. But that could all change with a lucky goal or a rush of scoring chances that energized the players.

My mind was concentrating hard on the upcoming game as stripped off my jersey, pads, and unlaced my skates. I wiped the blades free of water and opened them up wide to help them start drying out. I threw my sweaty socks and breezers into my bag. I removed my cup and breathed a sigh of relief at my groin no longer being restricted. I faced my locker as my eyes closed trying to visualize parts of the game.

I was frustrated that every once in a while Bella's face would creep in. I felt horrible that I hadn't spent much time talking to her, and I had hoped that she understood. Just then I heard a small noise behind me, like a gasp, and I spun around. I couldn't believe my eyes. There was Bella staring at me, eyes wide open and looking sexy as sin.

Her eyes roamed all over my body, desire made her eyes hooded and dark. She licked her lips, and I was transfixed by how that one little movement made my entire body ache. She appraised me as if I was her next meal and I wanted to beg her to sample my goods.

"What are you doing in here?" I finally managed to croak out.

"I came here for you, Edward," she replied with a soft smile. Then I watched as she silently lifted her tight baby blue sweater up and over her head. My eyes bulged as they gazed upon her tits encased in a black lacey bra. Her nipples were barely hidden by it and my mouth watered with the need to suck on them.

Somewhere through the lusty haze, her words penetrated my brain. "M-m-me?" I stuttered out.

_She wanted me?_

My eyes never left her chest as one of her fingers began playing with the lace of the bra. I wanted to trace the same path with my tongue. I just knew she would taste as good as she smelled.

She laughed gently. "Yes, you. I have wanted you for over a year. And frankly, I'm tired of waiting." I tried to comprehend what she was saying but all the blood rushed from my head to my cock as she started to unzip her short black mini skirt. With a soft whoosh of fabric it fell to the floor and she stepped out of it. My eyes widened in shock as one of her fingers traced around her tits while another traced from her belly button to the top of her sheer black boy shorts. I swallowed convulsively as just the tip of her finger delved under the waistband.

I didn't know where to look. My eyes darted all over her body, as I didn't want to miss one tantalizing thing she was doing. She was mesmerizing and sexy. I feared if I spoke or moved too much, it would all go away, that it was nothing more than one fucking good dream. With each movement of her fingers I felt my cock swell and get harder.

"A year?" I asked her. She liked me for over a year? It all seemed so strange and surreal. How could her words be true? Even though I was confused, my eyes never left her body. I watched in amazed fascination as she tugged on her boy shorts, exposing one delicate hip. Inside my head, I was chanting, begging, and pleading for her to take it off.

But my desires went unanswered as she gave a small chuckle. "Yes. But I knew you wouldn't notice me. I was just plain Bella." She reached behind her back and unclasped the bra and flung it somewhere. I couldn't care less as I was staring at Bella as she palmed her tits, caressing them, her nails lightly scraping the hardened nipples. My eyes feasted on her bare breasts. I swallowed several times, and then licked my lips. I wanted her, badly, but I was still in shock, still uncertain if it was all real or not.

She took my silence as acquiescence and she continued. "So I masturbated every night to thoughts of you, sometimes several times a night. Eventually it got to the point where I just needed you, needed the real thing. So I set out to see if I could get you to notice me."

My mind was racing a million miles a minute. She masturbated to thoughts of me? I was beyond shocked and was headed straight toward dumbfounded. But Bella wasn't quite finished. No, I had a feeling she was just getting started.

Her hands left her tits and I wanted to groan in frustration. But she more than made up for it when her hands trailed down her chest and back to the waist of her panties. She teased me by pretending to push them down only to stop right before I would get an eyeful of her pussy. My cock was like a divining rod and she was my cool water-filled oasis.

"So I worked to make sure you noticed me and you did. Didn't you?" I could only nod my head. I did want her, so fucking badly it hurt some nights until I took matters into my own hands. "Did you want me?" she asked. As if there was any doubt. My mouth wouldn't form the words so I nodded again. "How come you never came for me?" I could hear the vulnerability in her question. All her insecurities and doubts weighed heavily in her words.

I struggled with finding the right ones to say, ones that would tell her that I wanted her just as much. "I didn't think you wanted me. You always treated me like a friend, not like the others guys you flirted with." I let all my vulnerability and raw desire for her show in my words. There had to be no doubt in her mind that I wanted her as much as it was becoming apparent that she wanted me.

She must have figured out what I was trying to tell her. With deliberate slowness she pulled her boy shorts all the way down her legs. My eyes watched her every move. When they were off, she threw them at me and I caught them instinctively. Without thinking I brought them up to my nose and inhaled deeply.

"God, you smell so fucking good," I groaned. My eyes closed, trying to savor her unique aroma.

"I taste even better." My eyes snapped open and I stared at her. My jaw fell open as I watched her drag a finger though her slick folds. She winked and then licked it clean. I groaned. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be her finger or her tongue.

"I want you. I need you. I. WANT. TO. FUCK. YOU."

I watched as she punctuated each word by moving her hands all over her body. She caressed the delicate skin of her stomach, the nape of her neck, the sides of her tits, the top of her pubic bone, but she never moved toward me.

"If you really want me, well here I am." She opened her arms wide. For the space of a few heartbeats time seemed to stand still while her words penetrated into my brain. When my brain clicked with understanding I whipped my shirt and shorts off in a few jerky movements. My cock sprang out and slapped my abs. She licked her lips in anticipation and I just snapped. I hopped over the bench and crashed into Bella.

I pulled her tight to me, feeling her lush curves as they molded to my body. One hand went to her ass where I began to knead while my other hand buried itself in her hair. Our lips met in a frantic mash of lips, tongue, and teeth. Bella's arms wrapped around my body with a whimper and she pulled herself even tighter to me. The kiss was hot, wet, and full of need. Desire and lust rolled into one quivering mass of passion. I wanted to brand her body with my kiss.

I swept my tongue over her lips and she opened with a moan. She tasted sweet and it intoxicated me. Her hands threaded their way through my hair and when she tugged, I couldn't suppress the groan. Her tongue demanded to taste and explore me as mine did her. I could feel her hardened nipples as they rasped across my chest.

When air became a necessity we continued to explore and taste any flesh we could find. Hands joined in the exploration. I kissed my way across her cheek to her jaw, down her neck to the juncture of where neck meets shoulder. I nipped at the area and then laved it with my tongue to soothe it.

My hands explored her soft curves, they were so much better than I had dreamed. Her hips fell naturally into my hands and I couldn't wait to fuck her from behind and use those glorious hips for leverage. Her ass was a perfect handful, fantasies involving her ass raced through my brain. But when I touched her tits, it was like I had gone home.

They were glorious, slightly more than a handful, capped with pert rosy tips that beckoned me. I trailed kisses down her chest to one perfect nipple. My lips wrapped around it and began to flick and suck. Bella moaned and arched her body into mine, thrusting her chest even closer to me. With an invitation like that, how could I refuse? I attacked her other nipple with my hands, rolling, plucking, and pinching. With my hands and mouth working Bella's tits over, she was a panting, writhing mess.

I felt her hips rubbing and grinding on my aching cock and she pushed my head even harder onto her tits. I was working a nipple with my teeth when I felt her soft warm hand grasp my leaking cock. Just that first contact of skin to skin had shivers racing throughout my body. It felt so fucking good! The pads of her fingers found my leaking head and spread the sticky pre-cum around.

"That feels so fucking good," I groaned out. My eyes closed automatically, enjoying the sensations she evoked in my body. Suddenly Bella pulled away from my body and before I could register a complaint, I felt her warm wet mouth engulf my cock.

"Oh, fuck Bella." I gripped her hair tightly. My entire body felt like one highly sensitive nerve ending. She pulled back out while licking the vein on the underside, then swirled the head with her tongue and plunged back down. Over and over she did this, moving faster and faster. I couldn't help but thrust my hips; I wanted to plunge my cock down her throat. The thought of making her gag on me almost had me jizzing right then and there. She placed her hands on the back of my thighs and I looked down upon her. Seeing her on her knees was almost too much for me to handle. She looked fucking hot down there.

She held still and pushed me back in her mouth. Looking at her pleading gaze, I knew what she wanted. I gripped her hair tighter and began to thrust eagerly into her awaiting mouth. Her tongue never stopped tracing all over my cock, and her lips created a delicious tight vacuum around my cock.

"Holy shit … hmmm … feels so good … fuck," I mumbled incoherently as I fucked her mouth. I felt her moan and hum around my dick and it was all I could do not to jizz in her mouth. I wanted to make this last.

"Oh, shit … ohh … fuck." I shouted as I began to feel the familiar tingles in my body signaling my orgasm. Bella must have figured out what was going on because she cupped my balls and began to roll and tug on them. Her actions and my pending orgasm reduced me to nothing but low growls and hisses.

The coil reached my abs and I felt them start to quiver. "Oh, Bella … I'm close … soo close." I was trying to give her a chance to pull away. But she stayed where she was and pulled me even closer. Her lips sucked me even harder, and her tongue was caressing my cock. I felt my cock swell and I tried to pull back, but she lightly scraped my shaft with her teeth.

That was all I needed.

"Fuck, I'm cumming …" I roared, as I felt my cum empty into her mouth. I held her head tightly, thrusting my cock with the last few pulses of my orgasm. My body shook with the tremors and it was the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced. I watched as her throat worked to swallow my cum which I thought was the hottest fucking thing ever. When I was finally done, she pulled off me with a pop. She looked up at me with the biggest shit eating, no; change that, cum eating grin I had ever seen.

I pulled her up, and caressed her cheek. My body was still flying from the force of the orgasm. "That was fan-fucking-tastic." She graced me with a soft smile. I kissed her hair, waiting for my heart to calm down when I felt her shift in my arms. I looked down to see her rubbing her thighs together. I knew just the solution to ease her pain. I bent down to her ear, gave it a flick and whispered, "My turn."

I pushed her up against the wall behind me and sank to my knees. Her pink glistening pussy was at eye level, teasing, and taunting me with its heady aroma. I dove into that pussy. "Oh, god." She cried out when my tongue licked her entire slit. Her tangy flavor coated my tongue and I started to salivate. She tasted so mother-fucking good. I felt her hands as they threaded through my hair, holding me to her pussy.

Like there was any other place, I wanted to be.

I teased around her folds, licking and sucking on them. My tongue found every drop of her juices and consumed them. I danced around her engorged clit and I felt her moving her hips, trying to maneuver me to where she wanted me the most. I chuckled at her eagerness and she shivered. I snaked an arm around her waist to hold her still. With my free hand, I spread her open and began to nibble every inch of her pussy. She cried out in frustration, and I gave myself an internal fist pump.

"Please, Edward … I need more." Her begging almost made me give in, but I steeled my resolve and ignored her pleas.

I was bound and determined to get her so worked up that when I did touch her clit, it would send her so far over the edge, I would have to keep her grounded. Plus it had been too long since I went down on a girl and I was enjoying myself. I looked up at her to see that she had gripped the edges of the display cases. The sight of her being so worked up had me stoked. Her eyes were closed and her body had such a beautiful flush to it. She uselessly tried to move her hips within my iron grasp. I could almost feel her body vibrate with the need to have me touch her clit. I was sure it had to be throbbing.

"Fuck, please." She pleaded as she tossed her head from side to side. I could feel her entire body trembling and shaking. I was certain she was so close to exploding and I couldn't wait to see her come apart all over my face.

To help her find some relief, I plunged two fingers deep inside and began a furious thrusting pace. The mewling, grunting, and panting were all the sounds Bella were capable of producing. It was all fucking music to my ears. She ground my face even closer to her pussy. Her scent was swirling around me a heady fog of girl and sex. My tongue was working overtime trying to lap up her juices, but she was leaking so much, I couldn't keep up. I could feel my face and chin being covered in her cream.

I continued to pump my fingers at a furious pace. I looked up to see her face scrunched up tight and her mouth open, panting hard. I dragged my fingers along the walls of her pussy and listened as her moans turned into a high pitch keening. Tears leaked out and I knew she was on the edge. Once I touched her clit, it would be game over.

I found that magical spongy spot deep inside her and pressed down as my lips wrapped around her swollen clit. I worked her clit hard sucking and flicking it. I was rewarded with her pussy clenching tightly around my fingers. I felt her entire body tense and her back bowed as the force of her orgasm ripped through her.

"Ohh … ahhhh, fuck … ungh … shit." That was all she could sputter out. I held her tight as I felt her pussy milk my fingers and I continued to stroke her g-spot through each wave of her orgasm. Her body shook and shivered as the last little bit rolled through her. When the last tremors subsided she looked down and smiled. I could feel her juices covering me.

"You do taste good." I told her as I began licking my fingers and rolling my tongue all around my lips. Her mouth fell open as she watched me taste her. I couldn't help the smirk that spread across my face.

She tore her gaze away from my face and trailed down my body. I could feel her stare as potent as if it was her touch. She lingered at my once again hardened cock and licked her lips. Her eyes were transfixed on my cock, constantly looking at me and then back at my dick. I knew she wanted it. Hell, I wanted to be buried so deep in her she'd feel me in her head.

I began to stroke my cock, gently, lazily. I knew I was teasing her, but it was too much fun. Taking it one step further, my hand darted out and flicked one of her nipples hard. I watched as her eyes rolled back and she hissed. Eventually she opened her eyes and went right back to staring at my cock. The tension between us arched and sizzled, I could feel it skating over my skin.

"Did one of your fantasies take place here? Did you imagine me fucking you when you drove your vibrator into your wet pussy?" The visuals those questions conjured in my head had my cock throbbing. Still I continued to casually stroke my cock. I could almost read her thoughts, she wanted me balls deep in her.

"Yes," she somehow managed to croak out. She licked her lips and I had to bite back a groan. I wasn't done teasing her yet. "It was one of my favorite ones," she whispered.

"Your favorite, hmm?" The idea that she thought of fucking me right here was mindboggling. After this night was over, I was going to need time to process everything. But for now, it was just me and her and I was going to take advantage of that fact.

When I couldn't stand it any longer, I pressed her body against mine. I could feel the heat rolling off her body, and I felt the way her chest moved as she panted with desire. It was just too fucking much for me to take in. I snaked my tongue out and licked from her collarbone to just beneath her ear. She tasted earthy and salty. Her gentle floral and vanilla aroma surrounded me. My hands captured both her nipples and began to pull and tug. They hardened under my ministrations and I was high on lust.

But it was Bella that took the cake. She was just so fucking responsive to my touches. Everything I did elicited some type of reaction from her. She sighed when I kissed her neck, moaned when I pinched her nipples, and groaned when I nibbled on her earlobe. Her hands roamed all over my body, leaving fiery trails in their wake. My body felt tight and tense, like I was ready to explode from my very skin.

"Please just fuck me, Edward. Please." She begged in a breathy voice. Her body rocked and arched against mine.

"I thought you'd never ask," I replied, as I roughly palmed her ass and picked her up. Her legs automatically encircled my waist and she wasted no time in grinding her pussy against my cock. She was so fucking warm and wet and I wasn't even inside her yet. For a brief moment, I worried that I would be a two pump chump, even though I blew a load earlier.

I moved us forcibly back against the wall and with one hand lined my cock with her sopping pussy. Her fingers clutched and dug into my shoulders. "Please," was all she said before I slammed into her in one smooth thrust.

Bella screamed when I filled her and I groaned at how tight she was around my cock. I wasn't even moving but it felt as if she had me in a vice grip. Not knowing how much experience she had had, I paused to let her adjust to the intrusion. My entire body was shaking with the need to just start fucking the ever loving shit out of her. I promised myself that if I got another chance to have sex with Bella, I'd take my time.

"More." She urged me by pressing the heels of her feet against my ass. That was all the encouragement I needed. I pulled out slowly, letting her feel every inch of my cock before I slammed back in. I felt her kiss my neck and shoulders as I steadily pumped in and out of her. My cock glided in her with ease as she was so wet. I closed my eyes to enjoy the sensations.

But when she pulled on my hair, my eyes opened and she crashed our lips together in a fierce demanding kiss. I felt her nibble on my lip only to thrust her tongue in my mouth and explore every inch. She rubbed her tits over my chest as she tried to get us as close as possible. I made sure that my thrusts never wavered, as my hands gripped her ass tightly.

After several minutes of my steady rhythm, she began to meet each inward thrust. Each movement by her caused her to impale herself even deeper. I swear I was banging against her cervix. The room was filled with our wordless grunts and sighs of pleasure. It was like we needed no words to communicate, we just followed where ever our bodies took us.

Soon the need to drive even deeper into her over took me. I braced my legs, dug my hands into her ass and drove into her harder, deeper. I tilted her pelvis so I could hit places that she never knew existed. I watched as her mouth opened in a wordless cry before I swallowed a deep groan. I nibbled on her lips and she held on for all she was worth.

Her warm breath caressed my cheek as she puffed and panted with desire. Our bodies were slick with sweat and the room heavy with the scent of sex. "Harder, faster." She pleaded as her hands dug into my shoulders. She was trying to meet me thrust for thrust.

Her pussy was so warm and tight, I wasn't sure how much longer I could hang on. "So, fucking tight," I whispered to her. Her heat surrounded me and I felt consumed by her. I closed my eyes to try and stave off the orgasm I knew was on its way.

"We look so good together." She stated and my eyes flew open to watch where were joined. It was the fucking hottest sight I had ever seen. My cock was covered in her juices and her pussy gripped me tightly. I latched onto the nipple that was near. I sucked hard and then bit down as I slammed into her.

Her screams filled the room. "Yes, oh god. Fuck … more … " She chanted. Once more I changed the angle of my thrust. All words from her cut off and she went back to the wordless cries and pleas.

"So, close … fuck Bella," I told her. My stomach was quivering and my cock was swelling. I turned my focus to Bella. I was bound and determined to make her come again if it was the last thing I ever did. Not knowing how close she was I somehow managed to snake a hand between us and found her clit. It was swollen, needy, and so slick. I felt the tell-tale fluttering of her pussy so I lightly flicked it. Her cries turned into pants and chants of yes and more. Not able to hold off, I pinched it hard and she exploded.

Her pussy gripped my cock and I couldn't help but hiss as I felt the spasms and ripples of her pussy. That was my undoing as I blasted my cum inside her. My cock was held in her fierce grip and was milked with each pulse of her orgasm. Bella's body shook and trembled with each wave of her orgasm and I slowly continued to thrust through it, drawing it for as long as I could.

When I felt her body slump onto mine, I finally gave into my shaking legs and we collapsed on the floor in a tangle of sweaty limbs. Our chests heaved with the need to draw oxygen into her our lungs. My mind was trying to sort everything out. But all thoughts were forgotten as she tenderly brushed a lock of my hair from my face and smiled. Bella looked like an angel. Her face was flushed, her eyes bright, and she looked as if lit from within. Gently I returned the favor and brushed some hair off her face. I was helpless to stop one of my crooked smiles from spreading across my face. I was just so fucking excited, scared, but excited as hell to figure out what this all meant.

As if she heard my thoughts, she cupped my cheek and kissed me softly, chastely. I could feel her emotions through that simple kiss and it made my heart race in anticipation. Looking at her, feeling her sweat-soaked body against mine, it felt right, perfect. She was utterly perfect for me.

"Thank you," we both said simultaneously and then we burst out in laughter. Tension that I wasn't aware was in the air, dissipated. In its wake there was calmness, a rightness that settled around us. I wanted to say something, but everything I thought of, I feared would break the magical bubble we were in. Then I felt her twine ours fingers together and give a small squeeze.

"I don't want to walk away from you," she softly confessed.

"Then don't," was all I could think to say. But once I did, I knew it was what I wanted. I hadn't been able to think of anything but her for months and I was done fighting it. She was who I wanted. Wordlessly, I pulled her up and walked her into the shower. I felt her eyes on me as I began to wash her body. It was all I could think to do to show her how much I cared for her. Afterwards, I dried her body and helped her get dressed. I kissed patches of her skin before I covered them up with clothing. When her soft sweater was on, I kissed her nose.

I packed up my hockey gear in silence and swung the bag onto my shoulder. Without looking at her, I held out my hand. I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt her place her warm hand in mine. I looked at our hands and realized how we just seemed to fit together.

Glancing up, I saw her looking at me and it nearly took my breath away. Tenderly, I stroked a lone finger down her face and smiled. "Let's go get something to eat and maybe you'll share the rest of your fantasies with me." She giggled and nodded, as we walked out of the locker room hand in hand.

**A/N: *turns on all the fans and hands out water* Hydrate ladies... please... Ok.. are we all alive? Does anyone need medical attention?**

**I cant wait to read your thoughts... but before that.. one note of business... Hockeyward is taking a week long break... I need time to really sort out where this story is going.. I have the next 2 chapters.. but I am unsettled about them. I don't want to rush this story.. so.. I hope you wont mind if I take a week to really get the 2nd half of this story plotted out.**

**Ok..now.. once the shaking and trembling has stopped.. hit review and let me have it! See ya in 2 weeks! *MWAH***


	18. Begining of Us

**A/N: I'm BACK! Did ya miss me? I SOOO MISSED YOU! Hockeyward is back and better than ever! Like you all know.. last chapter ended right where the one shot ended.. so from here on out.. its all me and new shit.. hence the need to take a break and figure shit out! I have a rough outline of about 13 to 15 more chapters... but... that could always change!**

**I must give HUGE props to my beta Itlnbrt who did this chapter twice because I wasn't happy with it. To my lovely pre-readers who love hockeyward something intense: fanfichardcore, JoJo757, and CullensTwiMistress.. *mwah***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just an urge to make Edward a fuck hawt hockey player... Ready to see what happened AFTER the locker room? ENJOY!**

The Beginning of Us

**BPOV**

_Brandy- The Boy Is Mine_

_You need to give it up  
Had about enough  
It's not hard to see  
The boy is mine  
I'm sorry that you  
Seem to be confused  
He belongs to me  
The boy is mine_

_I think it's time we got this straight_  
_Let's sit and talk face to face_  
_There is no way you could mistake_  
_Him for your man - are you insane_

His hand was warm in mine as we walked out of the arena and to his car. No words were spoken, but I didn't feel the pressure to fill the silence. My body was still tingling from my orgasms and my mind was buzzing with a million thoughts. I knew what ever was happening between us was in a fragile state. I was hoping that we would get a chance to talk at dinner. Until then, I basked in the aura of blissful contentment that surrounded us.

I snuggled against him as the cold night air hit my still heated body as we walked to his car. His arm wrapped smoothly around me and I felt him kiss my head. I closed my eyes and fought the urge to purr in delight. As we drew closer to his car, I heard the tell-tale beep of doors unlocking.

"This is me," he said softly. I smiled. It was as if he didn't want our bubble to burst either.

He shifted as he removed the huge hockey bag from his shoulders and popped the trunk open.

"That thing is so fucking huge," I exclaimed.

"That's what you said earlier." He quipped.

We both paused as the reality of what I just said sunk in. The silent night was broken by our loud raucous laughter. Edward was chortling so hard that it made me laugh even harder. I think I snorted a few times which sent Edward into another fit of laughter. We both held our stomachs as cramps set in.

I wiped tears from my eyes. "I can't believe I just said that. But you have to admit, that is one fricking huge bag." I kicked the aforementioned bag with my foot. "That thing is big enough to hide a couple dead bodies."

He chuckled. "Nope, we tried. Emmett couldn't fit. But we did get Alice in there once. She was so fucking mad at us. Told me that my bag stunk like rotten ass. Of course we asked her how she knew what that smelled like." He shook his head at the memory. "For such tiny thing, she can sure punch hard."

He turned back to his car and slung his ginormous bag into the trunk. "Is the diner okay for dinner?" He asked turning back to face me. He gently tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and dragged his knuckles down my face. My body erupted in chills.

With him touching me, I couldn't think, so I mutely nodded my head. How was it that a single touch from him made my body melt into a pile of goo? His hand continued down my arm until it reached my hand.

"Follow me?" he asked. Again, all I could do was nod. He squeezed my hand and kissed my nose. I watched as he gracefully slid into his car. On wobbly legs I made my way to mine. Edward waited until I pulled closer to him before he exited the parking lot and made his way to the diner.

I used the short little trip to try and gather my wits about me. It wasn't going to do me any good if I became a nitwit whenever he touched me. Plus, I had a feeling we would end up doing some talking tonight and I needed to make sure that by the end of the night, we were a couple. Even with all that had happened, I wasn't sure us being a couple was a foregone conclusion.

Edward had parked the car and was waiting patiently for me to do the same. Once I had stopped, he flew over to my side and opened the door before I even had the chance to do so myself. I smiled at him, such manners. A girl could get used to that.

"Hungry? I know I am." He asked with a wink.

I threaded our hands together. "I'm starving." I gave him a wink and his face took on a faint blush. I tugged him forward. "Come on, I've worked up an appetite."

He laughed as we walked into the diner. Since it was after the dinner rush, there were only a few people seated. I pulled us to a booth and slid in. Much to my astonishment and excitement, Edward sat right next to me. I could feel the heat from his body as it bathed one side of me. Trying to stay focused and in control was going to be a problem.

In companionable quiet we perused the menus and by the time our waitress came to take our drink orders, we were ready to order. I ordered a cherry coke with a cheeseburger and fries and Edward ordered a Mountain Dew with a bacon cheeseburger and onion rings.

"So …" we both said simultaneously when our waitress walked away with our order. We both giggled and Edward motioned for me to go first.

I bit my lips as I tried to gather my thoughts. There was so much that I wanted to say, things that I needed to say. I turned to look at him, seeing the trepidation and fear in his eyes. It was then that I realized that we both were uncertain of each other and where this thing between us was headed. I needed to be honest with him; I owed it to us both to be honest.

"What I said earlier, I wasn't lying. I do like you. I have liked you for over a year." With each word I spoke, his face lost its apprehension and he began to relax. The thought that he worried our little locker room tryst was a one-time thing warmed my heart. It confirmed that he wanted more.

"And while I may have gone to the extreme to get you to notice me …" I paused as a rush of images flooded my mind. "It doesn't mean that it meant any less to me." I took a deep breath, it was time lay it all on the table. "I am hoping that tonight wasn't a one-time thing, that we can be more," I was whispering and my voice was trembling with anxiety. Our fate rested in his hands.

But the smile on his face was absolutely beaming, it nearly blew away. In that brief second, I realized that I had the potential to make this beautiful boy mine.

"I want that too, Bella." I shivered as my name fell off his tongue and the implications of his words sunk in. Then right before my eyes, I watched him get pensive. "I haven't wanted you as long as you've wanted me, but I want you to know I have always liked you. Even when we were friends. I loved that I could have you as a friend. But lately I realized I wanted to be more than your friend."

His words melted my heart. I reached over to clasp his hand, which had been gripping his thigh tightly. Gently, I worked to get him to relax his hand and when he did, I twined our fingers together. He wanted more and that was all I needed to know.

"It doesn't matter how long we've liked each other, what does matter is today and what we want. I want to be yours and only yours, Edward."

He leaned into me and placed his other hand behind my neck and pulled me closer until we were resting forehead to forehead. "I want to be only yours as well." He placed a soft kiss on my nose.

But the intimate moment burst when the food arrived. We pulled away from each other but kept our hands together under the table while our food was placed on the table. When she left, both of our stomachs growled, reminding us of just how hungry we were. Reluctantly, we unwound our hands and dug into the food.

As we ate, he discussed tomorrow's game against Port A and it was fascinating to get an in-depth look at how he lives and breathes hockey. We commiserated over the teachers we had that year and he asked me a bit about my move to Forks.

I was taking a huge gulp of my pop when Edward blurted out, "So, care to share those fantasies you mentioned earlier?"

I spat out the liquid and began coughing up the stuff that trickled down my throat. Edward began pounding on my back as I tried not to hack up a lung. Tears came to my eyes as I struggled to breathe normally.

"Dude, you can't just say shit like that!" He laughed and I slapped his shoulder. "Just for that, I'm not gonna tell you squat." I pouted and Edward sidled up to me.

"Aww, don't be like that." I refused to look at him, knowing that if I did I would give in to him. That boy was pure kryptonite.

Then I felt his warm breath on my ear and his hand was gently stroking my arm. "Please, baby? Just one little fantasy." His voice was like liquid sex and it oozed all over my body causing goose bumps to erupt all over my skin. I felt his tongue as it traced the shell of my ear. He didn't play fair at all.

Thank the heavens, our waitress chose that moment to come over. "Can I get you kids anything else?"

I was already shaking my head. "No, just the check please." She smiled at us as she ripped the ticket off her pad. "Thanks have a nice night you two." She threw me a wink. I choked back a laugh.

When I finally got the guts to look at Edward, his green eyes bored into mine. They were so pleading and intense that I almost gave in. Instead I gripped his chin and held it firmly.

"Nope." That time I kissed his nose and slid out of the booth. I picked up the ticket and slapped it against his chest. "Thanks for dinner, baby."

I heard him groan as he made to follow me to the register. As he was settling the bill, I wrapped my arms around his waist. The scent that I associated with Edward surrounded me, musk, earth and all man. I burrowed my face into his chest. His free arm came around me and he pulled me even tighter.

That was how we walked out of the diner, arm in arm. It was like it had always been that way. Since we had parked next to each other, Edward pulled me over to his car and leaned back, bringing me between his legs. I snuggled closer and his arm went around me.

"Can I pick you up for school?" he asked me softly. I peeked up at him and he was looking at me shyly, as if he wasn't sure I'd accept. I had thought we both knew where we stood, but maybe I needed to make it clearer for him.

"I'd like that. I mean, that is something a boyfriend does for his girlfriend, right?" I smiled at him, trying to convey that I was more than fine with everything. His face broke out with a brilliant smile. His shoulders relaxed and he pulled me closer.

"Yeah, it's exactly the kind of thing I would do for my girlfriend." I felt his lips kiss my hair and his hands stroked my back. When a gust of wind whipped through the parking lot, I couldn't help but shiver. "Time to get you into your car and get you warm. I can't have my girlfriend miss my first game of the season."

I shook my head. "Nope, that would make me a horrible girlfriend." I pulled back to look at him. The shadows hit just so, throwing his face into stark relief. It gave him an air of danger and it excited me.

Edward speaking brought me back to the here and now. "I was wondering if you'd like … and you can say no if you want … I mean I don't want you to feel as if you need to … but it would be cool …" I placed my fingers on his lips.

"You're rambling. Just spit it out." I moved my hands from around his waist to around his neck and pulled him down. "It's just me, Edward. I'm still Bella. There's no need to be nervous around me. We'll figure things out as we go, so, chill. Okay?"

He nodded. "Sorry." He blew out a cleansing breath. "I was wondering if you wanted to wear my jersey tomorrow." He looked at me through lowered lashes. I wanted to kiss him senseless and then ride his dick like a pogo stick. Giving myself an internal shake, I focused on his question.

"Yes, I would be honored."

Edward squeezed me and then whipped open the doors of his car. He reached into the backseat and came out with a white hockey jersey. I could see part of the green and black Spartan head and part of his name. My heart thudded in my chest at the idea that I'd wearing his jersey. I wanted to do a little screaming and dancing, but I figured that would freak him out.

Instead, I tried not to squeal like a fan girl when he shook it out and showed me the black number thirteen and CULLEN written in block letters.

"It's a jersey from last year and I sometimes use it as a practice jersey. But I want you to have it." He bit his lip and I knew there was more. "If you want, you can wear it at school too."

His intentions were written clearly across his face. He wanted everyone to know we were together. It seemed the girls were right, he was jealous of the all the attention I was getting from other guys. I gave him a sweet smile.

"Are you marking your territory, Cullen? Wanting to make sure everyone knows I am taken?"

I swore I heard him growl. "Yes," he hissed out. "I've waited too long, no need to hide it."

"You realize it will make a splash at school. You ready for that?" I didn't know why I was giving him an out. Maybe I was still a tad insecure I wouldn't be good enough for him. Or maybe I worried it was all too good to be true. Whatever the reason, I waited anxiously for his response.

His face softened as his hands framed my face. "Bella, you don't know how many times I wanted to tell you that I liked you." He shook his head with a faraway look on his face, but then focused back on me. "So, yeah, I am more than ready to let everyone know. Why hide?" He brought his face closer till our lips were millimeters apart and we were breathing each other in. "I have a beautiful girl who is mine. I want them all to know."

Then his lips were on mine, soft, teasing. He lightly sucked my lower lip before he placed several chaste kisses on my lips. My insides went gooey and I wanted to mount him again. When he pulled back I gulped in huge amounts of air, forgetting that I still needed to breathe.

"I … I'd love t-t-to wear it," I stuttered out. Kisses from this man were going to be my undoing.

"Sweet," he replied as he hung the jersey over my shoulder. He maneuvered me to my car and opened the door. "I'll pick you up in the morning." I tossed my purse and the jersey on the passenger seat and slid into the car. He closed the door and I started it to get some warmth flowing, but still rolled down the windows to talk to Edward.

He stuck his head in and puckered his lips. I laughed as I placed a chaste kiss on them. "Night, Edward."

"Night, Bella." He took a few steps and I rolled the window up. I shivered as the warm air enveloped me. My eyes followed him as he walked to his car and got in. On impulse, I opened the passenger window and leaned toward it. Edward rolled his window down and stuck his head out.

"Before I forget, the answer your question from earlier …" I paused and watched as his eyes danced in anticipation. "Penalty box." I winked at him and in one smooth motion I rolled the window up and put the car in reverse. The last image I saw was of Edward's shocked face.

The next morning, I took extra care with getting ready. Not only did I want to look good for Edward, but I wanted to look as if I belonged with him. I knew that there would be some unhappy hockey whores and I wanted to make sure I gave them no ammunition.

I wore a long sleeved t-shirt under the jersey and paired it with a pair of black skinny jeans. I slipped on the pair of Ugg boots that Rose gave me for my birthday. I pinned back my hair, glossed my lips and added a hint of mascara on my lashes before I deemed myself ready.

I only had to wait a few minutes before Edward's shiny Volvo pulled into my driveway. I was glad that Charlie had already left for the day. I wasn't ready to do the whole meet the parent thing. If I was lucky that could happen at graduation- from college.

As I walked out the door, he met me at the passenger side and opened the door for me. He raced to the other side and gracefully folded his body in. Before the door was even closed, he was kissing me. It started chaste, but when I started to trace his lips with the tip of my tongue, he parted his and we began tasting and teasing each other. His hand cupped the back of my head to pull me closer while my hands grasped his arms.

My entire body thrummed with need for that gorgeous creature. When we finally pulled away to breathe, I whispered, "Good morning."

Edward chuckled. "Good morning." Seconds later we were on our way and scant minutes later we were pulling into the parking lot. Anxiety coursed through me, my heart was beating wildly, and my mind was going to the dark places of all the bad shit that could happen. Fear that there was no way I could survive that day coursed through me.

My eyes were glued to all the people who were milling around, who would be witness to the newest couple at Folks presenting themselves. The old Bella cowered in a corner and the new Bella was frozen, uncertain where her courage went.

Then I felt his warm hand on mine, trying to pry it loose from the death grip I had on my backpack strap. "Breathe Bella."

Air whooshed out of me as I turned fear-filled eyes toward him. I wanted to be strong for him. He deserved a strong, confident person. Plus, I wasn't sure what I was panicking over. One of his hands slid up my arm and cupped my cheek. I nuzzled his palm, letting his heat thaw me from the fear that held me prisoner.

"There is nothing to worry about. Sure we'll be news, but who gives a flying fuck? The only people that we need to worry about are our friends. We know they will be more than fine with this. Anyone else, screw them."

With each word he spoke, the fear evaporated and it was replaced with steely determination. I belonged at his side. It's what I fought and strived for and I was with him, I was going to show I deserved to be by his side.

He smiled at me as he saw the terror abate, replaced with courage and fortitude. "There's my girl."

Hearing him call me his thawed me even more and infused my body with a heat so intense I worried I would start to sweat. "Now, let me give you a kiss."

I nodded mutely, caught in his jade eyes and leaned forward to feel his soft lips as they brushed against mine. It started so soft and tender, but the jolt of electricity that zinged between us made me want to crush our lips together. So that was what I did.

I pulled him by the scruff of the neck and mashed our lips tight. I forced his lips open and thrust my tongue into his warm mouth. I poured every ounce of tension and anxiety into that kiss and Edward absorbed it all. His large hands framed my face and held onto me tightly. I sucked, licked, and nipped on his lips and tongue. It was bruising and rough, but it helped soothe my frazzled nerves.

When our bodies screamed for oxygen I yanked him off me and we heaved huge gulps of air. Edward sported one hell of a smile and swollen lips. His hands were still at my face and his thumbs were rubbing soft circles on the apple of my cheeks.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yes," I breathed. "I'm sorry … don't know …"

His thumbs stilled my lips. "No need, I understand."

He held my gaze and when I felt calm and collected, I nodded. He squeezed my neck before he released me to open his door. With one calming breath, I opened the door and walked to where he waited for me with his hand outstretched. Like we had done this a million times, our hands threaded together and we walked toward whatever was in store for us.

I would like to think it was fortunate that Emmett spied us first. His easy going demeanor was able to remove the last remnants of my anxiety.

"About fucking time you two!" he crowed as he stood to give us a one man standing ovation. That was until Jazz, Rose, and Alice all turned to look at what he was taking about and they joined in. The girls were cheering, hooting, and clapping like mad men while Jazz just gave us a lazy smile.

When we were about five feet from them, the girls rushed at me, tearing me from Edward, and engulfing me in their arms. They were talking excitedly over each other asking me how it happened and demanding the details.

So I launched into the PG version of our triple X-rated start. In a phone conversation last night we both agreed that while we were not ashamed of what happened last night, we also didn't feel that everyone had to be privy to all the details. Our heavily edited story was that I cornered him as he was leaving the arena after practice and made it known I liked him.

"Never knew you had it in you, Bella," commented Rose. I shoved her away.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. If she only knew half the stuff I had done to get to that point she would shit bricks.

Alice on the other had expressed her confidence in my skills. "I knew you could make the first move." She moved to whisper in my ear. "You guys look amazing together."

I nodded my head, I felt amazing by his side. I could hear Edward telling the boys the story, Emmett was laughing while Jazz looked thoughtful. What I wouldn't give to read his thoughts. He always had the ability to cut through the bullshit.

"You got some balls there, little Bells." Emmett made to ruffle my hair but a bitch brow from me and Rose stopped it. Instead he picked me up and swung me around.

"Emmett! Let me down!" I screamed as he spun faster.

"Dude, let my girlfriend go," commanded Edward. I felt his hands on me as he took me from Emmett's grasp. I rested my head on his chest as I waited for the rest of the world to stop spinning and contemplated that Edward called me his girlfriend. When I could see straight I spotted Rose and Alice watching me cuddling with Edward. Their faces were smiling so much, it was almost comical.

Our little bubble of excitement burst when the warning bell rang and we had to scamper off to class. In a weird, but really cool move, the six of us paired off, hands clasped, and walked toward the front doors. For a second it felt like some cheesy slo-mo scene from a lame teen movie. But I cared not. I was holding hands with Edward- my boyfriend.

Since our first period rooms were at different ends of the school, we kissed goodbye at our lockers which were just across the hall from each other. I took off my jacket and heard a gasp behind me. I whirled to find Lauren staring at the jersey I was wearing.

Her mouth opened and closed several times, before her face grew pinched and pissed off looking as she stormed off. Alice and Rose witnessed the entire bizarre scene.

"What the fuck was that about?" I asked them both.

"You're wearing his jersey, Bella. That is the ultimate declaration of you guys being together," answered Rose. "He's not available and all the delusions the whore's had about landing him are now shattered."

Alice waved Rose off. "She's just a bitch who couldn't take a hint. Give her no thought." She linked her arm through mine. "I want more details."

I gave her a look that said, "What more do ya want to know?"

"Is he a good kisser?" She smirked and the three of us busted out laughing as we walked to class.

It would have been too much to hope that the jovial start to my day would last. It wasn't as if it was bad, just odd. There were hushed whispers and stares wherever I went. Whenever I passed a member of the hockey whores I was greeted with sneers, glares, and muttered curses. I ignored them for the most part. They just had a huge case of bitter grapes. They were envious of what I had.

Still, a few people had manners and tact. Angela was full of smiles as she asked if it was true that Edward and I were dating. When I confirmed it, she squealed and I laughed with her. Lucy was happy for me and then joked that if I hurt him she would hunt me down. I swore to her I wouldn't and then we hugged.

So when I entered the lunch room I was riding high. That was until I overheard Jess and Tanya discussing me. They were on the other side of the checkout line and didn't know I could hear them. They were convinced that he was only with me because I was putting out and they were confident that Edward would drop me soon.

Silently I fumed as I tried my best not to rearrange their faces. That was how Alice found me and before she could question me, she heard Tanya cackle about how I had nothing to hold Edward. She pulled me out of the line and to our table. It was only then that I realized I was shaking. No matter how much I tried to calm down, I just couldn't stop shaking.

That was how Edward found me and I cursed that once again he had to see me lose my shit. It pissed me off that they could make me feel this way. Alice told him and the rest of the table in hushed tones what she overheard earlier. Rose's face was murderous, Em and Jazz looked disgusted, and Edward looked thunderous.

I buried my face in his chest, breathing in his smell while letting it wash over me as it eased my frazzled nerves. I heard my friends loving words as they reminded me that I was better than they were and how they were nothing but jealous. Edward said nothing as he held me close and rubbed my back.

When the shaking finally stopped, I looked up at Edward so sure that I would see revulsion in his eyes that he would find me weak. Instead, I found concern and worry and I hated it. I smoothed the wrinkle that was between his eyes.

"You are what I want, Bella," he whispered. "They're nothing. I never wanted them, never will. Forget about them."

He was right. They weren't worth my time.

"Sorry," I whispered. He shook his head.

"There's no need." He kissed my nose and offered me the apple off his tray. We held hands under the table as we discussed tonight's game. By the time lunch was over, I was back to confident Bella. One more kiss and I left to face the last few hours of school.

I knew there were still stares and grumbles, but I took the "fuck them all" attitude. Of course that didn't stop me from counting down the minutes until I was free from that crazy ass day and with Edward. So when the last bell sounded, I raced to my locker and then outside. Rose and Alice were already there. I collapsed next to Alice and she chuckled.

"How'd the rest of the day go?" she asked.

"Fine. Just exhausting trying to block it all out." I looked at my friend who gave me a sympathetic pat on my head. "Where are the boys?"

"Edward and Jasper had to go to the library to get something for a project they're working on and Emmett went with them. And they get all confused about women going to the bathroom in packs." We all laughed at that.

"Not so sure what you have to laugh at, Bella. You know this thing with Edward isn't going to last." The grating voice of Tanya interrupted the light moment with my friends.

Her face was sneering and from behind her was Jess and Lauren. Their faces were contorted with loathe and disgust. I felt my girls snap to attention and stand behind me. Just knowing they had my back; it was all the comfort and strength I needed.

"I could care less what you think, Tanya. In fact I am surprised you can think and stand at the same time." My girls laughed and Tanya grew more ticked off.

"Edward is too good for you. You are nothing to him but a play thing. Once he's through with you, he'll find himself a real woman." She preened in front of me as if trying to prove she was more woman than me.

In the back of my mind I remembered all those hurtful things she spouted, in front of Edward no less. She was trying to do the same thing now, make me feel inferior to her. I wasn't going to stand around and take her shit or anyone else's for that matter.

Rose snorted. "Between the three of you, you don't have enough original parts to make a real woman." We laughed as they puzzled out what she meant.

"Fuck off, Rose," bellowed Lauren.

"You've got nothing for him, Bella," shouted Jessica. "He is the most popular guy in school and he's slumming it with you. He should be with someone who's just as popular as him. You are a nothing- a pathetic nobody- who thought she could play dress up and get the guy."

"Jess the only reason why you're popular is because your legs are open 24/7. You've served more people than McDonald's," scoffed Alice. Jess' face grew red.

Suddenly, I had a light bulb moment. It hit me hard and fast listening to the three skanks talk about Edward as if he was an object. I was sickened and disgusted that I treated him no better than they were. I pursued him like he was something to be had.

I wanted to scream, but then I realized that I had something these fucktards didn't have. I had real feelings for Edward. I cared how he was feeling; I reveled in his successes, and felt his failures. He was a sweet guy who treated me with tenderness and kindness. I vowed that after I was through dealing with these bitches that I would start showing him how much I cared about him. I would show him and the world that I deserved to stand by his side.

I focused my attention back to the skanks. "I don't know what you thought would happen here, Tanya. You can say whatever you want, still not going to change the fact that I'm with Edward and you're not. In fact, you're coming off as a little pathetic and desperate." I gave her a little smirk as I crossed my arms in front of me.

"Why you little bitch," she snarled.

Then all hell broke loose.

**EPOV**

_Gym Class Heroes w/ Adam Levine- Stereo Hearts_

_Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping tracks  
It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks  
I used to, used to, used to, now I'm over that  
'Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts_

_If I could only find a note to make you understand_  
_I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand_  
_Just keep it stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune_  
_And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you_

_My heart's a stereo_  
_It beats for you, so listen close_  
_Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te_  
_Make me your radio_  
_And turn me up when you feel low_  
_This melody was meant for you_  
_Just sing along to my stereo_

"About fucking time you guys," whined Emmett as he pushed off the wall he was waiting against.

Jasper and I had just walked out of the library after trying to track down some books for a project. The entire time we were there I was trying my best to rush through it, eager to get back to Bella. Not having any classes together that semester was torture and I was contemplating the ways to see if I could make sure we had more next semester.

"We were in there for less than fifteen minutes, cool your britches," barked Jasper as he walked past Em. I could tell from Jasper's tone that he was none too pleased at me for being unhelpful in the library. I promised that I would add a little extra effort on the rest of the project to make up for it.

Em shot me a look asking me what was up with Jazz and all I did was smile sheepishly at him.

"You were no help were you?" he asked with a sly smile.

I shook my head. "Nope." I couldn't stop the smile if I wanted to.

We took the side exit next to the library instead of walking through the school, so when we rounded the corner we were greeted with the skank crew facing off with Bella and the girls. We heard the insults Tanya was hurling at Bella and every bone in my body poised to storm over there and put an end to it.

But before I could storm off, I felt two pairs of strong arms clamp down on mine.

"What the fuck you two. Let me go. Can't you see what's going on?" I gestured over to where the showdown was happening.

"Yeah, we see it. But you need to let her handle this," replied Emmett. He was trying to make his voice soothing but it grated on my nerves. I struggled uselessly in their grip.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go over there and stop it?" I panted in frustration.

"Because, Edward, she needs to handle this on her own. She has been the center of talk and speculation and if she can't stand up for herself now, it's only going to get worse." Jazz leveled me with one of his steely gazes.

I gave a half-hearted attempt to get loose before I slumped in defeat. He was right. I heard the talk all day. While most wondered what I saw in Bella, I heard what the girls were saying about her and what services she must have been providing to get me interested. I hated the pettiness and catty attitudes that most of the popular girls in school had. It was sickening.

But if Bella couldn't handle this on her own it was only going to get worse. If she could show them right then and there she wasn't someone to be trifled with, there was a good chance she'd be left alone.

Their hands released me and I straightened my shirt and tie I wore on game day and faced them both. "Fine, I'll let her handle it. But if it gets out of control and she is in danger, all bets are off."

Em clapped my shoulder. "Dude, don't worry. My Rosie has her back." I could hear the pride in his voice as he spoke about his girl.

We walked to get closer, but stayed out of the girl's sightline. Which was a good thing as Tanya just called Bella a bitch and launched herself at her. She pushed Bella hard on her chest and she stumbled into Rose who steadied her. When Bella was stable, I watched her right hand curl into a fist and cold clocked Tanya on the face.

Tanya fell to the ground and both Jess and Lauren tried to gang-rush Bella but the other girls were too quick. Alice grabbed Jess' ponytail and whipped her around and swept her feet right from under her. Jess went down like a ton of bricks. Meanwhile Rose twisted one of Lauren's hands behind her back and lifted up, causing Lauren to fall to her knees.

"Fuck," muttered the three of us. I was slightly turned on by watching the cat fight before us. The three of us shifted around to quell the growing arousal our girls inspired in us.

All three girls towered over the skanks on the ground. Their eyes were blazing with fury, chests heaving with exertion and they looked glorious.

Bella leaned down till she was almost inches from Tanya's face.

"Touch me again and I won't just stop at one punch. I'm a cop's daughter, you don't fuck with me. You will leave me _and _Edward alone. He is mine! Do you understand?" Tanya glared at Bella but said nothing.

"I said, do you understand me?" Bella punctuated each word by digging the toe of her shoe into Tanya's side while the others put the pinch on the Lauren and Jess.

"Yes," all three of them cried out. The girls released them and without another glance back, they walked toward the cars. The whole thing almost made me want to skip the game and go make out with Bella. If only I wasn't the captain.

Close to two hours later while I was in the locker room going through my pre-game ritual while my thoughts were pre-occupied with Bella. The girls were a little shocked and embarrassed to find out we witnessed most of the showdown. But once we informed them we found it hot, they were calmer. Unfortunately Jasper and I couldn't stay long as we had to hurry up and eat a little something before we headed over to the arena.

Everyone else was headed over to Rose's house for dinner before they made their way to the game. While the other couples headed to Em's jeep, I pulled Bella off to the side. I wrapped my arms around her, just needing to feel her. We swayed from side to side, my nose buried into her hair.

I rubbed my hands up and down her back, trying to relax her, ease her anger and fury. Her soft lips were kissing a circuit from my neck to my jaw and back again. When I felt her body settle at last, I cupped her face tilted it up, and placed small chaste little kisses on her lips and cheek.

"You were beautiful, Bella. A spectacular sight." I kissed her nose.

She blushed and buried her face in my chest. All too soon, our little bubble burst as Em honked, trying to get us moving.

"Play hard, baby," she whispered before kissing me sweetly.

"Always," I replied with a wink. She pulled away all too soon and hopped into the jeep. With a wave she was gone and I had only a short time to get my head in the game.

I was brought back to the locker room when the coach entered, and gathered us around. My eyes glanced at the wall I fucked Bella up against and I felt the familiar tightening in my groin. As the coach droned on about a new season and new opportunities, I made myself a promise, if I won the state championship-I would fuck Bella there again.

We lined up in the hallway, waiting for our cue to take the ice. I pushed aside thoughts of naked Bella and instead focused on the game ahead. I was playing the first of many games with Bella in the stands as my girlfriend and I was determined to give her a show.

**A/N: Ahhh.. told ya Tanya and the other whore were gonna get theirs! hehe... I love the idea of Bella wearing his jersey... hmm sexy! Ok.. Leave me your thoughts... you know I love to read them! Until next Tuesday! See ya!**


	19. Let's Get Ready to Rumble

**A/N: I could hear you cheering on Bella and the girls all the way over here! WOOP WOOP! I want to say HELLO & WELCOME to all the new people who alerted and faved Hockeyward!**

**Love to the ladies who make this look good: Itlnbrt- my fabu beta who is teaching me shit! To CullensTwiMistress, JoJo757, & fanfichardcore who pre-read and drool over hockeyward as much as I do! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does. I write this as its the only hockey I'll get! Enjoy and there is some citrusy goodness.. just a smidge!**

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

**EPOV**

_Lifehouse- First Time_

_We're both looking for something  
We've been afraid to find  
It's easier to be broken  
It's easier to hide  
Looking at you, holding my breath,  
For once in my life, I'm scared to death,  
I'm taking a chance, letting you inside._

As the horn sounded signaling the end of the first period, I looked up at the scoreboard in disgust. We were down three-zip against Port A, and I was livid. I knew it was the first game and all, but we were better than how we were playing. Our defense was all over the place, leaving obvious holes that left our goalie high and dry.

But I couldn't lay all the blame on the defense, offense wasn't doing their job either. We were sluggish, sloppy, and trying to be too cute. We needed to go back to the basics, hard skating, clean passes, and most of all we needed to hustle.

I caught coach's eye as I walked past to head toward the locker room. I was sure my anger was all over my face, but I couldn't help it. I was pissed.

He stepped in front of me. "Go be the captain. I'll give you a few minutes." He looked me square in the eye as he said it, communicating that it was okay for me to step up, that is was necessary for me to do so. I nodded and took off down the hallway.

My thoughts were swirling as I walked down the short hallway. I tried to order them in a way that would make sense, and that would sound like I knew what I was doing. But nothing felt right. I didn't want to sound scripted. So I gave an internal "fuck it" before I threw the doors open.

They slammed against the wall with a loud bang and it caused several players to jump and turn around. They all froze when they spotted me. I didn't bother trying to school my features into something pleasant. I let all of the anger, disappointment, and disgust I felt be telegraphed on my face.

"I don't know about you, but the score sickens me. I know we are better than that." Several people looked away, feeling the shame. "And I wonder if maybe we should just stay in here when intermission is over, not even bother to go out and play the remaining two periods."

A few heads snapped up at that and looked at me in confusion. I looked each of them in the eyes. "I mean, if we are going to play the next two like we did the first …" I gave a casual shrug. "What's the point in going out if we are going to hand them the win with the way we are playing."

More than a few heads started to nod with me. Getting the point I was trying to make.

"Now, I know that we're better … that we can do better … question is … do we _want _to do better?" Heads started to nod and players started hopping from skate to skate, trying to psyche themselves up.

"I said … question is … do we WANT to do better?" I raised my voice, trying to get them pumped even more. A few mumbles could be heard, but it wasn't nearly enough, I wanted them yelling and screaming.

"I can't fucking hear you, boys," I screamed at them. A chorus of "hell yeah's", "let's get them", and general whooping and shouting resounded back at me. I smiled and when coach walked in, I gestured to the group of rowdy boys as to say, "they are all yours now." He shook his head and gathered us around the board and started laying down a new game plan.

We came charging out of the tunnel and flew onto the ice for a quick spin at the start of the second period. Coach mixed up a few lines to try and generate some energy and action. To start the period, I was paired with Jasper on the other wing and Chris on center with Scott and Jack as our defense. Jack was a freshman, but he had great raw skills. If he could model his work ethic after Scott, he'd be one hell of a defenseman.

The whistle blew and I took my position. I shut out the crowd, but I did let my thoughts linger to the idea that Bella's eyes were on me right at that moment. I refused to let the first game she watched as my girlfriend end up in a loss. We had a huge hole to dig ourselves out of, but it wasn't impossible.

I angled myself up to the red line and cocked my head in order to see the puck and the opposing player. The second I saw that the puck was dropped, I angled my body to give the other player a nudge and open myself up. Chris controlled the face off and pulled back to give us time to get moving.

The puck was passed to Scott who started forward and shot it off to Jasper who was at the offensive blue line where he skated in deep, before a defenseman was on his ass. He took the hit but bounced the puck against the wall where I scrambled to pick it up.

Out of my peripheral vision I spotted Chris down low, trying his best to set up a screen. Scott and Jack were trying to clear up lanes for us, to give us room to skate. I scooped up the puck and dug down toward the corner where I got pinned down. I heard Jasper shouting and I whipped my head around, trying to find him. I spotted him coming from behind the goal and I poked the puck out.

When I was released from the boards, I set myself up high on the circle while Jazz set up camp behind the goal. The defense was trying to get Jasper to commit one way, but he played it cool. When the defense made a huge step toward his left side, Jazz flicked the puck back to me. I took a quick shot which the goalie got a piece of it, but it rebounded straight to Chris who blasted a wrist shot right by him.

The horn sounded and the crowd went nuts. We were finally on the board. We swarmed Chris, patting him and celebrating the goal before he led us over to the bench to slap gloves with the rest of the team. We switched out lines so I hopped over the boards and let the second line continue with the momentum that we got rolling.

As the game continued, I tried periodically to scope the stands looking for Bella. Jazz was next to me one time, so I asked him if he knew where the girls would be sitting.

He looked over at the student section. "I think they are like fifteen rows from ice level over by the penalty box." We both looked that way and tried to scan the crowd. I couldn't spot her, but just knowing she was there wearing my jersey was good enough.

We turned our attention back onto the ice where we were pushed back into our zone and we were having trouble digging it out. I spotted one of Port A's d-men drifting down in the hopes that the puck would be shot back to him. The risky part with that move was that it opened up the possibility of the other team getting the puck and flying down on a breakaway.

When he drifted even further down, several of us on the bench started yelling out that there was a drifter. Our d-men started to slide over, angling themselves to get the puck. When Tyler flushed the puck out, Kyle, a freshman defenseman, picked it up and took off like a bat out of hell down the ice.

We all stood up on the bench as did most of the arena as we watched him fly. Tyler and Steve busted tail to give him support, but Kyle was in the zone. I never knew he could skate like that. The goalie was focused on him and in a brilliant move, dropped the puck behind him to Tyler who passed it off quickly to Steve without looking who was able to get a shot off that the goalie never had time to block.

Just like that, we were just one goal down. The arena went fucking nuts! Steve was swarmed by his line as they congratulated him on the goal. A few even swatted Kyle on the back for setting up the whole play. When they came back to the bench, I could hear Kyle mumbling.

"It worked. It motherfucking worked!"

I looked over at him. "Why are you surprised the play worked?"

"In practice we never got the timing right, the goalie always had time to move over." He shook his head.

"I can't believe it worked." I chuckled at him and smacked his head.

"Welcome to the team."

By the end of the second period, we were still down by one. The good thing was that we held Port Angeles scoreless. We were able to make adjustments that allowed us to score but it also kept them from scoring as well. While coach talked about the defense playing tight and letting the forwards know to get a bit aggressive, I decided I would try and draw some penalties. I had to tread a careful line so it wasn't me that ended up in the box. If we had the man advantage, I knew we could score.

The first five minutes of the third was intense. Port A came screaming out, trying to be large and in charge. That however, created good chances to try and trip them up. You get sloppier the more aggressive and desperate you play. Unfortunately, I got called for a tripping penalty and I was sent to the box.

As soon as I sat down and my penalty was announced I heard a loud, pissed off voice.

"Keep your head in the game, Cullen." I turned and looked over my shoulder and there was Bella standing up wearing my jersey, pissed as all get out. I threw her a sheepish smile, which made her narrow her eyes.

She looked at the scoreboard, back at me, and then did it a few more times. The message was clear; there wasn't time for me to make stupid mistakes. She then cupped her hand and placed it on her jersey where the captains C would be and pointed at me.

"Play smarter, play better." Then she stomped back to her seat without another word.

She was right. I was the captain and I set a poor example by getting a stupid penalty. I needed to play better, harder, and smarter. As the final few seconds of my penalty expired, I looked over at the coach who let me know I was to get to the bench ASAP. I nodded so he knew I understood and focused back on the game.

Port A was in their end trying to mount one last rally, but as the time ran out and I exploded out of the box, I broke up their offensive play, shot the puck back in their end, and went to the bench. I took coach's little rant about my penalty with some humility. But when his rant was over, he patted me on the helmet, letting me know everything was going to be just fine.

About five minutes later Jasper scored off a rebound of one of my shots. He slipped it under the goalie's pads and like that we were tied. I glanced up at the clock to see that we little over seven minutes to try and take the lead.

With score now tied, Port A took a time out to try and regroup. We all surrounded coach as he reminded us to play smart, but to keep being aggressive.

"Hustle out there. They are getting tired and they are coming unglued. Start throwing everything at the goalie. Someone get down low, create screens, try and pick up those sloppy rebounds." We were all nodding our heads. It was the time to crank it up.

The horn sounded the end of the time out and the teams lined up at the red line for the puck drop. The crowd was really into the game, making the arena shake with the noise. You could feel the energy and excitement in the air; it charged us, giving us that little extra boost.

Back and forth the game went. Port A had some good scoring chances, but you could see that as time wore on, they were slowing down, and making plenty of mistakes. We spent most of the time in their zone and we were peppering their goalie with everything we had.

With less than minutes left, coach put me, Jasper, Tyler, Kyle, and David out on the ice. The faceoff was just outside Port A's zone. We made Tyler take the faceoff since Jasper and I were stronger and could out maneuver the PA players.

The puck dropped, Tyler got a clean take on it and slid it right to Jasper's stick and he in turn slid it back to David who gave us time to set up the play and take the puck into the zone. I got space between me and my defender and received a clean pass from David. I took it over the blue line, down the side and tried to cut into the middle, but got blocked.

So I flicked the puck blindly to Kyle who I hoped was behind me, when I glanced and saw him with the puck, I cut back to shake the PA guy and set up camp down low. Jasper and Tyler, and David were playing pass the puck, while Kyle hung back to offer support.

I kept moving from side to side, to keep the goalie off balance but also to try and to give a clear lane for a pass. I watched as Tyler faked a slap shot and one of the PA players bought it and went down to try and block it. Instead he threw a soft pass to Jasper who flung it at the goal. It was coming in at a weird angle so I set my stick down to redirect it. I saw it come toward my stick and I timed it just right to deflect it under the leg of the goalie.

The light behind the goal went off and the ref signaled the goal. I fist pumped as I got mauled by my team. I was smiling from ear to ear. That was perfect and I couldn't help but be a little psyched I did it in front of Bella.

The rest of the game we played tight and in control. We didn't give PA much room to move or time to set up plays. When the last few seconds ticked and the crowd counted down, you could feel the spirit leak from them. The horned blared, the band began the school song, and we celebrated a bit before we lined up to shake hands.

Back in the locker room as I was getting dressed, I looked to see I had a text from Bella.

**Great game babe. Will be waiting for you in parking lot.**

I sent her a quick one back.

**Will be out soon. XO**

I didn't care that it would make me look like a pussy sending the hug and kiss. She was my girl; I was riding high on a win, and getting the game winning goal. Life was fucking awesome! A short bit later and Jasper and I were making our way out the parking lot. We spotted our friends lounging by our cars. While Alice ran up to Jazz, Bella leaned up against my car with one hell of a sexy smirk

I scanned her body, noticing just how fucking fantastic she looked in my jersey. I had an urge to mark her permanently just to say she was taken. As I reached her, I let my bag slide down to the ground and she pulled me in by my jacket. Our eyes locked as we drew closer, that sexy smile never leaving her face.

"Great game," she murmured before our lips crashed together. I felt her lightly suck on my upper lip before her tongue swiped my lower one. I teased her tongue with mine before I parted my lips and tasted her fully. My arms wound around her, pulling her closer.

Catcalls behind us prevented the kiss from going much further. With both of our faces tinged with a blush, we pulled away, but not before a few quick chaste kisses.

"Save it for later you two," snickered Emmett. I felt Bella bury her face in my chest and chuckle. Before I could be tempted to start kissing her again, we piled into the cars and headed over to Rose and Jasper's place for a little post game party.

I drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other threated through Bella's where it rested on her thigh. She rested her head on the head rest and watched me, a soft lazy smile on her lips.

"What you thinking about?" I finally asked, curious to what she was thinking.

She shrugged. "Just about the game tonight. You did a great job … well all except that penalty. But otherwise it's a good start to the season." She hesitated for a bit before biting her lip. I swallowed a groan and focused on the road instead of her sexy lip bite.

"I was real proud of you." Her soft voice broke me from the lusty haze I was sinking into. Hearing she was proud made my entire body infuse with warmth. It also made me guilty for the stupid penalty that I took.

"Yeah, the penalty was stupid. I knew it was risky to try and draw one." I shrugged. "Coach wasn't too happy with me either." I gave her a lopsided grin.

She gave me a playful glare. "Good, he was right to be pissed." Her face softened. "You are so much better than that."

I vowed then to never give her a reason to look at me that way, like I let her down. Not only did I have scouts to play for, I had Bella as well. Thinking of the scouts made me wonder if she knew I was being scouted.

Just then we pulled up to the house where everyone else was waiting for us. Emmett smiled as I got out of the car. "There's tonight's hero," he crowed.

Bella bounded to my side with a wide smile. "Damn straight."

I followed Em and Jazz down to the game room while the girls got snacks. We were setting up the pool table when they came down loaded with chips, pretzels, and pop.

"Come on ladies, we're playing boys versus girls. We'll let you break, if you can," mocked Emmett. We looked to see three pairs of eyes narrowed in defiance. It didn't look pretty.

"You'll eat those words, Em," replied Rose before she walked to the table, lined up the cue, and made a clean break sinking a stripe as well as giving herself a perfectly lined up second shot. Em's eyes were wide and the girls were giggling.

We were so going to get schooled. And three games later were schooled and so much more. After the dart debacle at Bella's birthday party I had pretty much assumed that Bella wouldn't be into pool, I was wrong. She was almost as good as Rose.

"I'm done getting my ass handed to me," I stated. "Let's watch a movie or something." Everyone else agreed.

Minutes later, we were all coupled off in the darkened room. Bella's warm body was curled next to me as the opening credits of Transformers rolled. Her head rested on my shoulder and her hand rested on my chest. I wound my arms around her waist and kissed her head. I was having hard time believing that we were together. I never thought it would happen.

As the movie progressed I pondered how different this felt from being with Bree. With her it was almost like a status thing. She was a cheerleader and I was a hockey player. We hung out all the time and then progressed from there. That was why I was so hesitant with Bella. I was friends with Bree first, and well, look how that turned out.

But I was never as attracted to Bree as I was to Bella. Bree was pretty in her own way and she did let me into her pants, so maybe I lusted after more than being attracted to her. But with Bella, it was lust and attraction and a fierce need to be around her. Add into the mix a desire to protect her and I was swimming in emotions.

My mind delved toward life after high school and college. I knew Bella was smart and would have no trouble getting into college. Of course I gave thought to us going to the same one, but so much of that depended on scouts and who would offer me an athletic scholarship.

I was playing with her hair and staring into space as I thought not focusing on the movie, when I felt her warm breath on my face.

"What you thinking so hard about?" She pressed smooth the skin between my eyes.

"Did I ever tell you I'll be scouted this season?" I blurted out.

She smiled at me and a faint blush colored her cheeks. "No you didn't, but I already knew." She started to chew on her lip aggressively. I pulled it free and rubbed my thumb over it.

"You did? How?" I was a little surprised she knew.

"I overheard you talking to Jazz and Em about it at my party?" She said in a questioning tone. Her deep eyes were wide and I thought I saw fear in them.

"Why do you look nervous? It's cool that you know." I shrugged to show her that it was not a big deal that she knew. And it was cool that she knew. It saved me from having to tell her. But one look at her and I was worried.

She looked down and started to fidget with her hands. I had never seen her act this way and I was growing concerned. I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "What's wrong?" I whispered.

She took a shuddering breath. "I looked up some websites and found out what schools may scout you and I … I…"

She trailed off. Her face had worry and fear all over it. I had no idea what she was so scared of. I thought it was cool she looked that shit up. It proved that she really did like me as much as she told me.

"That's pretty cool you did that. Maybe you could help me narrow down my choices." Her eyes widened in surprise. I chuckled. "Isn't that something a girlfriend would help her boyfriend with?" I nudged her shoulder and she gave me a weak smile. "What's wrong, baby? You look scared?"

"W-would you be upset if you knew I also asked for applications to those schools?" I swore her lower lip began to tremble.

I could feel my brow furrow in confusion. Did she think that I would be upset that she went ahead and asked for applications? I wasn't upset, not at all. In fact I found it a kinda sweet. It showed me she was confident that we would be together.

I shook my head at her. "No, Bella. I'm not upset. Not at all." I hugged her close and I felt her entire body relax into mine. I rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. "I find it sweet," I whispered in her ear.

She raised her face and graced me with one of her killer smiles. I softly brushed my lips on hers showing her that all was good.

**BPOV**

_Madonna- Crazy For You_

_Trying hard to control my heart  
I walk over to where you are  
Eye to eye we need no words at all_

_Slowly now we begin to move_  
_Every breath I'm deeper into you_  
_Soon we two are standing still in time_  
_If you read my mind, you'll see_

_I'm crazy for you  
Touch me once and you'll know it's true  
I never wanted anyone like this  
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss  
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you_

"Oh come on refs! Are you fucking blind?" I was standing in my seat screaming at yet another bad call. It was the third game of the season and we were undefeated. But that game against Queets bordered on being ridiculous. We were barely hanging onto a one goal lead. But the way the refs were calling the game, they were trying hard to give Queets some extra scoring chances.

Edward looked tired as the coach was putting him out for extra shifts. Luckily the entire team was playing in top form giving extra support to our goalie that was all but standing on his head to make saves. We had to kill off yet another penalty for a shitty call and Edward was fuming. He was talking to the ref and gesturing wildly to the bench where our player had a bloody nose.

"Don't push it, baby," I muttered under my breath. If he kept pushing, he was going to get called for a bench minor putting us two men down. We didn't need that with less than ten minutes in the game. I breathed a sigh of relief when he skated off to the bench to talk to the coach.

I sat back down and slumped in my seat. Alice grabbed my hand.

"You need to chill out. There is a lot of season left and if you get all riled up every game you'll have a heart attack or get wrinkles." She crinkled her nose to show me her displeasure at such a thought.

I knew she was right, but watching the fuckery that was trying to pass as a hockey game was trying my patience. I sighed and slumped even more in my seat, my eyes watching the action closely. Edward came out for the second part of the penalty kill and I sensed his intensity. He wanted to get back to even strength so he could defend the lead.

When at last the kill was over, I saw him relax. He went back to the bench and he along with the coach were mapping out ways to defend. I sure as shit hoped they weren't going to play the neutral zone trap shit. It wasn't time to sit back; we needed to add an insurance goal. Or at least I needed them to in order for my heart to beat normally.

For the last six minutes of the game I was on my feet, eyes frantically going between the play on the ice and the clock. I was about to scream with frustration each time I saw hardly any time had passed. Why was time suddenly standing still? With each tick of the clock, Queets were getting nasty and aggressive. They were baiting not only us but hoping to get the refs to call another crappy penalty. Luckily for us, their players took too many fake dives and they were eventually called for diving. I screamed so loud in excitement Rose threatened to use a muzzle on me. I flipped her the bird and went back to heckling the Queets player.

For the penalty kill, Jasper, Edward, and Steve were our forwards. I wasn't as familiar with our D-men, I thought they were juniors. I concentrated on Edward and started muttering under my breath that all I wanted was a goal.

"Um, Bells, you haven't mastered the art of silent spells." I looked side-eyed at Rose who was smirking from ear to ear.

"Fuck off, bitch. That's my man down there preparing to do battle." I turned to give her a bitch brow. "And I don't remember mocking you as you muttered off football plays when Em was playing."

She knew I had her there. She was worse than me; she even danced and juked in her seat as Em moved on the field. When I heard no more from her, I faced the ice once more.

"Plus, he's got two scouts watching him tonight. I want him to do well."

"That's right. Jazz told me about it. Do you know which schools are here?" Questioned Alice as her eyes stayed glued to Jaspers form.

"Yeah, Wisconsin and a school in Minnesota, I can't remember which one." I knew that Edward was nervous as fuck when coach informed him they would be there. He was twitchy and anxious all day. Even offered to blow him in the janitors closet, but he turned it down.

I was going to pout when he told me that he was close to hurling and didn't want to do it on me if I was going down on him. So I told him if he played a good game, I'd blow him after the game. We were going to his house to do more research on the schools scouting him.

To say I was fucking relieved when he didn't get pissed when he found out about me knowing about the scouts and the applications I requested would be an understatement. But to hear him say he thought it was sweet and asked for my help, well, I was flabbergasted.

So the next day we compared lists, the schools I found out were scouting him, versus the requests his coach showed him. The lists were identical, which made me proud that all my hard work was worth it. He asked that we not worry about the scouts until the first one came. Seeing as they were here, we had decided to do some research on the schools.

Although he hadn't come right out and asked if I would go to whatever school he decided to play hockey for, I did put that idea in his head. As we sat discussing life after high school I made sure he knew that I was clueless as to what I wanted to do, that all I was looking forward to was leaving Forks and experiencing life. I also let him know that I wouldn't mind if we navigated the mind field that was college admissions together.

As the last seconds ticked before the final horn sounded I was a nervous wreck. The Queets goalie was pulled giving them an extra attacker. Our guys were holding up a pretty good defensive wall. I cringed when Edward slid down to block a shot. I knew he had padding, but those slap shots could leave some nasty bruises.

I heard other spectators counting down as I watched Edward block yet another shot. I heard the thud as the horn sounded and watched as Edward was slow to get up. He was rubbing the area just below his chest pads. My eyes prickled with tears as Jazz helped him up and skated with him to the hand shake line.

I whispered furtive prayers that he was alright and that he wasn't seriously hurt. I knew it was going to be at least forty-five minutes before he was going to be done in the locker room. So I walked slowly with the girls to the lobby area to wait. I jumped twenty minutes later when my phone buzzed with a text.

**I'm ok. It just a little tender spot. Don't worry. E**

I breathed a sigh of relief as my fingers flew over the keys to respond.

**Happy to hear that. I'll kiss it and make it better. xo B**

Less than thirty seconds later I got his reply.

**I'm holding you to that. *wink* E**

I chuckled. He was going to be just fine.

An hour later found us up in his room. I felt weird being up here, even if his parents were gone at some hospital function. Edward's parents were so relaxed when it came to stuff like me being in his room. Charlie was the exact opposite. He met Edward officially as the boyfriend and because of that Edward had only seen my living room.

So there we were, looking up Wisconsin and St. Cloud State, which was the name of the other school that scouted him that night. We both found programs we liked at Wisconsin, although it seemed like Wisconsin would be boring. That was until we looked up St. Cloud, now that school was in the middle of nowhere.

We were laughing so hard about St. Cloud that I accidently bumped his stomach and Edward hissed in pain.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry, Edward. Let me see it." I went to pull up his shirt.

"It's okay, Bella. Just a little sore. In a day or two, it will be fine. I'm used to it." I ignored his protests. While he may be used to it, I wasn't.

Carefully I pushed up his shirt to find an angry looking red mark the size of my fist. I could see the faint beginnings of a bruise. Ever so gently, I lowered my lips to the mark and kissed it. I placed small soft kisses all around it.

Above me, Edward moaned and shifted. Hearing that I could get a reaction out of him was empowering. It also helped that I could see his dick getting harder in his pants. I continued to place kisses all over his belly and chest while one hand worked to undo the button on his pants and lower his fly. When my hand made contact with his warm silken flesh, Edward hissed again, although that time in pleasure.

"Fuck, your hand feels so good Bella." He lifted his hips as I worked to get his pants and boxers around his knees. I didn't bother to take them all the way off because I was distracted by his cock. It was thick and hard and my mouth watered.

I knew I should be slow and seductive, but the sight of his twitching cock made me want to taste it right then and there. So that was what I did. I gripped it and swallowed it down in one motion.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bella." His hands fisted in the blanket beneath us as I continued to pump his dick with one hand and suck and slurp with my mouth. I looked up at Edward to see he had his eyes closed tightly, his head thrown slightly back and his back arched. He looked fucking sexy as hell.

I varied my speed and tempo, soft and slow with hard and deep sucks; my free hand was cupping and rolling his balls. I laved my tongue all over the head and tip of his cock, dipping into the slit to taste the pure essence that was Edward.

His groans were music to my ears as well as his pleadings of "More, harder, yes." It was sexy as hell. I could sense he was close, but I knew what would send him over the edge. So silently I pried his hands from the blankets and placed them on my head, wordlessly asking him to fuck my mouth.

"Aww, shit. Are you serious, Bella?" he gritted out between clenched teeth. I hummed in approval and his moan made my body tingle.

"Fuck, I don't think I can be gentle," he warned. In response I pushed his hands down on my head.

"Motherfuck," he cursed before his hips began thrusting fast and furiously all while his hands held my head in a vice grip. His cock pumped hard and I did my best to hold my throat open. I could tell by the erratic way he was moving that he wasn't going to last long.

So I began humming and flicking my tongue all over his dick. Edward's muttered curses and the way his grip tightened in my hair told me how very close he was. So when I lightly grazed my teeth along his cock and I felt him swell, I knew I had him.

"Coming," he shouted as his hips jerked wildly and my mouth filled with his jizz in three large spurts. I swallowed fast to avoid having to taste it and slowly licked his cock clean after the jerking stopped. I pulled my mouth off with a pop and looked to see a completely blissed out Edward.

"How's your boo-boo now baby?" I asked with a smile.

"Fan-fucking-tastic," he answered with a sigh.

**A/N: Ahh Bella... a blow job will cure any man's boo-boo's! *giggles* There was a lot of hockey in here, I hope you enjoyed it! Just an FYI- there will be lots of time jumps.. to help me move the story along. Now.. I'm anxious to hear your thoughts and feelings... I love reading them! Until next week! *mwah***


	20. Future Plans and Christmas Dreams

**A/N: Can I just say that you guys rock!? Cuz you do! Thanks to everyone who alerted and faved.. it makes me all smiley! Most of you are in love with hockeyward and his obsessella... can't say I blame you! They are kinda cute!**

**My love to my team of fuck awesome ladies: Itlnbrt- my superb beta, as well as fanfichardcore, JoJo757 & CullensTwiMistress who pre-read for me! THANKS!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just hockeyward and a ticket to see BD2! ENJOY!**

Future Dreams and Christmas Wishes

**BPOV**

_Lady Antebellum- Just a Kiss_

_I know that if we give this a little time  
It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find  
It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right_

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
_Just a touch of the fire burning so bright_  
_No I don't want to mess this thing up_  
_I don't want to push too far_  
_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_  
_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_  
_So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight_

"We have a solid team with several returning players, and a coaching staff that are committed to winning. We think that with your skills and passion for the game, you would fit in well with the UMD Bulldog family." The scout from UMD eyed Edward and his parents, giving them a carefully crafted smile.

He was the sixth scout that had come in to see Edward and his parents. They were full on wining and dining him. I thought it was totally cool that Edward always invited me to join them. I had come clean, and let him know I was willing to go wherever he went. Edward was worried that I was neglecting my own dreams to follow him. It was sweet how concerned he was for my dreams and me.

After a rather lengthy discussion, he understood for the time being I was clueless about my dreams. I had no idea what my ambition in life was and to me college was going to be time for me to find myself. It was only when I promised him I wouldn't lose sight of my own life and wants that he felt better about everything.

"What about scholarship opportunities? How many do you have for incoming players?" asked Edward.

Benjamin turned to Edward. "We are prepared to give you a full scholarship to UMD." Edward just smiled and nodded. It was the same answer he had heard before. It was a testimony to how bad these schools wanted him.

"That's all good and well, Mr. Marshall, however, we believe," Esme gestured to herself and Carlisle, "that there is more to life than hockey and we would like Edward to receive a quality education as well."

I snickered internally, as this was the same question she asked every scout that visited. But that scout was better prepared than the others. He brought with him an admissions counselor to highlight their academics.

I tuned them out as they were talking. I honestly could care less where we ended up. I was truthful when I said I had no clue what I wanted to do. I thought at first I'd take the generic teaching route, but I just didn't feel excited over that idea. Getting a degree in English sounded as much fun as getting a tooth pulled. So I figured I would sweat the details once I knew where I was going.

As Benjamin and the other dude wrapped up their spiel, I glanced over at Edward whose face had gone all glassy-eyed from the admission's dude monotone speech. I had to smother a giggle when he rolled his eyes and made a "dead face", complete with tongue hanging out. I slapped his thigh as they stood up to shake hands.

"Thank you for inviting us into your home, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. We appreciate it." They shook hands with his parents and then they turned to face Edward. "It was nice to meet you, Edward. We enjoyed watching you play last night. You're a great player and we hope you choose to join our team."

Edward took their proffered hands. "It was nice meeting you as well. Thank you for taking the time to see me play and visit with me."

I smiled at him. Even when he's bored out of his mind, he was still so polite and it made him look sexy as hell.

"We look forward to your decision," they replied to him before Esme escorted them out the door. I helped Carlisle gather the cups and plates that held the cake they were served. Edward carried the coffee carafe and the cake platter back into the kitchen.

"So, what did you think of this one, Edward?" asked his dad as we placed everything in the dishwasher. Edward leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. I had to remind myself that his parents were present and molesting him was not a viable option in that moment.

"I like the fact that the team isn't in re-building phase. They won the National Championship two years ago they have some talented players. But I worry that when they are set to play the harder teams, they may crumble."

Hearing him talk hockey was making me tingle. He always did his research on the team before meeting the scouts. He wanted to play for a high caliber team, and he showed his dedication by understanding each team that was scouting him.

Carlisle nodded at Edward's concise wrap-up. "However, can you truly say that there is a consistent powerhouse in college hockey?" As always, Carlisle was good at getting Edward to look at every angle.

"No, there isn't a true powerhouse, unless you count BC, BU, and Maine. But even they're not guaranteed to win. They're just most likely going to be in the running and that's what I want. To play for a team that has the ability to be a contender."

"But those schools aren't coming after you. So, out of the ones that are, which one do you like?"

Edward eyed his dad speculatively and then shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't looked into them all. I do know I don't want Wisconsin; they are too middle of the road. The smaller Minnesota schools are out as well for the same reason."

He turned toward me. "What are your thoughts? Anything jump out at you?" The fact that he sought out my thoughts made me feel all warm and squishy.

But I had no idea what to really say, so I went with honesty. "Not really. From what I know of the teams, UMD, North Dakota, and Minnesota seem to have the best possibility of being contenders. Who do you have left to meet with?"

"Um, Denver and Nebraska-Omaha are the only ones who have yet to come see me play out of the ones who requested to see me."

"So, maybe, we just wait until the last of the teams come and visit, if they do. In the meantime, make your list up of what schools are out for sure and which ones are straddling the fence," suggested his dad.

It made sense to me and Edward appeared to agree as he was nodding his head.

Carlisle clapped Edward on the shoulder. "Now, I think it's time you brought Bella back home. It's a school night and I told Charlie she wasn't going to be out long."

Edward rolled his eyes, but agreed. "Okay, we're going. Be back in a bit."

Edward twined our hands together and pulled me toward the front door. I turned back to wave bye to his parents.

"Thanks for letting me come over. The food was delicious, Esme."

They waved back and Esme walked with us. At the door, she pulled me in close. "It was our pleasure to have you here."

It took me a while to get used to Esme's huggy nature. I wasn't used to parentals being overly affectionate. But a few of her gentle, warm hugs and I melted. She always smelled good and felt safe.

"Bye," I called out as we walked through the door and out to his car.

Once in the car Edward let out a huge sigh and slumped in his seat. I knew that he felt the weight of the choice before him. There was so much that was riding on this one decision. Or at least in Edward's mind there was. I think sometimes he got hung up on the what-ifs and making the wrong choice that it started to overwhelm him.

I reached over and gently scratched his head. I knew he loved the feel of my hands in his hair. Of course he preferred it was while naked and he was pounding into me. But, I knew it calmed him. He nuzzled into the feel of my nails raking his scalp. A low hum vibrated in his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered not wanting to disrupt the serenity of the moment.

"Anytime, baby. You just need to chill. I know you feel anxious and worried. But all you can control is right now. Not what happens tomorrow or two weeks from now." I kept my voice soft.

"Yeah, but-" he interrupted before I placed my other hand on his lips.

"There are no 'yeah buts', Edward. You will pick the school that you want based off hockey and education. The rest of your life will take care of itself."

I pulled him by the hair so our foreheads were touching. I felt his warm breath fan over my face, surrounding me with his essence. Even after being together for a few weeks, I was still stunned by his very presence. It intoxicated me.

For just a moment we sat there still, silent, and breathing each other in. His eyes were closed, but his body still held tension. I cupped his face, rubbing my thumbs over his cheeks, rubbing soft circles on his neck with the pads of my fingers. Slowly, I felt him melt into my touch.

"How do you know just the right things to say and do to make me feel better?" His voice held wonder and amazement. He brushed a soft kiss across my lips.

My brain went fuzzy with the touch of his lips and I have to scramble to remember what he said. When I can't come up with it, I pull him closer and deepened the kiss. The taste of him on my tongue made my body tremble with desire. I had to restrain myself from ripping off our clothes a riding him into next week.

Unfortunately, a loud rap on the door scared the shit out of the both of us. We jumped apart and I gave a started yelp, while Edward let out a loud curse.

"Take her home son," commanded Carlisle who was standing outside the car, trying to hide his smirk.

I shrank back into my seat, embarrassed as all get out that his dad caught us in a heated lip-lock. I used my long hair to shield me from further embarrassment.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going old man," quipped Edward as he started the car and smoothly pulled out of the drive.

"Oh my fucking gosh, that was just too fucking embarrassing. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at your dad ever again. Hell, I may not be able to step foot into your house." I buried my face into my hands while Edward ran his hands up and down my thigh. Even with jeans on, I could still feel the heat of his touch.

"Bella, it's okay. Isn't it a rite of passage for kids to get caught?" I heard the amusement in his tone, but I was far from feeling it myself.

"Doesn't mean I want to experience it! It was horrifying," I cried.

His bemused chuckle did nothing to soothe my frazzled nerves. But the feel of his hand threaded through mine did help.

"Babe, we were just kissing. He's not going to be mad and he's not going to say anything. Just be glad he didn't catch me as I was eating you out!" He gave me a saucy smirk and winked.

I couldn't help but laugh at him. Just like that, the embarrassment was gone and I was calm.

The next day I woke up to dreary skies and a stack of mail that Charlie was adamant that I work through.

"I don't wanna do it," I whined as I munched on toast slathered in peanut butter. I even pouted my lips and gave him my best puppy dog eyes. His response was to give me his best cop glare and salute me with his mug of coffee. I wanted to give him a salute of my own but that would only serve to get me grounded. There was no was way I was going to let that happen, I had plans with the girls later. If I were lucky I would also get to see Edward.

He was with the boys, at Em's house helping his dad fix the roof. Earlier in the week, a big wind storm hit and a few heavy branches fell on their roof causing damage. They were trying to get all the repairs done before the real cold weather started.

For me, my plans consisted of working on the stack of applications I had ignored and hanging with the girls. Since the six of us became a trio of couples, a few "rules" were instituted. The first being that there were girls only days, which meant the boys held their own guys day. We also held a few group date nights. We tried to balance it out, but it wasn't easy for me. I think it was because of Edward and I that the new "rules" were put into place at all.

Fucking party poopers.

"Staring at them won't get them done," joked Charlie.

I glared at him and he had the gall to laugh.

"I'm not the one who requested applications to a dozen schools." He looked at me pointedly and I rolled my eyes in response.

To say that Charlie was pleased about all the out of state schools would have been an understatement. He was a little perturbed and concerned. He had an old fashioned sit down with me about college and why I was looking outside of Washington. I tried to bluff and say I was just looking at all the options. But I should have known better than to pull the wool over Charlie.

His cop instincts kicked in and fixed me with that glare that told me my goose was cooked. I, being the stubborn teen girl, refused to budge and veer from my story. That was until he said that the schools I was looking at were the same schools scouting Edward.

My slack-jawed expression told him that I was caught. Then he had the nerve to roll his eyes at me and chuckle. I questioned him as to how he could even know and his chuckles turned into full-bellied laughs. I wasn't seeing what was so fucking funny. Even when he told me that Edward getting scouted was big news and it was all over the sports section of the Forks Herald did I find it funny.

So to make Charlie happy I had to also apply to Udub and had to promise him that I wasn't following Edward around and forgetting about my own dreams and goals. He was impressed when he discovered that Edward made me promise him the same thing.

With Charlie's eyes still on me, I reached for the first envelope, torn it open and began the arduous task of filling out identifying information. I knew it was going to be a mind-numbing process and one that sucked big hairy donkey balls. Satisfied that I was working on the pile, he went outside to work on the yard.

A few hours later, my hand and back was cramped and if I had to write Isabella Marie Swan one more time I was going to scream. I completed applications to Udub, two Minnesota schools, Denver, and Wisconsin. I still had ones for Colorado College, Nebraska, and North Dakota. I wouldn't send them in until Edward narrowed down his list.

I fixed lunch for Charlie and as I texted Rose about our plans for later on.

_We still on for later bitch?_

Less than a minute later, my phone chimed.

_Hell yes! Girlie spa day, no backing out. You got a guy to look good for now. ;)_

I would have put up a huge fuss, but she was right. Edward loved the feel of my skin. I could only imagine how he'd react to me totally pampered.

_*sigh* I guess! ;) I'll be over in a bit._

I giggled when I read Rose's response.

_Whatever, you don't fool me. UR thinking of sexy times with E._

I was busted, but I would never tell Rose. I didn't reply and instead called Charlie in to eat. I showed him what I had managed to accomplish and felt a moment of pride at his astonished surprise that I did so much.

"Where you headed for the rest of the day?" he asked as he cleared the table of the dishes.

"We are doing a spa day at Rose's. It may turn into a sleep over, but I'll let you know for sure later on."

He nodded. "Sounds good. Have fun with the spa stuff." I laughed at his words because he face showed how unpleasant he found the idea of "spa stuff."

"See you later, Dad." I ran upstairs to get the new nail polish I wanted to use as well as ratty clothes for the facials and hair dye. Alice had talked me into putting highlights into my hair. I threatened her with bodily harm if it turned out like shit.

Less than twenty minutes later, I pulled up to her house. Alice was already there. She was in the doorway, bouncing excitedly.

"Now that I'm here, the party can get started." I hip checked Alice out of the way, as I walked through the door. She retaliated by jumping on my back. Good thing she was freakishly lightweight. I carried her down stairs to where we were spread out all over the basement.

The rest of the day was spent in total pampered bliss. Alice was surprisingly good at giving a pedicure and the highlights turned out fantastic. Rose did my fingernails in the sparkly purple polish I bought. The color looked kinda childish, but I really loved the purple. I rounded things out by giving my girls killer back rubs. I had taken a class with Renee and gotten real good at giving massages.

When we were done, talk turned to Christmas break which was starting end of next week. I sobered immediately, knowing that for most of it, I was going to be alone. Edward had to go to Chicago to be with family there.

"I want to do a Christmas party for the six of us," stated Rose excitedly. "What do you ladies think?"

Alice's eyes lit up and I could practically see the ideas floating in her head. I counted in my head the seconds until Alice would mention dressing up.

"Ohh that would be so much fun. We could make it real classy and dress up." I chuckled inwardly at how predictable she was.

Rose nodded her head vigorously. She grabbed a pad of paper and started scribbling like mad. They started throwing ideas back and forth, while my heart sunk lower and lower. I hated the fact that I wouldn't be able to join them. With Edward gone, I wasn't going to be the fifth wheel. That was not my idea of fun.

"Why so quiet B? Don't you want to chime in with some ideas?" Alice's voice broke me from my depressing thoughts.

My face scrunched up in regret. "Not really." I shrugged half-heartedly. I curled into a ball.

"Why?" asked Rose.

"Cuz I really don't want to be the fifth wheel. Edward's going to Chicago." Even I heard how miserable I sounded.

Alice and Rose sat next to me. "Are you sure he'll be gone for _all _of break?"

I looked over at Alice. "Umm, no I don't know. He just mentioned that's where they'll go for Christmas. I just assumed it was for all of break."

Rose gave an exasperated sigh. "You know what happens when you assume, right?" I flipped her off. She nudged me before handing me my phone. "Why don't you make sure you know what's really going on."

"If it will make you feel better … sure." I began typing out a text to Edward, so sure that nothing good would come out of it.

Less than three minutes later, I stared at his reply, shocked.

_We fly out on the 23__rd__ and return on the 27__th__. Why you ask?_

Rose turned my hand so she could see his reply, when I looked up at her; she had a smug smile on her face.

"See, he's not going to be gone the whole time." She opened the calendar app on my phone and chewed on her lip. "We get out of school on the twenty-first, so we could do it the next day or the day after Edward comes back. What do you think?"

I took my phone back and in one glance knew what day would be perfect.

"Let's do it on the twenty-eighth." I could feel the wicked smile on my face.

"What are you planning, Bella?" asked Alice.

"We can have it at my house, I can cook. Plus, Charlie has to work that night, so we will have the place to ourselves." I waggled my brows and both girls giggled.

"I love how you think, Swan," said Rose. She picked up the pad she was writing on earlier and we began to plan the mother of all of parties.

**EPOV**

_Rascal Flatts- I'll Be Home for Christmas_

_I'm dreamin' tonight  
Of a place I love  
Even more than I usually do  
(Usually do)  
And although I know  
It's a long road back  
I Promise You_

_I'll be home for Christmas_  
_You can count on me_  
_Please have snow and mistletoe_  
_And presents under the tree_

I closed my eyes as the plane began to climb higher and higher. I waited for my ears to pop before I stuck in my ear buds. I was tired. We had woken up at the ass crack of dawn to take an early morning flight out of Chicago.

It had been a busy couple of days. But it was always like that when we visited Chicago. Most of my mom's family still lived there, so there was an endless parade of relatives coming to see us. We always stayed with Nana and it was the same house mom grew up in. Christmas was a loud and crazy family affair with nearly thirty relatives. While the house wasn't small, it felt tiny with all those people crammed in there.

This year I seemed to be the focus of everyone's attention. I was constantly being pulled aside by someone who wanted to impart onto me their opinions on where I should play college hockey. Being as they all lived in the Midwest they had very strong opinions.

Almost all of them were against me playing for Wisconsin or Minnesota. Some were impressed I was being recruited by Denver and North Dakota, both who were consistent contenders. A few even asked if I would consider playing hockey for U of I. I had to be gracious when I declined.

After a while, it got to be too much for me and I escaped as much as I could to the basement. It was where the younger kids were hanging out. I only had two cousins around my age and the rest were younger. It was nice to just play a few mindless video games when the adults got too intense.

It also didn't help that I was missing Bella. We talked every night and texted throughout the day, but it just wasn't the same. So to say I was looking forward to the party tomorrow was an understatement. I couldn't wait for her to open my gifts. I was sure it was going to blow her mind.

With the hum of the airplane in the background and soothing jazz in my ear, I quickly fell asleep, dreaming of Bella.

Nearly four hours later, my dad was shaking me awake.

"We are getting ready to land, Edward." I rubbed my eyes and stretched in the small confined space. I moved my seat upright and stowed my ear buds in my backpack. I knew I still had a three-hour drive back to Forks, but I could care less. I was home and one step closer to Bella.

The entire drive home I spent texting Bella. We talked about the party and teased about our gifts for each other, trying to get the other to spill the surprise. She told me a about how her and Charlie spent their Christmas. It sounded kinda quiet and unassuming. She was surprised to get a new laptop from Charlie, while her mom and Phil gave her a pre-paid Visa card. I laughed when she told me that Alice already had plans on how she wanted to spend it.

I was looking forward to the little Christmas party the girls were putting together. From the texts I had gotten from Jazz and Em while I was in Chicago, it was all the girls were working on. Like me, they weren't thrilled with having to dress up. I was pleased that everyone was able to talk Alice out of the idea of us in tuxes. There was no way I wanted to do that. The suit and tie was bad enough.

The only consolation was the idea that Bella was going to be dressed up and that was a sight I was more than willing to look at. I had no doubt she was going to look stunning. Unfortunately, I had no idea what she would be wearing. It was one surprise, which I was eagerly looking forward to.

Once home I unpacked, gave mom my dirty clothes, and fell asleep. I woke several hours later to the smell of ham and cheesy potatoes. My stomach grumbled loudly as I stumbled down the stairs. I forgot that we were having our own little family Christmas tonight. We didn't see a reason to drag our gifts to each other to Chicago.

I stuffed my face of mom's great cooking before I sat with my parents as we opened presents. Dad spoiled mom with jewelry. Mom gave dad a new watch, which was strapped on right away. Like the only child I was, I was spoiled. Clothes, CD's, movies, and a new laptop, which they said it was to be used for college. But the best gift was a personalized and autographed picture of Marion Hossa with the Stanley Cup. It was framed and came with a Certificate of Authenticity. It was the coolest thing I had ever seen.

The next evening I found myself in front of the mirror in my bathroom trying to tame my hair. It was long and even more unruly than normal. A glance at the clock confirmed I didn't have time to get it cut and there was no way I was asking my mom to cut it. The last time she did, I had to wear a hat until it grew out.

Instead, I just ran a hand through it and promised myself to get it cut tomorrow. I splashed on the cologne that Bella liked and buttoned my shirt before I started tying my tie. It was royal blue and black and the only hint as to the color of Bella's dress. Alice dropped it off this morning on her way over to Bella's.

When Em and Jazz finally arrived at my house looking as uncomfortable in their suits as I felt, we drove over together. The two presents that I had for Bella held securely on my lap. My foot was bouncing with stored up energy and desire. I hadn't seen Bella in close to five days, which also meant I hadn't touched or kissed her just as long. That was fucking unacceptable. I wasn't sure how I was going to keep my hands PG when all I wanted was to get X-rated with her. Knowing my luck, Alice would be the perfect cock blocker all night.

I was stunned as we pulled up to Bella's house. On the outside, there were twinkling lights on the windows and icicle lights hanging from the roof. The door was framed with garland that gave off a nice pine scent. But it was what we were greeted with as we walked in the door that stunned me.

The living room was filled with twinkling fairy lights, candles emitting a soft, warm glow, and the sexiest women to ever live. The three of them stood shoulder to shoulder dressed to the nines and looking fucking gorgeous. We couldn't move as we drank in the sight of them.

Alice was dressed in a simple flowing purple dress with a black sash and killer heels. On one side of her was Rose looking like she was going to eat Em alive in a red dress with black lace. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Em as he tried to discreetly adjust himself. While I could admit how beautiful Alice and Rose looked, it was Bella that took my breath away.

Her hair was pulled back into a sleek twist high on her head; my eyes traced the slopes of her neck to see she was wearing the choker from the summer. Her slender shoulders were naked and continued downward to see a strapless blue dress that hugged her tits. A wide black sash was tied under them, emphasizing them before the rest flowed out with a black lace overlay.

Without realizing it, my feet took me to Bella and I swept her into my arms. "Beautiful," I murmured before I captured her lips in a searing kiss. I felt her hands as they slid into my hair and pulled me closer. Our tongues delved deep, tasting and teasing. Her body molded to mine and my hands trailed up her arms to her neck where I held her to me.

"That's enough you two!" Alice's too chipper voice broke through the spell of the kiss. I pulled away panting and threw Alice a scathing look.

She rolled her eyes at me. "I know you haven't seen each other in a while, but for the next few hours you need to cool your hormones." I heard Em and Jazz snicker and Bella buried her head into my chest.

I looked down at Bella to see her face colored with a delectable blush and wondered how in the hell I was going to keep my hands off her for the next several hours. I bent down to brush her lips softly one last time before I looked at Alice.

"Fine, but I'm not going to like it." Everyone laughed, including Bella. As we followed everyone into the kitchen, Bella pulled me down to whisper in my ear.

"I'll make it worth the wait, baby." She flicked my ear with the tip of her tongue and I couldn't help but groan.

The girls had outdone themselves with a delicious dinner of lemon pepper chicken, candied sweet potatoes, glazed carrots, and warm dinner rolls. They made a huge amount of food, but the boys and I were able to eat every last bite. We retired to the living room, where we preceded with exchanging gifts. Bella and I gave the other couples matching engraved frames. Bella had taken candid shots of them and put them into the frames. The girls loved it and I was surprised how much Em and Jasper liked them as well.

Bella and I received a gift certificate to take a dinner cruise out of Port Angeles and tickets to a dinner theater show in Seattle. When it was my turn to give Bella her gifts, I suddenly grew nervous. I began to worry that she wouldn't like them. But with everyone's eyes on me, I had no choice to give them to her. As she took them from my hand, I hoped she didn't see how badly my hand shook.

I watched as she carefully unwrapped the first small box. I held my breath as she opened it up to see the small swan necklace. It was the same one I picked up all those months ago at the Fall Fest. I heard her gasp, but was still too chicken to look at her face to see if it's a good or bad sound.

"Edward," she breathed and I couldn't help but look. Her fingers were tracing it gently while her lower lip trembled slightly. "How did you know?" she asked as she looked at me with slightly watery eyes.

"I saw you look at it. When you moved on, I bought it." I looked down, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"You've held onto it all this time?" she asked. I could only nod my head. "I love it. Thank you." She pulled me closer and chastely kissed my lips.

"You really like it?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Yes. Help me put it on?" She handed me the necklace. When it was on, she turned to face me with a brilliant smile. "I really love it." Her smile was so bright, I couldn't help but be affected. I gestured to the other box.

"You got one more." I laughed as she ripped off the paper and opened the long rectangular box.

When she opened it up, one of her hands flew to her mouth. "Oh, Edward it's beautiful."

"What is it, Bella?" asked Rose who was craning her head to get a glimpse.

With a very noticeable shaky hand, she lifted up the silver charm bracelet that already held a few charms.

"Ohh that is so pretty, Bella," exclaimed Alice.

Bella held the bracelet between us as I explained the meaning of the charms.

"There is the skate for me, a swan for you, heart for us and umm …" I trailed off and pulled her closer. "The lock is for, well-"

"The locker room?" she whispered. I chuckled and kissed her lips. When I pulled away, she was blushing and smirking.

While the girls gushed over the jewelry I got for Bella, I noticed that Jasper and Em left the room to go upstairs. I was about to go after them when Bella pulled me off the couch and directed me to face the steps leading up to the second level.

"I need you to close your eyes, Edward. Please don't peek or open them till I say. Okay?" There was such excitement on her face that I didn't have the heart to put up a fuss. So I closed my eyes and I felt her hands covering them up.

"Don't trust me, Bella? I'm wounded."

She giggled. "Just insurance, that's all."

I heard someone on the steps and then stop right in front of me. There was some furious whispering and shuffling around before Bella removed her hand and told me to open my eyes.

When I did, there was Em and Jazz holding a huge framed picture of the Chicago Blackhawks right after they won the 2011 Stanley Cup.

"Merry Christmas, Edward," whispered Bella as she gestured to the picture.

I stepped closer and that's when I noticed all the black scribbles on the picture. Further inspection had me staring with my mouth wide open.

"Is… is that … what I think it is?" I asked Bella, never taking my eyes off it.

"Yes," was all she said.

"All of them?"

"Every single one of them."

"Holy fuck!" I exclaimed as I looked at my picture that was autographed by every member of the championship team. I had the best fucking girlfriend in the world.

**A/N: Aww.. Chritmas time and it looks like both did well! Just an interesting side note.. the scout at the begining for UMD- that is where I went to school- University of Minnesota- Duluth... GO BULLDOGS! WOOP!**

**Someone asked me last week how many more chapters are left... if we dont count this one.. there are 10 more planned.. however... that is if I dont become a wordy hoor and have to break some shit up. I'll keep you informed.. especially if we are nearing the end. **

**Please leave me some love.. I can't wait to see what you thought of the chapter. See you next week! *mwah***


	21. I'll Stand By You

**A/N: *sigh* Hey all! I want to say a quick HOWDY to all the new readers who have alerted and faved Hockeyward and Obsessella! It makes my heart happy!**

**Love like always goes to my beta Itlanbrt who makes time out of her CRAZY, CRAZY life to edit this story! Also love for my fabu team of pre-readers: JoJo757, fanfichardcore and CullensTwiMistress. I love all you ladies hardcore! *mwah***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.. just Edward on hockey skates! *WARNING! SHAM PANTIES NEEDED!* ENJOY!**

I'll Stand By You

**EPOV**

_The Pretenders- I'll Stand By You_

_When you're standing at the crossroads  
And don't know which path to choose  
Let me come along  
'cause even if you're wrong_

_I'll stand by you_  
_I'll stand by you_  
_Won't let nobody hurt you_  
_I'll stand by you_  
_Take me in, into your darkest hour_  
_And I'll never desert you_  
_I'll stand by you_

One would think after the holidays, life would settle down. That couldn't have been furthest from the truth. In early January, I was bombarded by scouts. Not only those in the WCHA, but a lot of little podunk schools that I had to fucking Google to know where they were. Luckily, I didn't have to meet with them if I didn't want to, and for many of them, I didn't want to.

By the end of January, I had my list of schools narrowed down to five: Colorado College, UMD, Minnesota, Denver, and North Dakota. So then Bella and I focused heavily into researching the academic side of things, checking out undergrad and graduate possibilities. We talked a lot about what we saw ourselves doing. We never came to any conclusions, except for those things we didn't want to do.

I wasn't going to follow my dad into medicine. Not only would it be extremely difficult to do a pre-med load and play hockey, but I wasn't interested in being a doctor. Bella knew she didn't want to teach or get into the touchy feeling professions like social work or counseling. I was focusing my research on computer degrees. I had always been a whiz on the computer and I taught myself how to do computer graphics as well.

As time wore on, and Bella still hadn't decided what she at least wanted to narrow her focus to, she grew more frustrated. In fact, there was one night where her irritable mood was reaching epic proportions and I knew I had to intervene.

We were at her house, Charlie was working a night shift and we had the place to ourselves. She was looking once more at the Colorado College website and with each click on the mouse, she became increasingly perturbed.

There were small creases on her forehead and her mouth was twisted into a nasty scowl. Carefully, I approached her, afraid to startle her and end up on the receiving end of her wrath. I slid up behind her and gently placed my hands on her neck, slowly kneading the tense muscles. I said nothing but continued to massage her neck and shoulders until eventually, I felt her relax.

The death grip on the mouse slackened, she sat up straighter, and she started to make these low humming noises in her throat. She tipped her head back, eyes closed, and started breathing nice and easy. There was even a hint of a smile curling her lips. I gave myself an internal high five.

"Feels so good, Edward. Thank you," she moaned out. My cock instantly hardened at her noises.

"It's all part of the Edward Cullen boyfriend package." I bent down and placed chaste kisses from her shoulder to that sensitive spot behind her ears. I was rewarded with her arching her neck and a soft groan.

"What else is part of this boyfriend package?" she hissed out as I traced the shell of her ear before I bit down on the lobe.

"Guaranteed relaxation or I keep trying," I whispered huskily into her ear.

"Fuck yes, please Edward," she begged as she squirmed in her seat.

I threaded my hand through her hair and pulled it back tilting her head to look at me. Her eyes bored into mine, desire making them darken. I brushed my lips over hers softly, she whimpered and shifted restlessly on the chair.

"As you wish," I breathed into her mouth. Within seconds I had her in her room, on the bed, and her clothes off.

Her chest heaved and with her legs splayed open I could see how wet she was for me. It made me so fucking hard. But I reminded myself that this was for her, to help her relax and unwind. Ever so slowly I kissed down her body, licking and tasting her skin. I scraped my teeth across her collar bone, down to the swells of her breasts. I licked the tip of each nipple before I drew it deep into my mouth. Bella's back arched off the bed, pushing her tits deeper into my mouth.

My hands stroked her arms, sides, and back, keeping up a never ending cycle of light soft touches on her skin. I felt her body slowly release the tension it was holding. After I had paid sufficient homage to her tits, I kissed and licked my way down to her stomach and hips. There I made a torturously slow circuit between her hips bones, belly button, and just above her mound.

Bella writhed under my body. Her panting drove me wild and made my cock throb painfully against my zipper. Her hands clutched at my shirt, pulling me closer, and begging for more.

"Please, Edward." Her head thrashed from side to side. She bucked her hips and pushed down on my head trying to get me get me where she wanted me to go.

I smiled against her thighs as I licked and sucked on her creamy skin. I ghosted my breath over her pussy, watching as it clenched and pulsed. Her clit was hard, erect, and begging to be sucked. Ever so gently with just the tip of my tongue, I licked her slit.

"Fuck, Edward." She spread her legs even wider, opening up her pink pussy for feasting.

I looked up at her, she was staring down at me with bright, lust filled eyes, pleading with me to give her what she wanted. I flicked her clit and watched as her eyes rolled back.

"Is that what you want, baby?" I smirked as she nodded, her panting preventing her from speaking.

"As you wish," I whispered against her moist center. Then I dived into her pussy with vigor. I teased her puffy lips with small nibbles and long licks. My tongue delved straight to the source of her juices, sucking them right out of her.

I wrapped my lips around her clit, sucking on it, listening to Bella go wild above me. I loved the noises she made during sex, they always turned me on. Her hands were threaded through my hair as she grinded on my face. She was pleading with me to let her come.

I couldn't help but chuckle when I backed off and she whined. But once I slowly sunk my finger deep inside her pussy, she hissed out in pleasure. With my lips and teeth I went back to attacking her clit and anywhere else I could reach. I felt her pussy as it started to flutter around my finger. I curled it upward and began to stroke rhythmically on the inside as I sucked hard on her clit.

"Yes, yes … ohh fucking shit … I'm coming …" she wailed as she convulsed and clamped down on my finger. Her juices oozed out with each wave of her orgasm and I tried my best to lick it all up. When she was at least lying relaxed and sated, she pushed me away from her overly sensitive clit and I crawled back up her body.

I lay on my back and she snuggled up to my side, my arms automatically wrapped around her to hold her close. "Feeling better, baby?" I asked as I kissed her hair.

"Hmm, yeah," she replied sleepily. "Thank you, I needed that."

I chuckled. "My pleasure. Anytime you need a stress relief, I'm your man."

"I don't have to tell you how important the next twenty minutes are boys. We make it through them, and we will be one step closer to our goal. Keep your heads up, skate hard, and lastly, have fun."

Coach started to go over plays, but I zoned out trying to quell the sudden case of nerves I had acquired. We were in the division final. The loser went home and the winner went to the state championship. Our hockey team had never been to the state final, so we were poised to make history and being so close to it happening was making me nauseous.

We were playing Sequim and we were holding a two goal lead. To me that was the scariest lead to have in hockey. It made me twitchy and nervous. So when Coach gave us the five minute warning, it only made the butterflies in my stomach worse. Trying to alleviate the anxiety, I closed my eyes and visualized the ice, the defensive strategies, and offensive plays we could use. I continued to map plays out in my head up until it was time to head out onto the ice.

But once I got back out there, the energy from the crowd was electrifying, and my nerves calmed. Bella was out there wearing my jersey and with my number painted on her cheek. My parents and friends were out there, and I was going to give them a night they would never forget.

The first five minutes of the third period both teams played conservatively, feeling each other out, looking for weaknesses to exploit. But when time started to run out, Sequim started to get aggressive. They had to score twice to tie, but needed three to win. With each tick of the clock, they grew desperate.

Our defense played them tight and we kept a forward in the middle so they could easily help defend or join an offensive rush if we got one. Coach paired me with their star center, if he was out, I was out. He matched my speed but his stick handling sucked. That was why we were currently stuck in the corner battling it out for the puck.

I kept angling the puck away from him, trying to give my guys time to set up some sort of play, so we could try to add to our lead.

"Cullen, left side!" I heard Jasper yell out. Blindly I flipped the puck to my left side. I heard it make contact with a stick, so I whipped my head around to see that Jasper had the puck and was moving to the high circle. I pushed off from the boards and untangled myself from the Sequim player and set up camp in front of the net.

I watched as we moved the puck from side to side, eating up precious time that Sequim needed to win the game. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed one of their forwards was joining their defense, leaving me with a little extra wiggle room. I moved to the stick side of the goalie and yelled for the puck.

I watched as Jasper and Kyle did a tic-tac-toe style pass then flick it to me. I didn't have time to do anything fancy. When I heard the puck connect to my stick, I charged forward and flipped it up high on the goalie. He tried to raise his shoulder to block it, but only got a piece of it. It bounced off his pads, clanked the pipe and fell into the goal behind him.

The arena went nuts when the goal light went off and I was swarmed by my teammates. I looked up at the clock. We had just over five minutes to kill. It was going to be a fucking piece of cake. Sequim called a time-out to regroup. As I sat on the bench trying to catch my breath, coach was busy mapping out how we were going to keep Sequim from getting back into the game.

Five minutes later, the ice was littered with green and black as we celebrated our first ever conference title and berth into the Washington State Hockey Championship. The crowd was going wild and I could only imagine what Bella was doing in the stands. I had heard complaints from Alice and Rose several times that Bella could get rather "enthusiastic" in her cheering.

Coach's post game speech was rather short. He expressed his pride in us and reminded us all that we still had one game left to play. Jasper and I rushed through cleaning up only to be met with the sports reporters from the Forks Herald. We answered their questions and as soon as they released us, we bolted out the side exit doors.

There waiting for me, jumping up and down in her excitement was Bella. As soon as I was close to her, she ran to me. I barely had time to drop my bag before she jumped into my arms.

"So fucking proud of you!" she exclaimed as she peppered my faces with kisses.

I chuckled and then proceeded to kiss her soundly on the lips. Unfortunately, the kiss didn't last as long as we were suddenly surrounded by the rest of our friends. I received a fist bump from Em and hugs from the girls.

"Let's go celebrate," crowed Emmett. We agreed and took off for his place.

I was seated at the kitchen table, staring at the list of school before me. I needed to make a choice and it had to be in by noon the next day. Then later in the week all confirmed athletes signed their letters of intention. The school was making a big deal out of signing day. Not only was there me, but also there was Emmett, and two basketball players also singing letters of intent. It was the most ever in the history of Forks High.

Bella and I had debated and talked my list of five to death. Somehow in the process of it all, we had whittled the list down to three: Denver, UMD, and Minnesota. Each had their pros and cons when it came to where they were located. UMD was located in Duluth, Minnesota. From the pictures we looked at, it was a beautiful campus. It was also in the smallest city out of the three.

Denver and Minnesota were in larger cities, with Minnesota being their Twin Cities campus. Neither Bella nor I were real enthused that Denver was a private school with a religious leaning. But all three were tremendous college hockey schools. They all had kick-ass academic programs and graduate opportunities that appealed to us. So, Bella was leaving the choice to me.

I knew she had applied to all three so we were hopeful that there was a chance that she got into whichever school I picked. But I needed to pick one and that was why I was sitting in the semi-darkness racking my brain or hoping for a sign.

"Penny for your thoughts, Edward?"

"Jesus Christ!" I screamed out when I heard my mom's voice. I clutched my hand over my chest to keep my heart inside.

"Language," she admonished as she pulled up a chair across from me.

I gave her an eye roll. "Don't scare me like that, I wouldn't have cursed."

She smirked and gestured to the papers in front of me. "Still trying to figure out where you want to go?"

"Yeah," I sighed. I scrubbed my face in frustration. "I keep waiting for something to jump out and say 'pick me, pick me'. But nothing has." I slump forward, resting my chin on my folded hands on the table. "It's a huge decision for me and I worry I'll make the wrong one."

I closed my eyes at my confession, waiting for my mom to dispense some sage wisdom. But as the moments ticked by and she remained silent, I grew worried. When I cracked open one eye, she was looking out the window, deep in thought.

I shifted in my seat, hoping to remind her that I was still there. She turned to face me and her whole face was smiling. She reached across the table to grab one of my hands. Her fingers rubbed the back of my hand gently.

"I honestly believe, Edward that there is no wrong or right choice." I opened my mouth to protest and she squeezed my hand to silence me. "I'm fully aware that the right college could open doors to a possible NHL career. But I'm a bigger believer in that wherever your destiny lies, you will fulfill it. Maybe choosing one college will take you longer to reach that destiny than another, but you will get there." She fixed me with a steely, but loving gaze. "I have faith in you, Edward. Great things await you. Trust your instincts; they have yet to lead you astray."

She gave my hand another firm squeeze before she rose from the table. She walked over to kiss me on my forehead and then quietly padded up the stairs.

I let her words sink in, digging down deep to see what my gut was telling me would be the best choice for me. When I opened my eyes and looked down at the sheets once more, the answer seemed so simple. I smiled as I picked up the sheet of my choice, and I felt good.

Less than a week later, I was waiting in the hallway to go into the gym. The entire school had piled into the bleachers to witness the four of us sign our letters of intent and learn what schools we had chosen.

"Dude, chill out. Ya know everyone will have their eyes on me." Em smiled at me and his lame attempt at humor eased the anxiety I was feeling.

"They're only going to be looking at you because you're so ugly," I fired back at him. "That or they're waiting for you to do something stupid."

Emmett's only reply was to laugh. Luckily, at that moment we were given the signal to go on into the gym. There we found a table that had been draped in green and black and had four seats. There were name cards that indicated where we were to sit.

The gym was loud and boisterous. The band was playing and kids were cheering. On the main gym floor were rows of folding chairs where parents and other special guests were seated. I smiled at Bella who was sitting next to my mom. She had her hoodie zipped up tight as to not give away my choice. Once it was announced, I had no doubt she would rip open her hoodie.

We had both been on pins and needles over the last few days, waiting to see if she got accepted. Each day that passed, I could see the worry and fear grow. The thought that we wouldn't be at the same school wasn't a happy one, so most days I refused to even think about it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are happy and very pleased to welcome you to Signing Day at Forks High. We have four distinguished athletes whose skill and athleticism have garnered them collegiate attention. We are proud of their accomplishments both on and off the court, ice, and field." Principal Greene droned on for a while longer, but I tuned him out.

"So without further delay, let's introduce our stars and reveal their choices. First off, there is Brody McCallum who has accepted a full basketball scholarship to UC Santa Clara." The gym erupted into even louder cheers. I watched as Brody placed a UCSC hat on his head and signed the letter his recruiter placed in front of him.

Next went Jared Jacobsen who was headed to Maryland on both partial basketball and academic scholarships.

"Let's celebrate with Emmett McCarthy who will be headed to USC on a full football scholarship," announced Mr. Greene. I fist bumped Em as he put on his hat and chuckled when he signed his letter with a chicken scratch signature.

"Last, but certainly not least, Edward Cullen will be gracing Denver with his hockey prowess." I heard Bella and my mom as they shouted and screamed. I looked up to watch as Bella whipped off her hoodie to reveal the Denver Hockey t-shirt she was wearing. I placed the hat on my head and scrawled my name to the letter Aro, my recruiter, placed before me.

"Welcome to the Pioneer family," he stated as he shook my hand.

**BPOV **

_Queen- We are the Champions_

_I've paid my dues -  
Time after time -  
I've done my sentence  
But committed no crime -  
And bad mistakes  
I've made a few  
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -  
But I've come through_

_We are the champions - my friends_  
_And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -_  
_We are the champions -_  
_We are the champions_  
_No time for losers_  
_'Cause we are the champions - of the world_

"Let's go Spartans," I screamed with a squeak. My hands were red and numb from all the clapping, my feet and legs ached from stomping, and I was sure I was losing my voice. But I couldn't give a rat's ass, it was the championship came against Everett. The Seattle arena was bursting at the seams.

It was the middle of the third period and we were tied. Both teams were evenly matched and had awesome scoring chances. I had been standing since the middle of the second when Edward scored to tie the game up. I kept my eyes going between the clock and the ice. Under my breath when I wasn't screaming, I was muttering prayers that we would score.

Edward was on the bench and I was sure he was due for another shift. We were pressuring Everett in their zone, trying to set up a play. The forwards were passing the puck around, trying to be cute with it, and it was pissing me off.

"Shoot!" I screamed. I wasn't alone in that sentiment as the rest of the Forks supporters was busy shouting the same thing. Just then, Kyle sent a wobbly shot toward the goalie and he easily scooped it up with his glove. The whistle was blown and lines were changed.

I watched as Kyle skated to the bench with his head down. Edward slipped over the side boards and smacked Kyle on the ass as he passed by. They shared some words and then exchanged ass smacks. I shook my head at that, still puzzled over the athletic ass smack.

When the puck dropped, Edward was like a blur on the ice, gathering up the errant puck that got loose during the face off. He skated into his zone, waiting for his teammates to get situated and then passed the puck to Jasper who led the charge into the offensive zone.

Edward went from the left to the right side of the ice, drawing Everett's star player with him, Jasper crept over to the left side hooking up with our other forward. With a d-man covering Edward's side and the two other Everett's players down low, it left Jasper with one guy to beat.

He slid the puck over and checked the Everett player onto the ice. I screamed with approval and watched as Forks set up camp once more in Everett's zone. Edward stopped high in the zone, which caused the two players tailing him to drop down. Jasper and Edward passed the puck back and forth, waiting for an opening. Our other forward, who I finally remembered was Chris, started down low but then for some reason started drifting higher.

"No, get down. GET DOWN!" I'm jumping up and down, waving my hands at him as if that would magically make him get where he needs to be.

But because my man is a hockey god, he realized that there was no one down low and started to creep down. He was getting jostled and banged around until one overzealous Everett player pushed him too hard and Edward went down.

Automatically the whistle was blown and the ref gave the signal for a penalty.

"Number 56, blue, two minutes for interference."

I screamed my delight as the Everett player skated slowly into the penalty box.

"Sit your pansy ass down, fucker! No one interferes with my man!" Rose and Alice were next to me and did nothing to quiet me down. They had learned in the other playoff games not to fuck with me and my cheering.

I got even more excited when Edward stayed out for the beginning of the power play. The face-off was in Everett's zone, in the high right circle. Jasper was taking the face-off while Edward was lined up on the top of the circle.

The puck dropped and Jasper scrambled to get the puck, he did and flipped it back to Edward who skated back and took a quick wrist shot. It bounced off the goalies stick and he was unable to corral the rebound. An Everett defender and Steve were digging for it in the corner while Edward and Jasper hung back waiting for someone to dig it lose.

Suddenly the puck squirted out and Edward dove for it, but he lost an edge and went down on his knees. Somehow he remained in control of the puck and from his knees took a shot. It was a hard and fast shot, but it was wobbly and when the goalie went to block it with his stick, it took a weird bounce off the ice, went over the goalie stick, and slid into the net.

The goal light went off and the crowd went berserk. What little voice I had left, I lost in that moment as I screamed and shouted in celebration. Edward barely had any time to get off his knees before he was surrounded by his teammates. On the overhead Jumbotron, they replayed the goal in slow-mo and it was even better watching it the second time around.

I glanced at the clock, there was less than three minutes left in the game. I gnawed on my fingernails the whole time. My stomach was tied in knots and I wanted to vomit when they pulled the goalie with just about ninety seconds left.

With each shot Everett took at our goalie, I bit my lip. When one clanked off the pipe, I nearly had a heart attack. As the final thirty seconds ticked off, Jasper got a loose puck and sent it the length of the ice. In agitated suspense, I watched as it slowly slid toward the goal and past the goal line. I slumped in my seat in relief when we added the empty netter.

I cried when the horn sounded and watched as Edward and his teammates flew onto the ice, helmets, sticks, and gloves were ripped off as they jumped into a massive pile to celebrate the first ever state championship. With my heart swelled with pride, I watched as Edward accepted the championship trophy and skated around with it held high over his head before bringing to his team.

When his name was called to receive not only his medal, but an award for most valuable player for the tournament, I tried to shout out, but my voice was gone. So instead I blew him kisses and wiped the tears that fell like rain.

That night, the six of us partied hard in our hotel room. Though Esme and Carlisle were supposed to be our chaperones, they made us promise to keep the party to our hotel room and if we went down to the pool to let them know and one would make sure we didn't drown.

It was the best night of our lives, and I thanked the heavens that we had pictures to help fill in the missing pieces.

"I need your help." I implored my girls one day before school. The boys were off talking some new video game that was coming out and it was the first opportunity I had to talk to Rose and Alice without Edward nearby.

"What's up?" asked Alice.

I took a deep breath. "I need to get Edward to the arena tonight. I have a surprise for him." That got both of their attentions and in whispered hushes, I explained everything to them.

"You have a wicked mind, Swan and I love it." Rose looked off in contemplative silence. She then turned back to face us. "Can you both get away from Edward and Jasper and meet me in the library during lunch?"

We both nodded our heads.

"Good, we should be plan it all then." She then smirked and I knew everything would be just fine.

Later that day, the three of us huddled around a piece of paper. This was the crucial part and it had to be worded just right to lead Edward where I wanted him to go. After several heated moments in which we argued and laughed at our cheesiness, we ended up with something we all agreed upon:

_I've been a bad girl, sentenced to more than detention._

_I've given myself five for withholding._

_You need to supervise my penalty_

_To discover where my destiny lies_

I placed the paper in an envelope and gave it to Alice to give to Edward. Now, I had to find a way to make it through the rest of the school day without Edward figuring anything out.

A few hours later, my phone buzzed with an incoming message.

**He left the parking lot, Alice is following. R**

I typed a quick thanks and finished my last minute preparations. Alice was following to make sure that he eventually made it to the arena and notify me when he did.

When Alice texted me less than fifteen minutes later that he was down the street, I trembled. I rushed to get to the penalty box and wait for Edward to find me. I faintly heard a door open and close. My heart started beating rapidly in my chest and I had to take several deep breaths to calm down.

But when I saw him across the ice, with a smirk on his face, and my note in his hand, I couldn't help but smile. I wanted to run to him, but part of the surprise was him finding me as I was. So I waited not so patiently as he carefully walked across the ice. When he reached the penalty box, his eyes grew wide.

I was biting my lip as he drank me in. I had my hair loose and wild, just as he liked and I was wearing a Denver hockey jersey.

He opened the door and his mouth dropped open. "Fuck, Bella." His eyes zeroed in on my bare legs, the jersey just covering the top of my thighs as I sat down.

He stepped inside the small enclosed space and the door clanged shut. I felt exposed and hidden all at the same time.

"What is going on?" he held up the note and I handed him another envelope. This one had already been opened over two weeks ago. I hated that I had kept this from him, but I wanted to tell him in a special way.

"Take a look," I said as he removed the letter with shaky hands. I watched as his eyes scanned the sheet. I had practically memorized it word for word.

"Is this for real? Did you get into Denver?" His voice was just a whisper in the tiny box. I nodded, my voice suddenly deserting me. He looked back at the letter. "You've known for two weeks?" I couldn't tell if he was happy or pissed about that fact.

"I wanted to tell you in a special way," was all I could say.

He rewarded me with his killer smirk and I felt my pussy clench. He pulled me up by my hands and our chests slammed against each other. His arms wrapped around me and he lowered his face down to mine. Our lips were separated by scant millimeters, our breaths mingling.

My chest was heaving as his hands slowly wandered down my back to the top of my ass. I held my breath as he continued down to the hem of the jersey, when he was met with bare flesh, he paused and pulled back.

"Are you bare underneath this, Bella?" His voice was low and gravely.

Once again, all I could do was nod.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed before his hands grabbed my bare ass and his lips crushed mine.

We kissed hard and frantic, full of tongue and teeth. His hands kneaded and clutched at my ass, making me whimper with desire. My hands roamed through his hair, down his shoulders, and then finally ended up digging into his biceps.

Somehow he whipped off the jersey and his eyes feasted on my naked flesh. I was so aroused and needy. I wanted to feel his skin. So I worked to pull his shirt over his head. With his chest presented to me, I trailed my fingers through the sprinkling of chest hair. I raked my nails over his nipples and his low moan had me rubbing my legs together.

His lips were all over my body, nipping at my collar bone, licking and sucking at the swell of my breasts before he flicked his tongue at my hardened nipples. I worked furiously on the button and zipper of his jeans. When his mouth drew one nipple deep into his mouth, I lost my focus and got lost in the sensations of his mouth on me.

"Edward," I whimpered, not sure what I was pleading for, just knowing that I needed him.

"So good, you taste so good," he spoke around a nipple.

Somehow I managed to get his pants undone and I pushed them down as far as I could. Since the space was so small, it was hard to maneuver, but I was able to get him seated on the bench. As soon as he was seated, my mouth engulfed his cock in one long suck.

"Oh, shit," he groaned. I pulled his pants and boxers off and he splayed his legs even wider. I moved between them and worked his cock with my mouth and hands. One of his hands wound through my hair, gathering it up so he could watch as I worked him over.

"Fucking beautiful," he murmured and I looked up at him to see his eyes were glued on my mouth.

I kept my eyes on him as I licked and slurped all around his cock, tracing the veins and feeling the silky hardness as I stroked him tightly. His hips flexed upward, driving his dick further down my throat. Feeling him so wild for me had me rubbing my thighs together, I needed him to be in me.

Just then he grounded out, "Stop, or I'm gonna come."

I pulled off him with a pop and smirked at him. "Good because I want you inside me." I reached for the condom I had brought and handed it to him. He chuckled when he saw it but quickly sheathed himself.

I turned my back to him and reached down between my legs to line him up with my soaked pussy. When I sank down feeling him filling me up, we both let out matching moans. Edward pulled my back flush with chest and together we found the perfect rhythm.

His hands roamed all over my body, tweaking my nipple and whispering in my ear how good I felt wrapped around him.

It was all too much for me and I could feel my orgasm as it raced from the tip of my toes to gather low in my belly. My hands clutched at his arms, which were slick with sweat as my movements grew more and more erratic.

"Fuck … Edward …"

"I know, Bella, let it go,"

With a strangled sob I ground my pussy around his dick as his fingers flew over my clit. I closed my eyes as the sensations overwhelmed me and my body erupted. I felt my pussy as it pulsed and clenched around Edward. His low growl vibrated through my chest and added to the waves of my orgasm.

When the last shudder raced down my spine, my head dropped onto his shoulder. In silence we let our bodies settle and our breathing calm down. His arms held me close and every so often, he dropped kisses onto my sweat soaked skin.

I turned my head to look at him. "You're not mad I kept it from you this long, are you?"

He smoothed out the frown I was sporting and kissed my nose. "No, not if this is how you break the news." He winked and I laughed.

"I'll remember that for the next time." I snuggled further into his chest.

"So, I have to know, how did it compare?" His hands gestured to the enclosed space. I knew he was asking me if this was anything close to my fantasy.

I kissed his neck. "So much better than I dreamed," I whispered.

**A/N: *hands out water and turns on fans* You ladies okay out there? So.. Edward wins the championship, picks Denver, finds out Bella is going with him AND has hot penalty box sex! What more could a girl ask for!? **

**Come find me on FB I'm Joey Witchyvampgirl Masen and I have a group with CullensTwiMistress called Sweetwards Mistresses where every Friday I give ut Hockeyward teasers and such! Come join us!**

**Would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter... leave me some love? Till next week! Happy Thanksgiving to all my US readers!**


	22. The Party Never Ends

**A/N: HEY! I hope all those that celebrated Thanksgiving last week survived and didn't eat too much! I had a good holiday as well! I even did some shopping- online as I hate crowds!**

**Want to send lots of love to my beta Itlnbrt who even with her crazy life, made this chappie shine! To my lovely pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress, JoJo757 & fanfichardcore... you ladies rock my socks off! *mwah***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight just a need to play in her sandbox! ENJOY!**

The Party Never Ends

**BPOV**

_Peter Gabriel- In Your Eyes_

_In your eyes  
The light the heat  
In your eyes  
I am complete  
In your eyes  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches  
In your eyes  
The resolution of all the fruitless searches  
In your eyes  
I see the light and the heat  
In your eyes  
Oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light  
The heat I see in your eyes_

"My God, Bella! You're going to kill Edward in that dress!" Alice's face sported a huge grin. I looked at myself with a highly critical eye.

Rose was standing right behind me with shinning eyes. We were in Alice's room getting ready for prom, and I was looking at the final touches to my hair. It was hard to believe that the woman staring at me from the mirror was me.

I was in a long black one-shoulder dress, with a silver accent design on the bodice. It hugged my curves until it got to my waist and then the dress flowed and swirled around me in a river of satin and tulle. Rose had even talked me into wearing strappy silver heels. Alice swept my hair into a very elegant French twist and kept my make-up simple and smoky.

I had never felt sexier and more beautiful.

Alice joined my perusal of myself and we linked arms.

"Hard to believe the year is winding down, isn't it?" Her words were low and whispered as if she was fearful of breaking the magical spell we were under.

"Yeah." It was all I could say. All three of us had been feeling quite nostalgic as the last few weeks of school wound down.

Rose sidled up on my other side. "Let's not be all emo tonight. It's prom, let's have some fun and drive the boys wild." She stared expectantly at Alice and me through the mirror.

I nodded. "You're right. For tonight it's about fun and making memories."

Alice bobbed her head yes. "Well, let's finish getting ready."

Rose moved to where all our make-up was spread out, while I went to help Alice with her hair. She had been growing it out and it was now a very sleek bob that went past her chin. We decided to leave some hair framing her face and pull the rest back where it would be secured at the nape of her neck in a small bun.

I placed a few silver combs on either side of the bun to add some sparkle. Alice had bought an emerald green sleeveless dress in flowing silk. The only adornment on it was a green and silver belt that was placed right under her bust, creating the look of an empire waist. The skirt of the dress skimmed over the tops of her feet barely showing her sequined heels.

Then her and Rose switched places. Alice went to do her make-up and I helped Rose take out the hot rollers in her hair. In a move that surprised Alice and me, Rose chose a purple dress. We were certain she would go with either red or black. But once we saw it on her, we knew it was perfect for her. It was a halter style satin dress where the straps crisscrossed before going around her neck. There was a small opening just below her breast where a small patch of skin would show along with just a hint of the curve of her breasts. Keeping with the silver theme that ran through all our dresses, her dress had a wide silver belt that rested right on top of her waist. She also picked out killer silver stiletto peep-toe shoes. I still wasn't sure how she could walk in those things.

We swept some hair high onto the crown of her head and left the rest of it falling down her back in a riot of soft waves. A few delicate tendrils of hair wisped from her temples and I stuck a silver bejeweled flower high on the side of her head.

When we deemed ourselves as ready as we were going to get, we carefully made our way down stairs to where the boys were already waiting for us. We walked into Alice's living room and together we stopped dead to take in the gorgeous men before us.

My eyes drank in the hot as fuck tuxes, with fitted pants and jackets. Like us, the boys also coordinated. They each had matching silver ties and their vests matched the color of our dresses. When my gaze finally traveled to Edward's face, I was greeted with his sexy smirk. I smirked back when I caught his eyes traveling over my body as well.

We took the traditional pictures of singles, couples, and groups. With so many of us, it felt like a Marie Claire prom photo shoot. When the last photo was taken we made our way to the limo the boys had rented for the night. The senior class decided they didn't want to hold prom in the gym. So we held fundraisers and the alumni booster club pitched in and we were able to rent space at the Olympic Lodge in Port Angeles.

When we arrived the main room was decorated to match the theme Starry Night. Massive amounts of twinkle lights gave the ballroom a muted glow. From the ceiling were hung silver and gold stars of various sizes. The DJ played some tunes while people danced on the laid down floor. There was an adjoining room where tables were set up with small lamps and draped in gauzy fabrics. A refreshment table lined one end and it was filled with treats and punch.

We claimed a table so we had some place to hang out and talk, but decided we wanted to hit the dance floor for a while. So the six of us pushed our way onto the floor where the beginning of Usher's _DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love_ was being played.

Edward grabbed me and we swayed and grinded. His hot breath was on my neck as he sang in my ear. I knew right then that it was going to be a long, but memorable night. One song morphed into another and another. We jumped, danced, and shimmied our asses off. The best part was when there was a slow song and I was wrapped up in Edward's arms.

To be held by him was the greatest thing in the world. To stare deep into his eyes, my heart overflowed with emotions and I could feel them trying to bubble their way to the top. During one song, it was all just too much, so I snuggled against his chest. I felt him rest his cheek on the top of my head, and we got lost in our little bubble.

Too bad we couldn't stay in that bubble for long, we had friends that refused to be ignored. So we watched as Em did his own version of LMFAO's _I'm Sexy and I Know It_. Us girls were amazed when the boys broke into some breakdancing. I laughed when Alice told me they got hooked one summer on break dancing videos on YouTube.

Alice, Rose, and I did a silly dance to _Last Friday Night_, where we sang to the guys, but never let them be a part of the dance. Edward's eyes darkened the more I danced but never really touched him. So it was no surprise that when the song was over, he pulled me close and attacked my neck with his lips.

There were plenty of times when we went to chill and sat down to just talk. No one mentioned that this was the last summer before we went our separate ways. Instead, we made more memories and enjoyed our night.

If I had to classify the whole prom experience in one word, I would pick perfect, except for one little incident with the whores. One would think after all the time Edward and I were together they would get the picture. But maybe they felt they needed to give it one last try before graduation.

I had gone to the bathroom with the girls and when we came out our table was surrounded by the whores, or more specifically Tanya, Jess, and Lauren. They were preening and flaunting their goods which were barely held in by what they considered dresses. But it was what they were saying that got my blood boiling.

"Oh, Edward, don't ya think you've played with Bella enough? I mean, like, you could have any one of us. We are so much more woman that she is," cooed Lauren who thrust her chest out, if she bent over everyone would see her nipples.

"She's right," agreed Jess her head bobbing fast and furious. She then bent down close to Edward and whispered yelled, "If you're a good boy you could have all three of us." But when one of her fingers had the audacity of touching Edward, I saw red.

"Get your disease ridden hands off of him," I seethed. I felt the fury wash over me, I'd had enough. I gripped Jess' hand and wrenched it off Edward and pulled her till we were nose to nose.

Jess' eyes were wide and fearful, and I felt powerful. She should fear me. But I was mindful enough to know I didn't want to get kicked out of prom.

"I thought you had gotten the memo Jess, he is not yours, he's none of yours. We've been together for months! Are you so desperate that you can't accept that? Don't you think that had he wanted you he would have sought you out when he and Bree were over?"

I saw the gears in her head working overtime, and I worried about frying her brain. I pushed her away from me and closer to her friends. I looked them all over.

"Get it through your thick skulls ladies, he's with me. I don't give a fuck if you like it or not, but it's the reality." I felt Edward stand up behind me, his arms snaked around me and I watched in glee as their eyes narrowed on that little gesture.

"Never wanted you ladies and I've tried to be nice in turning you down. But since you persist, I'll explain why." He sighed loudly as if he was talking to toddlers, and in a way he was. "Tanya, your snatch smells like tuna, not pleasant. Jess, you are so filled with fake parts that if I wanted to fuck something plastic I'd get a blow up doll. Lauren, you're just too dumb to fuck." He waved a dismissal hand toward the whores who were standing there with mouths gaping wide.

"Is that clear enough for you ladies to prove he will never be into you?" Just to add insult to injury, I craned my neck around and Edward laid a sweet chaste kiss on my lips, one of his hands slid up my body to rest on the nape of my neck.

"Not sure if ya want to stand around and watch them once they start kissing," stated Emmett. "Once they get going it's hard to get them to come up for air." I heard our friends laugh and the furious grumble of the whores. By now I had turned in his arms and the chaste kisses had turned into something hot and heavy.

"Okay, they're gone, you can stop. I think you made your point." I could hear Rose's annoyed but amused tone. We pulled away and I smirked at his swollen lips marred by my lipstick. I wiped it off before we turned to face our friends.

When we did, they were all grinning. "I think you drove the point home. Two of them were in tears," reported Alice.

"Let me guess, Jess was the only one not crying?" I questioned.

Rose chuckled, "Correct, I think the Botox hasn't worn off yet."

The six of us busted into peals of laughter and the mood was lightened. The rest of the night was how I always thought of prom, filled with music, dancing, and spending time with your friends. Like I said, it was a perfect night.

Later that night as I lay in his arms, his body surrounded me, and he lazily pumped into me; his eyes were so intently focused on me. In that moment, I was drowning in emotions. I truly felt connected to him like never before. So when were at last relaxed and sated, his hands were drawing random patterns on my skin, I didn't think, I just spoke.

"I love you, Edward." My chin was propped up on his chest and I felt my face flame up, but I could care less. It was still true, I did love him.

His brilliant smile in return warmed my heart.

"Love you too, Bella." We kissed softly and I felt as if my heart would explode.

We snuggled down and sleep finally beginning to overtake us. My last conscious awareness as I drifted away was a small nugget of regret about not waiting to give my v-card to Edward.

"Come on, Bella, I don't want to be late!" shouted Charlie from downstairs. I rolled my eyes at him and looked in the mirror one more time.

The awful green gown and cap looked ridiculous on me. So I decided that since I didn't spend a lot of time on the clothes that went under it, I wasn't going to spend a lot of time on my hair. I pulled it back into a low ponytail used some bobby bins to secure wayward strands and considered myself ready to go.

I drove with Charlie to the school and there I met up with Renee and Phil.

"Oh, my baby. You look so good." She had watery eyes as she hugged me tight. She insisted on some pictures of us as a family which I kind of found funny since she made sure to include Phil. It was like some weird Jerry Springer show. But like the good girl I was, I smiled and huddled close to my parents.

Luckily for me, Edward and our friends found me and saved me from further embarrassment. Of course, I forgot that I had to introduce Edward and my mom.

"Mom, this is my boyfriend, Edward. Edward this is my mom, Renee and her husband Phil." They shook hands and while Phil and Charlie drew him into a conversation about college hockey, my mom pulled me aside.

"The pictures you sent didn't do him justice. He's very good looking, Bella." She gave me a wink and then proceeded to look up and down Edward's body. I was mortified and just a smidge proud of my man for being so damn sexy. I just didn't need my mom to notice that fact.

"Mom, stop it. He's too young for you and very much taken." I hip checked her to get her to stop ogling him. She giggled at me.

Just then we got the warning bell that we needed to line up. I thanked the heavens for that little reprieve. I gave my family one last wave before I walked with Edward to where we were to line up. He dropped me off with the S's before heading to the front of the line. Jess gave me the stink eye but I gave her one back and she smartly turned to face the front.

The entire ceremony was blessedly short, but not short enough. It did give me plenty of time to brood about the summer. It was the last summer before we all went our separate ways. Rose and Em were headed off to California. While they won't be attending the same school, they will be close to each other. Alice and Jasper were headed to New York. Alice got into Parson's and unbeknownst to all of us, Jasper got accepted into Columbia. We were going to be so far apart next fall and it was hard not to dwell on that fact.

When I did pay attention to the ceremony it was to listen to Angela's commencement speech and she stole the show. She was funny and didn't bother with the usual fake platitudes. She spoke with honesty, sincerity, and just enough sass to make it enjoyable. She ended her speech with a line that garnered a standing ovation.

"We've spent our lives tethered to the strings of youth. Now that we have our wings, let's spread them and give the world hell."

As I walked across the stage, I heard my family cheering and yelling, and I gave them a little smile and wave. When the last person had received their diploma, the entire senior class cheered and then threw up our caps in a burst of green.

In the chaotic crowd of graduates and families, I tried very hard to find Edward and my family. I found his family first and was pleased to see that Edward was with them.

"We did it!" he shouted before he swept me up and swung me around. I hugged his neck tighter and giggled.

"About flipping time," I replied, mindful that his parents were there and wouldn't appreciate my potty mouth. "Help me find my parents."

Edward helped me scan the crowd and when he spotted Charlie he lifted me up so I could get his attention. Charlie gave me a head nod to tell me he heard me and maneuvered Renee and Phil towards us.

Once there, there was a flurry of introductions and hugs. The most surprising of everything going on was when Charlie pulled me into his arms. I knew he wasn't one for displays of affection, so that was out character for him.

"So proud of you, Bella. I just wanted to tell you that and that I loved having you here with me." Charlie was a man of few words so when he spoke, it always carried more significance.

"Thanks, Dad. I'm glad I came to live here as well." I hugged him closer and for just a brief moment, I allowed myself to be a little girl safe in her daddy's arms.

**EPOV**

_Rascal Flatts- Summer Nights_

_It's summer nights baby!  
Come on ladies, it's time to  
Pop that top  
And fellas, I know you're  
Ready to rock  
We went crazy, cooped  
Up all winter long  
And school is out so let's  
Get it on  
Flip flop tan and some white sand  
I know the perfect spot_

_Well the sun better set soon_  
_So we can get in the mood_  
_Things start gettin' all heated up_  
_When it starts gettin' cool_  
_Yeah_

That last summer before school started was a fucking blast. The six of us hung out almost every day. We were constantly on the move. It was like there was an unspoken desire to make as many memories as possible. We had ten weeks to celebrate and hang out before the reality of college sunk in.

There were weekends we spent in Seattle going to baseball games, group dates, and shopping for the girls. Em, Jazz, and I worked with Charlie to get everyone's cars tuned up and ready for college in the fall. My mom made herself the unofficial dorm mom and she constantly bought us things that she thought would make communal living better.

It was heaven that I got to spend practically every day with Bella. We also made sure that we got our alone time. I would have to admit that those were my favorite days, the ones with just her and me. I didn't care what we did as long as it was the two of us.

There were days when we drove to Port A for dinner and a movie and others where we spent holed up in one of our rooms, snuggled in bed. Those days weren't always about sex, although that did happen more times than not. We would talk about school in the fall, I would talk about how worried I was about playing hockey at the college level, and Bella would confess how it worried her that she had no clue about her future.

One day in particular, it was pouring out and we were snuggled in my bed. Music was playing in the background, but Bella was in a contemplative mood. I let her stew in silence, but when she continued to remain quiet, I rolled us over so she was beneath me.

"Talk to me baby," I whispered against her lips. I stared deep in her eyes, trying to find the answers there.

Her lower lip quivered just a hair. "I'm worried about school and if you'll resent me being there." Unshed tears made her eyes glassy and I brushed my lips over hers.

"I'm excited to have you there. I'm excited to know you'll be there cheering me on and that we get to experience college together. Do I know the future? No, but for now, I'm just happy to be right here, with you. There is no other place that I'd rather be. I love you, Bella."

I wiped the few stray tears away with my thumbs and the proceeded to show her exactly how much I loved her. I slowly removed her clothes then covered her skin in kisses. With each kiss and caress her body became soft and pliant.

When I finally entered her, her eyes closed and she threw her head back while she clutched at my body. I held her close, trying to surround her not only with my body but with my love. I kept my thrusts slow and languid, driving her higher and higher. I kissed every inch of her sweat soaked skin, tasting her salty goodness.

When I felt her begin to pulse and clench down on me, I drove faster and deeper into her. Her body trembled and shook and when she finally let go I felt her convulse around me. It set off my own orgasm and I emptied deep into her with several hard thrusts.

"Love you, Edward," she whispered.

I kissed her lips softly and chastely.

"Love you too, my sweet girl."

Those talks made me feel closer to her and made me realize exactly why I loved her so much. In fact, I loved those days so much that I vowed that we would continue to have them even when we were at school.

Yet, that's not to say that the six of us didn't have some epic times. In fact, the best one was the Fourth of July. It was a rare sunny and warm day so we spent it at First Beach. The girls made a ton of food that kept us fed all day long while the boys and I supplied the entertainment- fireworks.

We spread huge blankets on the beach, blasted some tunes, and stared at the girls as they stripped down to barely there bikinis. How we walked away from them I would never know, but I remembered many dropped passes as the three of us tried to play catch.

After we had worked up quite a sweat we decided to take a quick dip in the ocean to cool off. But when we made it to the girls we realized they had all fallen asleep. Emmett got a wicked gleam in his eyes and I knew we were in trouble.

"I think we need to cool them off as well. They look a little toasty, don't ya think?" He waggled his eyebrows. I scrunched up my face

"Dude that could get us in the doghouse for the rest of the summer. Could ya deal with that?"

Em's reply was to roll his eyes. "Don't be a pussy, Edward. "

I laughed. "I'm not. But I also don't want to go the rest of the summer without getting any pussy." Jasper chortled.

"He's got ya there, Em. Could you survive if Rose put you in a sex time out?"

We both laughed as Em tried to figure out just how much trouble he would get into by dunking the girls in the water. After much deliberation, which only took like three seconds, he waved away our concern.

"Live a little. They can't stay mad at us forever." He looked at us to see if we agreed and both of us just shook our heads. "Oh come on, don't be chicken shits."

Somehow against our better judgment we agreed with him. Carefully we scooped up the girls. I looked down on Bella's flushed face and prayed she wasn't going to kill me. We were careful to keep their bodies from touching the water until we dunked them.

Em mouthed the countdown and on three we simultaneously dunked the girls and went under with them. We were close to a short drop off, so we all had to tread water.

"Oh, fuck!" screamed Jasper. Just then I felt a tug at my waist and then nothing. I reached down in the water to find my swim trunks missing.

"Oh, shit, my trunks fell off."

"Mine too," said Emmett. Just then the three girls popped up out of the water each holding our trunks.

"Silly boys, think you can play games with us. You should know better than to put Emmett in charge." Rose smirked at us while we treaded water.

"Yeah, especially since he's about as quiet as a herd of elephants." Alice was shaking her head. They slowly headed backwards toward dry land with our swim shorts.

"And you two," scolded Bella as she waved her finger at Jasper and I. "You should know better than to agree with Em. He's nothing but an overgrown child."

"Hey, I take offense at that," retorted Em.

"You know it's true baby." Rose gave him a beaming smile while Em just huffed.

"Give us back our shorts, babe. You had your little fun."

The girls just shook their heads and smiled.

"Oh, baby, it's not gonna be that easy. See, if ya want 'em, come and get 'em."

The three of them turned tail and sauntered away adding a little extra swagger to their walk, their hips swaying. My dick reacted instantly and I ducked down even further into the water to make sure no one could see.

"Come on back, ladies!" pleaded Em.

"Bella, baby, please! Come back, I'm sorry." I wasn't too proud to beg.

When they reached the beach they turned back. Bella blew me a kiss and I began to hope that she would take pity on my stupid ass and give me back my shorts. But her words blew that hope away on a wisp of wind.

"Sorry baby, this is too good pass up." She waved my shorts at me and walked around the corner and out of sight.

"You motherfucker," shrieked Jasper. "What in the hell are we supposed to do now, dipshit?" Jasper sent a plume of water at Emmett, who being the five year old he was, threw another right back.

"Knock it off you two," I cried. "Let's consider how in the hell we're going to get our shorts back without giving everyone a peep show."

We threw ideas back and forth but nothing was working and I was getting tired of swimming in my birthday suit, I didn't need some creature to mistake my goodies for food.

"Fuck it, dudes. I'm just running up there, let the jewels sparkle for the ladies, I've got nothing to be ashamed of." With that, Emmett took off running. I looked at Jasper and we shrugged. Then we began running.

I made sure to keep my eyes up and not notice that Em's ass was hairy and white. When we came around the bend, the girls were still laughing but when they saw us they started snapping pictures and I thought Bella was taking video.

We snatched our trunks off the table and scurried off behind shrubs to put them on. Then it was open season on the girls. We chased them easily and tackled them down. I immediately went to tickle Bella's sides, which caused her to shriek and let go of her phone. I snatched it up and jumped off her. I found the video she took and chuckled.

Bella came up and jumped on my back.

"Quite focused on me weren't you?" I asked her. I went back to looking at the video where Bella zoomed in on me. I was surprised that she kept my man parts out of the shot. "I'm surprised you didn't go lower."

Her breath washed over me as she laughed. "Those parts are just for me." She kissed my cheek just as we heard Emmett scream.

"My dick is not that small!"

The five us busted out as the picture made the rounds. It was the best day ever.

**A/N: Awww... we had ILY! WOOP! We covered prom, grad and summer.. next week it will be college! Since I covered a lot of territory in a few chapters I want to offer that who ever is my 1000 reviewer can pick an outtake of their choice! I've done this for other stories and they are a hit. So..please..leave me some love! Until next week! *mwah***


	23. Bumps in the Road

**A/N: It's Tuesday! YAY! Many of you were very happy with Edward's little verbal beat down of the skank crew! You are all soo naughty! Now.. we are in college... and well as the title says.. things get bubmy. See ya at the end for some important news!**

**Love as always to my wonderful beta Itlnbrt.. I couldn't do it without you girl! My pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress (this chappie is for you sweetie in honor of your bday), JoJo757 & fanfichardcore- you ladies are the bread to my butter...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, we know who does.. so we know it's not me! ENJOY!**

Bumps in the Road

**EPOV**

_Nickelback- Never Gonna Be Alone_

_Time, is going by, so much faster than I,  
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.  
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,  
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.  
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know..._

_You're never gonna be alone_  
_From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,_  
_I won't let you fall..._  
_You're never gonna be alone_  
_I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone_

Bella was squeezing the hell out of my hand, so much so I was worried that she would break it.

"Ya know, babe, I need that hand for hockey." I gave her a pointed look at the hand she was currently holding in a death grip.

"Oh, shit, so sorry!" She released my hand with a sheepish grin. "It's just that I'm so nervous, I hate flying, and I'm all nervous…"

I cut off her rambling with a finger to her lips. Anxious eyes peered back at me. I knew it wasn't the fact that she was moving out of state that was bothering her, she did move from Florida to Forks without batting an eye. So I guessed it was the pressure of being on her own and still feeling clueless with her future. I thought the fact that I decided on a major recently was also setting her on edge.

"One day at a time," I reminded her. I held her gaze until the tension leaked from her face. "It's going to be a long four years if you freak out like this over everything. Just chill, baby." I gave her my sexy smirk and winked.

She chuckled behind my hand and then flicked it with her tongue.

"Eww, gross," I joked. She gave me a light slap and nestled closer as the captain came over the speaker.

"We will be landing at Denver International Airport in about fifteen minutes. The weather is sunny and a balmy eighty-two degrees. The local time is ten-fifteen AM. Thank you for flying United Airlines."

We busied ourselves with getting ready for touch-down.

"I'll call your father once we are in baggage," stated my mother. I was so focused on Bella and calming her down, I forgot that she was with us. Dad and Charlie were already in Denver having driven the UHaul from Forks. It was cheaper to rent a truck with all our stuff than ship it.

"Sounds good. Do they have directions to campus?" I asked. The plan was that they would meet us at school and help us unload. Tomorrow the three of them would fly back to Forks.

"Yes, your father has them. He is just waiting word of our arrival." I nodded and went back to getting our stuff ready.

Forty-five minutes later, we had our luggage and we were in a rental car heading straight for the campus. The ride was silent as we soaked in our new surroundings. It was majestic the way you could see the mountains no matter where you looked. I thought Washington had impressive vistas but it was nothing compared the stark beauty of Colorado.

Less than thirty minutes later, we had arrived on campus. After mom found a place to park we unloaded our bags. Bella and I took in the campus sites as we waiting for the UHaul to arrive. It was a sprawling campus, teeming with towering trees and historic buildings. There was an eclectic mix of architecture from turn of the century to something more modern. The ever present Rocky Mountains provided a spectacular backdrop and gave the campus a calm and unassuming atmosphere. Both Bella and I were lucky to be housed in the same dorm, Centennial Halls. I was on the third floor while she was on the sixth.

A short time later the van with our fathers pulled in. There were hugs and hellos before Charlie and Dad began a plan of attack. We decided to start with my room and work our way to Bella's. While Charlie and dad had begun unloading the van and loading up the moving dollies; Bella, mom, and I went to check-in and collect our keys.

We were given room and mailbox keys as well as a welcome packet with all the rules and policies pertaining to dorm life. We quickly made our way up to the third floor while mom waited for dad and Charlie to show them the way.

When we opened the door to room 310, I was surprised to see I made it first.

"When did your roomie say he would be arriving," asked Bella as she looked around the typical dorm room.

"I thought today, but maybe it was later on." I had talked a few times to my roommate, Diego, over the summer. He was a scholarship athlete as well, only for basketball.

"Looks like you get first dibs," she stated as she gestured to the two twin beds, desks, dresser, and closet. "Which one do ya want?" I figured it really didn't matter, once Diego arrived we could move things to our liking.

"I'll take this side," I replied. Just then the first load of stuff arrived and we started to unload it. I left Bella in the room with my mom so they could make the bed, while I went down to help bring more stuff up.

For the next few hours we worked to bring up my stuff. I was grateful the dorm had an elevator, or I'd have no strength to help Bella. When the last box was in my room, we headed up to the sixth floor to check out Bella's room.

She was in room 645, and when we opened the door, her roommate was already there and unpacked. She was sitting on her bed reading while listening to her iPod. She must have heard the noise of the door opening and us stomping in, for she put her book down as she turned around.

"Are you Bella?" she asked looking at Bella.

"Yes, and you must be Carmen." The girls shook hands and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Carmen."

Carmen looked behind Bella to see me, her dad, and mom waiting with arms full of stuff.

"Why don't I get out of your way for a few hours and then I'll come back. It was nice meeting you, Bella."

"Are you sure?" asked Bella as she worried her bottom lip.

Carmen waved her off. "It's no big deal. This room is barely big enough for the two us. We have the rest of the year to get to know each other. See ya in a few. In fact, here is my cell number, call me when it's okay to come back. I'm just going to read in the lounge."

"Thanks, we'll try to be quick."

"No rush. Classes don't start for another few days, we've got loads of time." With that Carmen squeezed past everyone and was out of the room.

"Can I put this down, it's heavy," wheezed Charlie.

"Oh, shoot, yes, right here dad." Bella waved to a place across the room. With that we began the few hours' work of trekking Bella's stuff from the van to her room.

When everything was finally hauled up, Esme and Bella had made some significant progress. The bed, which had been left unbunked, was made; clothes were in the closet and dresser, leaving just a few boxes left to unpack.

"Let's save those for later, I'm starved," stated Charlie. We weakly nodded and filed down to the rental car. We found an Applebee's nearby and in no time our table was piled with food.

The atmosphere was a bit on the quiet side. The next day the parents would be leaving and the college experience would begin. I knew it felt a bit daunting to me and looking at Bella I could tell she felt the same. At the dorm, we all said quiet goodnights and gave hugs.

"We'll stop over tomorrow to have breakfast before we leave, is that okay?" Esme looked at us both, then smoothed a wayward lock of Bella's hair.

"Sounds good, mom." Beside me, Bella nodded her head. With one last round of hugs we watched as Esme followed the guys in the rental van to return it before they made their way to the hotel.

The first week was crazy busy. From getting books and learning to live with a stranger to learning the ins and outs of dorm life, there never seemed to time to chill. That was until our first weekend after school started.

We had just gotten back from eating and we were now curled up on Bella's bed. She and Carmen had decided to bunk and Bella lucked out on getting the lower bed. There was music playing and we were talking about our first week.

I had decided to declare a game development and animation major while Bella remained undecided. But since we both had generals to complete, we were both in freshman composition and a general biology course. It was nice to share a few classes with her.

"I can't believe I have to report for strength training for hockey. It feels weird that the first game of the season is little more than a month away." I was idly playing with a few strands of Bella's hair. I knew once I added hockey to the mix I was going to be super busy.

"You'll be fine," she stated. Her hands ran up and down my arms, calming me. "I pick up my season pass next week. Did ya get me a good seat?" She craned her neck to look back at me.

"Ya know I did. Lower student sections, ten rows up. I saved a second seat next to it for Carmen if she was still interested in getting one." She kissed my chin and I hummed.

"I'll ask her. Last time I checked she wanted one." I captured her lips sweetly and we spent a few minutes just wrapped up in each other and kissing like there was no tomorrow. I knew we couldn't have sexy times as Carmen was due back soon from studying.

As my eyes swept her room, I noticed she had one last box to unpack. "What's that? A box still left? Why Ms. Swan, weren't you the one on my ass earlier in the week to get my last box unpacked? And yet here you are, the holder of a lone box."

She giggled, "I honestly don't know where to put the stuff in there. Our room is filled as it is. I probably should have left it at Charlie's." She snuggled closer.

"Well, I think we should unpack it." I thought I felt her tense for just a moment, but I wasn't sure, so I brushed it off. Instead I easily moved her away from me and went to the box. I moved it into the middle of the room.

Bella hastily scampered down to me. She placed her hands over mine. "I don't think we need to worry about this now. We have like forty-five minutes before Carmen comes back." She waggled her brows at me and I tried not to laugh.

My brain tickled with the idea that there was something in there she didn't want me to see, so of course, I had to know what was in there. Before she could protest, I threw off her hands and had ripped off the tape.

"Edward!" exclaimed Bella, as I dived right into the box. At first all I saw where a bunch of pictures, rolled up posters, and books. But I had hit pay dirt when I dug down to the bottom.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? 'The Edward Book'?" I held up the rather large book to Bella who was blushing furiously and chewing on her lip like she was starving. "What is this?"

"Edward, please, don't open it," she begged, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes were wide and fearful.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" I asked as I flipped open the cover. Bella gave a small whimper as I perused the pages.

At first I had no idea what I was seeing until I realized everything in there was about me.

_Duh, idiot, it was called the Edward Book for a reason._

There were dozens of newspaper clippings about me and my hockey games. They spanned my junior and senior years. But it was more than just clippings, there were handwritten notes as well. She had detailed my class schedule, the type of car I drove, and even what number my locker was. I read notes that she made about conversations we had where she noted things I liked.

I was baffled as to why she would do something like this. My mind was spinning a million miles a minute.

There were pictures that were taken of me, they looked like rejects from the yearbook, but somehow she got them. She had my practice schedule and how often I went to the weight room to workout. It was clear to me that she really was into me, for quite some time.

I then remembered what she said that night, at the diner, how she had liked me for over a year. Another glance at the book and it was evident that is was much more than simply liking me, in fact, it bordered on obsessive. My heart raced and I was a little uncertain how to take it all in.

"Say something, anything," pleaded Bella. I looked up to see her lip quivering and her eyes shining. She was sitting on the floor, back resting on her bed and her arms wrapped around her legs. She looked so small and scared sitting like that.

"Did you do all this?" I gestured to the book sitting on my lap. She just nodded her head. "Why?"

I watched as several emotions played over her face: fear, sadness, longing, love, and finally resignation. That one confused me. What did she have to feel resigned to? It just didn't make sense. Bella closed her eyes and took several deep calming breaths before she blew out the last one.

Then she began her tale and I was riveted.

"It was junior year and the first game of the season. Alice and Rose dragged me there; I didn't want to be there. It was hockey and I wasn't a sports girl." She gave me a pointed look and I scratched my head, thoughts buzzing but I couldn't make them make sense.

"I was watching you guys warm up and that's when I saw you. You had taken your helmet off and I just stared. You were so fucking hot." She chuckled as she got lost in the memories. I couldn't help but smile at her. "It was the first time I got aroused. There was something about you that made my body wake up." Her face colored with the most delicious blush and I felt a swell of pride for making her feel like that.

My mind however was busy processing just how deep she was into me. It was an obsessive kind of fascination and part of me was a little nervous about it and maybe a little freaked out. I've never known someone who was obsessed with me. Unless you counted the hockey whores, which I didn't.

She took a few more breaths before she turned her eyes on me. I saw how much she loved me in her gaze and I was trapped in the warmth of her eyes. "You fascinated me Edward. I was confounded by you. Who was this guy who made me feel all squirmy for the first time in my life? So I decided to learn more about you." She bit her lips and continued her tale of following in me in school, learning my schedule, watching me at lunch, and how she would talk to Rose and Alice about me.

I was reeling. She was basically admitting to me that she got a bit obsessed with me. Suddenly, I had a moment of clarity.

"Did you learn about hockey for me?" I watched her carefully.

"Yes. I wanted to learn more about the sport in the hopes that I could impress you with my knowledge." Her words were just faint whispers.

"And that included the Blackhawks?" I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice. I wasn't sure if I was pissed or flattered when she nodded her head.

"When I learned they were your favorite team I learned all I could. But I do want to say in my defense, if I'm allowed to have one, I grew to love the sport, truly. My enthusiasm for the sport was never fake."

I could see the honesty in her eyes. I breathed a sigh that not everything was based on her obsession.

"Wait, just a minute." A troubling thought was brewing and I needed time to let it marinate. "Did you take shit from me? Like a shirt?" I turned my wide eyes onto her.

Her only reply was a nod and then a few tears fell from her eyes and coursed trails down her cheeks. "I never thought I would ever get close to you. But then one day I wondered what in the hell was I doing following you around. I knew it was pathetic." Her voice was pleading for me to understand and I was trying to.

Everything that I thought I knew about her turned out not to be exactly what I thought and I wasn't sure how to interpret it all. To learn that the woman you loved was obsessed about you because she found you sexy and made her all horny was one thing. But to discover she took it to another level where she did anything she could to learn more about you, including learn about the game you love, well that was something else.

"So I sat and examined my feelings about you. Somewhere, I'm not sure where, the lustful feelings turned toward genuine feelings. Then I saw you with Lucy and how sweet you were to her." She shook her head and then gave me a soft smile, the one that got me right in the chest. "I saw that and I was lost, Edward. You had me right then and there. I wanted you, not as your friend but as more."

Her voice pleaded for me to understand and I was starting to. The passion and love in her voice as she told me when her obsession turned into something more made me realize that it wasn't important how we got where we were. Just that the feelings we had were true and honest.

She stood up and paced. "I tried for months to tell you how much I liked you but it never worked. Something always got in the way, like fire alarms-"

"That's what you were saying to me? That you liked me?" She nodded and I couldn't help but smile. I walked over to her and pulled her in close. "You do realize that you're a bit crazy. I can't believe you did all this for me."

Her warm hands frame my face and her eyes were filled with love. "I'd do it all over again if it meant in the end that I got to be with you. I love you, Edward Cullen, don't you ever doubt me on that." Her eyes roamed all over my face.

"I don't, I won't doubt it or you. But you have to admit you toed the insanity line." I chuckled to let her know I was making a joke out of all this.

She blushed and giggled. "Yeah, I know. But hey, I was a girl newly in lust and with tingly girl parts, what was I supposed to do?"

We both laughed before I captured her lips in a sweet, but scorching kiss. My hands were on her ass and I was ready to haul her to her bed when Carmen came back.

"Oops, sorry guys. You really need to manage your time better." She winked and Bella threw a pillow that was nearby.

"Shut it."

We kissed again and the "Edward Book" was forgotten.

Once hockey practice started, life got crazy. Like seriously crazy. I was having on ice practices three times per week, and then there were two days filled with dry land training, strength and conditioning, and team meetings. I barely had time to get homework done. I fell into bed each night exhausted and my body screaming at me for relief.

But through it all Bella was an angel. There were times when she would show up with food that she smuggled out of the dining hall because I missed dinner. She made sure I had clean clothes as I would forget to do laundry. She gave the most amazing rub downs when my muscles were full of knots and tension.

I think at times she was over compensating for the "book" as we came to call it. She was trying to prove to me that she loved me and wanted to be with me. But there was never any doubt in my mind that she loved me. Even before I found out about the book's existence, she was always taking care of me. In fact, with all the attention she was heaping on me, I felt that I wasn't being the best boyfriend.

So with her birthday a day away, I managed to carve out some time for us to spend it alone. I arranged what I hoped would be a romantic night for just the two of us. The night of her birthday, I picked up Bella and we hopped on the light rail to a Mexican restaurant, Lime, that I heard served kick-ass food.

We ate our fill of chips and salsa, fajitas, and enchilada's. Over a desert of shared fried ice cream, I gave Bella her gift. There was another charm to add to her bracelet, a book, which made Bella laugh. I tried to pass it off that it referenced our shared college experience, but I couldn't keep a straight face. But once I slid the other gift to her and she saw the delicate heart necklace, the laughter stopped.

"It's beautiful, Edward." It was a silver heart that held three small diamonds on the curve of the heart and a small sapphire dangled from the center. "Thank you, I love it." I helped her clasp it around her neck. I paid the check and dragged her outside.

"One last thing to make the night perfect," I whispered as I hugged her close. We walked a short distance to where a horse drawn carriage awaited.

"Ohh, Edward!" exclaimed Bella. She kissed me soundly until the driver cleared his throat. I helped her up and placed the small lap blanket around us. I reached over to the seat across from us to pick up the six roses lying there. I give the bunch to Bella who had tears in her eyes.

"Happy Birthday, Bella. I love you."

**BPOV**

_Lifehouse- All In_

_All night staring at the ceiling  
counting for minutes I've been feeling this way  
So far away and so alone_

_But you know it's alright_  
_I came to my senses_  
_Letting go of my defenses_  
_There's no way I'm giving up this time_  
_Yeah, you know I'm right here_  
_I'm not losing you this time_

_And I'm all in, nothing left to hide_  
_I've fallen harder than a landslide_  
_I spent a week away from you last night_  
_And now I'm calling, calling out your name_  
_Even if I lose the game, I'm all in_  
_I'm all in tonight, yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life_

"What do you mean you won't be there?" his voice was low, but I could hear the fury lacing each word. His green eyes flashed with pain and my chest constricted at the sight.

I hated disappointing him, but it was out of my hands. "I'm so fucking sorry Edward. That was the only night that everyone could make it to the group meeting. Believe me, I tried to get them to pick any other night." I begged for him to understand.

"It's the first home game of the season! My fucking first college game ever. I need you there." The hurt I heard in his voice was my undoing, and I burst into tears.

"I know baby, I do. I want to be there. But this stupid project counts for fifty percent of my grade." I clutched onto his shirt to keep him close to me. "They told me they will try and get done fast, but we need to have this meeting. It's due in two weeks." Tears coursed down my cheeks as I looked him.

His jaw was clenched tight and I could see the small tick of his cheek. He was pissed. I didn't blame him, I was also pissed. After all the support and encouragement I had given him. I promised him I would be there, but that was all blown to hell on Monday afternoon after my Intro to Psychology class.

"Yeah, I hear ya. Your grade is important." He pushed my hands off him and stormed out of my room. The sound of the door slamming shut made me flinch. I fell to the floor as tears coursed down my face. The rest of the week was even more painful. I barely saw him and when I did, all I saw was anger, pain, and sadness.

On Wednesday I begged our team leader, Tia, to move the time up just a little bit.

"Please Tia, I need to be there for him. I promised him I would be there." I couldn't stop my lip from trembling or the tremor in my voice."

"I understand your plight," she replied with not an ounce of caring in her voice. "But, I don't think it's fair to make special allowances just for one person. I'm sure your boyfriend understands why you have to miss one little game."

At that I had to walk away, so sure I was going to rearrange her face with my fists.

_One little game! HA! Bitch!_

I tried talking to Edward, but he just brushed me off. I felt his mounting tension and anxiety and I didn't want to add to it, so I gave him his space.

So on Friday night I trudged over to JMac and one of their lounge rooms. Everyone was there. Tia called the meeting to order and we got to work. About an hour into the meeting, someone turned on the TV and switched it to the game. My heart dropped when I saw the score, we were down by three at the end of the first period.

But I felt even worse when the commentators just started ripping Edward's playing.

"Cullen, a phenom from the West Coast was hoped to be an immediate contributor to the team. But his less than stellar start to the season and to tonight's game is making many wonder if he is all that was said about him."

"You're exactly right, Bill. Cullen just seemed jumpy, tentative. He didn't display any of the aggressiveness that we touted about him. One would like to hope it was just first game jitters, but it's hard to say. He just didn't look like his head was in the game at all."

I couldn't stand it any longer.

_Fuck it!_

I'm sorry guys," I said I stood up and began packing my shit. "I can't stay here any longer. Here are my notes on my section and the outline for it. I'm sorry." I pushed them toward Tia who looked furious.

"Where are you going?" asked Fred.

"I have somewhere more important to be." I checked my bag for my student ID and hockey pass as I ran out the room.

I thanked my lucky stars that the arena was about three blocks away. I ran the entire way there. When I arrived, I was panting and sweaty, but I made it. When I arrived at my seat, the team had just taken to the ice and was skating around.

Without thinking I ran down so that I was at ice level. I searched the ice for Edward and when I spotted him skating closer, I pounded on the glass trying to get his attention. I was screaming his name, which was worthless as the band was playing and I was sure he couldn't hear me. People were staring but I couldn't care less.

But at the last second I must have caught his eye because he turned and his eyes widened in shock just before his face broke out into a breathtaking smile.

I mouthed that I loved him and then made the captain C and held it to my chest. I hoped he understood I was telling him to play smart, like a captain would. He nodded and skated off.

"Show them what you can do, baby. Make me proud," I whispered to him, knowing he would never hear me.

The rest of the night, he was on fire. The passion, joy, and aggressiveness that I had come to expect from him were showcased for the rest of the team and school. He played it smart and cool and when the horn sounded at the end he had helped his team skate to a six- four win, netting himself two assists.

I wasn't conceited enough to believe the change in his playing was due to me. But I would like to hope that knowing I was there helped him keep his head in the game. He knew right then and there, I put him first, no matter what.

**A/N: Hmm I can't wait to hear your thoughts! Ok.. we did not reach 1000 reviews last chapter.. so that outtake is still up for grabs... lucky #1000 gets to pick it.. we are 10 away... cant wait to see who it will be! Also many asked me in reviews last week about how close are we to the end... according to my outline.. there are 7 more chapters outlined.. but I tend to get wordy and I may end up making it longer.. so let's enjoy it the ride...**

**News: My lovely reader MidNight Cougar has an amazing blog (Rob's Attack) and they are doing a year end vote of all the fics that have been recommended on it... Hockeyward is up for best WIP and I would love it if you could take time out to vote: kwiksurveys DOT com/app/showpoll DOT asp?qid=55916&sid=bw70jnzqfz4cubs55916&new=True (just take out the DOT)**

**Ok.. so let me have your words.. would love to see what ya thought of Edward in this one.. I know JoJo757 wasn't too happy with him! See ya next week! *mwah***


	24. Scares, Secrets & Surprises! Oh My!

**A/N: I have to say you all were very united in thinking that Edward was a bit of a douche last chapter! Cut the dude some slack.. he was stressed! LOL... ok.. so he didn't have to be a complete jerk! Good news.. Hockeyward went way over the 1000 review mark.. THANK YOU! I have the best readers ever! The reader who was #1000 was sholtsclaw! She has yet to pick her outtake... but she assures me she is thinking about it!**

**Love like always to Itlnbrt my awesome and lovely beta! To my pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress, fanfichardcore & JoJo757- you ladies rock my world.. seriously.. you do!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... except a UMD hockey sweatshirt..its soo warm! ENJOY! You may want to strap on your seat belt for the next few chapters! *dives into bunker***

Scares, Secrets & Surprises! Oh My!

**BPOV**

_Avril Lavigne Keep Holding on_

_You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in  
No I won't give in_

_Keep holding on_  
_'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_  
_Just stay strong_  
_'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you_  
_There's nothing you could say_  
_Nothing you could do_  
_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_  
_So keep holding on_  
_'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

"Get serious, Edward! Can you really see me doing this as a career?" He's sitting too calmly on my bed, so I got up to pace. I had just gotten back from a meeting with my Intro to Business professor who had spent close to an hour encouraging me to go into Marketing. He felt I had a great grasp on it and the ideas I had come up with during our small marketing unit immensely impressed him.

I had just unloaded everything on Edward who was agreeing with my professor. Didn't he know he was supposed to be on my side?

"Come on, babe. What's really going on in that head of yours? You're way too freaked out for this to be about choosing marketing as a major." He pulled me by my shirt into his solid chest. His warm skin and earthy scent engulfed me. His hands made small circles on my back and after a few moments, I relaxed.

Feeling my body ease its tension, he pulled back and looked at me. "Care to explain what's really going on in there?" He taps my temple before he kisses it.

I huffed one last time before I grumbled, "You'll think I'm being stupid."

He chuckled, but smartly stopped when he saw my exasperated look. Instead, he rubbed my arms and waited patiently for me to speak.

I closed my eyes, unable to look him in the eyes. "It feels all grown up. Like I'm deciding what I'm going to do with the rest of my life and that terrifies me. What if I end up hating it?" I counted to ten in my head before I opened my eyes to see what he was thinking.

What I found floored me. He wasn't laughing or smiling, instead he looked concerned.

"Bella, you are a freshman, if it doesn't suit you, find something else. You were the one who told me that is what you wanted this college experience to be about, a chance to find yourself. Well, go figure out who is Bella Swan."

The fact that he understood me made my heart flutter.

"But obviously your professor saw something in you, a talent for marketing. I say give it a go. At the worst, you learn it's something you hate. At best, you find what you're good at."

His words made sense.

"You're right." I blew out a huge breath, letting some calm infuse into my body. "Let's see what I'd be getting myself into."

We grabbed my laptop off the desk and looked up the marketing major. The classes alone looked daunting, so much accounting, economics, and business courses. I gulped nervously as I looked over the course load.

"Hey, you are already in freshman comp and that's required, along with your Intro to Business class." Edward busied himself writing down the list of classes I'd need to complete before I could request admission into the major. I sat on the bed and wondered if I was way over my head.

A shoulder bump from Edward jolted me back to the present and Edward waving a paper in my face. "Stop over thinking it. Here are the courses you have to take in order to apply for the major. Let's just take it one small step at a time. Okay?"

I nodded and he folded me into his arms. "You'll be fine, Bella."

I snorted. "This coming from the dude who knew he wanted to be the next Gretzky when he was seven." I rolled my eyes at him, and for good measure I stuck my tongue out as well.

He laughed and winked at me. "Hey, I sweated over my major as well."

"Oh, please. It was like for a day and then you were like, this is what I'm gonna do. There was no fear, doubts, or second guessing." I pushed him away from me, but he had me held like a prisoner with his arms holding me like a cage.

He leaned back and pulled me on top of him. "Hey, no mocking me. Plus, you do realize I'm going to school for something I may never use, don't you?"

I paused. He had me there. He was hoping that he'd make it into the NHL. His game development degree was his back up. It would suck for him to put all the time and effort into his degree only for it to be rendered useless. Of course if he makes it to the NHL, there is a good chance he could be making millions of dollars, and he wouldn't need to work a day in his life once his career was over.

I looked at him with my chin on his chest. "You're right. You got the short end of the stick on that. No more whining for me."

"Is that sarcasm I hear, Ms. Swan?" His hands dug into my sides tickling me until I was squirming and rolling off him.

"Okay, okay, it was sarcasm. Either way you get your dream job," I retorted through breathless pants.

"Now, I want my dream girl." With that he rolled me under him and began to kiss me senseless until all thoughts of majors and life plans ceased to be a problem. Over an hour later, when he rolled off and we cooled our sweat-soaked skin, he turned to face me.

"Feeling better, baby?" His finger that was trailing down my arm left goose bumps in its wake.

"Much better." I kissed his chin as well pulled the covers over us.

If there was one part I disliked about being the girlfriend of a Pioneer hockey player it was the away games. They sucked ass. For some of them they would leave real early on Friday and not return until Sunday afternoon. But this weekend they were going to play Anchorage in Alaska, so they had to leave Thursday night.

I was sitting on his bed as he packed his bags trying to keep up a brave front for him. It was going to be our fourth away game series and it never got easier. The first one I was a mess and Carmen had to deal with a blubbery Bella the whole time. She was such a saint to put up with me.

I only got to talk to him a little on Saturday morning before they went to have a team meeting and light practice. I think I spent the whole conversation crying. I felt awful that I put him through that. So the next series, Edward wisely gave me a shirt that he wore to bed a few times. It seemed to help.

When we talked, we actually had a conversation and I managed to save the tears for when we hung up. The third one, Carmen came prepared. I had Edward's yummy smelling shirt, and Carmen had vodka and orange juice. I drank until missing Edward was just like a little buzzing in the back of my mind. I felt numb and it was the best feeling in the world.

That was the weekend we had phone sex for the first time. Or maybe I should say my inebriated self tried to have phone sex. I got into a battle with my bra and well, it won. Plus I could barely hear Edward as he was in the bathroom of his hotel room and was whispering. I kept saying, "What did ya say? I can't hear you." We decided to pretend that call never happened.

"Do you realize how cold it's going to be up there? I mean Alaska is cold, like Siberian cold. You could freeze. Do you have something to keep you warm? Do you have thick socks?"

"Yes, babe, I've got plenty to keep me warm." He sat his bag on the floor and sat next to me on his bed. "Come on, we have many more of these to get through and it breaks my heart to see you so bummed out."

I knew I was acting like a child, it sucked that he had to be gone an extra night. We didn't get our usual night together. We usually spent the Thursday night before away games together. But that week he had a group meeting on Wednesday night and I had an early morning Thursday class so there was no night together. It was making me feel cranky.

"Sorry, baby," I mumbled into his shirt. I looked up at him, trying to show him that I could be a big girl about this all. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."

I pulled him to me to give him a chaste kiss. But the feel of his lips against mine, made my heart lurch and I hummed at his taste. I swiped my tongue over his lower lip and he opened easily. Our tongues danced and twined, as I hummed and moaned into his mouth. His teeth nibbled on my upper lip and then released it with a pop. We were both breathing heavily, and one look at his sparkling eyes, I knew the send-off I could give him.

I crawled down his body, my hands stroking over his body, feeling his muscles and the planes of his chest. I lifted his shirt and kissed the sprinkling of hair that was on his abs. I heard his low hiss as my hand skimmed his still clothed cock.

"Fuck, feels good baby," he moaned.

"Well, this should feel better." In a few smooth moves, I had his cock poking out his boxers and jeans and my mouth was sucking on it like a starving woman. I bathed his shaft with my tongue while my hand snuck into his pants and began to roll and tug on his balls.

Edward was writhing and moaning like a whore and it always made me smile how into sex, especially oral sex, he got. I tasted the saltiness of his pre-come and dipped the tip of my tongue into the slit. I hummed at the taste and the vibrations made Edward thrust his hips up.

I loved the taste and feel of him on my tongue. With my one free hand I started to jack him in time to my sucking and with my other hand still rolling his balls, I knew I was going to make him come in no time. I increased my suction, found that sweet little spot behind his scrotum, and in no time Edward was grunting out, "Babe, I'm gonna come!"

I increased my speed and humming and soon Edward's back arched off the bed.

"Ohh, fuck … yes, feels so good." His hips gave a few wild jerks as he emptied into my mouth. I swallowed as quickly as I could. While I didn't mind if he came in my mouth, I still wasn't all too thrilled with the taste. I pulled off him with a pop and wiped my lips on the back of my hand.

Edward pulled my up his body and I was greeted with a lazy, sexy smile. "You are so fucking amazing baby." He kissed me deeply, his tongue delving into my mouth. I found it hot that he didn't mind the taste of his spunk on my lips. We separated when we needed to breathe and both of us were panting.

"Best sendoff ever." He stared at me, a lone finger tracing my face. His eyes flicked over to the dresser and I watched as it crinkled. I knew what that meant. He turned to face me and before he even spoke, I placed my finger on his lips.

"I know, it's time. Please, let me just remember you as you are." With another quick peck on his lips I ran out his door and up the stairs. I didn't even wait for the elevator. By the time I made it to my room, there was a text waiting for me.

**I love you and will miss you. Call you when I can. E**

I smiled at his words.

_**Love you, too. Play hard for me baby. I'll be watching. B**_

The next night, Carmen and I were camped out in front of our TV. That night's beverage of choice was rum and Coke courtesy of Carmen's boyfriend, Eleazar. I had one of Edward's t-shirts on under the hockey jersey I wore. It was traditional clothing for watching away games. Even, Carmen was into it as she sported a Pioneer sweatshirt she bought at the campus store.

I was on my third drink and it was the middle of the second period. We were in a 1-1 tie with Anchorage which surprised me. Anchorage was always the bottom dweller of the WCHA, they sucked ass all the time. I wasn't paying too much attention to the game as Edward was on the bench. Instead, Carmen was talking to me about a discussion in her Fem Lit class.

"I mean, I swear that dude is only in the class to try and score. He hardly ever reads the shit. So, we get paired up and we have to discuss the book and he looks at us, with this dumb ass grin-"

"Shh," I commanded her while my head whipped to the TV, Edward was back on the ice. "Edward is back." Carmen had learned rather quickly that I was unwilling to multitask while watching him play.

My eyes drank him in as he corralled a loose puck and took it up the side. It was an odd- man rush and things were looking good, and then what I feared the most happened. Edward lost an edge in all the slush along the boards and as he was going down, he was checked hard by an Anchorage player. I watched as his head bounced first off the boards. Then he hit the ice and he never moved.

"Oh, fuck! No,no,no. Get up Edward!" I shouted at the TV. Tears were prickling in my eyes and I felt Carmen move up behind me, her hands on my shoulders. My eyes stayed glued to the TV as the Pioneer trainer was escorted onto the ice by some of Edward's teammates. I cringed every time the TV replayed the hit. It got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore, so I lashed out.

"Stop playing it, please," I screamed at the announcers. They kept throwing around terms like broken neck, back, and paralyzed. I hated it, the tears fell freely, and I did nothing to stop them.

I looked up at Carmen. "He has to be fine, right? I mean, it's not that bad. Why do they keep saying all that awful shit?" I implored her with my eyes. She folded me in her arms and rocked me gently.

"He's still on the ice, they are just giving a worst case scenario, and you know they got to sensationalize it." She smoothed my hair back as we sat in silence watching the screen. The broke for commercial and wordlessly Carmen mixed me another drink.

"Here, it will help, trust me."

When the commercials ended, they showed that Edward had been loaded onto a backboard with a back brace around his neck. The sight sickened me and I wanted to vomit. So I chugged my drink and held out my cup asking for more. Carefully they strapped the board to the ambulance gurney and wheeled him off the ice. His teammates brought his gloves and stick to the bench. When I could no longer see him, I flicked off the TV, no longer having any interest in the game.

I was so lost in my terrifying thoughts that I jumped when my phone rang. I snatched it up to see that it was Esme.

"Esme," I cried.

"I know honey, we are scared as well. Carlisle talked to the team doctor and they are taking him to Providence Medical Center. The doctor is on his way there and will call us when he knows more. All we know was that he was still unconscious when he was taken off the ice."

I sobbed into the phone at this news.

"Ohh sweetie, it will be okay. We have to think positive. He's a strong boy. Okay. Can you do that for me?"

I nodded and then realized she couldn't see me. "Yeah, I can do that," I croaked out. "Please call me as soon as you know something okay? I don't care how late it is; promise me you will call me." I wasn't beyond begging.

"Shh, I will, I promise you. But you need to promise me that you won't jump to conclusions until we know more. There is nothing we can do but hope for the best."

"I promise," I whispered. With a few more words we hung up, and I slumped down on the floor.

A few hours and several shots later I was feeling no pain, in fact I wasn't feeling much at all. I was in that light, floaty, fuzzy feeling you get when you are just a drink shy of knock down drunk. I wanted to stay in that place, it was good, and I had no worries.

"Okay, okay, my turn," slurred Carmen, who like the awesome roommate she was, got drunk right alongside me. "What is the strangest thing you ever did because of a boy?"

Now, if I was sober and had my wits about me, I would have played this smart. As it was, I had copious amounts of tequila in me and I wasn't thinking. At all.

Instead, I blurted out the one thing I swore I would take to the grave.

"I lost my virginity to some guy so that when I got together with Edward, I could skip the pain and just have incredible sex."

I looked up to see Carmen wide-eyed and slack jawed.

"What?" I drawled.

She shook her head and just watching her do that made me dizzy. "You're telling me that you purposely lost your v-card, to some random dude, just so that you could have hot sex with Edward right away?"

When she phrased it like that it did sound kinda crazy. The little nugget of guilt I felt at prom was like a boulder and it weighed me down.

"He wasn't _some_ guy. He was an old friend, classmate in Florida. His name was … Jake ... err no that's not it-"

"You don't even know his _name_?" crowed Carmen and it made my head throb. I threw her a scathing bitch brow.

"Do to know his name it's J-Jared ... no … Jason! His name was Jason!" I jumped up with joy that I remembered. I quickly sat down as the room was starting to spin.

Carmen laughed at me. "Still, don't ya think that was just a smite crazy, using that as your reason to lose your v-card?"

"Well, what about you, Miss High and Mighty, how did you lose your v-card?" I was glaring at her that she had the nerve to judge me.

"I lost it to my boyfriend at the time, his name was Santiago. I was sixteen, and we had been dating for almost a year and half. I thought I loved him."

Hearing the wistfulness in her voice had me hunching further under my boulder of regret. That night with Jason, I looked at it as nothing more as an obstacle, a hindrance to getting where I wanted to end up. But when Edward and I made love, I couldn't help but wonder what it would had been like if I waited for him.

Problem was I wasn't sure if I would trade that night in the locker room for anything. How long would it have taken us to experience something so raw and passionate? So I felt torn between regret and the memory of unforgettable passion. What was a girl to choose?

Luckily I didn't have to choose as my phone chimed with an incoming text.

I squealed when I saw who it was from.

**I'm fine. Major concussion, staying overnight for observation. I love you. E**

"It's from Edward! He's fine, just a major concussion." Tears of happiness and relief coursed down my cheeks. I stared at his words, so glad to know that he was okay. I even hugged my phone to my chest.

"Good to hear, Bella," said Carmen.

I climbed into bed and promptly passed out.

**EPOV**

_James Morrison- Better Man_

_That you are all that I need  
For you, I give my soul to keep  
You see me, love me  
Just the way I am  
For you I am a better man  
I said you are the reason  
For everything that I do  
I'd be lost, so lost, without you_

_Under the stars_  
_At the edge of the sea_  
_There's no one around_  
_No one but you and me_  
_We'd talk for hours_  
_As time drifts away_  
_I could stay here forever_  
_And hold you this way_

My recovery was a bitch. Not only did I miss the next game but over an entire month of games. Once I was released from the hospital in Alaska, I was flown via medical airplane back to Denver. With the injury so recent they needed someone to monitor my vitals in case something went wrong en route.

Once back in Denver, I underwent a battery of new tests and then was finally released to the loving and highly anxious arms of Bella. It broke my heart to see her crying and to know that she had worried so much about me. She had borrowed my roommate's car to bring me back to the dorms.

Once back home I thought things would get better, but they didn't. For at least two weeks after the injury I was plagued with headaches and dizzy spells. I was confined to my bed for the first week home. Bella, bless her soul, took it upon herself to gather all my missed assignments and arranged for me to get the notes I needed to keep up.

Studying was tedious as I could only read for short periods before either fatigue or dizziness hindered me. It was a frustrating time, as I wanted to be on the ice, and I was pissed by my lack of progress. The doctors and physical therapist cautioned me, telling me that I needed to give my brain time to heal from the injury.

While the rational part of my brain understood all this, the part of me that craved being on the ice was mad and going a bit stir crazy. When I finally could walk without getting dizzy, I would join the team for video break down and after a lengthy argument with the team doctor, was allowed to sit on the bench and watch the on ice practices.

The day I was able to hit the weight room and do some light treadmill work, I was ecstatic. Bella was right by my side the entire way, supporting me, letting me vent, and reminding me to follow doctor's orders. I made sure to find small ways to thank her for all she did and continued to do for me.

There was the time that I gave her a hot oil back massage. Her low whimpers and moans of delight as I rubbed and kneaded her tense muscles sent shock waves to my aching cock. That was the night we put the oil to another use as I got to fuck her tits. Don't judge me, plus it was Bella's idea.

Eventually I was able to return to class, and I was actually happy for it. It was nice to be able to get out of my room and out of bed. Hanging with Bella and our friends after class was a welcomed relief from crappy daytime TV.

But the day that I would always remember was January 17th, as it was the day I was able to lace up my skates for the first time in close to six weeks. I wasn't allowed to do anything other than basic skating and shooting drills, but I didn't care. I was on the ice and feeling good.

Every week I underwent cognitive and stress tests to make sure that physical exertion wouldn't bring on headaches or dizziness. When I passed them three weeks in a row, I was allowed back into the weight room and to participate in on-ice drills but with no contact.

I was flying high on being allowed to practice, prior to the injury I loved being on the team. Even though I was consistently on the third line, I was playing. I even played on the second line for a shift or two for a few games and one power play shift. All I wanted was a chance to show my coaches and teammates what I could do, show them why they recruited me.

I worked my ass off in practice, showed up to work out in the weight room, and was diligent about following the trainer's advice. But the injury sidelined me, and I hated that. It made me feel as if I had let the team down and now someone else had the opportunity to showcase what they could do and possibly take my place.

So I pushed and pushed myself to the very limits that I could before the doctor or Bella would remind me that I was doing too much. So when I showed up to practice and saw my normal jersey in my locker instead of the yellow caution jersey for injured players, I nearly wept with joy.

I turned to look for the coach or doctor to make sure this wasn't some cruel joke. When I spotted the coach across the room, I held up the jersey and shouted, "Is this for real?"

He nodded his head. "Doctor gave you the green light after your last neuro exam." My only answer was to smile from ear to ear, slip on the jersey, and head straight to the ice before they could change their mind. I felt a little rusty, but after a few drills under my belt, I relaxed and let my body just do what came naturally, which was play hockey.

My first game back was going to be a home series at the end of January and I was looking forward to it with great expectation, so much so that I took Bella out to celebrate. We went back to Lime, having loved the food and atmosphere from when we were there for Bella's birthday.

We were munching on some nachos after returning from dancing when Bella started to bite her lower lip. I pulled it free from her teeth and pinned her with knowing eyes.

"What's up? Just spill it." I clasped her hands in mine and rubbing it soothingly while I watched her nervous tics. After a few moments of over thinking she finally spoke.

"Um, do you, um mind if I stay in your room for a couple of nights?" Her eyes were downcast as if she was worried I wouldn't say yes.

"Of course. Do you even need to ask?"

She shrugged, but I wasn't letting her off the easily. "Why are you all worried? It's not like I would turn down the chance to sleep next to you." I gave her a sexy wink and she chuckled.

She shrugged again before she spoke. "I guess I worried that you would want some space now that you don't need me to help you out or do things for you."

I tried not to laugh at her preposterous thoughts. Sometimes I never knew where these strange ideas came from.

"Babe," I said and waited for her to look at me before I continued, "I'd much rather spent time with you as equals than to have you play nursemaid. Well, unless you're a naughty nurse, then I could make an exception." I waggled my brows and she erupted into peals of laughter. There was the girl I knew. I kissed her hands before shoving more chips into my mouth.

"Not that I care what the reason is for you staying with me, but why do you?"

"Carmen is having a friend from back home come visit. I thought she could stay in my bed while she was here. She is checking out the college."

"Cool. When is she coming?" I asked.

"I think either tonight or tomorrow," she replied.

"Well, once we are done here, let's go back to your place and get some stuff and then you can just spend tonight with me."

She nodded and we enjoyed the rest of our night.

Back on campus, I was discussing with Bella the reasons why the proposed new divisions for NHL hockey were better than current arrangement when we reached her room. We both heard female voices laughing inside.

"Guess her friend has arrived," commented Bella as she unlocked the door. I followed Bella in and I heard Carmen introducing her friend.

"Oh, Bella, I want you to meet-"

Just then Bella shifted over to the left and I was able to see the friend.

.FUCK!

"Bree?"

**A/N: *waves white flag* Don't kill me! I promise all will be revealed and resolved next chapter... I promise! I can't wait to hear what you have to say! What do you think Bree is doing there? I did some research on concussions... and I'm sure after one like Edward had he would had missed the rest of the season.. but thats the cool thing with FF.. I cant stretch things a little bit! Ok... give me your thoughts! See ya next week! *mwah***


	25. The Trouble With Exes

**A/N: Ok.. ok.. put your pitch forks down! If you are not happy with the result of this chapter.. you can pick them back up! Man.. you were all soo fiesty in your reviews.. I LOVED IT! All your answers will be found in this chapter! I promise!**

**Mucho love to Itlnbrt my beta who kick's my ass and does it with love! To my pre-reading gals: fanfichardcore, JoJo757 and CullensTwiMistress.. love you all... *MWAH* Even you CTM and we know why!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just a Minnesota Wild jersey.. it's soo purdy! Also- panty alert... *winks* ENJOY!**

The Trouble with Exes

**EPOV**

_Taylor Swift- We are Never Ever Getting Back Together_

_Then you come around again and say  
"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me."  
Remember how that lasted for a day?  
I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you."_

_Oooh we called it off again last night_  
_But oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you_

_We are never ever ever getting back together_  
_We are never ever ever getting back together_  
_You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me_  
_But we are never ever ever ever getting back together_

My brain was struggling to comprehend what I saw in the room before me. The one person in the whole fucking world I never ever wanted to see was right in front of me.

"Bree?" I bit out. I saw Bella stiffen and she moved slightly toward me. I had no time to enjoy Bella's show of possessiveness. Not when my only thought was to get her as far away from Bree as possible.

"Get your stuff," I spat to Bella through gritted teeth, I barely flicked my eyes over to see her face full of confusion. "Now, please," I begged, imploring her with my eyes to just move and I'll explain it all later.

"Edward," said Bree and her voice was like nails on a chalkboard, it grated on my nerves. The saccharine sweetness of it slithered down my spine and I couldn't help but shudder in revulsion. I had thought that I was over her, that I had moved on from her and that it was all in the past. But seeing her before me and feeling such turbulent emotions flowing through me, I realized there was so much unresolved.

I wanted to scream and rail against her, unleash the torrent of anger that I was feeling. My pride wanted its pound of flesh but I knew this wasn't the time or place. Instead, I moved my chin just a fraction to the side in acknowledgement and cut her with a glare. Her mouth snapped shut and her hazel eyes widened. She knew I was pissed. My entire body was vibrating with it and all I wanted was to get out of the room. It was too claustrophobic.

I was aware of Carmen who wisely said nothing but she drank in my tension, Bree's shock, and Bella muteness with rapt attention. I was all too certain that Bree would regal her with all the gory details. I cared not if she got them right, but I was certain Bella would make sure she understood my side of the story.

When Bella was an arm's length away, I pulled her toward me and rushed out of the room. There were no goodbyes, no introductions. I was so angry I was panting. I longed to go back to the room and give into the violent ideas streaming through my head. My favorite was where I tore into Bree like one of those vampires Bella always read about and bled her dry.

When at last the elevator opened, I dragged us in and wrapped myself around Bella. I took in deep gulps of her scent, the vanilla and freesia I associated with Bella enveloped me. I needed to know that she was still with me, that she wouldn't run off. It was an irrational feeling but I was unable to control it. My arms wound her tight, fusing our bodies together. No words were spoken and I was sure Bella knew to give me time. I just didn't know how much time I needed.

I did know the elevator ride was too short for my liking. Once more I quickly ushered us out and to my room. I felt sorry for Bella who was practically running to keep up with me. I would have to make this all up to her, but right now was not the time. I was trying my best to keep my mind from running rampant with all kinds of crazy ideas, thoughts, and emotions. But I was slowly losing the battle.

The one lucky thing I had going for me was that Diego was gone on a road trip with the basketball team. I had the room to myself. Once inside the room, I threw Bella's bag to the floor and tumbled us onto my bed. Bella was below me, and I took just a second to drink her in.

Her skin was flushed from the fast paced movements, her chest heaved, and it drew my eyes to her breasts where I could see just the hint of her nipples poking through. Her body felt warm and compliant beneath mine. Her arms were around my neck and her hands played with the fine hairs the nape of my neck. She stared deep into my eyes, trying to make sense of the chaos of the last few minutes.

I was sure she would be confused by what she saw in my eyes. I was full of tumultuous emotions: anger, shock, fear, confusion, and need. I needed Bella in the worst way, but I fought against it. I knew that what I wanted from Bella I had no right to ask, these weren't her demons to fight. But the voices in my head told me that it was the only way to purge the overwhelming feelings coursing through my body.

I could feel my body shaking in restraint, trying to will away the need to claim and possess Bella. But the feel of her warm hand on my face and the soft expression in her eyes that told me she understood, broke the last string that tethered me to my sanity.

Without warning I crashed my lips onto hers. I gave her no chance to prepare or control the situation. I was taking what I needed and she simply acquiesced. I nibbled and sucked on her lips and tongue. I plundered her mouth viciously, tasting the last remnants of spice from tonight's dinner. My hands roamed possessively and relentlessly over her body.

I kneaded and squeezed her tits, I nipped and sucked at her neck, leaving little marks that made the savage beast in me want to roar in appreciation. I tore off her clothes, not caring that my ruthless tugging was causing damage. For once I laid bare her breasts, I attacked them vigorously. I sucked in one puckered tip so deeply into my mouth while my hand was busy pulling and tugging on the other.

All the while Bella clung to me. Her hands caressed every inch of my flesh, imprinting her warmth into my skin. Her nails lightly scrapped my back causing my body to erupt into chills. She panted and writhed below me, as I played her body. Her legs were wound around my waist and she was doing her best to grind her panty covered pussy against my body.

She moaned in protest when I adjusted and shifted my body so she had nothing to grind against. This was my show and only I would be giving her pleasure. My lips and teeth continued the assault on her tits, and they were wet from my mouth and as stiff as they had ever been. Cruelly I blew a warm stream of air over them and Bella keened while thrusting her hips in the air in vain.

I looked up to see her eyes were dilated and face was flushed a deep red. She wordlessly pleaded with me to give her what she wanted. But I wasn't ready to give into her. Instead I scrambled off the bed, stripped off my jeans and boxers and presented her with my rock hard cock.

"Suck me, now," I commanded. There was no hesitation her part as she all but threw herself at me and engulfed my cock in her mouth.

I closed my eyes and got lost in the sensations of her mouth on me. I tried to forget that my worst nightmare come true was only three floors above me. I concentrated on how Bella's tongue traced the contours of my cock and the way the tip slipped into my slit to gather the pre-come, and not the paralyzing fear that I would lose her. I submerged my whole self into the feeling of her warm hand grasping my cock and jacking it.

My hips moved on their own volition as she licked and slurped on my dick as if it was a Popsicle. My eyes rolled back at the sound of her gagging on my cock when I got too enthusiastic in my thrusts. When I felt the familiar tingle in my body and Bella humming around me, I lost it. I didn't even have time to warn Bella as I came fast and hard down her throat. I grunted with each pulse of my cock. With the last spurt, I pulled out of Bella's warm mouth and pushed her back on the bed.

I reached down and wordlessly pulled her panties off her. I spread her legs wide and took in the sight of her perfect pink pussy, glistening and swollen. I looked down on her as I cupped her sex with my hand and bend over her to stare into her eyes.

"This is mine," I whispered before I captured her lips in a kiss and plunged two fingers into her. I swallowed her whimpers and felt it as her back arched and she shoved her hips toward my hand. I finger fucked her furiously, as I kissed the ever living shit out of her.

I knew I was being a caveman, but I couldn't find one iota in me to care. I needed to know that she was mine, that she was with me and she wasn't going to leave me. I wanted to give her no reason to stray like the bitch in her room had done. My mind was fucked, and I was taking it out on Bella.

I felt the walls of her pussy as it started to grasp and suck my fingers in deeper, signaling that she was close to coming. I slowly withdrew my fingers much to Bella's dismay. But she moaned as she watched me lick my fingers clean and then as my tongue replaced them.

Her hands clutched at my hair as she pulled me closer and ground her clit on my face. I traced my name in her folds and stuck my tongue as far in as I could go. I nipped at her swollen folds and scrapped her clit with my teeth. I knew I was doing just enough to keep her on the edge but not enough to tip her over.

"Please, Edward, stop teasing!" she panted out, and I chuckled against her. She undulated her hips wildly in a vain attempt to get me to the places that would send her flying. Feeling like a smug bastard I pulled back and blew air over her. I watched as her pussy twitched and a thin trickle of juices leaked out of her. I dove back in with gusto. I was nothing but lips and teeth as I ate her out.

Above me Bella was thrashing and clutching at the covers while her hips moved franticly. I surrounded her clit with my lips and sucked hard as I slammed my fingers deep into her. That was all she needed as she screamed out.

"Fuck, yes, yes … ohh shit … Edwaaaarrd!" I continued to fuck and suck as she convulsed drawing out her orgasm until her body collapsed onto the bed and shook with small tremors. I kissed my way up her body, tasting the salty sweetness of her skin.

She opened her eyes and gave me a lazy smirk and I couldn't help kiss her hard. She moaned as she tasted herself. She sucked on my tongue and licked my lips clean of her juices. By now my dick had recovered, and I quickly slipped on the condom before I slowly pushed into her. She groaned at my slow intrusion and once I was completed buried in her warmth, wrapped her legs around me.

I held her gaze with mine as I pumped into with long deep strokes. I twined our hands together and drew them over her head and held them there. With my eyes I tried to convey how much I loved her and needed her. I let her see how sorry I was for my caveman needs. In her eyes I saw how she loved me and understood my need to make her mine. Somehow she freed her hands and clasped them behind my neck and pulled me down to her chest. I felt her moist breath on my ear.

"It's okay, Edward, let it go." How she knew what I needed to hear when I wasn't sure myself I'll never know. But I pulled out of her and sat back on my heels as I dragged her up my thighs. This time when I pushed into her, it was shallow and fast, followed by deep and hard thrusts.

Over and over I continued the pattern, shallow and fast then deep and hard. Sweat covered our bodies as I strained to hold out. But the coil in my belly wasn't to be ignored and soon I was pumping wildly. My thumb found her clit and I rubbed it fast which caused her to clamp down on my cock. It was a delicious feeling of being clutched deep inside her; it was like a warm glove.

"Your mine, Bella. Say it!" I needed to hear it.

"Yours, Edward. All yours, no one else's." I felt her hand on my face and there was such tenderness in her eyes that I lost control. I spilled into the condom and felt her pussy spasm around me. The room was filled with our cries as we fell over the cliff together.

When I finally collapsed onto Bella, she held me tight as I whispered and kissed my apologies all over her skin. Her only answer was to hold me tighter and stroke my head. It was at that moment the chaos in my head evaporated and I was left with blissful calmness. My last thought before sleep claimed me was that Bella was my safe harbor.

A few hours I awoke to Bella's hushed whispers.

"I know Carmen, it's just a fucked up situation over all." She paused, listening to her roommate.

"Of course I'm going to tell him. I'm not keeping this from him." Another pause. "I have no clue what he's going to do. I'm gonna go, I don't want to wake him up." I stretched, knowing that there was no way I would be able to go back to sleep.

"Just make sure she doesn't touch my shit or I'm taking it out on you." I smiled at her tone; it was playful with a hint of seriousness. She hung up and turned to face me. Seeing me awake she smiled and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up, Carmen called."

"I gathered that." I scrubbed my hands with my face, wondering if I really wanted to ask the question that was burning in my head. I took several deep breaths and leaned against Bella. She rubbed my back as if she knew what weighed on my mind.

"So, what's the story?" I asked this to the floor but Bella was the one who answered.

She told of how when Bree moved out East, that she ended up at the same school as Carmen. Bree tried out for the cheer squad and Carmen was already a member, they became friends. When it came time for schools, Carmen came out here while Bree did traveling on Daddy's dime. Now, Bree was looking at colleges for the fall and wanted to check out where her friend ended up. Her plan was to be here for about five days, and she was going to check out the campus and classes with Carmen. We also figured out that when Carmen talked about Bree she always called her Baby B, it was a nickname she got from the squad as she was the shortest person on the team.

Bella gave Carmen a brief rundown of the history between her and me. It was not a shocker to me that Carmen told Bella that Bree never mentioned me. I snorted at that. It made sense, I was the guy she fucked around on, I was of no consequence in her new life. But what did surprise me was that Bree wanted to talk to me. I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

But I had to put it out of my mind as I had class and then we had a game tonight. I was in my room as Bella went to take a shower and I pondered about talking to Bree. There wasn't much I wanted to say to her or hear from her. Well, maybe I was curious to discover who dick it was I saw her hoovering. To this day, I still didn't know. It would be nice to know if that was the first time she ever cheated on me or if the rumors were true.

But when Bella came back in looking all clean and fresh, I pushed all thoughts of Bree away. I pulled Bella close to me and inhaled the clean scent of her skin. I placed chaste kisses on the love bites I left on her neck.

"I'm sorry for those." I touched my forehead to hers but my eyes were glued to the marks. Bella placed her hands on my face and pulled her face back. She waited until I was looking at her before she spoke.

"There is no need to be sorry. I understand, Edward, I truly do. To be honest I find them fucking sexy and hot. You needed me last night and you needed to know that I wasn't going to leave you. I love you. I don't want to hear another sorry. You understand?"

Her eyes were stern but soft. She meant what she said. I nodded and then kissed her nose. "I think they are fucking sexy as well." I smirked at her which caused her to laugh.

"Sweep this weekend and you can leave more." She winked and my cock twitched at the thought of marking her more.

"Tease," I called out to her as she swayed her hips out the door. Her sweet laugh was all I got in return.

The games were intense battles against the Minnesota Gophers. Their team was struggling and we took advantage of it. We drove their goalie out of the game in the middle of the second after we scored three goals in two minutes. I got a goal in each game and I split my time between the second and third lines. I even got to play during a penalty kill. Even Coach came up to me after the Saturday game to compliment me on my playing.

I was riding high.

Bella and I decided to go to a party being thrown by a senior on the team. He lived off campus with a few other players so we took a taxi from the arena to the house. It was filled with wall to wall people and as soon as we got there, Bella was swept up by a couple of the other hockey girlfriends. I laughed at her eye roll. She found most of the other girls to be fake and would often mock them when we were alone. Since I knew Bella would be busy for a while, I went in search of a couple of teammates, and I found them by the keg. I couldn't drink as I was underage and signed a contract stating that, so I was handed a can of cola.

The night was fun. I really enjoyed hanging with the guys and Bella was willing to put up the girls to keep the peace. It was the first time in a long time I didn't think of Bree and I was grateful. I was trying to find Bella to see if she needed rescuing when I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, my night went to shit.

"What do you want?"

"Just a chance to talk. Please, Edward," she pled.

I snorted mirthlessly, "Do we even have anything to say to each other?" I pinned her with a steely glare. "I figured seeing that dick rammed down your throat would say all we needed to say." I knew it was a low blow, but she deserved it. As much as I wanted to know the truth, I just wasn't ready to lay myself bare like that. I didn't want her to think for one moment that I gave a damn about her, that I even thought about her.

"Not here," she hissed.

The fact that she wasn't willing to rehash our shit in public appeased my pride. I figured if she was so willing to talk, maybe I could lay to rest the emotions that she had invoked since she arrived.

"Fine." I walked away to find us some place quiet. There was a room down the hall that belonged to a teammate, I prayed he wouldn't care I was using it. She came in the room and shut the door. I wasn't stupid, and I reached behind her and cracked it open.

"Speak," I barked out and folded my arms across my chest.

She pouted and I rolled my eyes at her obvious ploy. I held my silence and just looked at her. It was hard to find what attracted me to her. She was too perfect, too done up. Her make-up was caked on and her hair was hard and crunchy looking. Her perfume was heavy and made me gag. There was nothing soft, or natural about her. It was at that moment when a sudden epiphany hit. It didn't really matter what she had to say to me. I never loved her. Bella, she was the one I loved, she was the one who made me happier than I had ever been in my life.

"You don't need to be so mean, Edward," she replied in a low raspy voice. I raised my brow at her. She huffed. "I wanted us to talk. We never got a chance to talk when everything went down." She waved a dismissive hand as if the reason for our break-up was nothing.

I snorted and shook my head. "You want to talk?" She nodded. I smiled at her. "Fine, let's talk. Care to tell me who's dick you were slurping on. I hope you'll forgive me for not looking up and seeing his face. Seeing you on your knees was more than I wanted to see." It felt good to release all my pent up anger and hurt.

Bree shuffled awkwardly and took a few steps back; I took a few steps toward her and continued on. "If we are talking let's talk about the rumors that were going around." Her eyes widened at my mention of them. "Oh that's right, I knew all about them. Hell, I even had a few guys tell me they saw you fucking around on me. They were smart enough not to name names. But hey, you want to talk, so let's talk about the others." I was panting from the anger coursing through me and Bree had the gall to stand there as if she had no clue what I was talking about.

I walked away from her, not wanting to be near her. "Come on, Bree. You wanted to talk, so talk. Tell me, I want to know. I think after all this time you could tell me. I don't care how many there were or who they were. You mean nothing to me. I've got myself a real woman."

Her eyes narrowed at that and her whole face turned hard.

"I was blowing Mike," she spat out with a smug look. I laughed at her.

"Meh, you're loss." I shrugged my shoulders at her. I really could care less that it was Mike. I no longer had any interest in knowing the names of the other guys. Just her simple admittance that she had cheated was fine by me. She fucked everything up and I was happy to have moved on from it all.

"He wasn't the only one. There were others." Now she was just trying to hurt me and the funny thing, I didn't feel a thing. I knew what it meant to really love and care for someone. I knew deep in my heart that Bella would never fuck around on me. What I had with Bree was lust. There was no real affection and for damn sure I never loved her.

"Tell me something I haven't already figured was true." I rolled my eyes at her for good measure.

Seeing as I wasn't reacting to her not so new news, she changed gears. She smiled at me in what I thought she meant to be seductive, but it did nothing for me. She walked over to me and trailed a hand from my arm up to my shoulder. When she tried to touch my face I batted her hand away.

"Don't be like that, Edward. We were good once, we could be again."

I scoffed at her. "You really think I would want to be with you after you admitted to cheating on me? Plus, I'm very happily taken, unlike you, I don't cheat.

"That little mousey thing? She's nothing. I know you. I know how to please you. I was a girl back then. I didn't realize how much I cared for you. Those other guys were just play things. But, you were the one I really wanted." Bree leaned up against me, her tits squished into my chest. She was running her hands up and down my chest and I was frozen.

She was fucking crazy to think I'd take her back and I was ready to tell her so when she moved on me. She must have taken my silence as agreement because she grasped my head and forced it down, she licked her lips and whispered, "Let me remind you how good I can be."

I tried to pull back but she had fistfuls of hair. I felt her breath on my face and squirmed. But we had somehow backed into a corner and I had little room to maneuver.

_HELP! _I screamed in my head.

**BPOV**

_Gretchen Wilson- Homewrecker_

_I'm sure you waited for a long, long time  
To find a man like mine  
But honey you're too late  
So before you go and make your move  
Maybe me and you should get a few things straight  
There's two ways we can do this  
I'll let you decide  
You can take it somewhere else or we can take it outside you little_

_Homewrecker  
I know what you're doin'  
You think you're gonna ruin what I got, But you're not  
Yeah you little go getter  
I'll teach you a lesson  
If you get to messin' with my man  
You don't stand a chance  
No, you're just a homewrecker_

The party was in full swing and I was surrounded by the girlfriend brigade. Most of them I could barely tolerate. They were so fake and all about trying to ride the players coattails to the NHL and living a life of luxury. Little did they know that the chances of a college player being drafted were real slim. A majority of college players ended up in the minors with hundreds of others trying to get noticed and big league call up. But for Edward's sake, I played nicey-nice with them. I laughed at their stupid jokes and pretended to give a rat's ass when they talked fashion.

There were just a few of them I liked, both of them girlfriends of freshman players. One was Linda, a soft spoken girl who had been dating her player for like three months. The other was a brash, but funny girl named Deborah. She met her player in a Biology class, and he almost set her hair on fire. Somehow love sparked instead and they had been inseparable. The three of us tended to stick together at parties like this.

We were in a corner talking and people watching when Deborah reached over to shout in my ear.

"Who's the chick with Edward?" She pointed over across the room to where Edward was walking away and a girl following behind.

I narrowed my eyes, not for one minute believing that he was doing anything nefarious. My thoughts were confirmed when the chick looked in my direction and I saw it was Bree. Now, I trusted her about as far as I could throw her.

"That would be his ex." My tone left no one wondering how I felt on the matter.

"What is she doing here?" asked Linda.

I quickly told them the whole sordid tale while keeping one eye on the room they had gone into. My spidey sense was tingling and I hated it. My heart told me I could trust Edward, that I did trust him with every fiber of my being. Bree was a whole other issue and my gut was churning, telling me she was as trustworthy as a rusty knife.

"Damn, she has some nerve trying to be alone with him," stated Linda, and I gave her a terse nod.

"What the fuck you doing sitting here? Go and make sure she keeps her paws off your man," prodded Deborah. I chewed on my lip.

"I don't want Edward to think I don't trust him." Both girls scoffed.

"Girl, he knows you trust him. The hoochie momma, that's something else." I laughed at Linda, but Deborah nodded her head furiously.

They both pushed on me to get moving. My heart warred with my gut for a few moments before my gut won out. I looked back at them both to see them smiling with glee.

"Go get your man," hooted Deborah.

"If you hear a loud noise, promise me you'll help me hide the body?"

"Damn straight," answered Linda. They gave me encouraging smiles before I calmly made my way over to the room.

The party masked any sounds I made. I felt my heart as it pounded fast and furious. The door was cracked just a bit and I thanked my lucky stars for that little piece of luck.

I listened in and heard Edward as he railed on her for cheating and asking her to lay it all out for him. I was astonished when she admitted not only that it was Mike Newton, of all people, she was blowing, but that she had cheated with others.

_What a fucking slut._

But when she turned her slutty claws to Edward I saw red. How could she honestly think he would be with her and her cheating ass? When I heard Edward basically tell her what I was thinking I smiled and was proud of my man.

But then through the crack in the door I saw her skanky hands were all over Edward and I saw red. She tried to make it out that she was better than me and I was livid. I was tired of people thinking that I was nothing, that he was just slumming it with me. I knew how lucky I was to be with him, I didn't need girls like her rubbing it in my face.

I was tired of being discounted and pushed aside. I was going to stand up for my man and myself, consequences be damned.

I slammed open the door. "Get your hands off him before I break them." She had the gall to just look over her shoulder at me.

"If you don't mind, this is a private conversation between old friends."

"I don't give a fuck." I grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her backwards and away from Edward. I swung her toward the bed and she fell onto it. I shook free the few strands of hair I yanked out. "He's my boyfriend you skank." I felt Edward come up behind me and place his hands on my shoulders and give them a little rub.

Bree's eyes narrowed on that little gesture before she turned her beady little eyes on me.

"You won't be able to keep him you know-"

I cut her off before she launch into a tirade I've heard before.

"I could care less what you think. You fucked up your chance big time and he is no longer with you. If I was you I'd leave before I lost all civility and decide to fuck you up." I was breathing hard, adrenaline flowed through me, and I really wanted to just lay a beat down on her.

"Get lost, Bree. You are not wanted. I have nothing more I want to say or hear from you." With that Edward pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. "I love Bella. I'm with Bella. Not you. Keep some dignity and leave."

He gestured to the door and moved us back to give her space.

Her eyes moved rapidly between us and the door as if she was calculating which would be the lesser of two evils; getting a smack down or leaving without the boy. Luckily for her she made the wise choice to leave. As she walked by, I, of course, had to get in the last word, because I'm cool like that.

"If you miss being on your knees I know some guys who would love a blow job." She paused just a moment, her face flushed with anger, before she continued on her way.

When she was out of sight, I slumped back against Edward.

"Are there any other exes I need to be on the lookout for?"

Edward chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "No, I think she is the last one."

"Good, because I'm getting tired of defending our relationship. Can't people just accept we are together or is it just too much to believe?" I felt the tears as they welled up in my eyes.

Edward gently turned me around and wiped away the few traitor tears that escaped. "I don't care about them, baby. I love you and that is all we need to know."

"I love you, too Edward."

He pulled me close and I nestled into his chest and hoped that we would remain drama free.

**A/N: See? All is well! Bella got rough with Bree, Edward got to unleash his anger, we even got a lemon! All for you! I hope you enjoyed the songs... they went soo perfectly.. and with the title which sounded like a country song.. it all worked!**

**I can't wait to hear your thoughts! Until next week... *mwah***


	26. Memorable Moments

**A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! It's still Tuesday where I am... so... I'm not late at all! I have to say... you guys reactions to the last chapter BLEW MY FRICKING MIND! They had me smiling all the time! Please read the last A/N important hockeyward infor there!**

**Thanks a million to my awesome team of ladies: Itlnbrt who beta's and helps talk me off my crazy ledges. My pre-readers: fanfichardcore, CullensTwiMistress and JoJo757... you ladies are the bread to my butter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... just a kick ass pair of new slippers... soo toasty warm! ENJOY!**

Memorable Moments

**EPOV**

_Green Day- Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)_

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right._  
_I hope you had the time of your life._

"Keep moving, hustle for those pucks," screamed Coach Connor as we were running a play during practice. My body was tired, sweat was pouring down my back, and I was close to vomiting. When the whistle finally blew, I leaned on the nearest board trying to catch my breath. One of the student managers came to me with a bottle of water and I immediately took it from him. I doused half of it on my head and the other half in my mouth.

"Huddle up, boys," shouted coach. On weary legs I pushed off and headed to center ice where the rest of the team was gathered. "Ok, we are playing the Gophers tomorrow boys. They surged the last part of the season and dominated in their playoff game. They are fast, aggressive, and the goalie has been on fire lately. We need to play our game, set the tempo, and puck control will be the key."

We listened intently as Coach Connor laid out our opponent. We had played the Gophers twice in the regular season and beat them both times, but that was before they turned their season around. They were one of the hottest teams in college hockey. Not only did they earn an impressive sweep in the opening rounds of playoffs, they also won six of their last eight games and tied the other two.

"Hit the showers, get food, and rest. We have a big day tomorrow." You could hear the relief at those words as we trudged toward the locker room. When I finally made it into the shower I closed my eyes and thought over the last few crazy weeks.

After the showdown with Bree, she left Denver that night. Carmen fell over herself in apology. Poor Bella had a hell of a time convincing her that we held no ill feelings toward her, just Bree. Once she heard the whole story, including Bree's time in Forks, Carmen was surprised that she was like that. Needless to say after that, her relationship was strained, at best, with Bree. Neither Bella nor I were too heart-broken over that.

But the peace we longed for, that her presence had disturbed, wasn't to be had. We had a new set of classes and hockey was heating up. The team held a constant position at number 3 in the WCHA. I had hoped that as the season went on, I would get used to the craziness of college hockey, but it eluded me. I always felt as if I was rushing around and playing catch-up.

The only place I found peace was on the ice. Early in the season, I was spending time between the third and second lines consistently and was a permanent fixture on the power play. But by the end I was second in scoring for rookies and I lost out on Rookie of the Year honors by just three votes.

I would always remember how pissed off Bella was that I lost. She was cussing up a storm and wanted to write a scathing email to those that voted against me demanding to know how they could be so idiotic. It took lots of rum and one intense night of sex but I think I calmed her down. Or at least I got her so worn out all she wanted to do was sleep.

So there we were, in St. Paul for the WCHA Final Five playoffs. The play-in game was last night and North Dakota beat out Wisconsin and will play UMD tomorrow while we play the Gophers. The winners of the games tomorrow would play in the Championship game, be declared the WCHA Final Five Champ, and hold the Broadmoor Trophy up high.

I was fucking stoked!

Even better was not only was Bella here in Minnesota, but my parents were as well. When they heard that Bella wasn't able to afford to come, they paid for her ticket and refused to allow her to thank them. It was their way of saying thanks to her for being there for me the entire season. My parents felt bad that they couldn't come see every game. They only made it to one home game series.

When I was done with my shower, I headed over to the trainer's table for her to not only do a neuro check on me, but look over my ankles. They had been giving me trouble in the last few weeks. Coach was worried about possible stress fractures, but so far they held up. I could only pray that they held up for a few more weeks.

"How's the head," asked Dawn, the assistant trainer. She shined a light in my eyes and asked me inane memory questions.

"No headaches or dizziness, I'm perfectly fine." I winked at her and she laughed.

"Are you looking to change majors, Cullen, perhaps Sports Medicine?" She tested my reflexes and grasp strength.

I shook my head. "Nope, I like the world of computers."

"Well then leave it to me to declare you fit. Now, stick out your tongue," she ordered.

"With pleasure." I stuck my tongue out at her. Her only response was to laugh and slap me on my shoulder.

"Everything looks good. Let's check the ankles."

She flexed my ankle one way and then the other before having me roll it in one direction before I reversed the motion. She felt the muscles and tendons in the ankle checking for signs of tenderness or inflammation.

"How did they feel today," she asked as she wiggled my toes.

"Good. Stops and starts were crisp. I felt no pain or soreness."

"Good news. Things look good. We will keep taping them to give you the added support. At the end of the season we will run another x-ray series to double check for fractures." She smiled as me as she helped me off the table.

"Let's hope the season doesn't end for another couple of weeks," I called out as I left.

Once free of the room, I grabbed my bag and headed toward the exit and the waiting bus. I took my phone out and texted Bella.

**On my way to the hotel. Miss you.**

She must have had her phone in her hand as her response was immediate.

_**YAY! Can't wait. Will you have free time?**_

As cool as it was to have her here, our time together was limited. I knew she understood, but I still felt bad. Luckily she and my mom got along and they have been dragging my dad around everywhere. I turned around in my seat to see Caleb, a junior and fellow forward, sitting behind me.

"Dude, do we have free time today?"

He looked up at me and nodded. "Yeah, just remember that we have curfew. Need to be in our rooms by 10 PM."

"Gotcha," I replied and fired off a text to Bella.

**Yes, but have 10 pm curfew. What ya want to do?**

Her reply took a while, so I was sure she was weighing the options available to us.

_**The mall?! Please? *pouty face***_

I groaned and scrubbed my face. She couldn't be serious, was she?

"Trouble in paradise, Cullen?" joked Caleb.

"Bella wants to go to the Mall of America." I banged my head against the seat.

"What's the big deal? It's kinda cool."

"She's already been there twice. How much more could she have to see?"

Caleb chuckled, "Suck it up. Do I need to remind you that you decided to bring your girl?"

"You're just jealous I have one. Is your hand getting callouses from all the alone time?" I felt him smack the back of my head. I laughed loudly which pissed him off more.

Returning my focus back onto my phone, I typed out the only appropriate response.

**Sure, sounds like fun. See you soon. Love you! Xo**

"I'd rather use my hand than be as pussy whipped as you are," quipped Caleb who had stuck his head over the seat watching me text Bella.

I shrugged. "That may be, but at least I get pussy."

"Touché" he replied. "Ya sure she doesn't have a sister, cousin, or friend to spare for me?"

"Nope, sorry man."

He sat back down with a heavy sigh. I felt bad for the guy. He was nice, but he just had the worst luck with girls.

All too soon we were back at the hotel. I brought my bag to my room and when I entered the lobby once more I found Bella waiting for me twirling a set of keys around her finger.

"Hey, babe," she greeted me before mashing our lips together. "Ready? Esme is letting us borrow the car and I'm driving." She winked, but I pouted.

"No fair. I wanted to drive." My parents had rented a sweet Escalade for the weekend and I was itching to drive.

"Do you know where we are going?" asked Bella. She had me there, but I didn't want to tell her that.

"I get to drive home," I called and Bella nodded.

Our time at the Mall of America was better than I thought. We hung out in Nickelodeon Universe and rode the rides. I even played a few of the games and won her small Dora the Explorer doll. We ate dinner at the Rainforest Café and then finished off with a visit to the Aquarium. We hardly went into any shops and for that I was extremely thankful.

When we were back at the hotel, we spent the last hour before my curfew just snuggling and kissing. As much as we both wanted more, I wasn't taking any chances on a freak accident. I didn't want to have to tell my coach I couldn't play because I hurt myself during sex.

"Play hard, baby. I'll be the one yelling the loudest." We kissed softly at the door to my room.

"You know I always do." I kissed her again before I pulled her in for a tight hug. With one last lingering kiss, I watched her walk to the elevator before I slipped into my room. My last thought before sleep claimed me was I would play for her, like I always did.

"I know you're all tired and hurting, but we have another twenty minutes of playtime, boys. This game is far from over. A lot can happen in that time. We need to stick to our game, play smart, and hit hard."

I was listening to coach drone on as I hastily switched out my t-shirt. I didn't ever remember sweating like this before, but I've never played liked this. It was the intermission before the third period and we were ahead by one goal. It had been a hard fought game. Coach wasn't kidding when he said the Gophers were a physical team. I had been knocked all over the place.

I knew that every time I took a hit Bella and my parents would worry, but I felt great. The atmosphere at the Excel Energy Center was intense. It eclipsed what I experienced at State last year. Plus, the idea that I was skating on an NHL rink just blew my fucking mind. I couldn't help but dream of one day skating here as part of an NHL career.

"Let's go boys," yelled coach, interrupting my thoughts. I scrambled to throw my jersey over my clean shirt and pads and walked down the tunnel and out onto the ice. I did a few laps and then took my place on the bench.

"Cullen, go out on two with Caleb." I nodded to let him know I heard him before I sat next to Caleb. Coach had been mixing up lines all night in an attempt to keep the Gophers off balance. The puck dropped and my eyes were riveted to the action on the ice. But a short fifty seconds later, coach was calling for a line change and I was hopping over the boards.

I had played with Caleb a few times so I was fairly familiar with his abilities. We were in our zone trying to set up a push to the Gophers end. I moved from left to right as Caleb skated out behind our net moving from right to left, our third forward, Carl, was hanging back, ready to get the puck.

Caleb sent a quick pass to me as we crossed mid-ice and I flicked it back to Carl. I slowed up until he crossed into the zone then I moved to the other side as Caleb crossed behind me where he took Carl's pass.

Carl set up in front of the net creating a screen while Caleb and I passed the puck. Caleb faked a shot that caused a Gopher to go to his knees to try and block the puck. Instead he flicked it to me and I threw it at the goal. It hit the goalies stick, but he couldn't corral the rebound and Carl batted at it and it hit the pipe.

The loud clang of metal being hit made me swear. The goalie covered up the puck and the whistle was blown. Coach called for a line change, and I skated to the bench.

"I fucking hate the sound of the pipe," grumbled Caleb.

"Me too," I agreed.

The rest of the period was tight, no one team was able to get the momentum and set up any real plays. It was frustrating, and I was certain that Bella would have no nails left by the end of the game. Behind me the coaches were constantly giving suggestions and making adjustments as the game proceeded. I vacillated between a line with Caleb and the third line of mostly sophomores.

"Let's start throwing everything at the net boys. A garbage goal is as good as anything." We all nodded and the next time I was out on the ice, I threw the puck at the net every chance I got. There was about three minutes left when I was back out once more and I was camped out in front of the net.

I could hear the frustrated noises of the goalie and I couldn't help but chuckle. I was battling one of their forwards who tried to clear me from the area when I saw one of our players take a shot. They were more toward my back and I had no time to turn around. Out of pure instinct I moved my stick behind me and felt the puck hit it a second later.

When the goal light when on and the arena erupted in cheers, I turned to look and saw the ref signaling the goal. I was surrounded by my teammates as we celebrated not only adding an insurance goal, but my first ever collegiate playoff goal. As I skated back to the bench, I watched the replay of the goal and thought it looked pretty sweet.

We won that game, so we were headed to the championship game the next night. Now we just needed to wait and see who we would play.

It was weird watching another hockey game knowing that you were going to play the winner the next day. I almost felt as if we were running game film but this one had no rewind or pause button. Watching the game live with the rest of the team was fucking hilarious. Some of the seniors were doing impersonations of coach when he did video break down. I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

During it all, I was texting with Bella who was telling me how she handled the game. When I asked her how many fingernails she had left she sent me a picture of her middle finger, sans nail. I replied with, "one down and nine to go."

The next day dawned too soon and my sore muscles protested. I took a nice soak in the hot tub and followed it up with a nice rub down from one of the trainers. Then another one helped to stretch all the muscles and then a light walk on the treadmill to keep the muscles loose.

By the time we skated on the ice to begin pre-game warm-ups my stomach was full of butterflies. I tried to tell myself that this was just another hockey game, that there was nothing special. But it wasn't working. Everything around me reminded me that this was an important game. That realization was doing nothing to quell the feeling of needing to vomit.

Seeing Caleb stretching out along the boards I skated over to him and began to stretch. "Dude how do you seem so calm? I'm about ready to hurl chunks." I shook my head in disgust.

I heard Caleb chuckle and I growled at him in frustration. "Take it one thing at a time. Right now just focus on your warm-up, just get lost in the routine and repetition of it. When that is over, focus on the next small step."

"Thanks man." I patted him on the back to show my appreciation.

"No problem." He patted me back and we continued with our warm-ups.

Once I put all my focus and concentration on the small, simple things, the nerves I felt slowly dissipated to gentle flutters. Once I felt calmer and more in control, I was able to start thinking of the game and how we were going to win.

We were playing North Dakota who won in overtime against the regular season champs, UMD. It was a stunner that North Dakota beat them. It was the first time all season that they had beaten them, so they were riding high. Coach reminded us that we needed to play smart and to keep up the intensity. North Dakota was the type of team that would pounce on any weakness or mistakes and made you pay.

The first period was fast-paced and a bit sloppy as both teams were busy trying to feel each other out. There were a total of six penalties called, myself included. No one scored in the first, so during the intermission coach berated us about our energy levels and intensity. He reminded us to dig for the pucks, be more aggressive, and keep our heads up.

At the start of the second, North Dakota came out roaring. They were moving the puck well and we were struggling to get them out of our zone. Our goalie made some rather spectacular saves to keep us in the game. But with each second that past and with North Dakota setting the tempo, we grew frustrated and stupid.

Caleb took an unnecessary penalty when he was called for hooking. He was constantly being outplayed by their forwards and resorted to using his stick to hook them. Coach was not pleased and lambasted him right on the bench when his penalty time was over. It didn't help that North Dakota scored on the power play. He then moved Caleb to the third line and put me in his place.

All I could think was, "thanks coach, no pressure at all."

I went out on a line change and lined up for a face off just outside the offensive zone. Corey a junior center took the face-off and won it. He flicked the puck to me and I took it and moved closer to our zone, but stayed in the neutral zone to give us more room to move and set up. Carl was out with us, and I saw that he was pretty open. I chanced a long cross ice pass.

When it connected soundly with his stick I breathed a sigh of relief. He brought it into North Dakota's zone with Corey close behind them. Carl sent it over to Corey and continued deep in the zone while I stayed high and tight to the line. Carl passed it to me and tried to draw a few players to him by making it look like he was going to go low.

Corey kept his feet moving while I skated along the red line. One of the defenders on Corey lost an edge and it gave us just a little room to maneuver. I sent the puck to Corey who threw it at the net. It was deflected but it landed right on Carl's stick and he lifted it up and over the goalies shoulder. Just like that, the game was tied.

The game stayed tied all thru the third period. Neither team had any really decent scoring chances. We were both playing it smart, refusing to give up a penalty that could tip the scales one way or another. So it was with a little dread and relief that the horn sounded signaling the end of regulation. The game would be going into overtime, sudden death overtime. Whoever scored first would win; there would be no second chances.

In the locker room coach mapped out our strategies and I tried to keep my focus on the here and now. I had been involved in overtime games before. But this one held more expectation and excitement. On paper we should be better than North Dakota. We finished three places ahead of them in the regular season and beat them three out of the four times we faced them.

But, this was the playoffs and a whole different ball game. All that mattered was right now, this game, and more importantly, that overtime period. I finally understood the saying of leaving it all on the ice. If I did my absolute best and played my hardest, then at the very least if we lost, I knew I did all I could.

As we stepped out onto the clean ice, the arena was rocking. Almost everyone in attendance was on their feet and I knew Bella would be as well. For the first time in the playoffs, I wished I knew where her seat was, just to look in her direction. But for the moment it was enough to know she was in the building, wearing my jersey.

The first few minutes of the overtime, both sides were cautious; poking and prodding hoping the other would make a mistake. There were very few rushes into offensive zones, and any shots on goal were easily scooped up.

What happened next was something that to this day, was still talked about. About ten minutes had elapsed in the overtime when we got an odd man rush. It was Corey, me and another forward named Liam, who were taking the puck into the offensive zone.

Liam was driving down the left side, Corey the middle, and I was streaking down the right. The two defenders decided to focus on us wingers, leaving the goalie alone with Corey. For whatever reason, Liam held onto the puck, causing the goalie to focus on him. I made a move toward the goal and the player on my ass interfered with me, checking me hard.

I felt myself fall at the same time that I heard someone shoot the puck. When I landed, I skidded into the net and the whistle blew. I heard the ref tell me to get up as they had lost sight of the puck. When I crawled out of the net and stood up the puck fell out of my breezers.

Immediately there was a flurry of action from the refs who all huddled up. The captains hung on the outskirts of them waiting to see what they were discussing. I had by this time skated over to stand by the bench. After several minutes of discussion, the ref went to the scorekeeper box and the two linesmen went to talk to the captains.

As our captain was on his way to talk to coach, it was announced that the last play was under review for a possible goal. The arena erupted in a loud clamor of noise. It was hard to tell if they were excited or pissed off about the announcement. The captain explained to coach that the refs were unsure if it could be considered a goal since they lost sight of the puck, not knowing that somehow it ended up in my pants. It was up to the booth to review the play.

Time seemed to drag on as both teams waited nervously for the official call. The crowd got into the wait by humming the Jeopardy theme song. The video board kept replaying the video over and over, and I had a hard time pinpointing exactly when the puck landed in my pants.

Players got restless and we kept glancing furtively over at the scorekeeper box where the ref was huddled up with a phone in his ear. We skated around to keep limber in case no goal was called and the game had to continue. For just a brief moment or two, I gave in to the idea that it would be considered a goal. It would be a fantastic way to score a game winning goal for us, but a shitty way for North Dakota to lose.

After what seemed to be hours, but in reality was more like several very long minutes, there was movement in the box where the ref was holed up. The arena grew noticeably quieter as everyone watched with baited breath as the ref stepped out of the box. Since this was a televised game, the ref faced the scorekeeper's box and he flipped on his microphone.

"After reviewing the play it was determined that as the puck was shot by number 23 on the White team, number 13 on the White was interfered with and was checked from behind and slid into the net, where the puck was lodged in his breezers. It is a goal."

Half the arena screamed in joy as the other half screamed in outrage. There was a delayed reaction on both teams until I was surrounded by my teammates congratulating me on my goal. We could hear the ref explaining everything to the North Dakota coach who was beyond pissed at the ruling.

Our entire team streamed onto the ice to celebrate our win. Helmets, gloves, and sticks were strewn all over the place as our team mobbed the ice and skated around in joy. Someone from the Final Five was walking on the ice handing out white caps that proclaimed us as the WCHA Final Five Champion. It was all a bit surreal to me. I had a hard time comprehending that it was a goal and that we won, but more importantly, that the goal was accredited to me. I had scored a game winning playoff goal.

After we shook hands with the other team, we watched as our captain accepted the Broadmoor Trophy and brought it over to us. We surrounded it, and I could vaguely hear a multitude of cameras going off as we looked at it. It was one of the oddest trophies I had ever seen. It was literally a bronze replica the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs.

Finally we were ushered to center ice where we huddled up with trophy in the center and took a team photo as Final Five Champions. It was one of the best fucking moments of my life.

**BPOV**

_Edwin McCain- I'll Be_

_And rain falls angry on the tin roof  
As we lie awake in my bed.  
You're my survival, you're my living proof.  
My love is alive and not dead.  
Tell me that we belong together.  
Dress it up with the trappings of love.  
I'll be captivated,  
I'll hang from your lips,  
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

_I'll be your crying shoulder,  
I'll be love's suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older,  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life._

"Did we miss anything?" asked Alice who came barreling down the basement steps at Emmett's house.

"No, chill out. The show doesn't start for another twenty minutes," I replied, as I set down a bowl filled with chips and another with pretzels.

As I turned, Alice ran right to me and hugged me tight. Tears prickled at my eyes but I blinked them back. I hugged her back and it felt so good to be back with my friends. I had missed them so much. Skype, emails, and calls could only do so much.

Jasper gave me a hug before he went in search of Emmett while Alice was busy catching up with Rose.

It was the day after the Final Five and I was back at home in Forks. It was the start of spring break and we were lucky that everyone's coincided on the same week. We had wanted to plan something fun like Panama City or maybe Daytona Beach, but it wasn't possible with Edward's hockey schedule, at least this year. As it was Edward hadn't come home with me.

He was stuck in Minnesota with the rest of the team, but it was for a good reason. With them winning the Final Five Championship, there was a good chance that they would get a spot in the NCAA playoffs. So, he along with the rest of the team, were going to watch the selection show from the hotel. There was even a camera crew from ESPN waiting with them to catch their reaction.

So, the rest of us congregated in Emmett's basement to watch the selection show as well. We were worried that Alice and Jasper were going to miss it as their plane was delayed from New York, but they made it with plenty of time.

"Ohh, look it's Edward's team," shouted Em, and I whipped around to look. I could see Edward in the second row and I smiled at the sight of him. Just then the reporter's words caught my attention.

"Coming up next, we will talk to Edward Cullen, freshman forward with the Denver Pioneers about the now infamous 'breezer goal'." My insides got all gooey at the idea of Edward on national TV.

"I still can't believe he scored a goal with a puck in his pants. Priceless!" I laughed along with Emmett because it was a truly a one in a million goal.

We sat talking and catching up with everyone and what we wanted to do for the remainder of our spring break. It was amazing how we just continued our friendship as if we had been away for a few days not a few months.

When the music came on for ESPN, the talking stopped and we all turned to watch what was happening. A very happy, but shy Edward was standing with a middle aged balding guy. I motioned for someone to turn up the volume so I wouldn't miss a single word.

"This is Fred Jefferson here with Pioneers forward Edward Cullen. Thank you for joining us here today. You are the talk of the hockey world today with that amazing overtime goal last night. How are you handing it all?"

I smiled at Edward's slight blush, but then intently hung on his every word. "Thanks. It's, um been a little surreal with the goal and everything. I'm still having a hard time believing a goal was scored that way. But in the end I'm just, umm happy to contribute to the team and get us a win and a championship." He gave the camera sheepish smile, and I swore my heart skipped a beat.

"That's my baby!" I shouted, which caused everyone to laugh. But then I shushed them as they were still talking.

"So what do you think the chances are that the Pioneers will get a berth to the NCAA playoffs?" questioned the reporter.

"Well, um, it's hard to say, um, Fred. There are some great teams out there. We had a great season, finished well, and we played hard in the Final Five. I hope we get a chance to continue our season."

"What a great non-answer there Eddie boy," joked Emmett. Luckily for Emmett the interview concluded and the selection process started.

We watched as they named the four teams competing in the East Region, then the four for the Northeast. With Denver not being mentioned, it left only eight chances for them to land a spot in the playoffs. They started with the West Region and the number one spot going to Miami-Ohio. If projections held true, Denver was slated to take either a number two or three spot in the Midwest.

"The number three seed for the West Region is the Denver Pioneers." Our room erupted into cheers just as they showed the team getting the news and them high fiving and cheering. I quickly fired off a text to Edward.

**So proud of you baby. Love you!**

I knew he wasn't going to get it anytime soon, but I couldn't contain my excitement. Colorado Springs was the host for the West Region therefore making it possible for me to attend the game. I was fucking stoked.

We partied into the night as we celebrated Edward's success. Around one AM I got a text back from Edward.

_**Thanks for all your support, love. I couldn't do it without you. See you soon.**_

I sighed in contentment before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next day Edward arrived home and we were all there to congratulate him and express our happiness for everything. We hung out in Rose and Jasper's basement playing games, watching movies, and talking. With Edward home our little group finally felt complete.

Two days later, I received a call from a rather hyper Alice. Normally that was nothing out of the ordinary, but when she started speaking so fast that it sounded as if she was speaking in tongues I knew something was up.

"Slow down, pix, I can't understand you. You need to take a few breaths as your speaking."

I heard her take several calm breaths and then she screamed out, "Pack your bags we are going to Seattle to see Maroon 5!" She squealed so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear. When the squealing and hyperventilating stopped, I was able to talk.

"Did you just say we get to go see Maroon 5? As in the sold out show that's tomorrow night?" I dared not to breathe for fear this was all a dream.

"Yes, that is what I said. But, it gets even better, Bells. We get to see it from a suite! Can you fucking believe it?"

"No fucking way!" I cried.

Turned out Alice wasn't kidding. Her dad's office had a suite at Key Arena and his boss gave him eight tickets for the concert as thanks for work on a major client. He gave two tickets to his assistant and the others he gave to Alice. He even booked a suite at a nearby hotel so we had some place to crash after the concert. It was the perfect way to cap off the last few days of our Spring Break.

Since we all would be leaving to go back to school the day after the concert, we decided to stay in Seattle and spend a day in the city. Once we hung up, I was in a frantic rush to get everything packed and ready to go. Esme and Alice's dad were driving us into Seattle and getting us set up in the hotel.

Our room was spectacular. It was a two bedroom suite with a small kitchenette, living area complete with a large flat screen, and two amazing bathrooms. We had an impressive view of the city lights and the waterfront. With three couples and only two rooms there was some major wheeling and dealing going on for room privileges.

Eventually Edward and I won the right to one room after Edward's gentle reminder that he needed a real bed as he still needed to be in top form for the playoffs. The others decided to use a rousing game of rock-paper-scissors. After an accusation of cheating, Rose and Emmett won the room.

The concert was mind-blowing. From the suite you could really see the stage and the band. We danced and sang to every song while us girls drooled over Adam Levine. He was one fine piece of man. But the best moment was when they sang _Never Going to Leave This Bed. _Edward wrapped his arms around me and whispered the lyrics in my ear as we gently swayed from side to side.

It was at that moment when I knew he was it for me. It may sound weird, but I could see our future clearly. It all flashed under my closed eyes as Edward sang in my ear. I saw me in white, Edward playing hockey, and I even saw kids. I knew that we weren't ready for everything I saw at that moment. But I knew our future held a bright promise of many tomorrows.

**A/N: Soo much action! All the hockey terms in here are 100% accurate! My college is in here... UMD (University of Minnesota- Duluth)The Final Five gets played at the Excel Center a lot.. which is also in my hometown! Also, the goal that Edward scored in the North Dakota game actually happened in a NHL game: Minnesota Wild vs Columbus Blue Jackets back in 2006.. it was a kick ass goal... one that is still talked about... *giggles***

**Ok..important hockeyward news... There are now 4 chapters left.. 2 regular chapters and then 2 epis... I was shocked when I realized I was this close to the end.. I'm kinda sad...**

**Lastly.. sholtsclaw picked an OT for me to do and it will the EPOV of his first game that Bella missed some of... she asked to dive into his mind.. so.. I shall!**

**Please give me your thoughts on this one... it was a bit calmer, we found out Carmen knew nothing of Bree's past and Edward and his team got to win the Final Five Championship! WOOP! Until next week... *mwah***


	27. We All Fall Down

**A/N: Happy New Year! We are winding down this story...this is the second to last regular chapter and then there will be 2 epis. It has been quite th ride! These next two chapter will be a bit bumpy.. I just ask that you trust me!**

**To Itlnbrt my beta who helped me think through these last few chapters- thanks girl! To my wonderful pre-readers: JoJo757, fanfichardcore and CullensTwiMistress for their love and support! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... just a love for the game of hockey! ENJOY!**

We All Fall Down

**EPOV**

_Linkin Park- Burn It Down_

_The colors conflicted  
As the flames, climbed into the clouds  
I wanted to fix this  
But couldn't stop from tearing it down  
And you were there at the turn  
Caught in the burning glow  
And I was there at the turn  
Waiting to let you know_

_We're building it up_  
_To break it back down_  
_We're building it up_  
_To burn it down_  
_We can't wait_  
_To burn it to the ground_

If I had thought that the Final Five was intense, it was nothing compared to the NCAA tourney. There was a deeper sense of urgency and intensity that surround all of our practices. The coaches were harping on every little mistake. If you were sluggish they made you do skating drills. If you missed a pass they had you work on passing drills. Even at night my dreams were plagued with plays, drills, and pure exhaustion.

The main focus of the NCAA tourney was to make it to the Frozen Four which was being held in Madison, Wisconsin that year. The tourney started with sixteen teams separated into four regions and four teams per region. To get to the Frozen Four, you needed to win your region. For us that meant we needed to get past UMD. Our coaches pounded into our heads not to take them lightly. They had an off game during the Final Five. But they had a phenomenal regular season and ended up number one in our conference.

We had heard through the grapevine they were pissed because they weren't granted a number one seed. They were number two and that wasn't good enough. They had a desire to show everyone that overlooking them was a bad call. We were surprised to get a number three seed, but would take it.

The West Region was being hosted by Colorado College which was a little more than an hour away from us. Even with it being that close, we had to stay in a hotel the night before. We had the early game and coach wanted us well-rested. Bella, Carmen, and a few of our friends were going to drive that morning to the game.

"Cullen, head here and now," screamed the coach. We were lined up to do shooting drills, and I had spaced out. I was running on fumes. I had never been pushed this hard. I gave myself an internal shake and focused instead on the quick three-on-two drills we were running.

Practice ran for another thirty minutes and when the final whistle blew and coach told us to shower up, I could barely feel my legs. The game was in two days and this was our last full practice. Tomorrow was a final game film meeting and then we were to head out on the bus.

I made it to my room about forty-five minutes later and I collapsed onto my bed. My eyes closed of their own volition and I fell into my first dreamless sleep in days. When I woke up several hours later, I had been covered by a blanket and my shoes had been removed. I looked up and there was Bella at my desk reading one of her business books.

"Hey, did you cover me up?" I asked with a groggy voice.

She looked up from her reading and bestowed me a gentle smile. "Yeah. Diego left for a study group about an hour ago, he said he'll be back after dinner." She closed her book and shuffled over to me. "You were dead to the world so I figured I could get some studying done so I can get ahead. Game day will be a total washout studying wise, and I have a test early next week."

She brushed a wayward lock of hair off my face and scratched the small beard on my jaw. She shook her head and chuckled. I rubbed my hand over my chin and jaw feeling the coarse hair of my beard.

"What? Don't you like it?"

She kept scratching it with her blunt nails and I closed my eyes in contentment. It felt amazing.

"No, not really. I love being able to see your jaw."

I laughed at her forlorn sounding voice.

"Well, the team decided to grow them for playoffs. You know if I make it into the NHL they do this as well. Playoffs there can last over a month." I smiled cheekily at her and she just groaned.

"The things I put up with," she grumbled. "Let's go get some food, Grizzly Adams, I'm hungry." She pulled on my arms and I followed her out laughing at her the entire time.

The next day I was kissing Bella goodbye as the team was going to be leaving soon. I had her wrapped up in my arms and I was rubbing my cheek on hers. She was squirming away and giggling.

"Hold still, I need to rub my good luck charm, hockey superstitions and all."

She chuckled, "Oh, please tell me everyone is wearing clean boxers because that's just nasty."

I nodded. "We all have clean boxers but a few haven't washed their under shirts." She shuddered at the thought. I was glad that she didn't know I hadn't washed my socks. They were the same ones I wore for both Final Five games.

Don't judge hockey players; we have intense superstitions.

"Give me one last kiss, babe, I got to go." She pouted but I just nibbled on her lower lip before I captured both of them in a sweet kiss. I felt her body as it melted into mine and her low hums of satisfaction. My hand slid up to her neck where I held her tight to me. My other arm was around her waist and I pulled her until she was flush against me.

Our tongues danced and swirled around each other and lips tasted and teased. We nipped and sucked at lips and when we finally pulled away, we were panting. Her lips were swollen and her chin was red from whisker burn. I rubbed her cheek with my thumb.

"Play hard," she whispered before she buried her head in my shoulder.

"Always do." I kissed the top of her head as she placed a soft kiss on my neck. She raised her head to look at me and smile. I gave one last kiss on her nose and then I bent down to pick up my bag. "Talk to you soon. Drive safe tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded. "Carmen's driving and she drives like an old lady." We both chuckled, and I gave her hand one last squeeze. She watched as I walked onto the bus and stayed until the bus pulled away.

"We are looking sluggish out there, boys. We need to skate for those loose pucks and limit the number of dump and chases we are doing. This game is far from over. We need to dig deep and find that last bit of strength, determination, desire, and pour it into the next forty minutes of this game."

I could see that Coach was trying his best to pump us up. It was the first intermission and we were down 2-0. UMD was skating all over us; they had energy and passion when they came out on the ice. We were always a step or two behind them. Our playing was lackluster and uninspiring. If we kept playing the way we did we were sure to lose and lose big.

I shook my head to try and find some calm place in me. I knew that my playing wasn't what I knew I was capable of and it pissed me off. I couldn't say what was off or what was affecting my performance. I had slept great last night. My ankles felt great, I had no headaches, and Bella was in the stands. But every time I took to the ice, I just felt as if everything was speeding past me. I couldn't make sense of anything. It was one hell of a time for me to have an off day.

"Focus, drive, desire," chanted Coach as he walked up and down the bench. He had shuffled the lines in the hope of creating some type of spark. One look at the scoreboard told me we desperately needed it. Not only were we down by two goals, but also the shot on goal differential was atrocious. We had a measly eleven to UMD's twenty-two.

I watched the action on the ice, looking, scouring to find just something that would help me crack this team. But I found nothing. They played a solid game. They had good skaters and they never hesitated to shoot the puck. But they also had the drive to prove everyone wrong about them.

Just then, I watched as Carl and Corey were on a two-on-one breakaway. They were passing the puck in an effort to keep the lone defender guessing. When Corey went slightly wide, he took the other player with him. He threw the puck at Carl quickly who then tossed it at the net. The loud reverberating sound of rubber hitting metal resonated in the arena.

The crowd along with our entire bench groaned. That was the kind of night we were having, everything was a near miss. Carl was so frustrated that he slapped the ice with his stick in irritation. I wasn't surprised when it snapped. Coach told me to hit the ice and I hopped over, but not before I heard Carl mumbling under his breath.

"Fucking A! Something has to go right!"

I skated around waiting for the ref to signal when it was time to faceoff. When he blew the whistle, I lined up to the left of our center, Derek. We were in UMD's zone, low circle. I angled my body so that I could push back and give myself some room if the puck was thrown my way. I watched for the drop of the puck out of the corner of my eye.

Derek fought with UMD's center as the ref stood holding puck. The second their sticks settled, he dropped the puck and there was a mad scramble to gain control. Somehow Derek got it and he sent it my way. I took it and moved back and looked to see our other winger was moving back to give us more area to maneuver.

I shifted my weight back to give myself more leverage and stability when I felt the opposing player push me. Luckily with my wide stance, I was able to push back. I tossed the puck cross ice to my winger who was set up high in the zone.

I tried to shake loose the dude that was tailing me but he was all over me and I was starting to lose my cool. I kept moving back and forth, but it was if he could read my mind. I was so busy trying to shake my shadow that I lost sight of the puck and when I did see it, it was too late.

The UMD player on my ass intercepted it and he took off like a shot. I was only a step or two behind him, but he was just out of my reach. So it was in pure desperation that I lifted my stick and hooked his leg. He went down and when the whistle blew, I knew I had been caught.

"Fuck!" I screamed. The linesman came up to me and escorted me to the penalty box. I listened as the two minute penalty was announced. I thanked my lucky stars that a penalty shot wasn't declared. I threw my stick into the corner of the box and cursed once more.

I wanted to rage, but I knew I had no one but myself to blame. One look over at the bench and I knew that coach was less than impressed with my playing. I tried to use the two minutes to calm down and focus. But it was difficult because I could see how we were struggling on the penalty kill. When there was about twenty seconds left UMD netted a power play goal.

My stupid mistake had caused our team to dig itself a deeper hole.

I would like to say that somewhere down the line we put up a fight. But we never could mount a charge that yielded us anything. When the final horn sounded we had lost and lost soundly. We were shut-out in a playoff game. The final score was 5-0. I was on the ice for the fourth goal as well. While the stats wouldn't say the goal was my fault, I felt it was.

The atmosphere in the locker room was beyond somber. Hardly anyone was talking. We were all remotely going through the motions of post-game clean up. Even when coach spoke to us it was low key, it was more about all we accomplished this year. I didn't feel as if I had accomplished much, but that was a moot point.

The bus ride back to campus was a quiet affair. Most of the players stuck headphones in and vegged out. I tried that, but every time I closed my eyes, I replayed all my mistakes. It was something that I've always done after hard losses. The only thing that saved me was Bella's text about drowning sorrows in their room.

**Sounds perfect. There better be enough to get me drunk.**

She sent me a picture of all the booze that would be waiting for us. It was more than enough. I shoved my phone in my pocket, closed my eyes, and prayed for sleep. The ride blurred by, I never slept, just zoned out. When we pulled into the parking lot of the athletic center, I was more than ready to get my drink on.

"Remember players, there will be a final team meeting on Monday night. It is mandatory. Thank you for a great season, boys. We're very proud of you." Coach smiled at us, waved, and exited the bus.

Since I would be back on Monday, I stowed all my shit in my locker in the center and hustled to Bella's room. I heard music and voices and the unmistakable sound of a plastic solo cup. They were the sounds of a promise to forget that shitty day. I knocked on the door and waited for Bella to open it.

When she did, she threw her arms around me and just held me. I closed my eyes and buried my face in the crook of her neck. A deep inhale and I felt my body start to relax. Her hand was running through my hair while the other rubbed my back. I felt the heat of her body surround me and it felt like safety.

"I think there's a bottle with your name on it, Edward," called out Carmen. I looked up from Bella's neck and smiled the first genuine smile in a few hours. Carmen was holding up two rather large and unopened bottles one was rum and the other tequila. She winked when I looked up at her.

"Sweet," I stated, and Bella chuckled.

"Let's go get our drink on baby. We have lots to forget." I nodded at her and hand-in-hand we walked into her room.

"Hey, Edward," said Eleazar.

"What up, E?" I asked as I made my way over to the middle of the room where the booze was sitting. I grabbed the rum and a can of Coke and made myself a drink that was mostly rum with just a little splash of Coke.

"Not much," he replied, "sorry about the game, tough luck."

I simply nodded and held up my drink. "Thanks for getting all this. How much do I owe you?"

He waved me off. I nodded once more and took a huge gulp of my drink. It burned as it went down and my eyes watered. A few more gulps like that and I knew I would be feeling no pain. I couldn't wait for that to happen.

"Well, now that Edward is here, what do we do first?" We looked at Carmen who was holding a deck of cards and _Star Wars. _"You choose."

Behind me I heard Bella snicker and I knew she thought I would go for the movie. So, to throw her off, I tapped the cards.

"Let's play P&A," I said. Bella groaned, and I laughed loudly.

Too many rounds to count later and I was feeling no pain. The horrible game was just a faint memory and I was surrounded by great friends and my loving Bella. I looked over at her to see her and Carmen dancing around to some stupid song on the radio. We were taking a bit of a break before launching into the Star Wars drinking game. I had a feeling we weren't going to make it through the first movie.

I heard Eleazar chuckle next to me as we watched the girls. Their asses swayed, tits jiggled, and their hands waved in the air like they just didn't care. "Like what you see?" I asked as I turned to watch them some more.

"Don't you know it," he replied, as he tried to discreetly adjust himself.

"Yeah," I breathed. Bella threw her head back and laughed. I felt my lips curve up in a smile at the sight of her being so carefree.

"How you feeling? I'm really sorry about the game. I guess there is always next year."

I scowled at him. I didn't want any reminders of earlier. I took another swig out of the bottle of Captain that was between us. To answer I just gave him a curt nod. Images of the game started floating in my head.

_Grrr. Fucking Eleazar!_

"What are you two boys whispering about over there?" asked Carmen as her and Bella giggled looking at us.

"Normal boy stuff," answered Eleazar. "Girls, sex, sports, booze, sex, and girls. In no particular order."

"Fuck yeah!" I echoed and we clinked drinks or in our case bottle to Solo cup.

Of course this got everyone talking about sex.

"So there I am, in the middle of her room, pants around my ankles and my cock still covered by the condom while her dad glared at me!" We all laugh boisterously at Eleazar's story. I wipe tears away and took another swallow. I winced at the burn.

"I still don't think that is the most outrageous thing I've heard," hiccupped Carmen. "Getting caught is kinda a rite of passage."

"So what did you do that was crazier, amorcito?" I watched as Carmen blushed at Eleazar's endearment.

Carmen's black curls shook vigorously, "It wasn't me. It was Bella-boo. She's the wild one?"

I swiveled my head to look into Bella's wide eyes. "What the fuck are you talking about Carmen?" shouted Bella, and I wondered why she was throwing death glares at Carmen.

Carmen tried to push Bella's shoulder, but she missed and fell back against the bed. "You know. That dude you fucked so you weren't a virgin for Edward."

With that statement, you could have heard a pin drop. I looked over at Bella who was as white as a ghost. With my alcohol addled brain it took a few pregnant moments before Carmen's words sank in.

_Dude you fucked … dude you fucked …_

"You did what?" I asked my eyes glued to Bella. But she didn't answer. She looked shell-shocked. Carmen instead replied.

"She lost her v-card so she wouldn't be a virgin for you. She wanted to jump to the good sex." She started walking around thrusting her hips out and making sex noises.

I couldn't concentrate on that. All I could think about was Bella just haphazardly losing her v-card to someone, to some stranger, for me. I couldn't wrap my brain around it. It didn't seem like the Bella I knew. Then, even with the copious amounts of alcohol flowing in my veins, I remembered something she had said when I found the "book".

"_It was the first time I got aroused. There was something about you that made my body wake up."_

She was a virgin when she first saw me at that hockey game. She had confessed that I was the first person she was ever attracted to.

Something wasn't adding up and my brain was slow in processing. I could sense everyone watching me which only added to my mind's befuddlement. But ever so slowly the pieces started to come together and I didn't like the picture it was painting.

I flashed to that night in the locker room. There she had told me she had wanted me for over a year. She repeated it later when we were in the diner. My body remembered the feel of slamming into her for the first time and the lack of a hymen.

_She wasn't a virgin when that happened. So when did she lose it?_

Just the thought of Bella fucking some random dude had me seeing red. I somehow staggered to a standing position. I glanced over at Bella who still looked pale, her small frame was trembling. But all I saw was someone who lied to me.

I opened my mouth several times in an attempt to say something but nothing was happening. I felt the heavy weight of the stares from everyone in the room and it felt suffocating. My mind was a chaotic swirl of anger, confusion, and alcohol. Nothing made sense and it was jumbled. The room felt as if it was closing in on me. I had to get out.

I stumbled to the door.

"Edward, please don't go," she pleaded in a small voice.

For some strange reason the sound of her voice grated on me, like she had some nerve to speak to me. I paused, but never turned around.

"No, just no. I have to get out of here. I need to think. I just need to get away from you."

With the last reserve of my pride, I walked out and slammed the door behind me.

**BPOV**

_Jason Mraz- I Won't Give Up_

_I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up_

_And when you're needing your space_  
_To do some navigating_  
_I'll be here patiently waiting_  
_To see what you find_

_'Cause even the stars they burn_  
_Some even fall to the earth_  
_We've got a lot to learn_  
_God knows we're worth it_  
_No, I won't give up_

The sound of the door slamming shut caused me to flinch. A lone tear leaked out and I scrubbed it away. I looked from Carmen, who was standing there with guilt ridden features, to the door that Edward had walked through.

I was torn between my desire to lash out at Carmen, my need to berate myself for my stupidity, and the urge to run after Edward.

The last option won out and I staggered to the door. The alcohol in my body was making me move slowly and sluggishly. Tears blurred my vision so when I got the door open, I stumbled in the hallway as I headed toward the elevator. I punched the down button repeatedly. Snot was clogging my nose, but I could have cared less. My only thought was to get to Edward.

When the elevator doors opened, I bolted inside and pushed the number three and willed the elevator to move faster. Too many long seconds later, the door opened back up and I ran to Edward's door. I pounded on the door.

"Edward, Edward! Open up baby, please," I begged. When the door stayed shut, I slumped down along it and curled my arms around my legs.

Tears flowed freely and every time I closed my eyes all I could see were Edward's shocked and surprised expressions. I saw what Carmen blurted out hurt him. I was worried he would see me differently. Deep down, I feared he would no longer want me.

It would serve me right if he dropped me. That night with Jason was wrong on so many levels. I knew it the second he left. But I was so blinded to what I thought was right at that moment. Never once did I even consider the idea that giving Edward my virginity would be something special. All I wanted was for things to be great from the start.

I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend from day one. I didn't want to come to him some shy virgin. I wanted to be everything that he deserved. I forgot that maybe he would have wanted to be the one to show me the ropes. That maybe the time spent getting to know each other's bodies would have been good for us. But my stubbornness failed to take into account the bigger picture.

The guilt that had been slowly multiplying crushed me and I broke down in body heaving sobs. I had wrongly given away the one thing that should have belonged to Edward. Instead of that moment being with someone who cared for me, it was tainted by my narrow-mindedness.

Somehow I ended back in my room, I wasn't sure if I made my way there myself or if Carmen found me and helped me back. But when I finally became aware of my surroundings, I had no more tears to cry. My body was suffused with numbness, and I was in shock.

Slowly, thoughts infiltrated my brain, namely the urge to fix this heaping pile of shit. So I resolutely contemplated what I had to do to get Edward back. I loved him too fucking much to roll over and lie there. I was going to fight for my man. I had fought and worked so fucking hard to get us where we were, and one stupid lapse in judgment wasn't going to break us.

If we could survive Bree, we could and would survive this. We had to; there were no other options that were even conceivable to me. But first thing was first, I needed to get up and take a shower. I could smell the alcohol weeping from my pores. Then I was going to take care of some housekeeping.

When I returned to my room, Carmen was sitting at her desk, chewing her nails down to the quick.

"Oh, Bella, fuck girl, I'm so sorry. I was drunk. I didn't mean to!" her voice was rising with each word she spoke and she was bordering on hysteria. I saw how upset she was and it touched my heart.

I raised a hand to get her to stop. When she did, she went back to biting her nails.

"I know you didn't mean to blurt that out there. But, that was supposed to be between you and me. Promise me that you won't breathe another word of this to anyone. I mean _anyone_. Even to Eleazar and Edward. You got it? Forget I even told you." I fixed her with a stern glare and she quickly nodded her head.

"You got it girl. It's deleted from my memory banks." Her head bobbed up and down vigorously.

"Good. 'Cuz I'd hate to have to kill you." I winked to show I was kidding and we both laughed.

With that done, I whipped out my phone and sent a message to Edward.

**Please can we talk? I'll explain everything. B**

**A/N: *looks up* Am I safe? Just trust that I wouldn't take you this far only to throw it down the shitter... okay?**

**The drinking game they play, P&A, stands for Presidents and Assholes... its a great game that can get you drunk fast. Here is a link to the rules:www dot pinkymcdrinky dot com/asshole dot php just remove the dots with real ones. Also.. there really is a Star Wars Drinking Game... Google it.. When I played.. there were only the original 3 movies to play with.. I've never been able to make it thru the 2nd movie!**

**Ok... I've procrastinated enough.. let me know what you thought of this chapter! Until next week when it will be resolved... *mwah***


	28. Picking up the Pieces

**A/N: WOW! Last chapter left many of you divided into 2 camps... I was surprised! Just remember it will all be resolved in this chapter! This is the last regular chapter before 2 epilogues.. which are already written.**

**Love like always goes to my team of mad ladies: Itlnbrt who is a AWESOME beta and my pre-reasers: fanfichardcore, JoJo757 and CullensTwiMistress who wanted me to say she is not Team Bella in this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.. just play with them on the rink of fanfiction! ENJOY and *sniff* what's that smell? Lemons?!**

Picking up the Pieces

**EPOV**

_Daughtry- Life After You_

_Last time we talked, the night that I walked  
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind  
I must've been high to say you and I  
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time  
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?  
You know I would die here without you_

_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter_  
_As long as I'm laughing with you_  
_I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after_  
_After the life we've been through_  
_'Cause I know there's no life after you_

I walked with no real destination in mind, just aimless wondering while my mind spun in a million different directions. The cool April night air worked to sober me up and my lack of a decent jacket only helped speed things along. The campus was silent and desolate. But that made sense as it was after 1 AM. Everyone was sleeping. I should be sleeping. No, I should still be with Bella and our friends enjoying a night of drunken fun.

Instead, I was trying in vain to keep images of some nameless asshole fucking Bella out of my head. It was a never-ending mirage of slick bodies intertwined, thrusting, pounding, and rubbing. It was all too fucking much for me. My stomach ached and rolled as it threatened to empty its contents. I vacillated between anger, hurt, and jealousy.

I didn't know how I felt about everything Carmen said. I felt angry that I was just hearing about it, that Bella seemed to use her v-card as a weapon or something. I felt hurt, like I was some prize in a weird obsessive game Bella was playing. But it was the jealousy that confused me. Did I actually feel upset that someone else had the privilege of taking her virginity?

When I became numb from the cold, I somehow found myself back at the dorms. The coward in me peeked around the corner from my room to make sure Bella wasn't hanging about. I knew I couldn't avoid her forever. But I still had no clue how to deal with the pile of shit that was dropped in my lap. All I did know was that I needed to get sober and to do that I had to sleep.

When I was safely ensconced into my room, I stumbled to my bed. The warmth of the room thawed my body and sent the feeling of pins and needles throughout my body. I didn't even bother with undressing; I just fell on top of the bed and wrapped my blanket around me. My last thought was to wonder why I had tears leaking from my eyes.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny, but my entire being felt used and abused. My mouth tasted as if I had eaten cat litter, a circus of tiny midgets were cracking my skull with sledgehammers, my eyes felt as if they were made of plastic, and my heart was heavy and hurting. Wanting to limit the amount of time I spent outside my room in case I ran into Bella before I was ready to see her, I only left to take a shower because I smelled like a stale bottle of booze.

After I felt clean on the outside, I raided Diego's stash of food for breakfast. With the necessities done, all that was left was to decide what to do with all that went down the night before. Trouble was I knew I was ill equipped to deal with it. I needed someone on the outside to give me a perspective I was lacking. So I texted the one person I could count on.

**Really need to Skype. You around? E**

_**Yeah, see you in a few. J**_

Powering down my phone, I had my laptop open and ready to go. Luckily I didn't have too long of a wait until his familiar face filled my screen.

"Wow, you look like shit, Edward. What's wrong?" Jasper's voice allowed a small sliver of calm to wash over me. His voice was filled with concern and in his typical style he cut right to the chase.

I scrubbed my face, took several deep breaths, and then launched into the whole sordid tale. Jasper listened intently, never interrupting unless he needed something clarified. When I was done, I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I blinked furiously to keep them from falling.

"I feel all fucked in the head, Jazz. It's like I don't even know Bella, ya know?" I sighed as I laid my head back and closed my eyes.

There was silence on the other side of the screen and when it all became too much I cracked an eye open and saw him watching me intently.

"What?"

"Let's break it down, okay?" He paused to get my consent so I nodded.

"So the roommate blurted out that Bella lost her v-card to some dude just so when you guys hooked up she would be 'ready' for you?" I cracked a smile when he did the quotations with his fingers.

"That's the gist of it all. Doesn't that sound fucked up?"

When he didn't immediately respond, I grew wary.

"Hmm, depends on how you look at it." He raised his eyebrows at me as if he was waiting for me to interject. But I held back. This was why I called him, to get an outside view on this whole crazy mess.

"One could look at this and feel flattered. Here is girl who is so into you she loses her v-card to have epic sex from the start." He shrugged his shoulders at that statement like it was completely normal.

I didn't agree. "I think it sounds a bit too crazy for me. I mean just cuz you do that, doesn't mean epic sex is guaranteed."

Jasper nodded his head in agreement, but then got a sly look on his face. "But we know that you did get epic sex." He winked. I had to finally cave and spill the beans about the locker room sex to explain the whole v-card thing. "Did you ever stop to think about or realize after that happened that Bella wasn't a virgin?

I paused and tried to think back. It surprised me when I realized that it never occurred to me. "No, not really. I guess I was more focused on the fact that she was there, we had sex, and she wanted to be my girlfriend. It was like Christmas and my birthday rolled into one."

"Even when she told you afterwards that she had liked you for over a year? You still didn't draw a connection?"

Again, I shook my head.

"What about when you found the 'book' and she told you that you were the first person to make her feel aroused, that didn't raise red flags?"

I closed my eyes and thought back to that night so many months ago.

"I was a bit freaked," I replied with my eyes still closed. I could picture the look of horror and shame on Bella's face. Then I attributed her reaction to one of embarrassment for finding the book, but now I was suspicious. Was she worried that I would figure it all out?

"For a brief moment I worried that she was as crazy as the hockey whores. But the way she explained it, it turned to flattery. All I could think of was that she had done all this for me." I took a deep breath, the confession on the tip of my tongue. "I guess all I could think about was how much she was into me. When I found out that I was the first one to make her feel aroused, it stroked my ego."

Jasper's laugh told me he understood how I felt. But then I remembered a small flicker I had back then, like there was a missing connection, but I was too focused on the book.

"You are either thinking hard or getting ready to take a shit. If it's the latter, I'm disconnecting this call."

I shook my head. "No, I was just thinking back to that night. I remember feeling as if I was missing a piece of the puzzle, like something she said didn't add up. I couldn't figure it out, so I dropped it. Now I know it's the fact that she wasn't a virgin when we hooked up even though she admitted to being one when she first saw me play."

I had been looking at a point beyond my computer, but I focused on Jasper's earnest face. "The pieces were all there, Jazz. I was just too blind to see them." Panic and anxiousness flooded my body and I fought to keep calm.

"Maybe you just didn't want to see them. But let's not talk about that right now. I'm still wondering why what you heard bothered you so much. While we can contribute some of it to being drunk and not in a good headspace, there's something more. So what's really bothering you?"

Leave it to Jazz to cut straight to the bullshit. I tried to place the exact reason that it bothered me. But it eluded me. I was certain he could see the panic written all over my face.

"Okay, let's just take a step back. You knew she wasn't a virgin that first night. Didn't she ever ask you about your past?'

"No, she told me she heard from the girls all about me and Bree. It was an unwritten rule we never talked about her. We were just so wrapped up in being together and everything, it never seemed important."

"So it never occurred to either of you to have the 'ex' talk."

I only shook my head.

"You never wondered about Bella's history? For all you knew she could have been the slut of Jacksonville." While my head knew what he meant, my heart wasn't playing games.

"Back off, Jasper. That's not Bella."

"But how could you be sure? You never had the talk. She didn't grow up with us, we don't know her history." He was pressing my buttons and was lucky he was thousands of miles away from me.

"I know her. She wasn't a slut. She isn't! You didn't get to know her like I did. She's sweet, kind, tender, and even a bit shy. She was and is nothing like those skanks. So, drop the fucking subject, Jasper. Are we clear?" My fists were clenching and releasing with such vigor, I felt my nails cutting into my palm.

Jasper held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, I'll back off. Can I ask one more thing?" His eyes were apologetic, so I nodded my consent. "Did some part of you think she was a virgin?"

His question floored me. I had never really given it conscious thought. My mind was either filled with hockey or wondering what was up with Bella. But when I dug deeper, I thought back to how I viewed Bella. I loved her sweetness and gentleness. There was a naturalness that shined from deep inside her. It was in that moment some part of me knew she wasn't a virgin.

"I think on some level, yeah, I knew."

"Do you think you're upset it wasn't you?" His question seemed to come from left field, but deep down, it wasn't too far from the mark.

"Maybe? I just don't know Jazz. Part of me feels like I don't know Bella. The Bella I knew wouldn't be so callous or flippant about something like sex." I sighed.

Jazz was silent as he thought about what he wanted to say. When he did speak, it wasn't what I expected. "You placed her on a pedestal and in your eyes she stumbled from that lofty place."

"Fuck, Jazz, you sound like a shrink. Enjoying your psych classes a little too much?" His only response was to laugh.

"Maybe. Look, it's okay to feel how you're feeling. You can be sad, angry, and even a little disappointed. But I think you're missing one important piece of the puzzle." He paused and I just had to ask.

"What?"

"No matter what happened, it happened_ before_ you were a couple. She was free to do what she wanted, when she wanted."

The truth of his words stung. "I know and it sucks."

He nodded his head in agreement. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I'm not sure, but you gave me lots to think about. Thanks man, I needed this." I gave him a grateful smile.

"Anytime. For what it's worth, Bella is a great girl. She gets you. No one is perfect, no matter how they seem in our eyes. If we love them, we accept them even when the blinders come off."

With a few words of goodbye, my screen went black. I fell back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. My talk with Jasper gave me much to ponder. The first was I knew I was wrong to storm out of Bella's room like that. I was certain she was worried and upset. But before I spoke to her, I needed to wrap my mind around everything that was spinning in my head.

Even though the hockey season was over and I no longer needed to run, I found myself gearing up for one. With music blaring in my ears, I took off down the stairs, using it as a warm-up of sorts. When the cool spring air hit, I started a gentle pace. I concentrated on my form and the rhythm of my feet pounding the sidewalk. When I knew my muscles were loose, I increased my pace.

The thoughts I had in my head moved and jumbled around, trying to find a reason in all the madness. I think what Jasper said about me placing Bella on a pedestal was right. So, when the time came for me to see she was nothing more than an imperfect person, I couldn't handle it.

But I couldn't shake the idea that I wished it was me who had taken her virginity. Which I found to be funny, seeing as it didn't bother me until I heard how she lost it. But the real crux of the matter was that it did happen; it happened before we became an "us", and there was not much I could do about it.

Well, there was something. I could either accept Bella, past and all, or make a big stink out of something neither one of us can change and ruin our relationship. I loved Bella too much make option number two a reality. But I couldn't face her until I had my shit sorted.

So that is what I did as I ran. I went through my thoughts, explored how I felt, and by the end I was calmer. I realized that Bella had a life before I came around. Maybe if things had worked out differently, I would have been gifted her v-card. But I wasn't and she had the right to do with it as she wanted. There was no sense being upset or angry with her or the situation. It was how it was and I needed to accept it.

Just then a perfect song played over my iPod, as I sang along with Paolo Nutini all I could think about was how much I really wanted to rewind the last twenty-four hours.

When I got back to my room and freshly showered, I powered my phone back up and saw Bella's simple text. Seeing that she was still ready to reach out to me, even with the horrible way I treated her, it warmed my heart.

I sent a simple response back.

**Whenever you want. E**

Her reply came fast.

_**Now? B**_

**Sure. Come up. Diego is gone we can have privacy. E**

_**On my way. B**_

I felt lighter and freer just knowing that we were going to put this all behind us. I just wanted things back to the way they were: calm and peaceful.

A few minutes later, I heard Bella's timid knock. When I opened the door, I could see how hard the past day had been on her. She looked tired, worried, and a bit fearful. She was gnawing on her lip and from the look of it, she had been doing it for quite some time.

We stared at each other like we didn't know what to do or say.

"Can I come in?" she finally asked, breaking our silent staring.

"Oh, yeah come in." I stepped back and watched as she hesitantly walked to the middle of the room and just stopped. She looked around and the uncertainty I saw nearly broke my heart. I worried that I had truly fucked things up.

"Umm…" We both started at the same time and then smiled at each other.

"Please, let me go first, Edward." The way she begged tugged at my gut. I could tell it meant so much to her to say what she wanted. I motioned for her to continue and she began to pace and wring her hands.

I sat on my bed to give her space and time to gather her thoughts. Several times, she tried to open her mouth to speak, but then scrunched up her face and then closed her mouth. She looked adorable and I longed to tell her, I just wasn't sure if this was the right time.

When several more agonizing moments had passed and I was ready to tell her I could care less what happened in her past, she started to speak.

"There was a time when I believed the universe was against us." She laughed mirthlessly. "It was the end of our junior year and I finally had the courage to make a move for you. I thought you were giving me signals that you wanted to be more than friends. I felt good about it even though I was freaking the fuck out." She looked up at me and I smiled, not sure if she wanted me to say anything.

Seeing whatever she needed in my eyes, she continued, "But then one day my dad said I had to go to see my mom for three weeks. I was pissed, because that wasn't what I wanted. For whatever reason, those last few weeks at school, I thought you were pulling away and by the time I was on the plane, I was convinced we would never be."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I sensed whatever was going to be said was going to be harder for her say then for me to hear.

"Carmen had it all wrong," she whispered. I looked at her perplexed.

"What?"

"I decided that I needed to come to grips with the fact that we were only going to be friends. It was so bad that I had convinced myself that I wasn't even your type. Florida was going to be the place where I figured out how to let go of the desire. It never worked. I thought of you constantly."

"I'm confused," I told her. I was; I had no idea where she was going with this.

"I didn't sleep with someone to get me ready for you. Instead I did something worse; I slept with someone because he showed me attention." Tears fell down her cheeks. "I was in a bad place and we got to talking and told him I was missing someone back home." She wiped her face and sat down on the floor where she curled into a ball.

"He threw some corny, cheesy lines at me, told me I was beautiful." She stopped her tale and erupted into body heaving sobs.

I couldn't stand there and watch her cry. I walked to where she was sitting and wrapped my arms around her. I could sense where the story was headed. She made a stupid, impulsive choice based off some sleazy dude who was only looking to get laid.

"Baby, it's okay-"

"No, it's not! Carmen had it wrong. Now you think I'm some slut. It wasn't like that." She was clutching onto my shirt like it was her lifeline.

I cupped her face, "I get it. You made a poor choice. It doesn't matter, Bella. That is your past and I want to focus on the future. A future that I hope you're in with me." I stared deep into her eyes as I spoke so she could see the truth of them.

"I love you Bella. That's all that counts." I leaned closer to her, our lips just a hairsbreadth apart. "I love you, Isabella Swan, anything other than that isn't important." Our lips met in a sweet kiss. It was an affirmation that we were going to be just fine.

**BPOV**

_Muse- Endlessly_

_There's a part of me you'll never know  
The only thing I'll never show_

_Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly_  
_Hopelessly I'll give you everything_  
_But I won't give you up_  
_I won't let you down_  
_And I won't leave you falling_  
_If the moment ever comes_

_It's plain to see it's trying to speak_  
_Cherished dreams forever asleep_  
_Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly_  
_Hopelessly I'll give you everything_  
_But I won't give you up_  
_I won't let you down_  
_And I won't leave you falling_  
_If the moment ever comes_

There was a small part of me that hated I was bending the truth of what happened between Jason and I. But there was an even bigger part that knew with absolute conviction Edward wouldn't have been able to handle the truth. He would have looked at me differently and I would have lost him. So, if I had to do this to keep him, then I would.

When we kissed, I could see how it would have played out had I come to Edward a virgin. He would have been gentle, sweet, and attentive. He would have cherished the gift of my virginity. The guilt I felt over Jason was more because I cheated Edward out of what should have belonged to him.

But I chose a different path and I was okay with it. Our relationship started out with passion and raw intensity that I wasn't sure we could have achieved any other way. So while I felt guilty, I looked at the bigger picture and I liked what I saw. Even if I had to sell a bit of my soul to get it.

When Edward pulled away, I could see love shining in his eyes and it warmed my heart. I wanted to show Edward just how much I loved and needed him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I wished I would have waited for you. I love you so much, Edward Cullen. So fucking much it hurts."

His answering smile was all I needed to know that I had made the right choices. I crashed my lips to his and kissed him hard. My hands wound in his hair as I pulled him closer. I wanted to feel him surrounding me. His hands threaded through my hair and held me tight to him.

I molded my body to his as I began to pull his shirt free from his pants. I needed to feel his skin. "Want to feel you, please." I wasn't above begging.

My words must have sparked something because we both were a flurry of motion as we ripped off each other's clothes. When we stood there naked before each other, chests heaving, time slowed. I began to trace the lines of his chest, feeling the way his heart raced beneath my fingers. I moved down over his nipples and when I lightly scraped my nails over them, I watched the shiver race through his body. Lower I went till I felt his abs rippling under the pads of my fingers.

His cock was hard and twitched with every motion of my hands. My thumbs traced his hips and then slowly trailed down the V of his pelvis. His cock bobbed and moved as if beckoning me to it. Edward stood still under my ministrations. His hands were fisted at his sides and his chest moved rapidly with the force of his pants.

"Beautiful," I whispered. Without a thought, I sank to my knees. My hands traced a path from his ankles to his sculpted calves. Edward's head fell back and his body vibrated with restrained desire. I squeezed his knees before I continued upward. His thighs were corded with muscles and I felt the power in them. I kneaded them with my hands and above me Edward groaned.

I looked up at him to see his eyes were dark and blazed with intense desire. Without looking away from his gaze, I grasped his cock by the base. Edward hissed and then it morphed into a moan when I started to stroke up his length. When I reached the tip, my thumb swiped where I felt the moisture that had beaded up. Edward gathered my hair into his hands and I knew what he wanted.

I wrapped my lips around the tip of him and swirled my tongue around the head.

"Fuck, Bella, yes," he hissed out. I placed my hands on his ass and pushed him deeper. He needed no further encouragement and he began to flex his hips driving him deeper into my mouth. I sucked with varying pressures and ran my tongue over his head whenever I could. I felt Edward's desperation as he moved faster and deeper.

"So good, feels so good," he mumbled. I hummed around him and his ground out curse told me he enjoyed that. I loved the sensation of him thrusting wildly, his inhibitions gone as he gave into the moment.

When his movements turned erratic, I knew he was close. I increased my humming and started to scrape my teeth along his length. That must have been all he needed as I felt him swell before the salty blast of his come hit the back of my throat. I swallowed it all down and when he pulled out, I swiped my tongue over his cock one last time.

When I opened my eyes, there was Edward panting and looking satisfied. I felt pride in knowing I could make him lose control. His hands massaged my scalp with strong sure movements and I couldn't help but lean into him and nuzzle his manly scent.

"Come here," he whispered and pulled me up. He pulled me closer, his sparkling eyes locked onto mine. His hands trailed from my head, down my neck where one cupped the nape and the other caressed my cheek.

He rained kisses across my forehead, down the slope of my nose, softly on my closed lids, and sweetly on the apple of my cheeks. He nipped at my lower lip and chin before licking and kissing the skin of my neck. He found the sweet spot behind my ear and felt him suck as his hands wondered to my shoulders. He swept down the column of my neck to the hollow of my collarbone. Wherever his hands went, his mouth followed.

My body erupted in goose bumps with every kiss, suck, and lick. I couldn't contain the moans that flew from my mouth. My legs trembled with the force to hold my body up. Sensing my distress, he picked me up and walked the few steps to his bed. Once he laid me down, he continued his exploration of my body as I had done his.

Thumbs swiped over the tips of my breast, causing the peaks to stiffen. But when the warmth of his mouth suckled them deep, they became impossibly harder. I arched against him, offering him my body to feast upon. My hands roamed over the expanse of his back, feeling muscles as they moved and flexed.

His lips led away from my breast, but his hands remained plucking and kneading them. My pussy pulsed in the same rhythm as his hands and I moved restlessly looking for friction of any kind.

"Edward, please, I need you."

I heard and felt his dark chuckle against my stomach. "I know sweetheart." His tongue swirled in my belly button and I shrieked as that tickled. Lower he went and just when I was about to weep in joy that he was almost to my clit; he detoured and kissed his way from one hip to another. His hands had left my tits at last and held my hips tight to the bed.

With his shoulders he pushed my thighs open wide. My hands clutched at the bed sheets when I felt the first stream of air he blew over my pussy.

"Ohh, more, please …" I shifted my hips which caused him to hold me down harder. "Edward," I whined without shame.

His nose bumped my clit and I hissed out, "Yes, please!"

Without warning, Edward dived into my pussy. His tongue and lips were everywhere at once. He flicked my clit, only to feel him licking me from top to bottom, as his teeth nibbled my lower lips. When his fingers slammed into me, I heard the wet sucking noises and shamelessly spread my legs wider silently begging him for more.

His fingers pumped into me as his lips wrapped around my swollen clit and sucked hard. My orgasm hit out of nowhere. My head snapped back as my body convulsed with each wave and pulse from my pussy. I felt as it echoed throughout my body like ripples on the water. Edward never slowed his movements as he finger fucked me hard while his tongue lashed on my clit. I felt the wetness pour out of me and pool under my ass cheeks.

Wordless grunts spilled from my mouth as I rode each wave of my orgasm. It seemed never-ending and was prolonged by Edward's playing of my body. When I at last slumped back onto the bed, Edward pulled his fingers out of me. In a hazy fog, I watched as he licked his fingers clean.

I needed to feel the weight of his body on mine and pulled him down. We kissed with languid abandonment. This time there was no desperation. Instead, it was replaced with utter devotion. When he shifted and then slid into me, there was no rush, just a sense of completion. Our hands twined together as he pumped into me, eyes locked on each other.

We whispered words of love and forever against our sweat soaked skin. It was in that moment that I felt reborn in his love and strength. Gone was the girl who needed to do what it took to get and keep her man. She was replaced by one who finally understood that wasn't needed. She had her man, just as he had her. When we finally succumbed to one final orgasm, I finally felt as if I belonged with Edward. The lack of faith I had in our love was gone. Now I was certain in our feelings and with that faith our love blossomed.

I had found my home and it was with Edward.

**A/N: Yea.. yea.. she lied... let me explain why! 1) She was convinved Edward wouldn't want to be with her if he knew the truth (she had no way of knowing that he was going to be ok with it) 2) Remember the prologue.. she stated there was one thing he didn't know the whole truth about.. and that was Jason. When she lied.. Edward believed her.. 3) No human or relationship is perfect.. at 18... who hasn't lied to keep someone.. I know I have!**

**Soo.. I can't wait to hear what you have to say... I know there will me lots that are not Team Bella.. and I'm okay with that. Soo... please.. let me know what your thinking...**

**Until next week with Epi#1.. *mwah* WVG**


	29. Epi: Memories of Us

**A/N: You guys never seem to fail to surprise me! The passion and intense emotions you all had over the last chapter floored me! I hope that this epilogue will help calm some of those frayed nerves! See if you can spot reference that were made in the prologue in this epiloge! *winks***

**As always to my wonderful team of ladies that help make hockeyward what he is: Itlnbrt- my beta of awesomeness! CullensTwiMistress, fanfichardcore & JoJo757 pre-read and always make me smile with their comments.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I'm just a girl who has a mild hockey obsession. ENJOY! Ohh I was told to issue a kleenex warning!**

Memories of Us

**BPOV**

_Garth Brooks- The Red Strokes_

_Steam on the window, salt in a kiss  
Two hearts have never pounded like this  
Inspired by a vision  
That they can't command  
Erasing the borders  
With each brush of a hand  
Oh, the red strokes  
Passions uncaged  
Thundering moments of tenderness rage  
Oh, the red strokes  
Tempered and strong  
Burning the night like the dawn_

The auditorium was a sea of black gowns and caps. The low hum of the audience never fully died down, even as graduates walked across the stage one by one to get their diplomas. Seeing as I was in the School of Business, I was the first to walk across the stage. As I made my way across I heard my parents and Edward hoot and holler as I shook hands with the University President. I smiled in their direction, hoping they would know that I heard them.

Being the first to get my diploma, it left me with a lot of time and allowed my mind to wonder back to just how we got here.

The first year was our bumpiest. We had to adjust to being responsible and on our own. The trials of away games, exes, and school life in general added to the stress of our relationship. But we weathered it, far better than anyone ever thought. Even Carmen and Eleazar were unable to make it last. They broke up shortly after our second year started. Even our closest friends from home struggled.

Rose and Emmett were in a constant cycle of on again-off again. It wasn't that they didn't love each other, they did. But each had issues with trust and without complete trust; they struggled to make things work. They were going to be living just a short ways from each other in California now that they graduated and were once again giving it a go. I wished them well, but worried about them.

Emmett didn't get drafted due to an injury his senior year. He was hoping to get on a team as a walk-on for one of the local NFL teams. Rose got her degree in accounting and was going to be working for a very prestigious firm in Los Angeles. She worked long, hard hours trying to make her way up the ladder.

Alice and Jasper were a whole different story. In Alice's sophomore year she got accepted to the study abroad program in France. It was nearly unheard of for a second year student to get accepted. It was an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and one that took her away from Jasper for a year. They took a break while she was gone. I knew they both dated during that time, but nothing ever stuck.

Then in Jasper's junior year he had to drop out to go and care for his sick grandma. She was all he had left of his mother's family. He felt he owed it to her. He moved in with her to help with the farm and care for her. About seven months later she died peacefully in her sleep. The strain of all those life changing events took their toll on them and it wasn't until after Alice graduated that they reunited.

Currently, Alice was in New York working for _Elle _Magazine as a fashion reporter. Jasper would be finishing up his teaching degree in history and was trying to decide if he wanted to pursue graduate school or not. Edward and I had a bet going. I said Jasper stays and goes to graduate school, Edward thought he'd start teaching right away.

Our second year was easier and tons more fun. With one college hockey season under our belt, we were better equipped to deal with away games and the stress of the season. Edward, as well, was a much better player. He was able to find his joy in the game once more and unloaded all the pressure and stress he placed upon himself his first season.

He helped his team defend their WCHA Final Five Championship and when they made it back to the NCAA playoffs, he was phenomenal. They made it all the way to the Frozen Four which was played in Minnesota. I was lucky enough to watch him and his team as they beat Maine in overtime to take the championship. He led his team in scoring during the playoffs. He was on fire. So much so, he found a semi-consistent place on the starting line. I was so fucking proud to see him hoist the huge championship trophy. I had tears in my eyes.

But the best came the summer after our sophomore year. With the concussion he suffered freshman year, he opted not to participate in the NHL draft. He felt it just wasn't the right time. There were still a few teams interested in him, but Edward refused. He asked them to give him a year to mature and grow as a player.

It was the best choice he ever made.

Two days before he turned twenty, the NHL draft was held in Madison Square Garden. With the year that Edward had, it was hoped that he would go in the first round. There were many teams that expressed an interest in him. With him expected to go high, he was asked to attend the draft in person and Edward asked me to come as well.

It was a whirlwind of activity and action. All the high draftees were secluded in a room with a few selected family and friends. I was surprised to see that I wasn't the only girlfriend in attendance, although there were only a few of us.

I had made the acquaintance with a girl who was there with her high school boyfriend. She seemed a bit snobbish and it only got worse the longer we talked. When she found out that Edward just finished his second year of college, her eyes got all wide and shocked.

"Really? Wow, that's old for the NHL." She even had the audacity to sniff at me.

Instead I gave her a shrug. "He passed on the draft last year due to an injury."

That of course spurred another round of questions. When she found out that we had been dating since high school she looked at me all proud and shit. I was a bit confused until she leaned over and whispered that it was smart to attach myself to his coattails early.

I wanted to smack her. If it wasn't for Esme sitting next to me, I would have bitch slapped her. Most people have that reaction to me when they hear how long we've been together. They look at me as if I'm some money grubbing whore. That couldn't be further from the truth.

But I didn't let her get me down. In fact, I took an immense amount of pleasure shushing her whenever another draft was going to be announced.

"I saw that Bryce was going to go far and I latched onto him. He's gonna be my ticket out of that hole in the wall town," she huffed, and I choked on my spit. "When he got recruited by Vermont I was worried that he was playing for some crappy team."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "They are a pretty decent team, consistent."

She smirked. "Yeah, I figured that out quick. His first year he was-"

"Shh, Chuck Fletcher is at the podium." I kept my eyes glued to the screen and squeezed Esme's hand. I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder and I held it tight.

"With the sixth pick, the Minnesota Wild selects winger Edward Cullen from the University of Denver."

The four of us jumped up and hugged Edward. Esme and I had tears streaming down our faces. I watched as Carlisle pulled Edward in tight for a hug. Edward kissed his mom on the cheek before he swept me up in his arms and swung me around. Knowing there were cameras on us, I gave him a quick peck on the lips before he went to take photos with the General Manager of the Wild.

That night we partied hard. Alice and Jasper joined up with us and we celebrated Edward's good luck. He met with the team the next day to discuss his options. He could leave school early and play in the Wild's minor league system or stay in school and develop more there. After several hours it was determined that it would be better for him to remain with the Pioneers.

However, the cool thing was that when the Wild held their developmental camps for their prospects, Edward went and participated. It was so cool to see him out on the ice with other players. Even more amazing was though they were only prospects; the fans still came out to watch them play.

Now that we were graduating, Edward was looking forward to training camp this fall. There was no guarantee that he would make the team. In fact we were pretty sure he would end up playing for the Aeros, which was the Wild's minor league team in Houston. Edward really didn't care where he ended up, just as long as he got a shot at the big leagues.

I was brought out of my rumination when the School of Engineering and Computer Science was announced by their Dean. I watched the stage with rapt attention and when Edward's name was announced I jumped up and hollered.

I stood the entire time he walked across the stage. My eyes got watery and my heart swelled with pride as he accepted his diploma. Not only was he getting his degree, but he was getting it with honors. He busted his ass to keep his GPA high. To see the gold cord hung around his neck made me so happy. He could have just done the bare minimum to get by and stay on the team, but that wasn't him.

He looked over at me and waved. I waved back and sniffed back the tears. I was just so fucking proud of him.

When the insanely long ceremony was over and we could get the hell out of there, I quickly made my way through the crowd to where the parents were waiting. I spotted Carlisle talking to Charlie and when I drew closer I spotted Esme hugging Renee.

They saw me first and engulfed me into their arms.

"So proud of you, baby," said Renee who cupped my face in her hands.

"Thanks, mom."

"Congratulations, Bella," stated Esme as she kissed my cheek.

"Way to go, Bells," said Charlie as he gave me an awkward one armed hug.

"Thanks, Dad." I kissed his cheek and he blushed and coughed. I smirked at him and he chuckled.

"Congrats, Bella. We are proud of you." Carlisle pulled me into a full bodied hug. I returned it and then pulled away from him to look around.

"Where is Edward?" The air around me grew quiet. I turned to see four sets of eyes looking at me. It was hard to decipher their looks. Everyone was being so guarded. "What? What's going on, guys?"

For a brief moment no one spoke and I felt my heart lurch into my throat as all sort of theories and scenarios floated in my head. I tried not to let my head go to a dark place. After all this time, there was no reason for me to think that Edward had tired of me.

"Oh, you're all mean." My mom's voice broke through my scary thoughts and I whipped around to look at her. She was holding a plain white envelope. "Here you are sweetie." She handed it to me and I took it with shaky hands.

"What is this? Where is Edward?" I tried to blink back the tears but it was fruitless.

"Sweetheart, don't worry. Open the envelope. It will explain everything." Esme brushed my hair back and smiled at me. That was when I noticed that everyone was smiling, even my Dad. "Trust me," she whispered.

Somehow, those two words calmed me down enough to open the envelope. It held one small scrap of paper that featured Edward's distinctive scrawl.

_Bella,_

_Today the rest of our life begins. We have gathered the knowledge we need to start the next leg of our amazing journey called life. But, there is one thing missing. Follow the clues to figure it out._

_Love,_

_Edward_

_P.S. Stop crying, this is a good thing, silly girl._

I laughed out loud when I read that last line, he knew me so well.

I re-read the note and stopped on the word clues.

"What clues?" I mumbled out loud not expecting anyone to answer.

"Here is your first one," replied Esme. I looked up to see her holding another envelope with my name written in Edward's writing. I also noticed that my parents and Carlisle were gone.

"Where did everyone go? Aren't we supposed to go to dinner? What the fu- hell is going on?" I was confused, frustrated, and overly emotional, not a great mix for me.

Esme laughed. "That was just a cover story for this. Here is your first clue. You will get answers along the way. Relax and enjoy this." She winked, handed me the envelope, and walked away.

I huffed in annoyance before I tore into the envelope and read the clue inside.

_Four years have come and gone_

_It's not as long as a century_

_Although it feels it's been that long_

_Our journey here began not down a street_

_But in a hall_

I stood there and looked at the words.

_What the fuck?_

It made no sense. Or maybe they would have if I wasn't feeling so fucking confused. I read the first note again. He said there is one thing missing to start our journey and the clues would lead me to where I needed to go.

_OMG! _

It was a treasure hunt! I laughed and the tension I was holding evaporated. We had done small versions of these for special moments over the years. I glanced over the clue once more. Where was he trying to get me to go? I wracked my brain until two words popped out of the clue: century and hall.

"Centennial Hall," I whispered. It was the place we lived our first year. I took off for the building as I thought over our first year there. It was the place we shared the majority of the drama, but where we made the best memories. We hated to leave it our second year, but Centennial Hall was for first year students only.

As I walked across the campus and dodged clusters of graduates and their families, I couldn't help but think back to living in Nagel Hall the next two years. Edward had made friends with a student who worked in the housing department and helped us secure rooms. The wait list for second years to get into it was huge, but Edward called in a favor and we got in. It was easy peasey.

As I drew closer to Centennial I spotted someone leaning against the outside of the building.

"Dad?" I called out as I walked up to the front door. Charlie smiled at me.

"What are you doing here?"

His only response was to hold out another envelope. I took it and immediately opened it up.

_You have always been my biggest fan_

_Knowing you were always there to cheer me on_

_Spurred me to make champion memories_

_Your next clue awaits you at the place_

_Where the memories are for all to see_

After I read it, I looked up to talk to my Dad only to find that he was gone.

What was with all the disappearing people? With no one around to help me out, I was back to figuring things out myself. Scanning the clue once more, several words leapt out at me; fan and champion. The last line seemed just as important. It had to be about hockey.

Then it hit me, Richie Center.

That was where the display case was that held all the trophies that the athletic teams won. I turned around and jogged the short distance to the Center. Over the four years that Edward played for the Pioneers he led them to two Final Five Championships. They made it to the championship game in his third year but they lost in overtime to North Dakota. His senior year they took third place.

They also made it to the Frozen Four the last three years, winning it all his second year. They took third the last two years. But through it all, Edward just got better with each passing year. By the time his senior year ended, he led the WCHA in scoring two years in a row and just a few months ago he won the Hobey Baker Award which was given to the best college hockey player in the country. He had been nominated twice for the award.

As I rounded the corner to where the display cases held all the trophies I noticed Carlisle was waiting for me. I looked down at his hand to see that he held another envelope. When he heard me coming down the hall, he straightened up and smiled.

"Edward thought you would get the clues fast. Here's your next one." He kissed me and then took off. I was expecting not to get much out of him so it didn't bother me when he left. I pulled out the third clue and smiled. This one was easy.

_They say a rose by another name would smell as sweet_

_But here we are home to our brand of rose_

_On a gloomy day I helped you smile_

_When I plucked one just for you._

I shoved the clue into the envelope and took off for the gardens that were across from the library. The campus is home to the famous DU rose. It has a fancier name but I could never remember it. It didn't look like a traditional rose, the color and petals were very distinct. It blooms long after most students leave for the summer. But the summer between our junior and senior years, both Edward and I stayed behind to take advantage of great opportunities.

I was invited to participate in a summer internship at a local marketing agency. I was one of three people that got the opportunity to put my schooling to use. It was an amazing time. But one day, after a grueling meeting in which I was lambasted by a senior partner, Edward found me here crying. I was bound and determined to switch my track and get the hell out of marketing.

Edward wouldn't let me do that. He reminded me of how much I enjoyed not only my classes, but the internship. He said, "Don't let one jerk get to you. You are smart and great at what you do. Everyone has off days, baby. The trick is to learn from them and grow."

He then went against school policy and picked a rose from a nearby bush and gave it to me. He kissed me senseless until I cried "uncle" and then took me out for ice cream. I still have the rose; it's pressed between a few pages of the Edward book.

When I reached the gardens with the roses, there was my mother and Esme, holding hands and looking so very excited. I skipped over to them with a beaming smile on my face.

"This has been a great trip down memory lane," I inform them. Their only reply was giggles.

Esme handed me a bouquet of DU roses while my mother handed me another envelope.

"Enjoy," she said before she kissed my cheek and left. Esme squeezed my hand and kissed my other cheek before she left as well.

The envelope was opened in a flash and my eyes drank in his words. My heart melted and I knew exactly where he wanted me to go.

_Across the campus their sounds tell the hour_

_One cold holiday we danced under the stars_

_It was there that I knew_

_I would love you forever._

I took off once more back to Richie Center which held the Williams Tower. It's a spectacular landmark, a gleaming gold topped tower that held bronze bells. Every hour they chimed out. Their melody was a familiar backdrop to any student on campus. Every Christmas holiday, the carillonneur played Christmas carols with the bells, and people on campus and all over Denver show up to listen.

Our junior year, Edward took me there on a date. It was a cold day; it had snowed several inches the day before. We held steaming cups of hot chocolate to keep warm. When they were finished, Edward wrapped me up tight in his arms and we gently swayed side to side with the music. I distinctively remembered the look in his eyes that night. They were wide, full of love and desire. When we made it back to my room, he spent all night long showing me how much he loved me.

When I made it to the door that led to the tower, I found no one waiting for me. Instead there was a rose tied to the handle. As I worked to get the rose off, the door opened slightly. I opened it up the rest of the way to see the stairs were lit with candles and rose petals were strewn about.

As I made my way up the winding staircase, my eyes filled with tears. Along the way I met my father, mother, Carlisle, and Esme. They said nothing to me, each just handed me another rose and sent me on my way.

At the top of the tower, the door to the outside was already opened. The setting sun was the perfect backdrop to the scene that was laid out before me. Candles were strewn all over the place and rose petals were scattered as well.

Edward, still in his dress shirt and tie from graduation, leaned against the low brick wall. His smile was breathtaking and for a moment, I simply stared at him. I always found new things that amazed me about him and the way he loved me. The depths of his compassion and love knew no bounds. I was a lucky woman to have him in my life and I never took it for granted.

"You found me," he said and it brought me out of my Edward induced stupor.

"That I did. Thanks for the trip down memory lane." I turned around slowly, taking in the sights and stage he set for us. "Did you do all this?"

He nodded. "My mom and yours helped as well. Do you like your roses?"

I buried my nose into the soft petals and inhaled the delicate fragrance. "Yes," I breathed. "Will you tell me what this is all for?"

I gestured to what was laid out before us and held up the clues. Instead of answering right away he sauntered over to me. He took the roses and placed them on a low table that I missed earlier. He also took the clues and set them next to the roses. Then he took both of my hands in his and walked backward until his back hit the low brick wall.

His arms came around me and snuggled me close. We both breathed a deep sigh of relief. It had always been like this between us. Nothing felt right unless we were together. My arms automatically wound themselves around his torso and I hugged him close.

When he pulled back, his eyes were sparkling, jade jewels that peered deep into my soul. I stood there transfixed, I made sure my eyes reflected back all the love and need I had for him.

"What's going on, Edward?" I whispered the words so he wouldn't hear the desperation in my voice.

"I did this for you, to show you that I love you and I will always love you." In one smooth movement he was down on one knee while my hands flew to my mouth, tears sprang to my eyes.

"This trip down memory lane was to remind you of all that we have gone through, the good and the bad. But no matter what came our way, we weathered it together. There is no one else I want by my side for the rest of my life than you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. He held it up with one hand and grasped my hand with the other.

"Isabella, would you do me the great honor of becoming not only my wife, but my best friend and soul mate for the rest of our lives?" With that he popped open the box to reveal a stunning ring.

It was a square cut diamond that was surrounded by tiny little emeralds all around it. The band looked like platinum and had a few smaller diamonds running down the side of band. It was simply gorgeous.

I looked into Edward's eye and saw unshed tears welling up.

"Yes," I whispered and watched as they began to fall. With shaky hands, he slipped the ring onto my left hand and kissed it before pulling me in close. His hands framed my face as he just looked at me.

"Thank you for making me the happiest man on earth." He then crushed his lips to mine. I grasped his hair and pulled him close. Our lips and teeth licked and nibbled and when mouths opened, tongues delved and tasted.

Our bodies melted together as one of his strong hands swept down my spine to rest on the curve of my ass. My hands slid down his neck to his chest where I felt his heart pounding like a drum. When air became a necessity we moved to different parts to kiss.

We were swept up in the celebratory feeling of being engaged. So much so that when he gripped my ass and we started to grind away, the knock on the door scared us apart.

"Have the parents been waiting all this time?" A blush covered my face at the thought of being caught in a passionate kiss with Edward.

"Yeah," he answered. "I think they stuck around to know your answer."

I looked up at him. "They all knew you were going to propose? What if I had said no?"

Edward's eyes crinkled as he smiled at me. "I knew we belonged together, there was no way in hell you were going to say no."

With that he opened the door and our parents spilled out into the little overlook. They were awestruck at first by the view and then secondly by the ring that adorned my finger. Someone had brought champagne and with a soft pop had it open and six plastic cups filled with the bubbly liquid.

"A toast, to Edward and Bella," intoned Carlisle as he and the rest of us lifted our glasses up high. "May this be just the beginning to a bright future full of love and happiness."

A chorus of "To Edward and Bella" rang out as we clinked cups.

Edward wrapped his arm around me and held me close. "Love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too."

With our family around us, celebrating our new journey in life, I knew we would find our happily ever after.

_I'm gonna be here for you baby  
I'll be a man of my word  
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard  
I wanna sleep with you forever  
And I wanna die in your arms  
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm  
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us._

_Keith Urban- Making Memories of Us_

**A/N: *sniff* awww... soo sweet... I hope you enjoyed it! **

**For all of those who would like to request an outtake, I ask that you give me your idedas. I am in the hunt to do one more outtake for this story. If I get lots of great ideas, I may do a poll to choose.. soo check the Sweetwards Mistresses FB group as that is where I hang out!**

**Now.. tell me... did ya like it, love it? Until next week! *smooches***


	30. Epi: Champions of the Heart

**A/N: *sigh* Here it is... the last epi... See you at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just an immense love for hockey.. that I created Hockeyward. Enjoy.. hankey warning**

Epilogue 2- Champions of the Heart

**EPOV**- Ten Years Later

_Phillip Phillips- Home_

_Hold on, to me as we go_

_As we roll down this unfamiliar road_

_And although this wave is stringing us along_

_Just know you're not alone_

_Cause I'm gonna make this place your home_

_Settle down, it'll all be clear_

_Don't pay no mind to the demons_

_They fill you with fear_

_The trouble it might drag you down_

_If you get lost, you can always be found_

_Just know you're not alone_

_Cause I'm going to make this place your home_

The Excel Center was rocking. The sound was almost deafening. I looked into the stands to see that almost everyone was on their feet. The screams and cheers energized the atmosphere to the point that my skin felt as if it was a live wire. As I skated around our end of the rink at the start of the third period, I couldn't help but glance up at the scoreboard.

It was a tied game at two goals each, and twenty minutes left of game seven of the Stanley Cup playoffs against the Pittsburg Penguins. This was where champions were made. I felt oddly at ease, and I wasn't sure if I should be worried or go with the flow. But as I looked up and down the bench at my teammates, I sensed that everyone felt at ease. While this was serious business, we were having fun and that leant itself to the relaxed air that surrounded us.

I watched as our first line skated to the red line to take the opening face-off. The stands vibrated with the spectators clapping and stomping. Goosebumps raced along my arms and spine and I just knew something magical was going to happen.

When the puck dropped a roar erupted from the crowd and my eyes followed the movement and the play on the ice. We controlled the puck and our center flipped it a winger who backtracked into our zone to give everyone more space. With everyone in position, we charged forward. Players took up offensive points, the defense swarmed around their goalie.

You could feel the intensity on each player as they focused not only on where the puck was, but other players around them. It only took a split moment of being caught unaware to change the tide and momentum of the game. Our defense changed and then I heard coach bark out the next line.

"Granlund, Cullen, and Clutterbuck, you're up. Let's get a little more physical." The three of us nodded and got ready to hop over the bench.

When the other line came close, we hopped over and joined the play seamlessly. One of our d-men flipped the puck up to me and I took it up the middle but before I crossed the blue line I flipped it to Mikael and then stopped short of the line to allow him to take it in.

This caused the d-man shadowing me to come up short and then scramble to provide deeper coverage. Cal was busy throwing his body around. He was one of our more physical players and didn't hesitate to throw his body into every check. He created some space down low and as I made my way closer to the net, Mikael shot the puck in my direction. I tried to shoot it as it was moving, but it was easily scooped up by the goalie.

When the whistle blew, coach motioned for us to take the faceoff. The Pens brought out fresher legs. I lined up to take the face-off against Sidney Crosby. He smirked at me as if to say that this face-off would be a piece of cake.

In the spirit and emotion of the game I couldn't help but to quip, "Try not to break any bones, old man." He narrowed his eyes at me as if I had some nerve to back talk "Sid the Kid." Ironic thing was, he was no longer a kid and he had overstayed his usefulness to his team. He was trying to win one more Cup and go out on a high note. I was going to make sure that never happened.

The puck dropped and in one motion I scrambled for the puck while pushing into Crosby hard. He may be older, but I was stronger. A twist of my hip had him sprawling on the ice and we made our way toward the net.

Cal was down low once more so Mikael and I moved back and forth high in the zone to find some room. When I noticed that Cal had deked out a d-man, I took a chance and sent the puck toward him. It made contact with Cal's stick but deflected wide. It was scooped up by the Pens and they started their offensive charge. Coach called us back to the bench.

The play went back and forth for most of the third period. There had only been one penalty per team called. But there had been plenty of scoring chances which was what kept the fans invested in the game. On my second shift, I hit the pipe. A collective groan could be heard from the arena. I just laughed.

With the game down to the last five minutes, chances were being taken; riskier passes, more aggressive checks, and throwing every puck we could at the net. The fans loved it, waiting to witness that perfect moment that could go down in sports history. Instead of feeling weighed down with pressure, I felt relaxed and at ease.

I was back out on the ice, time was ticking down fast, and I felt the itch to make something happen. My feet were flying as I joined the play. We had just dug the puck out of our zone and tried to start some offensive movement. I was passed the puck tightly on the boards and was immediately checked. I hit the boards hard and the puck bounced off my stick right to the stick of a Pens player.

They were able to take it back into our zone. I set up in the middle of our zone, swinging my stick back and forth to intercept any pass going low. A Pens winger shot the puck into the corner furthest from me. For some reason while most everyone shifted to that side, I drifted up closer to the red line.

One of our d-men, who were deep in the corner, looked up and saw me. In a flash he dug the puck out of the pile up in the corner and passed it up to me. When the puck connected to my stick, I was off. My skates seemed to float on the ice as I headed one-on-one into the Pens zone. I paid no attention to the Pens defender that was trying frantically to catch me and give some defensive support to his goalie.

He was going to be too late.

The goalie came out of his crease to challenge me and to head me off if I decided to take an angle shot. I had no need to do that. I was going straight at him. I knew his glove was fast, so my plan was to go right at him, deke him out, and shoot it at his stick side. Part of my brain registered the absolute frenzy of the crowd at the break-away chance I had. The rest of my mind was on the goalie.

I drifted just minutely to his glove side, creating the illusion that I would be shooting glove side. When I saw him move just a hair more to his glove side, I smiled. A few more strides and I quickly moved as if I was going to go wide on the glove side. The goalie moved even more, and I moved the stick and puck off to that side as well.

At the last moment, I swung my entire body, along with my stick and the puck, to the other side. I could see the wide open hole his stick side left and when the goalie believed I was going to go that side, he started moving stick side. That was my cue to deke him back to his glove side. Since goalies move so much slower, he lurched to his glove side. This caused him to wobble and he went down one a knee.

I swung my stick back to his stick side and in one smooth shot, lifted it above his stick, and right into the net. The goal light went off, the fans went wild, and the horn sounded. I was mobbed by my teammates as I skated close to the boards. The fans there pounded against the glass in celebration and I heard their shouts of happiness.

I made my way over to the bench where the rest of my line had already gone. Teammates were standing up and I fist bumped their gloves before I sat back down on the bench. The crowd was still going crazy and it only increased when the announcer came over the loudspeaker.

"Scoring for your Minnesota Wild, his first goal of the game, but tenth of the playoffs, number thirteen, Edward Cullen!"

I got a few more pats from teammates before coach got us back in line. One would think that with the lead and just a few minutes left before we won the Stanley Cup that time would appear to move slowly. It never felt that way to me. I watched the play on the ice as the last two minutes ticked off with delight. I had faith in my team and my defense to keep the Pens from scoring.

Even when I was on the ice for the last forty-five seconds with an empty net mocking me down the ice and an extra Pens player, I just wanted to shout in glee. Which was exactly what I was able to do when the horn sounded and they played Queen's _We are the Champion's _over the speakers. I mobbed my teammates as we screamed and yes, I'll admit, as we cried.

I skated around the ice with a Stanley Cup champ hat on my head watching fans as they celebrated with us. It was surreal and dream-like. But each second of it was being etched into my brain. I never wanted to forget that we had finally brought the Stanley Cup to Minnesota.

I also couldn't help but think back to how I'd worked and struggled to get to this moment.

After graduation, I participated in training camp with the Wild. Like we anticipated, I was sent to play with the Wild's minor team, the Houston Aeros. Bella was lucky to get a job at a Houston marketing firm. We found a neat little apartment in downtown Houston. With help from Esme, and Alice, Bella started to plan our wedding.

Playing with Houston was so much different than college, the speed, precision, and skill some of these players had left me feeling inadequate. But I worked hard. The coaches were phenomenal. Our life settled into a neat little pattern of Bella working and then, when she could, attending games at night. We made friends and settled into a nice kind of life.

What we never counted on, were the number of times I would be called up to play. Once I found my rhythm with Aeros, I flourished. The first time I was called up, I was leading the team in points. I played my first NHL game in December and stayed up with them for two weeks.

That also meant for those two weeks, I was away from Bella. It was so fucking hard. But we survived the separation. I was lucky there were a few weekend games and Bella was able to fly up and watch me play. I scored my first NHL goal during my third game with the Wild.

Through all the craziness, Bella was able to put together a simple wedding back in Forks. Alice with her connections helped get things arranged. She and Jasper were settling in New York, as Jasper finished graduate school. Emmett was able to find a spot on the Raiders team. He didn't get to play too much, but he was making an impression. There was talk that once the season ended they would talk to him about signing a contract for a few years. Rose was able to transfer to an accounting firm to be closer to Em, and Bella thought they would be the next to get married.

Our wedding in March was simple and beautiful. Reverend Webster officiated our small church wedding which, was held on a Friday night. The reception was held at my parent's house. It was just what we wanted. Since the hockey season was still going on, we were postponing our honeymoon until the summer. The Aeros were in the playoff hunt, and I couldn't take time off. That was why we married on a Friday, it was an off day and I wouldn't have to play till the following Monday.

As the reception slowly came to an end, I got a call from the Wild. They had an injury to one of their wingers and needed me to fly out that night. They knew it was our wedding, but they needed me immediately. They had a Sunday afternoon game that I was to play at. As luck would have it, they were playing a round of Eastern teams. I had to fly from the west coast across the country at nearly midnight. It made for a very long wedding night.

Bella understood, but I felt horrible for leaving like that. But in true Wild fashion, they arranged for Bella to come and watch me play. She would fly out the next morning; they set her up in a hotel and arranged for tickets. Since we were playing the Rangers, we asked for two extra tickets and Alice and Jasper joined her.

I made up for it all with a month long honeymoon trip to Europe. We went to England, Ireland, Scotland, Italy, and lastly Greece. We had an amazing time.

But if we thought the first season was crazy, it was nothing like the second. I actually started with the Wild, as one of their starting players was going to be out the first few months of the season. That meant I spent months away from Bella. There was no guarantee that I would stay with the team and not end up back at Houston. So Bella remained in Houston and racked up the frequent flyer points. If there was a weekend game, she flew up to watch.

The entire second season was like that. I had long stints with the team and then would be sent back to Houston when they had too many players. It was a stressful on us both, but we found ways to make it work.

But eventually I made it and stayed with the Wild. At the start of my third season they offered me a five year deal worth fifteen million. With signing bonus and incentives, the total contract was worth just over twenty million.

Bella transferred up to Minnesota and we found a nice house in North Oaks, which was less than thirty minutes from the arena. It was a newer house that featured four bedrooms and three bathrooms. We had a pool and a nice workout room. Bella was in love with the kitchen. We moved in early June which gave us plenty of time to get settled before the season would start.

At the end of that third season, in April, Bella told me that we were expecting our first child. Her pregnancy was easy and uncomplicated. We decided to wait and be surprised at what we were having. Esme flew in to help her with the nursery since I was busy playing.

I'll never forget the day she was born. I was already at the arena, in the middle of a home game to be exact, when the trainer came in and told me that Bella's water broke. A neighbor was bringing her to the hospital. One look at coach and he let me go, he knew I would be no good for the rest of the game.

On January 15th, our little girl, Hailey Raye Cullen was born at 10:27 PM weighing eight pounds six ounces and twenty-two inches long. She was beautiful, the spitting image of her mother. The only thing she picked up from me were my green eyes, otherwise she was purely Bella.

With Hailey's birth, Bella quit work to be a stay at home mom. She did join the Wild's Charitable Committee and spent time working with the various charities the Wild was involved with. Two years after Hailey was born Bella gave birth to Kieran Anthony. Hailey was ecstatic to become a big sister.

Life in the NHL was full of up and downs and hard work. The team was struggling the first couple years when I played there full-time. But with some great draft picks and careful trades, the team gathered a group of talented players. We slowly started to transform from a below average team to a serious contender. The last three years we made it into the playoffs each year and won our division the last two.

My trip down memory lane was disrupted by Mikael Granlund who was holding the Cup out to me. In typical NHL tradition, each member of the winning team gets their turn to skate around the ice with the Cup, it was now my turn.

With shaking hands, I grasped the silver Cup and looked at it. The names of all the champions who had come before me was etched on the silver bands. The thought that my name would be forever immortalized on that was overwhelming. Mikael clapped me on the back and smiled as I skated away with it.

I couldn't help the tears that escaped as I coasted around the rink holding the Cup up high. To have accomplished this feat was more than I ever dared to dream. Knowing that my wife and kids were up in the stands watching me and cheering me on was just a huge bonus. I stopped on the ice right in front of where Bella and the kids were watching from their box. I pointed up at them even if I couldn't see them and then held the Cup up to them in salute.

Much later that night I finally made it back to the hotel that we were staying in, the room was dark except for a small light by a plush couch. I tip toed over to see that Bella was fast asleep. I crept my way to the room where the kids were sleeping and I smiled. Kieran still had on my jersey and in his small fist was a Stanley Cup champ hat.

I made my way to where Bella was and slowly knelt down by her. Her mouth was pursed and her face was smooth. Since I was just a bit tipsy, I saw no problem in giving her a small kiss on her cheek. I had no intention of taking it any further, but she smelled so good so I was unable to stop with just one.

I left whisper soft kisses along her cheek, her eyes, and forehead before I kissed her lips. I watched as her eyes moved beneath her lids and then started to flutter open. When she at last focused them on me, her face broke out into a huge smile.

"Hey baby," I whispered. I couldn't help but stroke a lone finger down her cheek. She looked so fucking sexy and she was all mine.

"There's my Stanley Cup champ. How does it feel?" I watched as her eyes scanned my face. She alone knew just how much this all meant to me. The struggle and strain the early years of my career put on us, to finally making it, and how the hard work never stopped.

"Surreal. I haven't quite wrapped my head around it. It just doesn't seem real. I'm worried that I'll wake up and it will all have been a dream." Tears pooled in my eyes, so I closed them to keep them from falling.

I heard Bella as she moved on the couch and felt the warmth of her hands on my face.

"I'm so fucking proud of you, baby. You worked so hard. It was worth it. Every day you were away, every lonely night we spent apart. IT. WAS. FUCKING. WORTH. IT!" Her thumbs rubbed my cheeks, and I opened my eyes to stare at her.

She had tears as well, but she wasn't afraid to let them fall. I saw her happiness, joy, and love for me.

"Wanna know how I know it's worth it?"

Unable to speak with my throat closed tightly, I just nodded.

"Because your kids looked at you tonight as if you hung the moon. They keep screaming and shouting that their dad is a champion. Hell, Kieran kept asking me if you two could eat cereal out of the Cup." She laughed and it warmed my heart.

"All the sacrifices that we endured over the years brought you to this point. I wouldn't trade a single moment." She paused and stared deeply into my eyes. "You, Edward, are a Stanley Cup champion. Not many people can say that. No one will ever be able to take that away from you. Enjoy this moment, revel in it."

Her words sparked something deep inside me. I pulled her roughly to me and I kissed her deep and hard. Her low throaty moans went straight to my dick, and I spent the rest of the night reveling in my wife's body.

A few months later, I had one eager little boy bouncing up and down while looking out the window.

"When is it coming, Dad? Isn't it time?" He looked up at the clock on the wall with a frustrated glare. I smothered a laugh as he tried to figure out what time it was.

To diffuse any possible tantrums, I scooped Kieran up and began tickling him. His loud peals of laughter echoed through the house. Bella and Hailey watched from the couch with amused smiles on their face. I brought a squirming little boy over to them inviting them to join the tickle fest.

"I know what he wants," sang Hailey. She lifted his shirt and planted a huge raspberry on his tummy. Kieran screamed in delight and kicked his small little feet in a vain attempt to get away.

At that moment, the doorbell rang and Kieran shrieked. "It's here, it's here! Put me down, Daddy. It's here." The moment his feet touched down he took off for the door.

As a family we walked to the door and I had to smile at my son's wide eyed expression as he took in the large black locker with the Stanley Cup logo emblazoned on it. The stately gentleman standing next to it wearing a Hall of Fame blazer smiled at Kieran's slack jawed face.

"Mr. Cullen, I presume? I'm Anthony Shaw and today's Cup keeper," he stated as he held out his hand.

I shook it and nodded. "That's me. Come on in." I grabbed Kieran to move him out of the way as Mr. Shaw handled the locker with practiced ease. We all watched with rapt attention as he set the locker down, slid on the famous white gloves and flipped open the locks.

Kieran was vibrating with restrained excitement, while Bella was trying not to cry, as he lifted the silver Cup from its home. It gleamed brightly in the early morning sun.

"Whoa," uttered Kieran. The whole family was silent as we simply stared at one of the most iconic sports trophy in history.

Of course, Mr. Shaw broke the silence with his little speech that listed the rules when it came to our twenty-four hours with the Cup. I listened while Bella and the kids got close and personal with it. When Mr. Shaw was done, he smiled at me.

"The Cup is yours, Mr. Cullen, congratulations."

The first thing we did was take pictures of where my name was engraved. Next followed pictures of us with it and then Kieran wanted pictures of the names of his favorite players. So we searched for Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Brett Hull, and several others. It still amazed me that my name would be forever linked to those that I had idolized growing up.

The day passed by quickly. I had promised Kieran that we would eat cereal with it, so after pictures we dumped in Frosted Flakes, some milk, and as a family ate out of the Cup. Of course, Mr. Shaw took pictures as we scooped out the cereal.

Later in the day, our parents came over and got to see it up close and personal. Charlie looked about as awe-struck as Kieran did and with every new name he found, his wonderment multiplied. I looked over at Bella who, every so often, wiped tears away as she watched her children and her father. She must have sensed my eyes on her, because she swiveled her head and caught me looking at her.

She smiled brightly at me and mouthed that she loved me. I mouthed it back with a wink.

We took the Cup to the local children's hospital to let the kids in the cancer wing get a chance to spend time with it. One of the charities that Bella was involved with was the Children's Cancer Research Fund which kept all monies raised in Minnesota to help children fighting cancer. It was a charity that was close to our hearts. The look on the kid's faces as they got to touch and take pictures with the Cup was something I would never forget. For just a brief moment, they could forget about their pain and struggles and just be a kid.

Later that night, Bella found me and the Cup outside on the patio as I puffed away on a cigar. She giggled as she saw me, with my feet propped up, the Cup lying in my lap, and my hand tracing my name.

"You look silly," she stated as she sat next to me, the Cup lying across us.

I shrugged. "I don't care." I paused for just a second. "Even seeing my name on here, it's hard to believe it's real."

Bella placed her hand over mine and together we traced EDWARD CULLEN.

"Believe it baby. But you know what?" she asked.

I hummed to let her know I heard her.

"You were always my champion, baby."

Under the stars that night, I kissed my wife next to the Stanley Cup. We both took a shot on love so many years ago and together we both scored a lifetime of memories, happiness, and love.

_Journey- Faithfully_

_Circus life_

_Under the big top world_

_We all need the clowns_

_To make us smile_

_Through space and time_

_Always another show_

_Wondering where I am_

_Lost without you_

_And being apart_

_Ain't easy on this love affair_

_Two strangers learn to fall in love again_

_I get the joy of rediscovering you_

_Oh, girl, you stand by me_

_I'm forever yours_

_Faithfully_

THE END

**A/N: *sniff* That is it everyone! There are still outtakes to come so, please keep the story on alert. If you have ever followed one of my stories.. you know that this A/N can get long... sorry.. its tradition! First off.. to any Pens fans.. *giggles* sorry.. I had to pick an Eastern Team.. and well.. I cant stand the Pens or that guy... ugh...**

**Ok.. all the stuff that Edward and the family did with the Cup happens.. a lot.. Each member of the winning team gets 24 hours with the Cup do as they please... eating and drinking out of it is one of the top things players do! Also, the Cup keeper (my term not the official one) goes EVERYWHERE the Cup goes.. soo... I'm sure they have seen some interesting things.**

**The players that Edward plays with" Mikeal Granlund and Cal Clutterbuck are actual members of the MN Wild... We also have a Cullen on the team.. honestly... Matt Cullen #7.. its awesome and I soo want a Cullen jersey.. my hubby laughs at me.. he thinks I'm weird!**

**Ahh time for all my thanks.. hang in there.. its gonna take a few lines...**

*** To all the readers... you have amazed me! There are those that read this as a one shot and begged me and hounded me to write the full story.. this story is dedicated to all of you who asked for it! This is your story! I owe some special thanks to TFA and especially oneofeddiesgirl... your contest helped birth hockeyward and started me down this path... *smooches***

*** To JRDurham... you were my go to music lady... everytime I presented you with a musical challenge..you rose up to it and exceeded it... I can't thank you enough. Plus, the boys July road trip wouldn't have been half as fun and exciting without your input! Love ya girl!**

*** To ALL the hockey h00rs in the sweetward group: Linda, Dawn, Tiffany, Glo, Carmen, Dani, MC, Alex.. gah.. I know I am missing soo many of you..but you know who you are... you were on my ass to give you teasers on Fri and post on Tuesday.. I do appreciate your support.. soo fucking much! *mwah***

*** Ahh my Pre-readers: JoJo- girl... your emails NEVER failed to make me smile.. then you would go and defend hockeyward and make me smile more. Your support this whole journey has been appreciated.. thanks! Lissa... GAH... I have never laughed so hard as when I read your comments to the chapters... the absolute randomness and hilarity of them left me laughing till I cried. Thanks for all the love and support. Missy.. what can I say that I haven't already said... you rock.. you are my sanity and my other half... you are my twifey.. 'nuff said.. except.. ILY!**

*** Lastly, but never forgotten... Jen.. my beta Gosh.. I learned sooo fucking much from you... one day I may master commas... or I'll die trying... I'll work on pesky -ly words next... seriously... you took a chance on me... some unknown punk author and now I feel as if I have a clue... or at least I can fake it better now! lol... You have become a great friend to me.. and well.. thats the best part of it all! Love you oodles!**

**Ahh so.. whats next for ol' Witchy... a litle of this and a little of that. Things I know are coming: Part 2 of Her Dark Salvation.. you have all begged for it.. so..watch for it. Missy has asked for a future take for Only The Night Knows.. so watch for that. I may give my hand a try at original fiction... and I do have one new FF that may come.. soo... keep me on alert..**

**Till next time.. keep your feet on the ice and your head up! *kisses and hugs***


	31. OT1: I'm a Douche and I Know It

**A/N: No.. your eyes are not decieving you.. its a hockeyward outtake! YAY! This one was suggested by the lovely sholtsclaw who wanted to hear from Edward why he was such an ass to Bella in ch. 23 Bumps in the Road when she told him she would miss his first college game. So.. I bring it to you with no further delay.**

**As always- love to Itlnbrt who beta'd it for me to my pre-readers: CullensTwiMistress, fanfichardcore and JoJo757 AND 2 special extra pre-readers: Twiddler83 and sholtsclaw... THANKS LADIES!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... just hockeyward! ENJOY!**

Outtake #1

I'm a Douche and I Know It

**EPOV**

_David Guetta f/ Usher- Without You_

_Can't erase, so I'll take blame  
But I can't accept that we're estranged  
Without you, without you  
I can't quit now, this can't be right  
I can't take one more sleepless night  
Without you, without you_

_I won't soar, I won't climb_  
_If you're not here, I'm paralyzed_  
_Without you, without you_  
_I can't look, I'm so blind_  
_I lost my heart, I lost my mind_  
_Without you, without you_

The minute the words flew from my lips and I stormed out of her dorm room, I regretted it. I knew I sounded and acted like a douche. I wasn't very proud of myself in that moment. Part of me wanted to run back to her room and beg for her forgiveness. But the wounded man in me that relied on Bella's unwavering support refused to back down. Instead, I sulked all the way to my room and plopped down on my bed.

As I looked at the ceiling tiles and counted the holes, I tried to find a way to make it right. Instead, all I could think about was how it all went wrong. Maybe if I had let Bella know what I had been going through, she would have understood how much I needed her at the game. But no, I had to play the macho, big strong guy, and shoulder the stress I was under. Plus, as much as I loved her, she really had no idea how hard it was juggling everything. College was a whole different game and I always felt behind.

The last few days of practice had kicked my ass, even more so than when practices first began. It just seemed I was unable to find my flow with my new line mates. We didn't click, passes were sloppy, and we were reading each other wrong. Coach was on our asses constantly and the glares my teammates were throwing at me seemed like they blamed me for the lack of chemistry. I had expected for it to take time to find the right blend of skill and comfort when joining a new team. I just never thought it would take this long.

Add that to my struggling to keep up with school work and I felt as if I was no longer swimming but drowning and sinking fast. I worried that for the first time in my life, I was going to have to choose between school and hockey and the thought terrified me. Playing hockey was all I ever wanted to do and I knew if I gave up now, I'd regret it later. Just somehow I needed to find a way to get my shit in order because if I kept snapping at Bella like that, I wouldn't have a girlfriend.

The whole week leading up to my first game, I was a quivering pile of nerves. I had a constant sensation of the need to puke and my pride was still unwilling to grovel back to Bella. I needed her too much. The thought of her not being there at my first game just sent me into a tailspin. So like the immature asshole that I was, I avoided her. Of course, that didn't mean I didn't let her see how upset I was at her breaking her promise to me.

Yeah, I know. I was an asshole, I get it!

The look of hurt on her face nearly crippled me inside. But I felt as if I was barely keeping pace in front of a huge snowball that was barreling toward me. If one more thing went wrong, I knew I would be crushed under the weight and strain of the pressure. Bella was my safe harbor, my one true lifeline in this crazy chaotic mess. I needed her like I needed air to breathe.

So, I trudged onward and prayed I could keep my wits about me, which was all good in theory until I got to practice two days before the first game. I was tired, cranky, and when we started working on our fore check drills, I sensed that something was going to happen.

I was out with the third line and we were up against the first line. I had the puck and was trying to drive it down the side before dumping it back for my line mate. I was close to the boards when our senior d-man, Derek, hip checked me into the boards. I lost an edge and hit the ice hard.

"Fuck," I screamed. "Take it easy, asshole," I yelled. The senior glided back over to me and the smirk on his face made me want to rearrange it permanently.

"If you can't play with the big boys, CC is just an hour away. I'm sure they would be thrilled with some of our rejects." Now if I was rational, I would have seen this as normal hazing behavior. I was just a frosh on the team, and I had to earn the respect of everyone, especially the seniors. But all I processed was that it was one more thing that went wrong.

"Fuck off, asswipe."

His mocking laugh made me see red, I scrambled upright, and lunged for him. I managed a few good shoves before the coach blew his whistle and our teammates surrounded us, keeping us from going at each other. When coach reached us, we stopped, unwilling to make things worse and possibly earn a ride on the pine pony for the first game.

"Don't care what happened, all I care is that you drop the attitude before Friday's game. Herbies should shut you both up."

We both groaned but with one no nonsense look from Coach we shut up.

"I think twenty should do it then hit the showers. You're done for the day."

Internally, I flipped off both Derek and coach but then began the grueling motions of herbies. About forty-five minutes later, I was dripping in sweat, I still wanted to hurt someone but I could barely lift my arms to do anything about it. Lucky for me, Derek was feeling the pain of our punishment as well, we didn't speak or look at each other as we washed up and then left the locker room going our separate ways.

By the time game day rolled around, I was drained. I had no fucking fight left in me. I was resigned to let whatever happened, happen. I no longer cared. What was the point? Bella wasn't going to be there. I also felt like a monumental ass regarding how I had treated Bella over the last week. I took out my frustration and stress on the one person who could have helped me. If she ever gave me her forgiveness, I knew I wouldn't deserve it.

I sat in front of my locker, my gear was on but I felt nothing. There were no nervous butterflies trying to escape from my stomach or the taste of anticipation on my tongue. Instead, I felt cold, stuck in place while things around me moved at light speed. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one that left me floundering for something familiar. I glanced at my phone and for one brief second I gave into the idea of texting Bella and begging her to come to the game. But once again, my pride reared its ugly head and refused to give into the temptation. We were stubbornly holding onto the sliver of belief that we were right, even when my heart knew I was so very wrong. So with a resigned sigh I slipped my phone into my locker and then locked it up.

Coach was giving last minute instructions but they weren't sticking with me. I was scattered and frustrated. As we skated on the ice for warm ups, the crowd was full of energy and instead of sucking it up, it fell flat at my feet. I gave up trying to muster any type of excitement and enthusiasm and just let things happen.

My first shift on the ice was horrible. I was a step or two behind the play. My passes were sloppy and I failed to make a single check. Coach gave me the stink eye, and I just shrugged at him. There was nothing left for me to say or do. At that moment, I could have cared less if I was off the team.

My next shift, I missed a pass that was floated to me, it was intercepted and they scored. I screamed out in frustration and then went to the bench to listen as coach screamed in my ear about my playing. Anger simmered just below the surface and I was ready to tell him to shut the fuck up, but one look at him told me keeping my mouth shut was in my best interest. But it was of no surprise when he severely limited my playing time. I played one more shift and he kept it short. Too bad another goal was scored while I was out there.

During intermission I resisted the urge to call Bella and beg for her forgiveness. I knew I was an ass to her. I knew how important her education was to her. I was proud that she took it seriously. I also knew how much she wanted to be present for the game. The look in her eyes as she me told she couldn't make it expressed the depth of her sorrow. Too little too late, I realized that some things were just out of our control.

As we walked to the ice to start the second period I promised myself that I was going to shake the emo shit I was feeling and play for my team. I knew that when Bella found out how I played in the first period she would ream me a new one. At the very least I could do right by her even if she wasn't here.

I skated in circles, digging down deep inside me to find some reserve of joy for the game as we warmed up for the second period. My mind vacillated between the game and Bella to the point that all I wanted was to make her proud. Of course, all that thinking of her made me think I was hearing her voice. Out of habit I scanned the crowd, feeling silly that I expected to see her when I knew she was holed up with her study group.

Yet, out of the corner of my eye, a flash of brown caught my eye and I found myself looking over at it, feeling silly that I wished it was Bella. So when I finally looked at what caught my eye, I was astonished to say the least. It seemed as if the hockey gods wished to intervene and they sent me an angel, they sent me Bella.

Our faces broke out in the same silly grins when I realized it was her and she saw that I noticed her. The veil of apathy and regret that hung over me lifted and I started to feel lighter and freer. When she mouthed that she loved me even after all that I did and said I knew that I didn't deserve her. She was a much better person than I would ever hope to be. But for now she was mine.

But Bella being Bella, she reminded me why I was here, in this building, and what my duties were. Using her hand to form the letter C, she then held it up to where the Captain's letter would be. It was a subtle but effective reminder of how she wanted me to play. In that moment, I knew that she came because somehow she knew I was playing like crap. It might sound conceited to think that way, but I knew it to be true. It was just one the many ways Bella proved how well she knew me.

I nodded to let her know that I heard her-loud and clear. It was time to make her proud of me, to show her, my team, and the fans what kind of player I was and could be. So that was what I did. I played my heart out. The change in my playing was so dramatic that as the game wore on my playing minutes increased.

I think I nearly gave coach a heart attack when a pass I made threaded between two defensemen. But it worked, it hit Jack's stick perfectly, and he was able to lift it up over the goalie's shoulder. It was our first goal of the game and it wasn't our last. When all was said and done we won the game six to four and I netted myself another assist.

As I was putting my things away coach came up to me and took a seat next to me on the bench.

"I don't know what happened between the first and second period, and I don't care to know. All I know is I want the player I saw in the second and third period. That was the Edward I recruited. You keep playing like that and you will go far. Play like you did in the first and you'll make butt buddies with the pine pony. Understand me?"

Coach's glare was steely and one hundred percent serious. I couldn't help but fuck with him.

"I think so. So no more playing like crap, is that what you mean?" I smirked at him and added a wink for good measure.

"Smart ass! Get out of here before I forget how well you played and concentrate on how much you sucked." At his wink I couldn't help laugh at him, as I swung my bag over my shoulder.

"See ya tomorrow, coach."

A short time later I walked outside the arena to find Bella waiting for me. I stopped and stared at her, still in awe that she loved me, faults and everything. When we were at last toe to toe, I opened my mouth to speak, to let loose the torrent of apologies that hung heavy on my tongue and in my heart. But Bella was having none of it; she placed two gentle fingers on my lips.

"I know; I always did and there is nothing more to say. Well maybe except that I am so proud of you, Edward."

I tipped my head so we were resting forehead to forehead and I got lost in her warm sable eyes. "There is something I have to say. Thank you for being in my life, baby. You know what I need before I do, and I will spend my days showing you how much I love you."

Our lips met in a soft kiss. There was no need to rush through it. It was sweet and gentle, a soft declaration of our love. Hands pulled us closer so that our bodies fused together. Lips tasted and kissed with relaxed ease. When we pulled away, we did with as minimal of space possible. We breathed each other in as we just stared at each other.

Bella pulled back a little more and I watched as her lips curled into the sexy smile I loved best.

"I know you love me, baby. No need to prove it. Just be the best you can be, it's all I ask."

I kissed her nose and her giggle warmed my heart. "I think I can do that."

**An: Aww... soo sweet... **

**Just in case you were wondering: frosh- short hand way of saying freshman, CC- Colorado College- in state rivals to Denver and herbies- grueling drill in which skaters move back and forth between the lines up and down the ice- if you've ever seen the movie Miracle- you know what I'm talking about!**

**There is one more outtake to come- just not sure when I'll get to it.. This time the subject was voted on by the ladies in the FB group Sweetward's Mistresses- they want some Daddyward.. soo.. they will get it!**

**So, now.. hit me with your thoughts... I miss them soo much! WVG!**


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